I was watching “Terror from the Year 5000” recently and felt suddenly disturbed by the relationship between Dr. Gym Coach and Claire. Ignoring that he looked MUCH older than her and she looked NOT MUCH younger than her father, it just seems like a really bad idea to move in on your colleague’s daughter in HIS house, on an ISLAND, with her fiance there (who already doesn’t like you), get caught making out, beat up the housekeeper AND the fiance, and then show no remorse when the fiance dies. But what was creepy was that Claire went along with the whole thing!
The one that comes to mind immediately for me is Forest Tucker in “The Crawling Eye,” who endangers everyone to run after the little girl’s ball. What an idiot.
What’s your pick?
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How about Robert Reed and his three fellow losers in Bloodlust? Why would anyone in his or her right mind get on a charter boat with a devout alcoholic captaining it?
#30 Right you are, and then we have the woman–“Who cares! No one will believe that these things exist anyway!” (tears picture to shreds) Huh?
#43 Then there’s this decision–“Be gone, nasty dead bat which could have proven whether or not my husband now has rabies, you’re ugly!” (kick) Huh?
Doug 51: yes, the Bloodlust teen crew did an awful lot of sitting around and pondering their fate instead of actually jumping Ballou or a guard. I mean , you have nothing to lose, you’re going to die, he threatens to farm out your girlfriends as concubines; and you do…nothing.
And the Southern Sun (from Space Mutiny) had some strange commanders. Cameron Mitchell and Mr. Oi! never make it clear exactly why they need to keep it a secret that Kalgan has rebelled, and why they can’t fight him. And if Kalgan has all the soldiers and weapons, why doesn’t he just stroll up to the bridge and take over the ship himself? Oh, I know why…”countermeasures.” Ugh.
I also nominate the kids from ‘Earth vs Spider’ when they decide to go back in the cave to explore. the giant-spider-infested cave where several have already died. Of course, the adults (that know-it-all Kingman) decided to keep the mutated giant in the school gym…without verifying that it’s really dead. oops.
Ugh…and in the category of character who could’ve helped, the assistant to Dr Whit from ‘Teenage Werewolf.’ He repeatedly tells the doctor that what he’s doing is evil, and causing all those deaths; was he afraid of losing his grant? Why didn’t he tell anyone?
@38 Thanks. That does make sense.
This one nags at me.
In “Marooned” (alias “Space Travelers”), Keith pretty much tells the crew that one of them had better commit suicide fast so that the others might live. So, Pruett, a responsible commander and an experienced astronaut, more or less decides to do it. Problem is, he does it by suiting up and going outside the spacecraft, which involves, through activity and depressurizing the cabin, using up a lot of breathable air his buddies will need. Seems to me they should’ve taken Stone’s advice and just drugged themselves into a coma until help arrives.
The worst part is that this was a well-researched movie, from a book by a longtime aviation and space writer, yet they let that one slide.
Forrest Tucker doesn’t run after the little girl’s ball, he runs after the little girl, who went to chase the ball. (Maybe they cut that part out for MST3K? I’ve never seen the MST3Ked version since it’s a favorite movie of mine)
While in a certain sense, retrieving a little girl while endangering the others was questionable, I think leaving a kid to be eaten by monsters is not behavior acceptable in movies back then. Also probably easier to just get the girl than deal with a hysterical mother who would protest leaving without her. (Beyond that, the whole scene is a setup to reveal the monsters for the first time)
But I would go with Robert Vaughn in Hangar 18. As the general at the end of the movie points out, the whole thing could have been avoided if he had just confided in Gary Collins and the goofy guy instead of trying to cover it up from them. Of course, that would have undermined the whole plot of the movie, but still, dumb.
Lee Van Cleef in It Conquered the World was an okay guy who just wanted to make the world a better place, but he learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature…
Batwoman is well-meaning, but she should really stop hiring bikini babes who can barely tie their shoes. What am I saying?! HIRE MORE BIKINI BABES, BATWOMAN! With my blessing.
At the end of “Phantom Planet”, Frank finds the woman of his dreams. He’s already been told that breathing in the atmosphere of Rayton (spelling?) caused him to shrink, and, that breathing plain old oxygen would restore him to his normal size. If that’s the case, wouldn’t Zeta grow to the size of an Earth woman, by doing the same? Instead of leaving her behind, why not have her board the rocket with him? Surely, she’d grow to human proportions, and could adjust to life, on Earth. What a dope.
“parts: the clonus horror,” hands down.
“They wanted to harvest my organs, and that was before they sent people to hunt me down and kill me just for running around loose and threatening to blow their whole operation. …I know! I’ll go BACK! Don’t try to stop me!”
“‘K. Wanna ride?”
“…Seriously, don’t. I’m going and nothing can change my mind.”
“Right. I’m asking if you want a ride back to where we picked you up. I mean, hey, assassins, no big whoop, right?”
Ironically, everything that occurs after that is the only part of the film that follows any logical sense: he immediately gets caught, they kill him and harvest his organs, and the Clonus Project STILL falls apart.
# 12 STUMPCHUNKMAN— Look Rita and I had a sweet love, a pure love, a love that padded the film you could say. Remember she gave me that lock, if that doesn’t say love to you, than you don’t know love my friend. I know that Paisley chick was hot, she wanted me, but she was a little girl and as I told her someday little girls grow up to be women. A woman like my Rita, but I gotta say Paisley had quite a rack for a little girl. But keep in mind they both died at the hands of that crazy s.o.b. JC, come to think of it so did I.
Now bathed in pure white light Rita and I run in slow motion through that field. Me with that lock around my neck and that Jiffy Pop hat and Rita with her hair in pig tails, laughing, and rolling, and loving because we said we still wanted that after we were married.
Judy in the short “A Young Man’s Fancy.” Yes, by chatting endlessly about that kitchen with Alex(zander Phipps), she made a love connection. But it won’t be too long into their marriage before she’ll realize that she has committed to a lifetime of hopeless drudgery. Even Mike recognizes that kitchens are basically prisons.
Harry from Skydivers is full of bad decisions, from cheating on his wife to who he was cheating on his wife with, from hiring an idiot as a mechanic to having Mr. “I life coffee” come visit. He did, however, make some good decisions, such as:
1) Having Petey, his dad, and all their plane friends on hand to help out when trouble or international Communists are around;
2) Having Jimmy Bryant and his band play their night party;
3) Opening a skydiving service in a town with a Skydiver-based economy. That’s brilliant marketing, that is.
The Grandma Archeologist Guy in “Werewolf”.
He actually hired Natalie (an airhead) and the Guy With Hair of Many Colors (clearly a psycho)…
Gonna go with the ditzy schoolmarm from Angel’s Revenge. “Let’s take on the drug cartels! They’ll never stop these breasts!”
GUMBY should not have programmed defective robots to do his landscaping chores.
I nominate the wizened geezer from Rocketship X-M. He trumps the long-hand math concerning the fuel mixture ratio that the cute Nordic girl has carefully checked and re-checked, implies that she’s stupid, and insists on using his own superior calculations. Old, sexist white guys are (nearly) always right, after all!
Of course, his numbers doom everyone as the ship hurtles so far off course that its just plain ridiculous. He makes a further mistake by then insisting they all explore Mars in their loose fitting flight-fatigues, but this second blunder is basically moot at that point. His first error means that by the end of the film the entire mission crew will surely be dead.
At least the old coot dies a painful, satisfying death at the hands and rocks of the Martian cavemen. I always cheer at that glorious moment…
Teenage Crime Wave – The parents not even giving the good girl the benefit of the doubt. I know the 50’s were big on status, but any decent lawyer could have proven her involvement was circumstantial and played her up as a sympathetic victim, minimizing any damage.
SST Death Flight – John DeLancie getting so blindingly jealous over Peter Graves he loses the girl and can’t even get her back by offering her a shoulder to cry on when Graves snuffs it.
City on Fire – Leslie Nielsen having his affair with Webster’s mom in a place with lots of windows.
Two Rifftrax’s –
Johnny in The Room for not seeing what a skank Lisa was.
Everyone involved in the Star Wars Holiday Special, the biggest losers being the TV execs arrogant enough to rewrite it behind Lucas’s back, taking a bad idea to begin with into infamy. It probably further contributed to Carrie Fisher’s bad decision to get on coke, you’d have to be drugged to even do a cameo in that.
I love this thread, very clever stuff, even if most of it IS pointing out the obvious.
I agree with Depressing Aunt at #63 about Judy in A Young Man’s Fancy. Who irons in the kitchen anyway? Next thing you know, she’ll be washing her clothes in gasoline. Furthermore, as delicious as bacon is, how can she eat so much of it and be excited about a bacon truck…mmmm bacon truck.
#69– I guess you could blame coke for Carrie Fisher’s decision to do that cameo. And as bad as that was, when you think about what Maureen McCormick did for coke —–well.
Mary Smith trusting Johnny Ryde and getting involved with Gloria’s smut racket.
Sister Ann and The Runaway taking the train to Sacramento, or wherever instead of telling the cops about the dinosaur attack.
My additions to the list:
-Samson vs. the Vampire Women: Tundra and her henchmen deciding that unmasking El Santo to find out his true identity is more important that completing the time sensitive ceremony to make the professor’s daughter the bride of the Evil One.
-Laserblast: The stop-motion animation aliens, after killing the laser-shooting guy from the start of the film, leaving the weapon on Earth, thus resulting in the film’s main character finding it and going on a shooting rampage.
-The Mole People: Adad running back to the hole that she, John Agar, and Ward Cleaver climbed up from, resulting in her getting hit by a column and dying. Of course, that was more the executives at Universal’s fault than her own.
-TISCWSLABMUZ: Jerry, after confronting Carmelita about the incident that happened the previous night, deciding to listen to her and get tricked into being hypotized by her older sister a second time.
The Fat Barkeep in “The Beatniks” was a nice enough fellow. Too bad he lowered his gun and trusted Mooney not to clock him.
Man, I hate Mooney.
Hm…. how about Rommel in “Sidehackers” walking away fro J.C after beaten up on the ground and ending up being shot?
#74 Some say Mooney was crazy, but he was whimsical.
# 75 I gotta admit turning my back and walking away from J.C. was a big dumb mistake. I mean it speaks for itself, I’m dead now. No more Sidehacking, no more hamburgers ( “you know I hate chili peppers, they burn my gut!”) no more Rita, no more hitting Big Jake, no more selling my tools and tires, no more looking at the dirty pictures in the toilet at the shop. On the upside, I don’t have to listen to that stupid hillbilly telling those lame jokes from prison– NUMBER 8. And J.C. called me “LOVER” what the hell was that about?
Hey, I thought of one more. Had Joe not decided to go golfing and instead fixed the couch springs, he (and we) would not have been subjected to Coily.
Doubling down on “High School Big Shot”:
Marvin…
1) …VOLUNTEERS to write Betty’s paper for her, even when she says “could you just help me”. Even though it was her intent to have him write the paper, he didn’t need much prodding.
2) …didn’t think of briefing her on what the paper was about beforehand.
3) …confesses immediately to writing it to the teacher under very little pressure. Didn’t even think of “I helped her with it,” or “If she didn’t write it, I don’t know who did.” (Confessing did very little good under the circumstances.)
4) …plunges into planning a heist immediately when she leaves him.
5) …tells her all about the heist before it’s even begun, for no reason. (I mean, he’ll tell her, but not his father? What?)
6) …cuts it ridiculously close when it comes to the time, not even thinking that if they were early, they could be discreetly parked a block away from the ferry at the very least.
7) …stands with his mouth agape as Vincent kills the girl he actually did the whole damn thing for, not even voicing an objection.
His whole life was a bad decision from beginning to end; for someone who’s supposed to be so smart, he did a lot of stupid things.
While it didn’t happen on-screen, I choose Captain Santa Claus from Space Mutiny. If the opening narration is to be trusted, the ship known as the Southern Sun is meant to transport a whole civilization of people to a new, habitable planet. Okay. The presence of space pirates, the Belarians and the old scientist who got blown-up in Blast Hardcheese’s space fighter suggest that the Southern Sun has already come in contact with other space-faring civilizations, and by extension habitable planets. Why is the Southern Sun still searching for a new planet? Okay, maybe some established civilizations on the other planets can’t take a whole ship full of people. Fine. Why didn’t Kalgan and his cronies leave the ship of their own accord at some point? Did Captain Santa Claus really have such a vise-like hold on his people that he wouldn’t let anyone leave? Did it get to the point where Kalgan was pushed to the limit and finally plotted a violent over-throw of Captain Santa Claus?
In WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD I must question The Paper Chase Guy’s decision to not wait the extra ten or so seconds to let Persis Khambatta get on the helicopter after saving Professor Jimmy Carter. Kind of seems like he was just being a dick.
Re-watched CODE NAME: DIAMOND HEAD last night and I wonder why alleged super-secret-agent Roy Thinnes employed an overweight singer and an underweight nightclub owner, neither with any street smarts or survival skills, as his assistants. It was only the freakin pilot and BOTH of them managed to get themselves kidnapped at different points.
Also: What exactly was Merlin’s business plan when he opened his shop of mystical wonders?
Oh, and of course, forgetting the flares in THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION- Mike: Forgetting to do a simple task, brilliant plot device!
Natalie following Paul in WEREWOLF so that she could become a werewolf and join the cast of CATS.
In the Thing That Couldn’t Die………
“Did Aunt Flavia hire that guy directly out of prison.?”
Oh wait, just thought of another one: The pilot in BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS who’s cruising the desert looking for a fugitive, sees some guy who happens to be wandering around and immediately starts SHOOTING AT HIM.
Roxy shaving her dad…gross
On the flip side, her dad sitting by while Eegah gropes Roxy. “Aw, he’s pawing me, daddy!”
Tom Stewart. All he had to do was tell the cops that his ex was stalking him, they went to the lighthouse to talk, she leaned on the railing, it broke and she fell. It was the truth. Instead, he made just about every wrong decision he could. Granted, wouldn’t have been much of a movie then, but still.
‘Tom Stewart killed me!’ Nope, actually you just completly botched your seduction roll, get over it you skeezy broad.
#80
They had already decided on a planet to settle on. The Southern Sun was just on its way there, despite being 80 light years away and no one had probably ever been to it before, given the ship’s already been in transit for 13 generations.
Time chasers:
Nick selling his invention to an evil corporation that has its office in a gaudy looking library. Then the anti-hero Nick steals a car and crashes it SECONDS later.
Using a Cessna as a time traveling device. why a Cessna? Paying homage to Coleman Francis? lol.
Traveling back in time and making a BIG mess of things.
#69
The depth of George Lucas’ involvement with the show is murky at best. (He would have already been pretty busy with pre production on The Empire Strikes Back in late 1978.) If there’s a photo of him on the set, it hasn’t been found yet.
In the context of other variety specials of the era, (Paul Lynde’s Halloween Special comes to mind) it’s actually no worse than anything else that aired back then.
Since George has been trying to erase the original versions of the Star Wars trilogy from history the past 15 years, the fact he allegedly despises the Holiday Special, and yet can’t make it vanish is somehow comforting…
@78 The guy who was fixing the couch was named Gilbert. Joe was one of Gilbert’s friends who was subjected to his speech about springs (to the point where he himself almost makes the same wish the Gilbert made earlier in the short).
Mark in “Devil Doll” persuading his girlfriend Marianne into befriending Varelli,the evil ventriliquist, so that she can be seduced by him.
Johnny from Time of the Apes.
Because he didn’t care.