This week’s topic came to me this week, as I contemplated the upcoming start of the new season of Cinematic Titanic live shows, and along with the announcement of the latest RiffTrax VOD title, “Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe,” hard on the heels of the live show and the recent VOD release of “Galaxy Invader.”
What do those two things have in common? Well, to me it feels like the MST3K is truly back. Yes, it’s a hoot when RiffTrax does an audio track for a major Hollywood stinker, but the unreconstructed MSTie in me gets a special thrill when either group takes on a terrible, low-budget oldie, like “Maniac” or “The Alien Factor.”
And what that means to me is: for the first time in a long time, it’s possible that some of those bad, low-budget movies that MST3K never got around to may FINALLY, some day soon, get the treatment they deserve. Yay!
So, with that wordy preamble, the question for the weekend is: If you had a chance to pitch one terrible movie to Cinematic Titanic and/or RiffTrax, what would you suggest?
For Cinematic Titanic, my gift is 1993’s “Catman: In the Boxer’s Blow.”
For RiffTrax, it’s 1976’s haunting “A*P*E.”
What would YOU pitch?
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Insect Man: Kevin Murphy (IIRC) claimed on a Sci-Fi-era chat that they were going to do (or were looking at) From Hell It Came. I *think* X: The Unknown was mentioned too. Haven’t seen either, but it would be nice to get some closure. (IIRC Kevin was enchanted by the tree costume.)
Speaking of closure– they never finished the Commando Cody serial, and as has been mentioned, there are a couple other original Gamera movies they never did. I think a list of franchises/sequels would be cool. For starters, there were other Ator movies, Deathstalkers 1 and 2, and of course the Godzilla movies…
(No, I’m not suggesting things like “Roger Corman movies.” Going by producer/director/actor would lead to madness.)
We’re definitely not in danger of the guys/gals running out of bad movies!
@word countess (#35)
In the cast appearance at the MST3K Symposium at the Museum of TV & Radio, Mike said that they were planning on featuring “Baffled” on MST, but they couldn’t resolve the rights issues. I do agree, though, that it’d be a good one to riff on.
Another 1970’s TV movie they might try is “Fer-De-Lance”, a suspense movie starring David Janssen. It’s basically “Snakes on a Plane” on a submarine, except that the characters are actually smarter than the ones in the latter movie, even Samuel L. Jackson (and I hope he doesn’t kill me for writing that).
Billy Jack! By either team.
For Cinematic Titanic, I suggest “Zardoz” with Sean Connery.
For Rifftrax, I suggest “Trick or Treat” from 1986 with Skippy from Family Ties, a Solid Gold dancer as the villain, and Ozzy Osborne as an anti heavy metal preacher.
I’d like to nominate “Lycan Colony”, or maybe “Hell Comes to Frogtown”. By the way, does anyone know how I can acquire a copy of the Star Wars holiday special? I’d like it in time for Life Day.
I also suggest “Sextette”. Mae West’s last film made in 1978 that stars the all star cast of Mae West, Timothy Dalton, Dom DeLuis, Tony Curtis, Walter Pigeon, Alice Cooper, Ringo Starr, Keith Moon, George Hamilton, and REGIS PHILBIN!. If you have never seen this crap-trap of a film, seek it out. I put the egde more to CT over RT for this, but either one I would love to see tackle this.
http://youtu.be/LiwNYZK9Iyk
Major Joe (#53). I never even thought of Billy Jack, but oh boy, you nailed it. The acting in that movie was hilarious. and it even has 50’s sci-fi actor Ken Tobey in it. Great call!!!!!
Saw Kubrick’s first film “Fear & Desire” and thought it was tailor-made for MST3K. If only Kubrick didn’t spend so much of his time & money trying to keep the movie buried.
Any of Godfrey Ho’s cut n paste martial arts movies would make for prime CT/Rifftrax material. Just check out these awesome clips
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMZFjPocqn4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6R7gyxb-nyk
I’d say ‘Night of the Lepus’ with Deforest Kelley (Dr. McCoy) about giant rabbits and also Bert I Gordon’s ‘Food of the gods’ about giant animals.
Giant animals are always funny, but these are 1970’s color movies with mod looking clothes and goofy hairstyles so it’s even better. Perfect fodder for riffing.
What about fairly med/high budget movies that had a premise hook and a lot of press, but didn’t/couldn’t stand, or just didn’t work? Example: ‘Paycheck’.
(I’m a fan of time travel sci-fi and all, but this was an illogical mess.)
I’d like to see RT handle another “Good” movie like THE MALTESE FALCON or WHITE HEAT.
I would suggest Night of the Comet for Rifftrax. It features a pre-Voyager Robert Beltran, zombies, and a couple of empty-headed Valley Girls. What more could a riffer ask for?
What was the Claude Akins movie where an airplane toilet contaminates tomatoes.
Any of the many movies with Christopher Lee playing Dracula.
Rifftrax-Octoman- half man, half octopus all cheese. CT-Blood Beach- Jaws rip-off where giant crabs under the sand attack unsuspecting beach goers.
…and any of the SyFy originals, like the one on right now “Dinoshark”. They are perfect for either team
Has anyone suggested this one?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOTOxk1naC4&feature=related
the Claude Akins movie was “The Curse”
@55 – I would second “Hell comes to Frogtown” with Sandahl Bergman (from Conan) as the security escort for Roudy Roddy Piper across a post-apocalyptic war zone. IIRC, the plot involves factions fighting over Roddy Piper for purposes of breeding, improving the genetics (?) and thereby saving their race.
“It Came Without Warning” was a scary alien-throws-flesh-eating-frisbees/pierogies movie. As a kid we thought it was so cool. Now I see its a crappy Greydon Clark movie with overacting by Jack Palance and Martin Landau, but mostly a bunch of teens who die. The hook is the cool facehugger-type alien with teeth and tentacles that you throw like a frisbee and kill people.
My vote is for Alienator from 1990. My cousin rented it in the mid 90’s. I had already seen Sidehackers and recognized Ross Hagan. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it but I do remember Ross was an evil alien
Just looked it up on IMDB and it also stars John Phillip Law and Jan-Michael Vincent! That’s the trifecta of cheese right there.
Super Mario Brothers
For CT: Clones of Bruce Lee.
Three clones of the recently-deceased Bruce Lee are created (none of whom look much like him), and are dispatched to fight crime. There’s also a mad scientist who creates an army of bronze men. (Not suntanned, actually bronze.)
I’m convinced this is at least 2 other movies slapped together, but I can’t find any info to substantiate that.
This is a great thread — like you, Sampo, I think it’s MST3K when it’s old, cheesy movies. Doing recent flicks like RT does, while fun, just ain’t the Real Deal.
And while I don’t have a full length one Mike and company could do, I am AMAZED they haven’t done “The House in the Middle”. I saw this on AMC and, dead running, I had riffs that were at least as good as any other short they’ve done (not just my judgment — my harshest critic was falling on the floor).
This HAS to be available, right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-t_5wthG0Wc
And to go further on the potential Middle Earth madness, how about the two Rankin-Bass TV movies? The question is would having Rifftrax do them (as well as the Bakshi film) be a perfect fit or too cruel, as IIRC Mike and Kevin are both big Tolkien fans.
For something a bit more old school, Night of the Demon would be a good choice.
For Rifftrax: “Mutant Hunt” (1987) – from the director of “Robot Holocaust”; ’nuff said
For Cinematic Titanic: “Wild, Wild Planet” (1965) – a British movie that almost needs no help, it’s hilariously bad on its own
Any/All of the KTMA era movies that were not redone during the subsequent seasons… Especially the “lost” ones.
Plus, every suggestion above! The really do live in a target-rich environment.
I think that both CT & Rifftrax should do a number on a bad Elvis movie from the ’60s like Clambake
I’ve always thought A*P*E was a contender.
I’d like to see them do sequels/prequels to other MSTied movies. Like others in the Ator series, the first Outlaw, and the other Deathstalkers. So, more fantasy, I guess.
Mighty Peking Man
Megaforce
The Raiders of Atlantis
Starcrash (this would be awesome)
@55 Pet the Ilama..You can get the Star Wars Holiday Special at revok dot com.And while you’re there,be sure to look up the movie R.O.T.O.R..
Since a few have suggested about Cinematic Titanic or Rifftrax re-doing some of the movie they did during the KTMA season or the 1st season,I would like to see CT re-do ROBOT HOLOCAUST.. :yes: :yes: :yes:
Re: THE LAST DINOSAUR. I think I saw that thing on TV when I was nine I thought the theme song was cheesy THEN: “He’s the last one, there ain’t no more, he is the last… DI-NO-SAUR!” Sung by a wannabe Shirley Bassey-type.
Of course, GAMERA, SUPER MONSTER comes to mind, but that’s too easy. There are a couple of Bobby Breen movies, however, I would like to put a hit on: MAKE A WISH and HAWAII CALLS. Not sure if they fit either team’s mission statement, though. Far from sci-fi or horror, they’re vapid little B-movie musicals starring child actor and boy soprano Bobby Breen who in his heyday was called “The male Shirley Temple” and almost deserved it. His rendition of ‘That’s The Hawaiian In Me’ in the latter film is one of the most mind-boggling moments in cinema, I feel.
The Maria Montez epic COBRA WOMAN would be perfect, a spectacularly deranged Technicolor hallucination, but I seriously doubt they could get the rights. And the Bomba The Jungle Boy films are probably too slow, though I have a particular fondness for ‘Bomba On Panther Island,’ which feels like everyone involved just gave up even TRYING to pretend any of it made sense. The Bomba movies feature Johnny Sheffield, the grown-up Boy from the Tarzan films, who became quite a hunk but never actually learned to act (He spends whole movies wandering around with a dopey “Gawrsh, I’m in a movie!” grin on his face) and regresses in speech patterns (“Bomba no help you! You hurt Bomba!”), not to mention lots of shots of people pointing off-screen to TRADER HORN outtakes.
Anyway, those are the ones that come to mind at the moment.
Krull gets my vote too. I loved that flick and it is ripe for riffing.
I’d really like them to take on the incomprehensible Supergirl. That movie was trite.
Would like to see a Rifftrax riffing of HIGHLANDER II: THE QUICKENING. Also wouldn’t mind some sequels from MST3K’s past. Riffing the other DEATHSTALKER movies, also BRONZ WARRIORS (sequel was ESCAPE 2000), and LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK. Maybe ROBOTECH: THE MOVIE, if they can still riff a movie not legally available like the Star Wars Holiday Special.
Maybe for Cinematic Titanic, I wouldn’t mind a riff of the other MASTER NINJA movies. The first two are two of my most favorite Joel MST3K episodes. I’d love to seem them take another crack at Lee Van Cleef and Timothy Van Patten.
What I would pitch would be re-do’s of three movies that the majority of fans didn’t get to see. The Green Slime, Invaders from the Deep, and Revenge of the Mysterons.
I nominate a 1970s tv movie and failed pilot CITY BENEATH THE SEA. Produced and Directed by Irwin Allen it recycles props and actors from his other series. Pacifica the city beneath the sea is threated by a giant meteor heading right for it and a thieves after the US gold supply which has been moved here from Fort Know. Stuart Whitman, Robert Wagner, Rosemary Forsyth, Robert Colbert and as the president Richard Basehart.
For CT, I’d have to say “Galaxy of Terror” since it seems to have so much going for it:
– All-star B-movie cast, including Erin Moran, Ray Walston, before-they-were-famous Robert Englund and Sid Haig, not to mention a rare acting role from a pre-“Red Shoe Diaries” Zalman King!
– Decent-to-Actually Good design work courtesy of no less than James Cameron, with just the right amount of laughable low-budget stuff.
– Cheesy Sci-Fi/Horror setting.
– Funny character names.
– Utterly plotless, but decently paced.
Downside? Well, it depends on how you feel when you hear the term “sexual assualt by giant maggot.”
YOR: THE HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE!
just look at this trailer!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PWaJ6URRU0
It stars Reb “BigMcLargeHuge” Brown!
’nuff said!
Robo Vampire……Robocop rip off and chinese vampires. Too weird for words.
While reading through everyones posts, I thought of a few, but really could not decide which franchise would be the best pick to riff them- both teams could bring the laughs with any of them.
1. “Slithis”: The only thing I really remember about this late 1870s film was I saw it at the drive-in, it featured some lame creature created by toxic waste, and it was really bad!
2. “C.H.U.D. 2”: featuring the character Bud the CHUD, who appeared to get his inspiration from Heathcliff of “The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman”.
3. “Beast From the Haunted Cave”: One or both of the Corman brothers were in on this one, and “It Stinks!”
4. “Wild Guitar”: featuring Arch Hall Sr. and Jr., and Ray Dennis Steckler. ‘Nuff said!
5. “The Navy Vs. the Night Monsters”: 1950s monster cheese with the navy fighting tree monsters, if I remember correctly.
It was the 1970s for “Slithis”, sorry (although it would have been just as bad back then too!)
Speaking of Caroline Munro movies (“Starcrash”, “At the Earth’s Core”) one could add “Slaughter High” and “Maniac” (1980).
Oh, and then there are these two John Saxon “classics”:
http://image.xyface.com/image/b/movie-blood-beach/blood-beach-147643.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0ZTuR5_GI7o/TeSro5BHg8I/AAAAAAAAAmk/7xeurwmqlqI/s1600/qob2.jpg
My friend and I used to watch SLITHIS on VHS back in the day (early 90’s) and we referred to him always as SLITHIS: THE ROAST BEEF MONSTER because, well, he looked like he was made of roast beef, smothered in a rich sauce. Fun movie, good times.
Speaking of man-in-suit-monsters, I saw part of OCTOMAN (1976) on the THIS! Channel recently. The charmingly goofy monster is on full display, as most of the attacks happen in full daylight. Bold move!
Speaking of the THIS! Channel, I also saw most of Bert I Gordon’s EMPIRE OF THE ANTS recently. The rear projection is classic Mr. BIG, and the giant ant puppets that some of the actors “fight” with are awesome. Fun stuff.
VOODOO BLACK EXORCIST might be too, um, naughty for the troupes –If I remember right, there’s bare breasts and possibly a rape scene– but it begs for mockery, having not only an extended flashback featuring white actors in blackface as African tribesmen but an astonishing moment where a man attacks a woman and the entire film crew is clearly visible reflected in the mirror behind them.
Oooh, so many choices. The firat thing that popped into my head was “Slugs:The Movie” an 80s gore flick from the director of Pod People. It also has the white haired Leslie Nielson guy from Pod people, and the guy who played Brian, Rick’s friend who gets killed in the cabin. It’s not a terrible movie, but I can see this being made fun of. There’s also The Hideous Sun Demon, The Mighty Peking Man, The Navy vs The Night Monsters, and so much more.
The first film that comes to mind is what could be consider the Upper Midwest’s Manos or Blood waters of DR. Z., it is a low budget 1983 monster movie called Bog. Wisconsin redneck/backwoods/hillbilly accidently awakens a prehistoric humaniod Crayfish/Bass monster while fishing with TNT in a deep woods pond/lake. The creature starts attacking people for thier blood to feed/help create it’s eggs. And it’s up to the sheriff and local scientists to figure out what is going on and how to stop it. There’s also an old gyspy woman that no one seems to know how old she really is and may have a special link with the creature. Plus, it has a really cheese opening/closing song.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077254/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1KSUtLwh3A
I meant “first” not firat, lol.
RiffTrax – League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Citizen Kane
Cinematic Titanic – War of the Gargantuas, Monster That Challenged the World and Zontar, The Thing From Venus
This one had Robert Quarry, best known for his “Count Yorga” movies(and Agent for H.A.R.M.).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIDEwbXSXyA&feature=related