So I was recently watching “Jack Frost” and it hit me that there are a lot of biblical references in that episode. Such as “Wow, Peter must be out denying everybody today” [when we hear a rooster crow] or “the three horses of the apocalypse, the fourth had after school activities.” Having been raised in the Christian tradition I really find these jokes rather hilarious. So, your fav biblical riff?
I’m going to expand this to include religious references as well. For example, I always enjoy [shot of clouds] “This is God! Pick up the pace!”
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This isn’t just my favorite religious MST joke – it’s my favorite religious joke in anything, ever:
“Pay attention to the word of God.”
“For He loves you, and He may kill you if you don’t.”
Awesome discussion topic! I’d forgotten which episodes some of these riffs came from, makes me want to watch them again.
Nobody’s yet mentioned this bit from Invasion of the Neptune Men – as the alien invaders are firing off missiles, Mike goes into horse race announcer mode: “And-the-angel-Gabriel-is-in-the-lead-along-the-rail-St.-Michael’s-in-second-there’s-a-pack-of-cherubim-and-seraphim-closing-in-fast!”
And Puma Man, given its subject matter, has some fun moments too, aside from those already cited by ANGMEM (#10), such as Servo singing along with the closing theme music: “Glory to our space-gods in the highest, glo-ri-a, in excelsis deo!”
(And I’m with Ryan and Watch-Out-For-Snakes (#37), Servo’s “Man, Peter must be walking around denying everybody this morning!” riff from Jack Frost is still one of my all-time favorites!)
“Me? No, I’m Jewish.” -“Pumaman”
Also, there’s a “Happy Saint Blaise Day” joke somewhere, but I can’t quite remember the episode. “Soultaker”?
@This Guy (#39) – Thanks for the added context, I wasn’t aware of that Catholic tradition. The Nostalgia Critic also used the “Barabbas! Give us Barabbas!” line in his review of the Dungeons & Dragons movie. (Note that he was also one of the contributors to the Batman Forever RiffTrax.)
@MSTie (#45) – I’ve not watched that episode, I’d certainly never thought of myself as “hardcore”! XD As for your “exclusive” comments, I’d say that depends on the individual church, as mine at least is very welcoming.
@Joel Lillo (#48) – Yeah, you guys are pretty “hardcore”. ;) From your earlier post, I wanted to point you to the Martin Luther reference in Screaming Skull, but I see quint (#34) beat me to it. Aside from that, there are some other amusing comments (mostly Catholic oriented) stemming from one of the main characters being a Reverend:
Tom (as Reverend Snow): “You are a life-saver, I can’t believe I ran out of holy water!”
Crow: (as they approach the cupboard) “Okay, I’ll climb in, and you confess through the little hole.”
In Space Mutiny, there’s something about a “Wicca Tupperware party”. I love that one.
(Hey, you did say “religious” instead of just “Biblical”!)
My fave is still from “The Painted Hills”:
Tommy: And nothing is gonna stop me until I do!
*crach of thunder and flash of lightning*
Joel: This is God…STOP!!
In “Wild Rebels”, there’s a moment when the bikers are plotting their strategy (such as it is), and they finish up, one noting that they’ve got a big day ahead of them.
Crow responds, “Yeah, we’ve got early Mass.” To this day, I (and now my wife) think of that whenever someone discusses going to early Mass.
She’s also always liked the one Sampo mentioned, with the shot of clouds and the line “This is God. Pick up the pace!” I distinctly remember it being in “Swamp Diamonds”.
There’s this bit from Agent for H.A.R.M
Judge: And for your prosecutor…
Mike: Oh, someone merciful…uh…St. Therese of Lisieux!
Judge: Sorry, St. Therese’s on a racketeering case for the Bronx D.A…
Oh man, one of the best few minutes of MST3K come in Rebel Set when the fake priest is being chased. Had to rewatch that one. A sampling:
“Go in peace. Sin no more. I’m outa here!”
“I said you’re forgiven, now leave me alone!” (while hitting man with luggage)
“I am in a state of grace — leave me alone!”
“Bless you! Bless you!” (in exasperated tone while beating man with a chain)
@Spade #54 — Good to know about your church! :-D Now I realize my own comments about this Lutheran synod vs. that one did not sound very nice. A Diet of Worms for me!
There was that quote from the Book of Genesis in Eegah, about there being “giants in the Earth, in those days.” Joel: “Oh, that’s totally out of context.”
I know that Edward Platt when he’s disguised as that priest in The Rebel Set always cracks me up with references too many to list.
In that same camp are all the Bible references in Teenage Crimewave when the old man keeps bringing out the Bible to read from. Again, far too many to list here though.
Mitchel, The Girl in Lovers Lane, Catalina Caper, Attack of The The Eye Creatures and The Giant of Marathon (the Film Crew) make
mention of what religious group?
Did it bug anybody else that they kept making Catholic references regarding Reverend Oblivious in The Screaming Skull? He’s clearly Protestant – he’s married!
At Retrocon with weekend, a writer for BleedingCool got an autograph from Joel and talked with him for a few minutes about an MSTK Kickstarter. No other info besides that, but this is the first time the word “Kickstarter” has ever been officially said.
http://www.bleedingcool.com/2014/10/03/retro-con-2014-bleeding-cool-brings-you-donuts-interviews-with-multiple-time-traveling-devices/
“Get me; I’m Saint Sebastian!”–Quest of the Delta Knights, we think.
From Pumaman: “You know, if this spaceman/puma thing turns out to be the correct religion, I for one, will be very surprised.”
From Girls Town:
When Mamie is told that prayers to the statue of St. Jude would go to God and one of the bots chimes in with “Jude’s wearing a wire!” or Paul Anka’s rendition of Ave Maria with “special lyrics by Sammy Cahn” or when Paul is lighting a candle in the chapel and Mike and bots make fireworks noises.
Soultaker: “David Byrne was right. Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens!”
“Hey, Looks like God’s doing alright for himself.”
“You are not Gods”
“How can you tell?”
“Our Gods are always angry and giving orders”
“Ah, she’s Catholic”
My Father taught Philosophy at Fullerton for two years. And although I’ve been an atheist since childhood I’ve read enough of the Bible to understand a lot of the religion jokes which I have a great fondness of.
Although more of a philosophy than religion joke the exchange in Gunslinger about how the good ones always dying first meant that moral ambiguity was responsible for the largely random pattern of death is one of my favorite riffs.
If I had to choose one, it would be the moment in “Godzilla vs. Megalon” after the goofy chase in which the helmeted motorcycle driver gets dunked with white paint(?). There’s a shot of the sky, and Servo says something like: “The gods do not approve of this inept car chase scene!”
Once Upon a Honeymoon: “Sir, should we move on to wars or starvation or anything?”
Space Mutniy: “There’s trouble at the church of the bomb!”
This Island Earth: “So they worship the everlasting gobstopper?”
Giant Spider Invasion: “Is there a Proverb that says when the end of this movie is?”
Also the whole monk chase scene from Final Justice is classic, especially Mike’s runner about “Super-Monk”.
One of my favorites has to be from (I believe) “Magic Voyage of Sinbad” when it shows a bunch of people doing handsprings up an aisle and Joel says, “That’s an odd way to go to communion.”
The church scene in “Final Justice” – there’s a statue of the Virgin Mary and one of the bots says “Hi Mare” (from “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”). I’m Catholic and that always cracks me up.
And there’s “Laugh, Children, Laugh” from “The Giant Gila Monster” – did the Lord say it that many times?
“St. Francis boxing pose” from The Screaming Skull
In fact, my mom and I always bring that riff up whenever we see a statue of St. Francis in somebody’s yard.
Lots of good ones, but no one mentioned my favorite. In Samson Vs the Vampire Women, the vamps and their minions are swanning about with a man strapped to an altar and lit torches and someone says, “This is what Southern Baptists think Catholic mass is like.”
@45, 48 – Yes, a lot of Athie and/or Catholic don’t quite understand the schism between the two Lutheran factions (and makes largely uninformed jokes about “Wind them up and watch them fight!”), but for those with Minnesota and/or New England upbringing, calling a New England Lutheran a Missouri Lutheran is roughly the equivalent of calling a Massachusetts Democrat a Florida Republican. And for pretty much the same reasons (ie. the NE’s being smugly content about being most liberal in the country)…Let’s just say you don’t do it.
As pointed out in a few places above, 601-Girls Town is rife with Catholic jokes, such as “another successful sexual intervention, courtesy of the Roman Catholic Church.”
But mine and my wife’s favorite riff from that movie, and one of our top 10 favorite riffs ever, comes when Silver Morgan (Mamie Van Doren) scurries around the Girls Town hallways hiding her date night necessities.
“Mamie sabotages the sisters’ Seder by planting multiple afikomen.”
It’s so beautifully obscure. An “afikomen” is a tradition found at a Passover seder, where a single piece of matzah from the table is hidden somewhere in the house. It’s usually the children who get to run around and try and find it, and they get some kind of reward or treat when they do. But no one would plant multiple afikomen — that would be sabotage, indeed.
A perfectly timed riff, but one of those that must be completely obscure for a good 95% of the viewing audience. Those are my favorite in MST3K, because when you’re “in” on such an obscure joke, it’s so much the better!!
My favorite occurs during a scene in “Twelve to the Moon”. The astronauts find a cave opening with a large rock next to it, and one of the astronauts is crouching down, apparently examining something on the ground. Someone (Crow?) says, in a stereotypical 1950’s movie Native-American accent: “Hmm, Messiah tracks… two, three days old.”
And remember—when you touch yourself, the saints cry. Goodnight. [Crow, Body Care And Grooming]
#53 === Soultaker it is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfXGmNpqfmo
Future Wax:
“Sister Vehicular Homicide.”
“By the way, I asked Sister Bertrille to give us air support against the dinosaurs.”
The Thing That Couldn’t/Wouldn’t Die
As Gordon explains to Jessica that people once believed wearing the pendant would protect them from evil, Mike’s riff “So Catholicism was just a placebo?” is memorable to me.
In one of the marriage shorts (I think it was the one with the rubber band) the counselor mentions something about styles of worship, and a riffer intones sweetly, “I worship Cthulhu.” Gotta love the Lovecraft.
#66 — you are correct with the episode title … you get a communion wafer
“Hey, leave some room for the Holy Ghost.” —- Night Of The Blood Beast
Great thread.
From “Track of the Moon Beast”
Lightning Strike while they’re watching the meteor shower:
“Stop talking! Fornicators!!”
Which movie is it where Servo keeps singing “Yes, Jesus loves me” over the score which keeps repeating that tune?
”…of Nimrod, and Dorkus!” – Rifftrax SWHS
Then there’s the entire Days of Our Years short.
“Yes, it’s America’s favorite Deacon of Death.”
From Warrior of The Lost World,
Crow: “If that’s God, I’m quitting.”
Future War
Jesus was a kickboxer…right?
Crow and Servo singing “Snow White Dove” throughout Boggy Creek II is one of my favorite runners of the whole series. It just gets funnier each time they do it, especially as they harmonize.
In fact, that might make a good discussion thread in the future: favorite times when guys sang along to the background music.
There’s a nice moment in the Hor-Riff-Ic productions riff of Children of the Corn there’s a nice bit where the male lead declares his rejection of any religion based on fear and bloodletting, and one riffer adds, “So much for Christianity”.
A bit off topic, but this has always bugged me and since we are on the subject of the Bible I will point it out. In Eegah, the closing narration quotes Genesis chapter 6 – “There were giants in the earth in those days.” Joel responds “That’s totally out of context.”
Actually, it’s not just out of context, they actually give the wrong reference. I believe the narration says this is verse 32, but it is actually verse 4. In fact, there is no verse 32 in that chapter.
Not a riff, just nitpicking.
Oh, so many, many options to choose from on this theme! MST3K had a _lot_ of religious jokes during its run. Which is one of the reasons I liked the series, and which says a lot about the show and its writers, too.
I’ll just mention two favorites, out of many:
-Humor sometimes depends on context, and it didn’t any better for me than my personal introduction to MST3K, which was the episode “High School Big Shot”. I had never seen the show, in large part because I was in graduate school in England for most of its run. But my brother had access to a VHS tape duplication and conversion service, and was able to send me a couple of episodes in a format I could play on an English VCR. “High School Big Shot” was a great experience for me not so much for the movie (which was pretty bland) but for the short “Out of This World”, the one about the angel and the devil contending for the work habits of the bread truck driver. I didn’t know MST3K did shorts, so I didn’t expect it coming (making it funnier). Plus, the short is just *so* bizarre—painfully earnest, but goofy and weird. And the kicker for me? I was living in an Anglican seminary at the time (just renting—I wasn’t studying for the ministry). So when Mike and the Bots were watching the farrago going, “You know, this doesn’t match up with any theology with which I’m familiar”, I was rolling on the floor laughing.
-I know the theme of “Did you ever complete the riff in your head before they said it on screen?” has been covered before, but my favorite incidence of that was during “Code Name Diamond Head”, where villain Ian McShane is going through his “Master of Disguise!” schtick at the beginning of the film. It was kind of surprising to have his last Disguise! be that of a priest in full clericals. And all the worse when he ruined the effect by sticking his trademark cigarette in a holder in his mouth and leering at the camera. I thought at the time, “Geeze; he looks for all the world like a clerical Bond villain”, and then one of the Bots chimed in, “Ah, Mister Jesus; You have a nasty habit of surviving . . .” Breaks me up every time I see it.
This is an interesting discussion thread to cover because I think this theme in particular says a lot about the show. Many critics summarize MST3K as a bunch of people mocking bad movies. But that’s not what they were doing, really. Rather I think you saw that amongst the writers there was a genuine affection for the kind of genre films they featured during the show. After all—consider the last scene of the last episode: Mike and Bots, though free of the SOL, are *still* watching bad movies all on their own. What I think the writers on MST3K were doing wasn’t so much *mocking* their films as *teasing* them. And mocking and teasing are two different things. You mock what you hate, but you tease what you love. And if you love something, you don’t really want to hurt it. The humor throughout the run of MST3K was usually gentler and less vicious than you often see in comedy, and I think that reflected the affection the writers had for the material they were lampooning. And I think that affection is also reflected in all the religion jokes the show did. So much of modern comedy can be vicious towards religion, but the religion gags on MST3K were a lot gentler and more respectful (and frequently quite erudite and knowledgeable). And I always appreciated the show for having that element to it—remembering that religion is important to a lot of people’s lives, no matter how many people in the Media these days seem to want to forget that fact. I never knew why did it. Maybe there was just more old-fashioned piety amongst the cast, since they were a bunch of Midwesterners. They seemed to take religion lightly enough to laugh at, but seriously enough to respect it. And I’m glad they did it.
Really, no one has brought up the riff in Mr. B Natural in which, after Mr. B mentions that (s)he was in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve, Servo quipped that (s)he was the snake?
Speaking of, any time Joel does his “Hi, I’m Satan!” bit when there’s a snake.
And of course there’s Crow getting into sooo much trouble when he sells his soul
to Stan, not Satan.
Merlin’s Magical Shop of Wonders- In the “dumb dad v. cybal-clashing monkey” story, when the Earth opens up and the dad is hanging on a cliff about to fall in, he cries out “God help me” and Mike
(in a deep, Godish baritone) replies “Sorry Unitarian, but you believe I only exist in sunshine and butterflies” (In your FACE, Piotr of Goniadz!)