• The title character in episode 107- ROBOT MONSTER. You can’t ignore an iconic bad monster.
• The the eye creatures in episode 418- ATTACK OF THE THE EYE CREATURES. If they attack you, just knock the heads off, since they seem to be draped casually on their shoulders.
• The title character in episode 606- THE CREEPING TERROR. The music is scary, I admit, but this is another one of those monsters where the victim pretty much has to actively climb into the monster’s mouth.
• Ortega in episode 812- THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES. Actually seems like a pretty cool guy.
• The title characters in episode 907- HOBGOBLINS. Any monster you can drop kick into the next county doesn’t seem that fearsome.
Honorable mention: MITCHELL. The love scene was monstrous.
Oh and I didn’t include the monster in epiosode 421- MONSTER A-GO-GO because there WAS no monster.
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I will fight the man that disagrees with the shadow lobster from “Teenagers from Outer Space”!!! :)
Torgo’s a monster. What’s goofier than big knees?
Then there’s Eegah. Oh wait, he’s not a monster, he’s just a giant. There’s a big difference.
How about the Gary-Spider guy from Horrors of Spider Island? Not much of a monster. Just a guy with bad make-up.
The Solarite in 902-PHANTOM PLANET. Richard Kiel’s the biggest star in that film and he’s in a goofy, bulky costume that can barely allow him to move. The huge googly eyes do nothing for the monster’s menace.
Torgo – Manos The Hands of Fate – – Big knees! Good! Go with it!
The Robot Monster – Robot Monster – Guy in a gorilla suit with a diving helmet.
Guiron – Gamera vs. Guiron – Must have taken all of a minute to come up with a knife-headed monster.
Eye Creatures – Attack of the Eye Creatures – Or rather attack of the Eye Creature head pieces.
It – It conquered the World – A giant pickle. Nuff said.
Are you guys forgetting “Horror at Party Beach?
Horror At Party Beach – no contest. Cookie Monster shoves an entire pack of hot dogs in this mouth. And you can see the zipper on some of them.
Dishonorable mention to the failed experiment guy in The Brain (Head) That Wouldn’t Die.
Gaos in Gamera vs. Gaos was pretty ridiculous, he couldn’t even move his neck! And the scientists set up this silly spinning blood fountain, and he falls for it! And all of the spiders in The Giant Spider Invasion were super-goofy, so were all the actors come to think of it.
the first character that came to mind is Torgo from [424] ‘Manos- the Hands of Fate’ of course. he does look like a chain-saw sculpture. the Master himself qualifies, too; he always reminds me of one of those older guys that hang around in dance clubs trying to lasso a young Goth person. they always have some kind of well-paying IT job by day.
how about Gamera? though he’s goofy, I love him. he may be ugly, but he’s fast! and he is somehow very sweet. it must have been absolute hell for the guy lugging those pounds of rubber shell around. Guiron [312] is probably his goofiest opponent- there must have been some potent sake swilled the day he was born. ‘I know, I know- they made me in a hurry!’
[311]- Zontar the Vlasic pickle monster from ‘It Conquered the World.’ no matter how many times I watch this episode, his entrance onto our world always cracks me up anew. ‘I think the monster is gonna be goofy…’ this supposed super-being of a race of intellectually advanced nine from Venus communicates with Radio Shack farts and gives birth to vampiric flying Wham-O softball gloves. then, he falls over.
[406]- the Giant Leeches. garbage bags and latex. death by a giant hickey. roll camera!
[407]- the Shrews from ‘The Killer Shrews’. doggies are augmented with bathmats and stuff, chew through walls, and frighten the cocktails out of one’s hand. if only they had had a ‘Shrew Whisperer’ on the island. the shrews could have done tricks to the tune of Dixieland jazz!
[701]- Blood Beast from ‘Night of the Blood Beast.’ a mutant space parrot monster that impregnates astronauts with peel and eat shrimp spawn? GOOD, GO WITH IT! I love when he mind-melds with the boring doctor, bringing him to another level of goofy.
[704]- Incredible Melting Man. the monster that leaves keep-sake dribbly bits of himself in his wake. eeeyeww! love the lemon-thieving couple and their antics before their gooey demise. so delightfully awful-silly. the poor Man meets his inevitable fate and is disposed of ignominiously in a garbage can. ‘Ted- Nelson- Nel-son- Nelson…’
[810]- Giant Spider of ‘Giant Spider Invasion.’ one of my all-time favorite classic MST3K moments, when the ‘VW in chenille’ spider- who devours cracker farmers with his butt- rises over a hill, his silver dome eyes glinting, and brings us the joyous sight of middle aged Drs. Langer and Vance rolling, polyester legs entwined, down the slope in horror.
[818]-Devil Doll. goofy, but still unnerving. I get the willies anew every time at the scene where Hugo sits inertly in his cage while Tom Servo makes little sighing noises. Hugo sits- and sits- and then- his eyes slide over so creepily. eep!
[1007]- Moon Beast from Track of the Moon Beast. how often can does guy in a lizard costume come with such wonderful baggage? an implausible Indian legend [‘how do you set fire to your own back?’] of a lizard that walks like a man, shown as a slide show- ‘I know what you’re thinking-‘ ‘I’m boring, and my slide show EATS’; a Who-bearded monotone ‘paleontologist’ who cites a child’s drawing of a T. Rex [with the classic pear shape]; a hospital full of mumbling doctors who are loathe to discuss the patient’s illness with him- one of whom, thanks to Tom Servo, delivers one of my favorite MST3K lines ever- ‘what up, bitch?’ a parade of ridiculousness! the poor guy does get a tawny girlfriend with a tawny car, but he dies frugging, glowing with Moon Beast-ness. ‘onions- green peppers- chicken- Velveeta- hair…’
I second Zontar. Worst …monster…ever
I also submit the monster that never was…the “there was no monster” from Monster A Go-Go.
Now how did I miss Monster A Go-Go in the original post??? Old age, I guess. :sad:
I have to toss Tor Johnson in here. Technically not a monster (unless you count Beast of Yucca Flats), but anyone who can play the same character for multiple mystied movies has to hold a warm place in my heart….
Plus he’s huge, if I did not nominate him he’d beat me to a pulp….
How about Scrotor the mutant from This Island Earth? The thing’s wearing slacks, for pete’s sake! Pretty lame.
Oh, and I definitely agree with the Hobgoblins and the Giant Spider :)
Don’t forget This Island Earth:
the mutANTs (gotta say it correctly) – bugs in slacks that only know how to 1) stand around, 2) backhand people with their claws (they can’t even use them correctly), and 3) dissolve.
and of course, Brack. He’s just wacky.
oops! forgot the ‘monster’ from [1005] ‘The Bloodwaters of Dr. Z.’ this poor guy is so inept. a classic loner shut-in who despises humanity- I feel ya, buddy- he puts immense effort into building a laboratory in which to convert himself into the perfect aquatic being. he even devises a huge pie-chart of his demonic goals- he seems quite organized- and ticks them off, one by one. yet this poor fellow seems to be able to get nothing right. for awhile, clad in a cumbersome fish guise that proves difficult to see out of [watch him stumble and bump into things] he prowls the swamps, his handy squirt bottle of transmogrifying fluid that does- pretty much nothing. but he’s on the job! he even steals an attractive gal for his fish-bride. somehow, it all goes horribly, horribly wrong. he is almost at his goofiest as he storms the barely stocked ‘drug store’ in search of chemical aid. his opposition are incredibly inept at best [dune buggy problems, even], yet they harass him to the beach, where there is some kind of a- happy?- ending as he and his canisters reach the water, trailed by the fishified gal. goofy, yes. however, this movie does bring us a beloved character, ‘Invisible Cracker Mom.’ poor Dr. Z! ‘ah, squeege. I love you…’
No contest, really. The Creeping Terror was absolutely the lamest monster, no matter how you define it. A moving carpet humping a car? Yeah, okay.
But there was also the monster from Fire Maidens from Outer Space, with his vague menace and grunts.
The She Creature was absurd as well, as were the Neptune Men. And the Teenage Werewolf was pretty silly; hard to take a drooly werewolf wearing a letter jacket seriously (though his hair WAS perfect).
The carpet monster in “The Creeping Terror” is tops on the list, but we mustn’t forget the dogs, I mean Giant Shrews in “The Killer Shrews”, or the Giant Venutian Pickle in “It Conquered the World.”
Does the Avocado Man from “Robot Holocaust” count as a monster?
Have to agree about the Creeping Terror. I’m not sure which is more hilarious, the folk singer whacking it with his guitar and then falling down or the crowd at the dance patiently waiting their turn to be slurped up.
And while they’re not monsters, which is more terrifying, Crow’s striptease or Brain Guy’s
erotic dance to save Mrs. Forester’s mad scientist credentials?
I’m going to go off script here, I think the goofiest monster was Peaches from Racket Girls! Man, she creeped me out!! :wink: just kiddin.
I think we need to mention The Blood Waters of Dr. Z. That monster that Dr. Z turned into (did it have a name??) was uber goofy. He’s a huge monsterous catfish!! Well… a fish that walks on two legs.. has no fins… no gills.. has a face like a boar… wears fur… doesn’t seem to swim too well either.. but he’s a fish! He has to use the hand rail to walk down the stairs, you could see the monster trip at least twice in the film and he swims around in the lake spraying a little spray bottle of gosh-knows-what for no apparent reason. That’s pretty darn goofy!
All of the above are great nominees. The monsters from “Horror at Party Beach” look like they have arrived at Coney Island just in time for the hot dog eating contest. I would also suggest the Krankor monster from “Prince of Space” that looks like Roos Perot on a massive diet of Twinkies and pork rinds. One also cannot forget the many incarnations of “Werewolf” – slimy hand puppet, Gentle Ben, wereworm, werewaiter, and so on ad nausem. I’d also suggest “Track of the Moon Beast”, but as it was set and partially filmed in Albuquerque, it brings too much shame to my hometown.
Hamlet, goofiest monster from Denmark, ever.
Randy
Just some that pop to mind:
I certainly have to agree with the alien shadow lobster from “Teenagers from Outer Space.”
Then there’s the utterly immobile atomic octopus in “Bride of the Monster.”
And the also utterly immobile titular “Hobgoblins.”
While those were a simple matter of (no) budget, I can’t imagine what made the makers of “The Phantom Planet” think the puppy dogs from hell were the least bit frightening.
And although I don’t know if they count as “monsters,” the shell-less space turtles from “Laserblast” were certainly hella goofy.
The hot dog face from “Horror of Party Beach” gets my vote. Followed closely by “The Creeping Terror”.
1. The Creeping Terror. Considering how slow it moved, no one in the movie should have been eaten by the Creeping Terror.
2. Giant Spider from The Giant Spider Invasion. Some people dress their dogs for Halloween. Some dress their VW Beetles. the giant spider was so poorly made and completely unbelievable. The only time it actually looked any good was when it was melting at the end of the movie.
3. The werewolves from Werewolf. The most inconsistent movie monster make up, ever. At times the werewolves look like bears. Other times they look like bats. Sometimes they even look like Don Imus and Neil Young.
4. Solarites from The Phantom Planet. The very definition of “goofy”.
5. Hobgoblins. They are obviously hand puppets. They are also rip-off of Gremlins and Critters.
6. Dr. Z Fishman from The Blood Waters of Dr. Z. “Nothing at all like the catfish!” You got that right pal. If they had to make a fish-man costume for the movie, why not just make it look like it’s covered in scales? Why was he all encrusted? Is he meant to look like a coral reef? And, after that monologue in which he admired deadly fish his true ambition was too look like a catfish!?
Actually, the real monsters from “The Creeping Terror” are the musicians in the band that played that cheesy dance music. A lot of it was eerily reminiscent of the theme music of the original “Hollywood Squares” from the ’60’s. I can’t hear the music without thinking of Rose Marie….
Let’s not forget Trumpy from “Pod People”. Although the nose that doubles as a vacuumm would come in handy. :smile:
1. The carpet monster from “The Creeping Terror”.
2. The pickle monster from “It Conquered the World”.
3. The The Eye Creatures from “Attack of the the Eye Creatures”.
The others just weren’t trying hard enough to be goofy.
I’d say the main characters in the Lippert films were pretty monsterous.
Agree with Sampo on all his picks, and all of the respondents.
I’d also add that robot from The Phantom Creeps shorts. You can make your robot look anyway you it to, so Bela makes his with the ugliest face ever conceived. I guess if his idea is just to scare people with his robot, it makes sense.
Still, it definitely pushes the goofy meter.
I never realized how much I had in common with Dr. Z until I read Dames’ post above!
But, I have to go with Creeping Terror. Really lame monster.
I have great affection for Gamera. He’s neat and filled with turtle meat and he likes to help the kids out, oh yah.
1. The gargons in “Teenagers from Outer Space.”
2. The Creeping Terror, who “looks like a bad Chinese dragon.” (“Oh my God, it’s my Dad!”)
3. The Killer Shrews.
4. The “giant” grasshoppers running around on postcards in “The Beginning of the End.” (But Peter Graves with his hands in his pockets is TRULY terrifying!)
5. It doesn’t really count, but Ed Platt disguised as a priest in “The Rebel Set.”
I vote for Trumpy. His appearance was goofy, in a vaguely ALF-like way, but it was really the bizarre “circus carnival” music whenever he “magicked” things that really pushed him over the top.
Well, unfortunately I don’t think Gloria from The Sinister Urge counts as a monster, though she’s certainly goofy and menacing. So with her eliminated (eeeeew!), let’s see what we’re left with:
1.) The Dragon (from The Sword and the Dragon) — Goofy because he (she?) is the titular character, and yet doesn’t appear until the last ten minutes of the film, just in time for him/her to prove his/her complete ineffectiveness! Also because the poor thing’s necks are totally unarticulated, so they can only swing back and forth on a horizontal axis. That’s one goofy monster.
2.) The Gorgons (from Teenagers from Outer Space) — Also known as “the shadow lobsters,” these fellas nearly tip the scales with goofiness. After all that talk of using Earth as a grazing ground for the fearsome Gorgon herd, the durn things finally show up and they’re just crustacean silhouettes! Someone pick ’em out of the tank and make me a bisque. :roll: Please…
3.) Trumpy (from Pod People) — “Trumpy, you can do magic things!” Perhaps not technically a monster (an alien, really, and not particularly scary or at all menacing), but nevertheless goofy. Basically all he did was eat and produce stop-motion animation. What really ups his goofy factor though is Crow’s brilliant Elephant Man-at-a-buffet impersonation: “Oh, little winged potatoes! These potatoes have big ears…” One of the show’s finer moments.
4.) The Guardian/Gatekeeper/Ross Perot-with-a-facial-deformity Monster (from Prince of Space) — From his Joe Cocker-like movements to, well, his whole appearance (he looks like someone shoved Baragon into the skin of Jimmy Durante), this thing just didn’t stand a chance. Although, truth be told, he was only moderately less effectual than his Krankor overlords.
5.) Torgo (from Manos: The Hands of Fate) — Yes, he’s a monster. Yes, he’s kinda goofy (mainly because of those knees). Adding him to this list gives me pause, though. For all of his bizarre tics and inflated calves, there actually is something genuinely affecting about his presence in MST3K’s most infamous experiment. Perhaps it’s because of the sad back story concerning John Reynolds. Whatever the cause, Torgo almost transcends goofiness to become a genuine object of sympathy and pathos. Then again, there’s still those goofy knees…
I agree with everything said so far but here’s two more that haven’t been mentioned yet:
The Robot from SANTA CLAUSE CONQUERS THE MARTIANS – “it’s just a guy with an upside-down coffee urn on his head”
The Velour Snake God from CAVE DWELLERS – “anal retentive snakes. Look they lined up the skulls.”
And does Pitch count? He’s pretty goofy…
People, people…how can you ALL miss the most important goofy monster in the entire history of MST3K.
From “Boggy Creek 2”, obviously.
…and I don’t mean the Boggy Creek creature or its kid, I mean Crenshaw.
I mean, the thing wore a rubber band around his head!
The monster for horror at party beach are goofy and nothing else. The solarite and killer shrews take a close second. Throw in hobgoblins for third. In the fourth spot is gary (the half spider) and the 2 pauls (projected man and werewolf). Just love it when the monsters have such bland names.
Watch out for snakes
There are too many to name, but here goes:
Torgo – Giant knees and a hair fetish. Gross.
Krankor’s Glen-or-Glenda Giant – I order you to wander aimlessly and gain weight.
The Hot Dog Mutants – They’re the bastard children of Oscar-Meyer!
Hobgoblins – Damn you, Rick Sloane. Damn you.
The worms from Squirm – Thinly disguised spaghetti does not a monster make.
The Creeping Terror – Fat, loud and ponderous. If it were scary, it’d be Rosie O’Donnell.
The Pod People – Trumpy, you can do stupid things!
The “giant” stock footage octopus from Bride of the Monster. Since it was also made fun of in Ed Wood, it could be the most famous GMIAMM. But that’s another thread I s’pose.
I would have to say the “Ro-Man” from Robot Monster…. the first MST3K episode I ever saw (1989) on the Comedy Channel (along with Clutch Cargo and Rich Hall’s Onion World… and Nick Bakay’s Sports Monster)… and have been hooked since.
Hi-Keebah!!!!
Can any thing be more lamer than the carpet remnent monster in the creeping terror?
HeatUpTheDeathRay:
pardon my ignorance, but I didn’t know about the tragic end of John Reynolds. I respectfully withdraw my Torgo entry and offer in his place the Bat Monster in [1010] ‘It Lives By Night.’ apparently a bat/monkey hybrid, the creature possesses none of the talents of either bat or monkey. it can’t fly, and isn’t very nimble. instead, it has the ability to- uh, transmit– its uh, bat-ness to its wife by- uh- you know.
and John Reynolds, rest in peace. we’ll always have Torgo…
Trumpy’s too cute to be a monster.
The monster in Blood Waters of Dr. Z looks just like poop. Uncanny. I like the Mole People, but not when they were used as stock footage in Wild World of Batwoman. Although, thee goofiest monster must be the Shadow Lobsters from Teenagers from Outer Space. No substance, there!
The “little creature” from Boggy Creek II “Snap into a slim jim!!”
And Robot Monster.
The titular monster of “Creeping Terror” gets my vote.
Hey, if it landed right in Sunset Strip, he wouldn’t be out of place. Am I right here?
Oh, and we mustn’t forget MST3K’s Home Game … those hairy creatures looked too much like people….. naked people (BLEUH!)
The Giant Pickle from Venus in It Conquered the World. “I’m looking for the Frugal Gourmet!”
The “Robot” from Episode 102 “The Robot Vs. the Aztec Mummy”. That thing had no knees or elbows. My Grandma could outrun that thing in her walker.
Not sure if the googly-eyed guys from ‘Killers From Space’ count as monsters or villains, but if they count, they’re in.
I was actually going to pick the man who fell in his outhouse and had his poop hosed off, from ‘Boggy Creek II’, over Crenshaw. I know I watch that sequence from behind the sofa. (“Behind the Sofa” is C and TM Doctor Who, all rights reserved.)
Gor, from the Oozing Skull, deserves blame simply because they apparently thought their make-up job was so good, they could show it in close-ups, in broad daylight, in pretty much any sequence at any time and it wouldn’t be obvious that it was a guy in a bald cap with gum stuck to his face.
Shout out to the giant snake from “Cave Dwellers”.
“The The Eye Creatures”–obvious zippers and visible athletic shoes do not make a terrifying monster.
All the monsters named “Paul” turned out pretty goofy. Yu iz a mahnstuh, Pawl! :roll:
The guy with the monsterous eyebrows from “Projected Man”.
A little off the subject, but you gotta give props to Jan-In-The-Pan from “The Brain That Wouldn’t Die”. She was just a head, but she still managed to get things done! :mrgreen: