I noticed in the Rifftrax Manos something I had previously ignored: in the Master’s Valley Lodge there’s bookshelves in every room, and there’s a couple books on each of them.
What *do* the MiSTed movie characters read in their spare time, and why?
The Master’s Valley Lodge books all seemed to be bound volumes of the state penal code, so I’m guessing Torgo was trying to pass the Texas bar exam. This also suggests he was maybe working for the Master to pay off his student loans, which is at least as depressing as anything else in the film.
I’m guessing that on the nightstand of J.C. of “Sidehackers” is Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”
What’s your suggestion?
) to help our users cope with "trolls" and other commenters whom they find annoying. Go to our
BATWOMAN and her bikini-clad beauties— 50 SHADES OF GRAY
Check out the high jinks on the cover of RHINOS The Wild World of Batwoman.
Pardon my ignorance, but what is 50 Shades of Gray? Another excuse for housewives to vent their sexual frustrations? A novel about sparkling vegan zombies who play soccer and never touched a brain?
The ladies in MANOS— The HELP
MASTER, TORGO would like some more pie?
#52 Neptune Man– I was under the impression the book was based on that GRATEFUL DEAD song.
Three books for Eddie Crane.
1. The Birth of the Beat Generation by Steven Watson
2. On The Road by Jack Kerouac
3. Tales of Beatnik Glory by Ed Sanders
Leather coat,Ducktail hair, my foot. I’d like to Moon him with my Ducktail!
I can’t believe no one has offered this one yet:
J.C. from Sidehackers would certainly have Rommel’s book in his library.
@52 – Pretty much the former–The “Indecent Proposal” of its day, for that certain demographic of housewives who develop dangerous attachments to soap-opera actors.
(At least the Twilight fans have an excuse for not knowing any better…) ;)
And, of course, Johnny Longbow enjoys cookbooks.
I think it’s safe to assume that Commando Cody reads Modern Aviation.
I know that Jody from “Touch of Satan” should’ve read that signed copy of the Necronomicon that the Stricklands left in his room.
#58
Especially if the ingredients include corn, chicken, green peppers, chili…….onions……..
@52-It’s bad Twilight fanfic that has somehow gotten professionally published.
@ 52 it’s about 50 pairs of gray sunglasses. kind of like traveling pants.
And Mitchell doesn’t read those magazines……
The Gillman from Revenge of the Creature got some ideas from Moby Dick.
Ed Wainwright from Beginning of the End may have a copy of the Kaufman Field Guide to Insects of North America.
Stoneman #49: The hippy van driver from “Laserblast”: “The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers” (I know its a comic… er, graphic novel… but hey a little rule bending is ok, isn’t it?).
Except now they’re calling it sequential art (I wish I was making that up).
Joanie from Girl in Gold Boots wants to read A Beautiful Mind-it’s as close as she can get to a pretty mind, and God, she wants her pretty mind back…
Rommel from Sidehackers must have read Harlequin romances, considering those flashbacks (sappy songs included) of him & Rita…
Ol’ Man Crenshaw is reading To Build A Fahr by Jack London
Sitting Duck-I heard the “sequential art” thing too. “They’re not dirty cartoons, it’s erotic sequential art!” just sounds like a desperate attempt to keep your folks from throwing out your Little Annie Fannie collection.
Tommy from Pod People reads paperback novelizations of movies-his favorite ever was Explorers.
Tor (Lobo) reads The Annotated Shakespeare.
#65 I got a real kick out you bringing up “The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers.” In my last year of school 1974/1975 my best friend Kenny had a
F.F.F.B. T-shirt he’d wear to school on Fridays ’cause the weekend was party time baby. Loved all that stuff back then and was thinking about that shirt and those times gone by just the other day in work. That’s what you do when you’re 55 years old and stuck in a mind numbing boring job.
The main scientist in Amazing Colossal Man would read- Basic Biology for Dummies
CArl Moffit- The Anatomy of Fear
There’s that huge bookcase in The Dead Talk Back and Mike claims it’s full of all the Joyce Carol Oates novels published that month. Perhaps Renee was reading one right before she got whacked.
The Undead- 50 Shades of Grey
The Mad Scientist from Blood Waters of Dr. Z probably has picture books of fish stuck under his mattress as if they were Playboys.
Jerry Farrell in The Killer Shrews probably read “Death Rat”
I believe that every character played by Tor Johnson has read Simple Genius by David Baldacci.
Torgo has clearly been reading Codependent No More (in addition to Getting Girls through Hypnosis, as suggested by #31)
Pitch and the Devil from the Specialty Breads short both have a lifetime subscription to Variety
Ben Murphy, to nobody’s great surprise, only owns one book: Staying Mellow: The Ultimate Unauthorized Biography of Ben Murphy (autographed, of course)
And both Mitchell and Sheriff Geronimo spend their evenings contemplating the rebuses that come on the underside of Lone Star beer bottle caps.
The doctor from Blood Waters of Dr. Z picked up a copy of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish thinking it was a dating manual for fish-men.
Steehawk:
You could also give him (and the hunters of Devil Fish) The L.L. Bean Ultimate Book of Fly Fishing.
Toberlone – Bronx Boy: A Memoir
The Swedish Girl from “The Crawling Hand” – The Urban Dictionary
Bob (from Jungle Goddess) – The History of White People
Tee – THe Da Vinci Code
Joan (Girl in the Gold Boots) – How to Have a Beautiful Mind
prince of space reads: Little Baby SunHats Monthly
Tee and Leo read Renaissance Magazine— its a real one. i used to manage a magazine department at Hastings.
Torgo thoroughly enjoys his annotated copy of Virgil’s Complete Works and his classical literature collection. He frequently chats with Natalie from Werewolf on the finer points of great literary works. Troy, from Final Sacrifice, loves Muscle magazines. Frank Chapman is a fan of nonfiction Biology and Chemistry reference books, specifically, “Dioxygen in Biological Reactions”
Mitchell and Rowsdower – The Great Beer Guide by Michael Jackson (no, not THAT Michael Jackson)
Harold from TISCWSLABMUZ: A guide to the English language
The cast of Invasion of the Neptune Men: Mein Kampf (at least until a certain tourist attraction got destroyed)
Joel Robinson – Fatherhood, by Bill Cosby
Mike Nelson – Help! I’m A Prisoner In A Chinese Bakery, by Alan King
Crow T. Robot – How To Write, Market And Sell Your Screenplay To Hollywood
Tom Servo – The Guide To Manliness
Gypsy – Outrageous Acts And Everyday Rebellions, by Gloria Steinem
Cambot – I Am A Camera
Doctor Clayton Forrester – Leadership Secrets of Atilla The Hun
TV’s Frank – Center Square: The Life of Paul Lynde
Pearl Forrester – The Twilight series
Professor Bobo – I, Cheeta
Observer / Brain Guy – Awkward Pet Photos
I think Mikey and Troy probably have copies of Iron John (along with all the Tolkien).
I have a feeling that Dr. F is a fan of Dante’s Inferno.
Who can forget Frank reading “Getting along with Difficult People” in Giant Leeches.
The astronauts in Space Travellers were all reading Final Exit.
The Gesture Professor from “The Mole People”: The Edgar Rice Burroughs series of novels about Pellucidar, the prehistoric world “At the Earth’s Core”.
The mother of the androgynous blond kid in “Laserblast”: Stephen King’s “Thinner”.
Fu Manchu: “Taipan” by James Clavell.
Can’t resist throwing in my two cents on some of the cast-
Joel Robinson-Popular Mechanics, Popular Science, Golf Digest, Art Linklatter’s “Kids Say The Darndest Things” series, the collected works of Erma Bombeck, and Raising Demons&Life Amongst The Savages by Shirley Jackson.
Crow-Stephen King’s On Writing, various Writer’s Market guides.
Tom-the collected works of William F. Buckley, the 3 or 4 volume biography of Winston Churchill.
Dr. Forrester-various medical and general scientific tomes and periodicals, but I also picture him flipping through Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein for “light reading” and laughing himself sick.
Will try to think of more later.
Yuri from Werewolf and J.C. from Sidehackers probably had unread anger management books ion their lockers.
I imagine TV’s Frank always trying out new activities and hobbies, so he would have an extensive collection of instructional books like Ventriloquism For Beginners, Juggling For The Complete Clutz, Ice Dancing For Dummies, etc.. He’s also a member of Oprah’s Book Club.
I figure Wanda Saknussemm carries around the entire Sweet Valley High collection in that big ol’ bag of hers. Maybe she trades them back and forth with Mila, the daughter of Akronas.
And speaking of Cave Dwellers, Zor (that John Saxon-looking guy) smacks of Popular Mechanics. Waits feverishly for each new issue to arrive, then gripes for the next week about that month’s “Jay Leno’s Garage”.
Yuri from Werewolf reads letters to the editor in his local paper–maybe why he’s so angry?
Lastly, Troy McGreggor of Final Sacrifice reminds me of those alpha geeks who have always owned a copy of The Silmarillion but pooh-pooh its mythology because, secretly, they just can’t get past The Music of the Ainur. I’ll admit, it is a little dry. (Sorry, Professor Tolkien!)
Charles Keith (Gregory Peck) from “Space Travelers” (a.k.a. “Marooned”) probably has an autographed copy of “Failure is Not an Option” by Gene Krantz.
The American Indian professor from Track of the Moon Beast has a copy of, “The Joy of Cooking,” right beside his old Indian recipe for stew. He likes recipes with green peppers…onions. That sort of thing.
Capt. Robbins from BRIDE OF THE MONSTER needs the “Complete Care of Your Parakeet”. He should probably read up on something about insubordinate employees (Kelton) too.
“the chauffeur” in Pt.#3 of The Phantom Creeps = Machiavelli’s “The Prince” 8-)
Hugo the Devil Doll reads all of those ‘…for Dummies’ books because he obviously doesn’t get the title.
Vorelli probably has now out-of-circulation mags like “Upper Backs Illustrated”.
if the buffalo in my head could speak german i would not know a god damm thing. What i do know is that the language of art is out of this world.