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Weekend Discussion Thread: MSTed Movie to Broadway?Longtime MSTie Charlie asks:
Hey, if “Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark” can be wrestled into acceptable form, lots of other movies might be adapted. My pick would be “Teenagers from Outer Space.” You got the sensible heroine, the misunderstood hero, the wacky grandpa and the terrifying lobster creatures! I smell a hit! What’s your pick? 121 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: MSTed Movie to Broadway?”Commenting at Satellite News
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Without reading any other comments: MANOS, The Hands of Fate! Can’t wait to see who would play Torgo!
Thinking outside the box here,
5 WORDS:
EARTH VS. SOUP: THE MUSICAL.
I think it would be FAAAABulous!!
The Wild Wild World of Batwoman is such a terrible movie it could only be improved by a musical treatment. Its got the over the top characters and garish costumes already going for it, all it needs are some Elton John/Bernie Taupin (sp?)numbers. This one was such a stinkburger that even the MST treatment does not make it watchable, but maybe as a Broadway musical it would not be so painful…
I was thinking “The Deadly Bees”, it already has a bit of music and heroine is a singer. On the other hand, it would be hard to train that many bees to stay out of the audience and the hag wouldn’t be allowed to smoke in the theater. The latter is a deal-breaker. Never mind.
“MANOS: THE MUSICAL OF FATE”!
Michael Crawford is The Master!
Susan Boyle is Torgo!
Cabbage Patch Elvis #46, What about Captain TORCHA?!
Torgo sings (barbra streishand/send in the clowns mode) the touching “Where is my hand…where is my hand…”
The Master (Rockabilly mode): “With my red velvet lining I’m a real cool cat
Got seventeen slave girls, imagine that
My hound dog wanders into the night
I got that family man tied up nice and tight”
The wives (Diamonda Galas meets Mormon Tabernacle Choir mode): “The child, yes! The child, no! The child, yes! the child, no!”
Hey, anyone want to write this thing with me?
“YES!” “NO!” “YES!” “NO!” “YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!” “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Red Zone Cuba, especially for the showstopping numbers “You Shove Off (No, YOU Shove Off!)” and “I’m Cherokee Jack.”
How about “The Amazing Colossal Man”? Can you imagine Glen camping it up in Vegas? Oh, the show tunes!
Re # 40 Castle Monster: “Well, I guess Squirm would present some serious technical challenges”
This just in:
A thousand pounds of gummy worms were delivered to Folly Theatre on 42nd st. today. Manhattan candy stores all report themselves “seriously depleted.” Tomorrow is the opening of Broadways first musical to mix Hip Hop and Bluegrass, called “Da’ Worm Face.”
MST3K: The Musical would be so epic! But as far as individual movies go… what about “Daddy-O?” That “I’m-Singing-the-Menu Song” would sure sell lots of refreshments at intermission! =D
@AgentMom: Believe it or not, there IS a Santa Clause Vs. The Martians play! Oh, what is this world coming to? LOL
#61 losingmydignity:
Ha! It’s on! And that might be a better title if you don’t want the audience to expect singing worms. But I just want to see the word SQUIRM: THE MUSICAL lighting up a Broadway marquee.
#53 hellokittee:
But what would Wild World of Batwoman: The Musical be about? :/
I would like to see a tribute to the music of Albert Glasser. There could be a production number featuring themes and characters from each of the MSTed movies his music was featured in (e.g. “The Amazing Colossal Man”, “Beginning of the End” etc.), all tied together by the Billy Crystal narration (like he used to do at the beginning of the Oscar broadcasts he hosted). The audience would be “pummeled into submission” by the end!
Stay cool, everyone! See ya!
Isn’t The Magic Voyage of Sinbad already a musical? Quest of the Delta Knights wins for me.
Two choices noone else seems to have thought of yet:
1) ROBOT MONSTER: Small cast, limited sets, and Ro-Man’s ‘I Cannot, Yet I Must!’
2) SANTA CLAUS: Though I see it as a combination of a TV Variety Special and a really sick pantomime.
Another number for MANOS: THE MUSICAL: ‘Where Is The Valley Lodge,’ a semi-operatic number with the moron hero, his vacuous wife, and Little Debbie each getting to sing their frustration and despair at being stuck on a long car trip with these idiots
Hey, Laserblast and The Incredible Melting Man would be pretty bitching on stage.
HOBGOBLINS! “Fish Picker” deserves a second chance, if nothing else. And hey, they made Xanadu happen—surely they can follow that with a musical full of songs about doing a lot of coke and voting for Ronald Reagan.
Wouldn’t mind seeing ANGELS REVENGE shining its love all over the Great White Way either. Action heroines in white jumpsuits, cheesy disco-tastic group numbers, Trish’s inevitable “On My Own”-style solo…I’m as good as in the Will Call line for that one.
Coming soon, to a Broadway theatre near you (except if you live in Des Moines), may I present:
“Design For Dreaming: The Musical”
It’s the heartrending story of a woman who finds her life slowly turning into one giant commercial after another. After several moving musical numbers such as “Kitchen of the Future” and “Sometimes A Sunhat is just a Sunhat”, she finds true love with the American carmaker of her choice…
If there’s a Horror of Party Beach stage musical, will it feature Elaine’s moaning toward the end?
Catalina Caper
Manos!
“TIME OF THE APES : THE MUSICAL” Starring Troy McClure! D’OH!!! The Simpsons did it!!!
The Incredible Melting Man: The Musical!
Featuring “Hotchka!”, “I’m Doctor Ted Nelson”, and so much more!
Oh, imagine the song for the old, horny couple.
@2 – Not a bad idea at that. :) This Island Earth included.
I second TISCWSLABMUZ.. picture it, a whole song of acronyms!
@ #63 Castle Monster- LOL, the the true spirit of the film, the musical production of The Wild Wild World of Batwoman will also be about absolutely nothing.
Hey, if “Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark” can be wrestled into acceptable form
Oh, and I assume everyone by now has seen the Mad Magazine (or current fraud existing under that name) article on “Similarities/Differences between the Afghan War and the Spiderman Musical?”:
“Similarities:
– Poorly choreographed
– Millions of dollars poured into a losing battle
– No exit strategy in sight
– Symbolic act of American hubris
– Costs rising as casualties mount daily
– Waged mostly by disillusioned twentysomethings
– Leadership replaced midstream during mismanaged campaign
– Bono saddened about the whole thing
Differences:
– Audience paying close attention to the debacle: Spiderman musical
– Will still be around in 2013: Afghan war”
Outlaw The Musical. “Cabot Oh Cabot!”
“Missed Call!”
Santa Claus the Musical Would be great also. The Pitch dancer would be great.
How About: Puma Man? It seems like most of the story and characters are from the stage anyway.
the sensitive hero “Trent” or whatever his name is.
I see flying sequences that rival those done by Cathy Rigby in “Peter Pan”! (Puma mans costumes as well!)
A Shaved head Simon whats his name from American Idol could fill in for The Donald Plesance role?
Can you imagine the haunting “Puma Man” theme song polished up for a Broadway orchestra lead by Andrew Lloyd Webber?
I’d go with Red Zone Cuba, but it’s already been done from what I’ve read.
So then I’ll go with Girl in Gold Boots.
I’ll also take The Film Crew’s Killers from Space.
For a short, I’ll go with Days of our Years.
I can just see Manos the Musical. During scene changes they can push a car out with that couple that have nothing to do with the movie and have them sing a verse of some nonsense that put together is an actual song.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is another one I can easily see as a musical.
Even better would be The Killer Shrews. Since most of the scenes involve them in one room drinking, imagine how little it would cost!
Any mention of Godzilla or Gamera the musical and all I think of is Reptar on Ice from Rugrats.
@#52 – Earth vs. Soup the Musical! SCORE!
All the best answers are taken, so I’ll toss my hat into the ring with “Legend of Boggy Creek II – The Musical.” Crenshaw’s bravado performance and the show-stopping “I saw the little creature!” should rank this right up there with “Springtime for Hitler.”
Boggy Creek II does have the mysterious/misunderstood creature/monster element. I shudder to think of a musical version of that couple’ encounter (Sears-Roebuck). That sends deep shudders, let me tell you.
Monster A-Go Go The Musical! Watch him go, go, go! He rocks, he rolls, he’s the hippest thing ever to land from outer space. Oh, wait, there was no monster, but they could have a song about that too.
Sidehackers The musical. It will have a track, kind of like Starlight Express.
@ # 86: More like Midnight Express, Sidehackers is one dark movie.
(JC pushes naked chest against prison glass): Oh, Rommel!!!! I tried to show you the way!!!!!
MITCHELL: The Musical
Overture/Opening: “Awww, why’d you wake me? It took so long to make me/ go to sleep lately… Aww, why’d you wake me?”
2nd act: “I don’t pay for your hookers!”
Climax: “Throw me a shotgun!”
Finale: “All is right, all is well, find the damsel, throw her in the cell…”
So! Yeah…
MST3K already virtually turned Gamera into a musical. Just use the music from the MST3K episode sketches like the “Gamera song”, Tibby, Oh Tibby and the concept of the Gameradamerung opera to write some more songs and get a full musical out of it. It would be great seeing singing and dancing characters in those monster costumes too.
I have to go with Amazing Colossal Man.
The scene in the tent, where he asks what sin a man could commit to be punished this way, pure ALW gold. It would rival Phantom.
And when Carol laments he life and what happened to her love, not a dry eye in the house.
But the big song would have to be the scientist in the lad.
“One cell, one little cell,
a cell that makes up,
the heart of our hero,
That one cell, it grows exponentially . . . . “
I smell Tony already
Four words: Zoo Animals on Wheels.
Back on Topic, I think Track of the Moon Beast would make a great transition to the stage. The Band That Sung California Lady would appear at the beginning of every Act, and the fish-lipped guy would sing some exposition to us, as troubador/narrators. And, during intermission, they would serve a delicious stew in the lobby. It would feature corn, onion, chicken, peppers… The tenor from the Doctor’s Chorale would sing a touching version of “We’ll Let You in on Your Illness This Time.” And for a finale, a groovy laser-light show as Lizard King Paul explodes in a rainbow of color.
It’s not ideal for a musical but I’d watch it-
PHANTOM PLANET: THE MUSICAL
Starring Chris Pine as Frank Chapman, Steve Carell as Lt. Ray Makonnen, Andy Serkis as the Solarite, Ian McKellan as Sessom, Morena Baccarin as Zetha, Rebecca Romijn as Liara, maybe Colin Farrel as Herron. Some casting changes could be made but I could be on IMDb for hours so this’ll do for now. The ‘good and beautiful’ speech would definitely be the basis for a song.
Excellent weekend topic. I mentioned it to some MSTie friends today and their imagination and memories gushed.
Some of these have been suggested, but here’s their list…
Girl’s Town (I sugested adding an appearance by The Robot Monster for sci fi effect).
Daddy-O
Day the Earth Froze (Sampo!)
Manos, of course, with a new ending of redemption.
Prince of Space (the costumes would be great).
The Amazing Colossal Man (featuring the song “Take a Big, Steaming Look”)
As well as several others already cited above…
I say Jan in the Pan, possibly Tormented.
My question is would the musical be riffed, and if so: how?
Someone’s got to write this show.
I may be mistaken, but don’t they already have MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE as a musical somewhere?…
Racket Girls. Half-naked women throwing each other around the ring set to music? Pure gold!
I’d say Rocky Jones and his space adventures would make a good musical. Use flat cardboard cutouts for space ships to stay authentic to the movie (show).
Wow- NO ONE even considered Mr. B Natural for a second? How perfect would that be? It’s already practically Peter Pan so it’d translate to stage really well. I picture Mary Lou Retton in the iconic role as Mr. B and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as slacker Buzz. Songs would need to be written. How about, “Why is my kid such a dud?”, “The Spirit Of Music Is In Everyone”, “Mr. B- Why Do I Feel Funny When I’m Around You?” and “Let me touch your clef with my staff”.
C’mon, people, you’re phoning these in.
Now, stand back: HUMAN DUPLICATORS.
It writes, casts, costumes and choreographs itself:
Dr. Kolos – Robert Van Winkle in built-up boots, the exact same costume as Richard Kiel, maybe go for Bride of Frankenstein hair. If you can’t see Vanilla Ice clomping out a show-stopper with the Dupli-Kats backing up him, doing amazing moves side-to-side in big shoes with a an eight-inch rise, you’re COMATOSE!
Lisa Dornheimer – Dolores Faith was ALREADY the hottest thing on MST, here and in Phantom Planet–her spotlight number, The Blind Ballerina, an absolute vision of grace, airy elegance, knocks over a vase, floats up the staircase, stage-dive onto Dr. Kolos’ shoulder extensions. WE’RE TALKING TONY TIME, LADIES.
Seriously, look at the cast, look at the characters: George Nader, Hugh Beaumont, Barbara Nichols. A DEAD GUY could knock out the script over a weekend.
I want points.
#99 I thought you just hadn’t looked closely enough. I searched. You’re right. Unreal.
I’ve got Justin Bieber as Mr. B Natural and Juliette Lewis as the kid.