First, alert reader Luci writes:
Hollywood’s in a remake rut, it seems, so why not give them some new fodder to work with? There are many times while watching an episode that my roommates and I will think, “Hey, wouldn’t this be great if Peter Jackson directed it?” or, “Morgan Freeman would be awesome in this role!”
So, if you could re-cast and/or re-crew any MSTed movie, which one would you pick? For example: Michael Bay’s “Godzilla vs. Megalon” starring Jackie Chan as “Rex Dart”, Bruce Campbell as “Oscar Wilde”, and Keanu Reeves as “Jet Jaguar”.
Thinking along similar lines, alert reader Stacy writes:
I was thinking that if Hollywood were to try again to make a MST3K movie, they might be tempted to replace everyone with a more recognizable star. So here’s the question…if Hollywood were to recast our favorite riffers, who would you choose? Steve Martin as Dr. Forrester? Joel McHale as Mike Nelson? Let’s hear from the fans!
I kind of like the idea of Judd Apatow remaking “Being from Another Planet” with Michael Cerra in the Ben Murphy role and Jonah Hill in the Kevin Brophy role.
And what do we think of Patton Oswalt as Dr. Forrester? And Ryan Stiles as TV’s Frank? ‘Cause it’s all crazy and mixed up and wacky!
What would your picks be?
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Gary Oldman is Manos! the Hands of Fate
with Jack Black as Torgo.
Didn’t Hollywood remake an MST movie? Wasn’t “The Island” bascially “Parts: The Clonus Horror” with real stars?
“Teenagers from Outer Space”, starring Robert Pattinson as Derek, Kristen Stewart as Betty, Daniel Radcliff as Thor, and George Wendt as Gramps.
Actually, Patton Oswalt might be more suitable for TV’s Frank. With Colin Mochrie (or alternatively Greg Proops) in the Dr. Forrester role.
As for movie recasting, Philip Seymour Hoffman in any role played by Bruno VeSota. He’d have to pack on a few extra pounds, but he’s such a good actor, I think he’d be up for the challenge.
Laura: Yes, and the director ‘did the right thing,’ and sued the pants off of Universal, according to his DVD comments (very entertaining comments, too!).
Maybe ‘Squirm’ could be re-done as a commentary on environmental degredation… i.e., the entire cast and crew destroy Fly Creek out of sheer shame, before the worms have a chance to attack.
As for a replacement riffer, well – ‘guests’ have been part of the process for a long time, but I’d go with either Daniel Tosh (of Tosh.0) or the late Mitch Hedberg. Both are (were) edgy comics and I’d wager a dollar that they’d be quick-witted enough to keep up with the verteran riffers. As long as I’m reccomending dead people, I think Mark Twain might be great!
A Bollywood remake of “Eegah” with the WWE’s Great Khali in the title role.
Terror from the Year 5000 as a “ripped from the headlines” Law & Order episode. Does ‘I come from the future’ work as a successful defense for murder?
PS: Any chance of seeing This Day in MSTory for Oct. 9th? Or did both birth and death take a holiday today?
I always thought Kitten with a Whip had a solid premise that was submarined by it’s cast, except for Ann Margaret who was great as the psycho, Jody. Here’s my pitch: Denzel Washington as David Stratten, is running for President, comes home to find Lindsey Lohan as Jody in his house. Instead of milquetoast unthreatening preppies as Jody’s friends you cast some rappers, maybe Emminem, Bow wow and Ice Cube, with Lady Gaga as Jody’s friend, Midge, plus add another girl, played by Beyonce. Instead of being as exciting as a block of wood like John Forsythe was, Denzel kicks some ass in this version, and saves the day. Tell me you wouldn’t go see that!
As for re-casting the MST crew, how about Bill Murray as the human, named Joel Nelson or Mike Robinson :), Patton Oswalt as Servo / TVs Frank, Daniel Tosh as Crow / Dr. F., and Kathy Griffin as Gypsy.
It’s a bit late now but ten years ago you might easily have done an all-Red Green recasting of The Final Sacrifice with Patrick McKenna (“Harold”) as Troy, Bob Bainborough (“Dalton”) as burned-out hero Zap Rowsdower, Steve Smith (“Red”) as Mike Pipper, and Peter Keleghan (“Ranger Gord”) as Satoris. It probably would have been funnier than Duct Tape Forever.
Some years ago a fellow made a movie out of one of Ed Wood’s hitherto unproduced scripts, I Woke Up Early The Day I Died. I’ve never seen it although I’ve heard that the result wasn’t really entertaining. I bet, though, that there’s an unproduced Coleman Francis script or two at the bottom of a birdcage somewhere, crying out to be made into a movie. Or maybe Gus van Sant could do a shot-for-shot remake of The Beast of Yucca Flats (with Matt Damon and Casey Affleck as the “Desert Patrol” and George Steele as “The Beast”.)
Hobgoblins recasting:
The broom wielding army recruit— Kevin Kline
His slutty girlfriend— Jamie Lee Curtis
The frigid girl— Maria Aitkin
The old guard— John Cleese
Fantasia— Lady Gaga
pervert phone sex guy— Michael Palin
Club Scum waitress— Cynthia Cleese
Club Scum bouncer— Kevin Kline (double role)
Hobgoblin puppets— assorted muppets (led by Miss Piggy)
Ah, forgot! Obviously Bill Murray as the mc.
Nice fun topic! I’ve always thought The Brain that Wouldn’t Die could be great. David Lynch at the helm, starring Jeffrey Combs as the learing Dr. Bill, Sherilyn Fenn as the lovely Jan in the Pan, Crispin Glover as the quirky lab assistant, and Richard Kiel as Boog Powell, mainly because Tor Johnson had died by then.
They should do big budget remake of Parts: The Clonus Horror and cast Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansen, and Steve Buscemi — how could that POSSIBLY suck?
No No No. I don’t want any of the Riffers and MST3K characters replaced! Epic blasphemy!
I’d love to see a remake of The Projected Man. As long as they keep the “Sheila in her bra and panties” part. Not sure what actors I’d want in the remake, but possible candidates for Sheila: Christa Miller, Christina Riccia, Natalie Portman, Phoebe Cates, Sarah Chalke, Scarlett Johansson, Liz Vassey, Christine Chatelaine, Emily Hemshire, Eliza Coupe…. um… okay really any actress that I’d love to see in their underwear.
The Brain That Wouldn’t Die would make an interesting remake, with this cast:
Jan: Natalie Portman
Bill: Hayden Christenson
The model (forgot her name): Lauren Prepon
Closet Monster: Ryan Stiles
MST3K: The Movie:
Mike Nelson – Ryan Reynolds
Dr. Forrester – Kevin Kline
TV’s Frank (Because folks like TVs Frank so he’ll be in the movie!) – Philip Seymour Hoffman
Crow, Servo and Gypsy – Jim Henson Muppeteers with Kevin Kline as the voice of Crow, Hoffman as the voice of Servo and Helena Bonham Carter as Gypsy.
Manos recast:
Man: James Thewlis
Woman: Sharon Stone
Child: Dakota Fanning
Torgo: Michael Keaton
The Master: Gary Oldman
Directed by Guillermo Del Toro
MST3K Cast:
Joel: James Woods
Mike: Liam Neason
Tom: Alan Rickman
Crow: Norm McDonald
Gypsy: Frank Oz
Magic Voice: Tress Macnell
Forester: Brian Blessed
Frank: Dustin Hoffman
Ernhardt: Chris Penn
I know that Dakkota Fanning is now too old and Chris Penn is now too dead, but this is a dream casting.
#24: “Forester: Brian Blessed”
This one suggestion, all by itself, makes your dream casting the greatest thing ever.
Although “Mitchell” wasn’t all that long ago, how about:
Mitchell: Philip Seymour Hoffman
Call girl what’s-her-name: Rosamund Pike
Clueless Chauffeur: Will Ferrell
Guy Who Shoots Hispanic Burglar: Senator John McCain
Mob Boss: Joe Don Baker, in a surprise comeback role
Annoying Kid on Skateboard: Hailey Joel Osment when he was still a kid
Alternatively, I suggest remaking “The Final Sacrifice” using the entire cast of the Harry Potter movies. Think about it.
Remake “Space Travelers” with Val Kilmer, Tom Sizemore, Al Pacino, and Robert De Niro.
Mark Hamil as Dr Forrester and William Shatner as TV’s Frank.
I remember once trying to describe 1976’s “The Blue Bird” to a friend who hadn’t seen it–In which Fox had attempted to co-produce an all-star kiddie-musical with Russia’s Lenfilm Studios, as a international peace stunt.
Problem is, you say “kiddie fairytale” to a US producer and he pictures Mary Poppins; say it to a Russian, and he pictures “Magic Voyage of Sinbad”…You can imagine trying to make both movies at once.
Hence I ended up describing it as “Imagine Hollywood making a big-budget remake of Jack Frost”. I think that fits the header. :shock:
@2, 5 & 13: Yes, and the (Island) director ‘did the right thing,’ and sued the pants off of Universal, according to his DVD comments (very entertaining comments, too!).
According to his “Clonus” interview, the director claimed it was us good and smartypants MSTies who first tipped him off about the theft.
Give yourself a cookie for doing your good deed for the day. :)
Masi Oka is Kenny! I just imagined him in generic ball cap and little pants running through the country side, TAKE MY EYES AHHHHH!
#18
“Guy Who Shoots Hispanic Burglar: Senator John McCain”
==================================
And all because they didn’t build the dang fence. :mrgreen:
Michael Bay could do a remake of Space Mutiny. Of course, it would be in 3-D. Jason Statham could be the lead. Milla Jovovich as Cissy and Gary Oldman as John Phillip Law. Bruce Willis could play the Cameron Mitchell role.
Also worth considering is Eegah: 2010 with Mickey Rourke as Eegah.
“Also worth considering is Eegah: 2010 with Mickey Rourke as Eegah.”
====================================
Just picturing Kim Bassinger shaving him.
And once they send daddy home in the dune buggy….. :twisted:
(Picture could be subtitled: Yet Another 9 1/2 Weeks).
I Acuse My Parents with…Divine and John Waters as the parents. Robert Deniro as Charles Blake. Danny Devito as Al. Renee Zellweger as Kitty [meow]. And finally Keanu Reeves as Jimmy because theres nobody that can pull off STUPID like him!!!!! Gotta go now off to Jack Taylors beach house for the weekend!!!
Let’s go crazy and have fun with this one:
How about Quinton Terratino’s “Wild, Wild World of Batwoman” starring Uma Thurman as Batwoman, and Gary Oldman as Rat Fink (since the guy can do almost anything).
Peter Jackson’s “The Giant Spider Invasion” would be a mix of his old, comedy/horror sensibilities with the cgi prowess of King Kong and LotR. Nasa Scientist would be Gary Sinece, Barbara Hal’s character could be played by Kathy Bates, John Goodman would be the sheriff, and Andy Serkis would do motion capture for ALL the various cgi spiders in the film, natch!
Joss Wheton’s “Incredibly Strange Creatures…” would mix modern teens and pseudo-zombie hi-jinks at a creepy traveling carnival. Elizabeth Taylor makes a swan-song appearance as Madame Estrella, with James Franco in the Ray Dennis Steckler role..
And Finally,
Michael Bay brings us – Space Mutiny. Face it folks, there would be no story, just 2 hours of explosions in space….
A musical remake of Quest of the Delta Knights starring most of the cast of Glee and a few American Idol rejects. Directed by McG.
The hit song would be “I’m comiiiiinnggg!!”
Santa Claus Conquers The Martians. Will Ferrell as Droppo. I’ll work on the rest of the cast later, but it doesn’t really matter :)
Given how he’s already played a Joe Don Baker role before:
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is “Mittens”.
Mr B Natural reimagined by Tim Burke
Starring;
Buzz Wil Wheaton
Mr B Madonna
Buzz’s Dad Mr Whipple
Buzz/s Mom Kate Mulgrew
The idea of casting a movie where actors play Joel (or Mike), Kevin, Trace, etc. is horrendous and I don’t want to contemplate it. :shock:
Mystery Seinfeld Theater.
Jerry in the Joel / Mike role.
Kramer as Clayton Forrester.
Newman as TV’s Frank.
Kramer’s Mom as Pearl.
Elaine as Tom Servette.
George as Crow.
I got it. A bollywood remake of “Attack of the The Eye Creatures” complete with dance sequences!
or how about updating Daddy-O?
Phil Sandifer aka Daddy-O: John Mayer
Jana Ryan: Scarlett Johanssen
Butter Eating Sidney Chillas: clearly Phillip Seymour Hoffman
Bruce: John C. Reilley
and Sonny: Elijah Wood
Masterpiece!
Randy Johnson as one of the “cyborgs” and Jean Claude Van Damme as the “tool” from Future War…..nevermind, that could never work.
@31
I completely agree. There’s no way anyone could take the places of those much beloved characters. It goes against all laws of nature.
I’d love to see an animated remake of “Space Mutiny”, starring the characters of the TV show the Venture Brothers, featuring Brock Sampson as Beef Mclargehuge.
Remake Parts: The Clonus Horror with Ewen Mcgregor and Scarlett Johannson. Oh wait….
Host: Bruce Campbell
Mad Scientist: Jeffrey Combs
Sidekick: Andy Richter
Servo: Seth MacFarlane
Crow: James Roday
Gypsy: Wendy Robie
Magic Voice: Lori Allen
They should do a remake of “Outlaw” but as a comedy:
– Cabot: Owen Wilson
– Watney Smith: Rainn Wilson
– Telena: Kim Kardashian
– Xenos: Leslie Nielson
– Queen Lara: Amy Poehler (she could make the most of the “disgusting worm” line)
– Midget Hup: Wee-Man
– Marlenus: Kris Kristofferson
A remake of ‘Wild World Of Batwoman’ with Lady GaGa in the lead role. Hell, she probably has a weird-ass bat costume already lying around somewhere.
MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000:
THE BEGINNING
Spencer Holtz…………..Joel Robinson
Seth Rogen……………..Tom Servo
Trace Beaulieu………………..Crow T. Robot
Gary Oldman……………Dr. Clayton Deborah Susan Forrester
Jonah Hill……………….Dr. Lawrence Erhardt
Nick Frost………………’TV’s Frank
Diedrich Bader………….Gypsy Rose
Amy Pohler……………..Magic Voice
Lisa Lampanelli…………Pearl Forrester
Simon Pegg……………..Mike Nelson
The Mystery Science Theater concept would not work with anybody else in any of the roles.
That side of this weeks discussion seems to be an exercise in flogging a dead horse.
The idea of anybody else (current or past) filling in the shoes of Joel, Mike, the Mads, and the Bots is an idea that leaves a distinctly bad taste on my mouth.
Tastes like pennies.
I think my MST3K movie casting choice was rather reasonable, while most others took the silly approach to their lists.
How about “Pod People” with the cast of “GLEE”?
And Justin Bieber as Bad Trumpy.
(Because he gets shot)
Also:
One word: SHARKTOPUS!
And another word: Lawsuite
(Yes I know that’s two words but it’s not as funny)
Has anyone mentioned this before?
And can Riff Trax do a commentary for Shartopus?
#41, man, that has to be one of the most vulgaer lineups ever! The language off that cast would merit an X rating for sure!
@MikeK post43: I think my choices were reasonable as well and were not intended to be silly. Campbell is NOT a Hollywood insider who makes a fun, loveable everyman, Jeffrey Combs is the ultimate mad scientist of our time, and Seth MacFarlane brings a singing voice that can match that of Kevin Murphy.
Dr. Forrester: Christofer Walken or Anthony Hopkins
TVs Frank: the key is the Marlon Brando as Jor-el in Superman haircut. Nick Nolte, Gary Busey or possibly Jon Voight
Pearl Forrester: Cloris Leachman
Brain Guy: Gary Oldman
BoBo: Ron Perlman
Joel/Mike: All I can think of is William H Macy though I have a hard time picturing him making fun of movies
#18 “Philip Seymour Hoffman as Mitchell” – Good casting
I could really enjoy J.J. Abrams’s Escape 2000 (we’ll have to increment the number a bit), starring:
Karl Urban – Trash/Valerie Bertinelli
Nancy Pelosi – the devil/vampire woman
Gerard Butler – Strike
Bruce Willis (with hair) – Henry ‘Rent-a’ Silva
(a young) John Travolta – Toblerone
Donald Pleasence – GCC President Clark
and
Chloe Moretz – Strike’s pyromaniac kid with the darling explosion gesture
A Prince of Space remake made by the crew of Tokyo Gore Police or Death Kappa would be interesting to see.
It would probably be over the top weird and enough of a homage to the original film catagory.
Well, I like the topic. I understand the naysayers who would not want anyone else to play the MST3K characters, but after I saw some of the suggestions, some ideas started clicking in my head, and I just have to put them out here. Remember, this is a dream list, so I took the liberty of choosing persons who have passed from this mortal coil, but who, in their prime, just fit the bill for my (admittedly strange) perspective. So, for another movie theater version of Mystery Science Theater:
Dr. Clayton Forrester: Gene Wilder
TV’s Frank: “Curly” Howard
Joel Robinson: Eric Idle
Mike Nelson: Chevy Chase
Tom Servo: Meat Loaf
Crow T. Robot: Samuel L. Jackson
Gypsy: Tommy Chong
Magic Voice: Marilyn Monroe
And the movie? How about the Tom Cruise version of “War of the Worlds”? I don’t know- I need to think about that one, but gotta go for now. Thanks for reading. See ya!