Here are my top 10, mostly based on how funny the bit was. You are welcome to use whatever criterion you like.
• 201- ROCKETSHIP X-M: the BGC-19, if only for the sheer work that went into building it.
• 307- DADDY-O: Alien teething nook. Why doesn’t somebody make them? This picture went around on the net recently, but this is not a pacifier, it’s just a plushy somebody put on the kid’s face. I bet the real thing would sell.
• 309- THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN: A plant that reviews music, aka “Robert Plant,” as he was later known. Kevin channels every pompous NPR announcer he’s ever heard.
• 317- VIKING WOMEN VS. THE SEA SERPENT: Meat re-animator. One weird mamajama.
• 318- STAR FORCE-FUGITIVE ALIEN II: the big head. Big as all outdoors.
• 320- THE UNEARTHLY: Hard pills to swallow. Probably my all-time favorite, because Dr. F seems to enjoy it so much.
• 402- THE GIANT GILA MONSTER: Renaissance festival punching bags. Bite me, Frodo.
• 505- MAGIC VOYAGE OF SINBAD: Chin-der wear. At last those obscene chin butts can be covered.
• 518- THE ATOMIC BRAIN: The Mads, Crow and Tom Servo. A memorable moment of self-parody.
• 519- OUTLAW: Fabio kit. Probably the funniest invention of the short Mike invention era.
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Pocket Pool was probably the one that made me laugh the hardest.
Deep Hurting from Hercules Against the Moon Men.
The other one I thought was really funny were both of the Tormented inventions: The Drinking Jacket and the Aunt Catherine Wheel.
And one other I loved was replacing Frank’s Blood. My med school cousin’s girlfriend complained that it wasn’t real blood and there wasn’t enough of it…
Here’s my top favorites…
1. From 421 “Monster a Go-Go.” “Johnny Longtorso” – yes, the man who comes in pieces. Not just because “he’s long,” either.
2. “Tragic Moments Figurines.” Every goth I know wants to collect them all.
3. “Chinderwear” – imagine if that ever were to become popular fashion. I want to see somebody try to pull that off on “Project Runway.”
4. The “Cholester-do-all” from 510, “The Painted Hills.”
5. The “Lawn Baby,” from “Hercules and the Captive Women.” If I were a baby, I know I’d enjoy it.
6. “Fridge Alert” -only works if it’s William Conrad.
I like the Gerbilshpere II, Electric Boogaloo, from “Master Ninja II, Electric Boogaloo”. Also, the radio that only plays plot points from, I think, I want to say, “Giant Gila Monster”. The Wish Squisher and Misfit toys from “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians”, both good. I also liked the Aunt Catherine Wheel as jerry from comment #2 pointed out. Timmy – Crows dark-preternatural-prayed-for friend from “Fire Maidens”, does he count? I don’t recall them doing an actual invention on that one, I could be wrong.
And who can forget – The Square Master!
Johnny Longtorso, Johnny Longtorso, the doll that comes in pieces!
He’s LONG!
One of my favorites, just because it’s such an amusing concept, is Snaction!. What *was* the Octagobstopper based on, anyway?
Also, Freak Out! was amusing, thanks to Frank’s reaction to it, and the hidden Frank Zappa reference.
Do the board games count as inventions? The utter despair of Killer Shrews: The Board Game makes me laugh every time.
Daktari Stool.
Sign Language Translater.
Tank Tops.
Steve-O-Meter, you chowderheads.
Nuff said.
The Chin-derwear bit also led to one of my favorite Poopie moments. The Mads had such dirty minds.
#1 hands down… Cartoon Character Goggles from 108: The Slime People.
But I have to say, The Toilet Paper in a Liter Bottle (104: Women of the Prehistoric Planet) still makes me laugh out loud. That and Joel’s kind of ‘oh well, here you go’ presentation of it.
…and Linda Blair with real head cranking action “your mother flosses in hell! Blegh!!”
The Celebrity Mouth to Mouth Toothpastes that vomits on your toothbrush cracks me up every time. I wish somebody would sell those for real. From episode 111 Moon Zero Two.
104 – Women of the Prehistoric Planet – “Clay And Lar’s Flesh Barn” The Mads are so enthusiastic about this idea, plus I think the song is so darn catchy.
204 – Catalina Caper – “Tickle Bazooka/Tank Tops” both sides had great inventions here.”I’m chaffing like a bear”
210 – King Dinosaur – Let’s alll take a big long gawk at the pocket sized scientist.
213 – Godzilla Vs The Sea Monster – “Mind Controll Guitar” Joel’s facial expressions are unbelievable here.
318 – Fugitive Alien II “Big Noses” Such a ridiculous idea yet it cracks me up every time. “Now I can brown nose myself”
319 – War Of The Colossal Beast “Between Meal Mortar” I love it when the live Twinkie explodes.
320 – The Unearthly “Hard Pills To Swallow” Dr. F is so evil here, it’s great. Love this episode so much.
415 – The Beatniks “Pocket Pool” A new twist on a classic phrase.
417 – Crash Of The Moons “Sugary Deep13 Toothpaste” TV’s Frank really shines in this one.
423 – Bride Of The Monster “Tough Love Seat” The way the Mads shake in that seat is hilarious.
518 – The Atomic Brain “Mads as Crow and Servo” Another great Frank moment.
So I see I have 11 choices, what do you want I’M MAD!!!!!
Tickle Bazooka was also great for the Firesign Theatre namedrop and paraphrase :)
And the Flesh Barn was great if only for providing the genesis of the Big G Burger.
Lost Continent – Frank’s “Exercise Machines” – Obviously these are supposed to be silly, but given the indulgence of some people today I’m amazed no one’s run with the wheeled treadmill idea.
Godzilla vs Megalon – Halloween Costumes – These would still work today, even though the “missing kids on milk carton” concept was already becoming a memory at the time of the episode (I still enjoy using the joke though)
Pod People – Public Domain Karaoke Machine – My favorite invention from the show, and has served as a frequent reference joke among my MST friends.
Rebel Set – The Mark Rothko Paint-By-Number Set – Wonderful stab at the whole concept of abstract art.
Human Duplicators – William Conrad Fridge Alert – Probably the most gratuitous invention they ever did, which was what made the whole thing hilarious in the first place.
Monster A Go Go – Johnny Longtorso – Wonderful stab at the toy industry
Manos – The Cartuner – Wonderful stab at the newspaper comics industry. I could only imagine this as applied to the webcomics industry of today.
Re: Johnny Longtorso — have you seen the line of Marvel Comics “action figures” that include pieces of Galactus? You have to buy about twenty figures before you have all of Galactus. He actually is the man who’s sold in pieces! Best Brains should sue.
I was never big on the invention exchange. I always felt it was really just a vehicle for Joel’s stand up act to get exposure. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but I just wanted to hurry up and get to the riffin’!
I don’t remember the episodes, but the ones that stand out to me were the Stairmaster and rowing machine exercising stuff that Frank presented in one of the 2nd season ep’s.
That, and the one where Frank suggested giving out poop to kids as an evil baseball game give-away item.
I’ve always personally liked “Gutter-Bumber-chute”.
While far from the best invention, there’s just something really amusing they way Mike presents it. (The whole “newbie really trying to carry on the predecessor’s tradition” vibe from it was just funny, in a good way)
Aside from that, many of Mike’s inventions really weren’t all that good. I’ve always thought it was amazing that, with all those creative minds there, they couldn’t sustain the invention concept very long after Joel departed.
I wonder what it was that made the Brains decide to discontinue the Invention Exchange?
The only one I can mention that hasn’t been listed yet is “The Rat Pack Chess Set” (“You don’t have movie sign until I say you have movie sign…. go ahead, you crumb-bums.”).
My favorite is the “Tragic Moment Figurines”, though (“This one’s called ‘I’ll Get It!'”. Frank’s reading for that line was funny and great!).
They are all great – two not mentioned that come to mind are:
The Unhappy Meal – gosh that was a dark one.
Mike’s Own Original Recipe Red Hot Ricocheeeeeeee Barbeque Sauce (Extra Bold)
The Chocolate Bunny Guillotine (so evil) and the Cartuner (which the funnies page needs more than ever) from Manos are probably my all time favorites.
“Whol Lotta Love”, Joel’s electric bagpipes, 0101-The Crawling Eye
I divided my choices between the SOL and the Mads and limited myself to seven each:
SOL:
-Collapsable Trash Can (Gamera vs. Guiron)
-Misfit Toys (Santa Claus Conquers the Martians)
-Jack Palance Masks (Being from Another Planet)
-Steve-o-Meter (Hercules Unchained)
-Bittersweet Hearts (Warrior of the Lost World)
-Junk Drawer Organizer (I Accuse My Parents)
-The Mads (Atomic Brain)
MADS:
-Clay and Lar’s Flesh Barn (Women of the Prehistoric Planet)
-Hard Pills to Swallow (Unearthly)
-Ren Fest Punching Bags (Giant Gila Monster)
-Tragic Moments Figurines (Being From Another Planet)
-Deep Hurting (Hercules Against the Moon Men)
-Fridge Alert (Human Duplicators)
-Johnny Longtorso (Monster a Go-Go)
and BOTH:
-BGC-19 (Rocketship X-M)
Oh, a while back, I saw that Wal-Mart actually sells real Junk Drawer Organizers. Does Joel get a piece of this?
The Re-COMFY Bike! Frank falls asleep exercising!
Daktari Stool because I bet most people don’t get it.
Gutter Bumbershoot because it’s Mike’s first episode and the bots are trying SOOO hard to get behind him even though it’s sort of a lame invention.
Hard Pills To Swallow- NOT THE CHILDREN!!!!
Micro Golf- Miniature golf that’s truly microscopic!
GOD! Nobody picked NUMMY MUFFIN COOCOLBUTTER???
The Mads
Public Domain Karaoke Machine
Johnny Longtorso
Hard Pills to Swallow
The Deep 13 Quick Primp Kit
The Secret Invention (Frank’s wearing his right now! :wink: )
Cake ‘n’ Shake
Joel/Mike
The Mads
Micro-golf
Andrew Lloyd Webber Grill
The Steve-o-meter
The Cartuner
Cowboy Mike’s Red Hot Ricocheeeeeet! BBQ Sauce (now in new extra bold!)
Maybe no one really liked Nummy Muffin Cocobutter. It’s possible, is it not? I wouldn’t have listed it as a favorite.
Going in order of appearance, and separated by who did them. Also decided to choose five from each group. Anyway, the funniest of the ones I’ve seen:
THE MADS:
Clay and Lar’s Flesh Barn (from Women of the Prehistoric Planet):
The song is catchy and the concept is hilarious and maybe slightly disturbing. “Stunned, killed, eviscerated, right at your table.”
Public Domain Karaoke (from Pod People):
This one gets quoted way too much by me and my brother. The best part about this invention is that it’s probably already actually been done by some fly-by-night company. At least with the sketch we get to hear Frank and Dr. F’s hilariously awful take on “Ave Maria.”
Hard pills to swallow (from The Unearthly):
Admittedly the episode isn’t very memorable to me but this invention sure was. It’s a simple idea but the execution is hilarious.
Johnny Longtorso (from Monster A-Go-Go):
As has been said, one of the best satires of the toy industry imaginable. And who can’t love the theme song so ridiculous that even in the used take Frank and Dr. F nearly crack up?
Cake ‘n’ Shake (from I Accuse My Parents):
This one always struck me as being pretty hilarious for any number of reasons, but I think the part that always makes me laugh the most is Dr. F’s reaction after he realizes how badly Frank messed up this time. “You WHAT?! You baked him into the cake?! An hour at 350?!”
THE SoL CREW:
The tickle bazooka (from Catalina Caper):
It’s just such a goofy invention that I can’t help but love it. I bet that thing would be a blast at parties.
The Steve-O-Meter (from Hercules Unchained):
In my opinion, the funniest invention exchange ever, mainly due to its ending. Besides, who doesn’t love Steve Allen?
Freak Out/Super Freak Out (from Hercules Against the Moon Men):
While DEEP HURTING is absolutely hilarious, I don’t really think it really counts as an invention, per se. Super Freak Out from the same episode is really great too, though, especially when Joel introduces Freak Out by blowing glitter into the camera. Frank’s reaction to it all is priceless, too: “See me… feel me… TOUCH ME!!!”
The Cartuner (from Manos):
I’m always up for satire of the newspaper funnies and they definitely do a good job with this one. “Ziggy had Garfield neutered? NOW THAT’S FUNNY!”
The junk drawer organizer (from I Accuse My Parents):
Another often-quoted one, mainly due to all of the great bits of junk in there, such as the “handful of gravel that might be agate,” the loose pieces of string, and of course, Crow’s priceless line “Now how many times have you gone rooting through your junk drawer, asking yourself ‘Where’d I put that gun?'”
In no particular order:
Public Domain Karaoke – “AAAAA-VEEEEE MaREEEEE-AAAAA.”
Atomic Hair Dryer – “Should I go with the Niels Bohr or the Richard Feynman?”
Daktari Stool – the delivery here is like getting sideswiped by a bullet train – by the time you say, “the hell?” it’s already gone.
Sandstorm/Deep Hurting – it kind of pumps you up for what really is a pretty dismal piece of cinematography, but I still like it.
Razorback – “I got the styptic!”
Hard Pills to Swallow – “If you can get it down, you have a friend that knows you inside and out.”
Honorable mention to the Wassail “Born-on” dating – It wasn’t exactly an invention exchange, but I liked how they adapted a marketing concept from the beer industry into something useful to the equally lucrative wassail industry.
Gerbilsphere II, absolutely. Everything about it was extremely funny, most especially the last line as they went into the theater: “He’s dead!” Why I find that funny, I don’t know….
Also, I liked the Venda-Gut…something about all those quarters in Frank’s pocket. Dark, dark stuff.
Kenneth Morgan: I saw that at an Ames store many years ago myself. You know what was even more interesting? The product was labeled as being manufactured in Minneapolis, MN, mere miles away from where the show was taping, and was made in 1993, the same year that episode with that invention first aired! “Weird! Yeah, I guess you could call it that. Weird.” (206)
Anyway, onto my picks for best invention exchanges. Again, this process is about as agonizing as watching Joe Don Baker in a love-making scene, but I will do my best:
Mads
206- Operation self-surgery game. One of my fav games as a kid became one of my fav Mads invention exchanges.
315- no actual invention, just Forrester and Frank fighting over who presents it. Finally, Frank sticking up for himself!
320- Hard Pills to Swallow. Great stuff, from Frank’s continual crying to Forrester’s villainous laughs, its a winner.
405- Tragic Moments Figurines. Wow! About as dark as I’ve ever seen any show go! (And I’m a fan of Rescue Me and Law and Order.) But who says dark can’t be funny?
410- Deep Hurting. Best invention tied in with a movie theme ever on the show.
414- Drinking jacket. I know about two dozen people who could put such a thing to good use.
Joel/Mike
212- Halloween Costumes. All three are winners, but I especially love the missing child on the milk carton. “Have you seen me?”
303- New guitar chord. I love anything with explosions on this show, and this invention was no exception. Joel’s goofy expression gets me every time.
405- Jack Palance impersonator kit. Would have been even funnier tied in with a Jack Palance movie, but its a great device with all three again giving good impersonations of the deep-breathed actor.
408- Steve-o-Meter. Sampo, I loved your story about Steve Allen and Jane Meadows actually enjoying this bit. And why not? Its brilliant.
411 Big Gulp Berets. I’ve actually seen a variation of these. Joel should have marketed some of his inventions.
Honorable Mention; 514-Waiter Baiter. I think this was the funniest invention of the Mike era (sorry Sampo). How many times have any of us needed this at a restaurant? Also, even though it wasn’t listed as an invention, but I love the Mike’s Riccochet Barbeque Sauce bit.
Here goes –
201 – Rocketship X-M – The BGC-1.9 Drum Machine. Just an awesome creation, no wonder they used it twice. Why it wasn’t utilized in the fight against Timmy years later I’ll never understand.
318 – Star Force: Fugitive Alien 2 – The Super-Schnoz and the Big Head. Two similar, stupid ideas. Just hilarious stuff. “Whos that guy with the big head, the big head, talkin’ big…”
323 – The Castle of Fu Manchu – Stinky Bomb. Just seeing Frank as Joe Besser is a dream come true.
402 – The Giant Gila Monster – Renaissance Festival Punching Bags. Frank seems so earnest as he vents his anger out on the Rat Catcher.
405 – The Being From Another Planet – Tragic Moments Figurines. There’s a fortune to be made there, honestly. Who doesn’t want “Daddy’s Liquid Breakfast” carefully placed on a nook or bureau?
417 – Crash of the Moons – Rock N’ Wreck Guitar. Another brilliant idea: who doesn’t want to smash their guitar, but not buy a new one? Guitars were made to be smashed. They should naturally put themselves back together.
423 – Bride of the Monster – Tough Loveseat. Frank’s been bad. Let the healing begin.
505 – The Magic Voyage of Sinbad – Chin-derwear and The Rat Pack Chess Set. How these two things don’t exist yet is beyond me. Well, the latter more than the former.
506 – Eegah – Porkerina. Where does that incidental music come from!?
513 – The Brain That Wouldn’t Die – Gutter-Bumber-Shoot. The sweetness with which this is presented is what sells it. Beats out the Cumber-Bumble-Bund for best name ever.
Honorable Mentions: 315 – Teenage Caveman – The intense scuffle over who gets to present the invention down in Deep 13. Labor disputes get ugly!
407 – The Killer Shrews – Forrester and Frank promise to “cleave in two this puny planet!” Why? It’s unclear.
>>>Cowboy Mike’s Red Hot Ricocheeeeeet! BBQ Sauce (now in new extra bold!)<<<
Hell yeah It’s Bold !!!
The BGC-19 was brilliant. But I also loved the hard pills to swallow (poor Frank…) and the meat reanimator.
Does the meat reanimator remind anyuone of a certain Three Stooges gag where a parrot climbs into a turkey and makes it look like the bird came back to life?
Hell in a handbag (103): I love Joel’s startled reaction at the fireball. I guess it was bigger than he’d expected.
Rainy-day ipecacs (315) (and by the way, that IS how it’s spelled): It’s the name that really does it for me (with its idea of, it’s raining, we’re bored, let’s make ipecacs!). I like how one cuts to the chase with “a punch in the stomach” as an ingredient.
Hard pills to swallow (320): Best ever. A thoroughly evil idea, well-explored. As mentioned, Trace and Frank’s performances are top-notch.
Aunt Catherine Wheel/Drinking jacket (414): I could have used the former myself. I like how the drinking jacket isn’t just a play on “smoking jacket,” but inverts the gentility of the smoking jacket into clothing for hopeless alcoholics.
Johnny Longtorso/Non-violent action figures (421): As pointed out, “the doll who is, himself, sold separately” is such an evil idea, real toy manufacturers have since picked up on it. I love Crow’s figure (“Oh, he’s just the host organism”). But don’t get me started on the whole “Edward de Vere was Shakespeare” thing (grumble).
Tough love seat (423): I like how something that first seems like just another way to torture Frank becomes a way for both of them to “reach a new understanding.”
U-view (503): Brilliantly takes vicarious entertainment to its ultimate: vicariously experiencing what you would really be experiencing if you weren’t sitting at home, vicariously experiencing it.
Replacing Frank’s blood (506): I especially like the sissy slap fight over the blood at the end. The Brains made a good choice to have the blood so obviously fake. Realistic blood in this sketch would have been kind of grotesque (even for them!).
The Scanner Planner (511): “Do you ever want to make people’s heads explode? Sure, we all do.” Frank’s “Gookie” expression as Dr. F scans him is priceless. And it’s the origin of what will later be the “Observer mind power” sound.
“Our invention is… you!” (518): TB have brilliant skewerings of the Mads’ personalities, while Dr. F is left making impotent stabs like “What a dumb color gold is!” I think of this exchange whenever I see really bad “list everything you can about something, then pretend that each and every element is, prima face, stupid” snarking (c.f., Onion AV Club’s “The Hater”).
PIN BOLUS(SP?), WATCHING THE FOOD BOUNCE AROUND IN JOEL’S GUTS IS FUNNY.
Mine are similar to most everyone’s, I think.
7. The Vend-a-gut
6. The Wish-Squisher
5. The Squaremaster
4. Deep Hurting
3. Hard Pill to Swallow
2. William Conrad Fridge Alert (I mean, who would need this? Quinn Martin, maybe, and he’s dead!)
1. Tragic Moments is not only my favorite invention exchange, but the funniest thing ever done on the show.
I notice that all of mine were presented by the Mads. Well, Frank and Dr. F were one of the best comedy teams ever.
Heh, I forgot about the atomic hair-dryer. That one was fantastic just for how Frank reacted to the results. “Oh, sorry, I thought you were Baphomet for a second.”
The Steve-O-Meter
Jack Palance Impersonator Kit from “BEING FROM ANOTHER PLANET”
Scratch ‘n’ Sniff Report Cards from “TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE”. Priviledge has its own odor.
Router Ouija Board from “ATTACK OF THE THE EYE CREATURES”
Re: Johnny Longtorso
DC Comics did the same thing with a (Rex Mason)Metamorpho figure. You have to buy 5 to put Metamorpho together.
I like the wishsquiser because that was just down right evil plus I like the part where Joel wonders what would happen if the box went though again.
Johnny Longtorso was pretty awesome because he’s long. Freakout and Super Freakout was pretty cool too. :oops:
The Car-tooner: There’s lots of truth to what Joel said about modern comics, and the combinations of different strips was funny. (For real world funny comics, check out the Garfield Minus Garfield website. It’s the Garfield strip, but with Jon and no one else. It’s sad and funny to see him talking to himself.)
Fabio! Yes, now you can be Fabio! Mike was very good at this bit and it’s a fun invention.
Chin-derwear. So perfect and a fine opportunity for MST3K to use it’s own brand of dirty humor. (I wonder if hair grew on Frank’s finger?)
The Square Master. An exercise square! What’s really scary about this invention is that it’s very believable.
The Hard Pills to Swallow. So evil. So funny.
Johnny Longtorso. While the real “build a figure” concept is not quite as evil as Dr. F’s, it’s close.
Boil in a Bag IV Dinners. Silly, and you wouldn’t really be able to taste the food, but it’s a nice idea.
Wish Squisher. It’s a great invention of pure evil.
Misfit Toys. The Easy Bake Foundry is my favorite.
I’ve always been partial to the Rainy Day Epicacs…because as a prank at a party I actually got someone to do the Chocolate Milk & Pickle Juice combo.
..and when I was sick one time, I did the Lucky Charms and Cherry NyQuil combo.
Favorite inventions:
– Renaissance Festival Punching Bags: “Take that you satin-suited, Tolkien-reading loser!” Hilarious stuff!!!!
– Tickle Bazooka
– BGC19
– Super Freak Out
– Deep Hurting
– Johnny Long Torso
– Halloween Costumes for Joel, Crow and Servo. “Have you seen me?” Great!!!!
– Tragic Moments Figurines. “I’ll get it!” Ouch, really dark and really funny!
– Clay and Lar’s Flesh Barn. Hilarious song.
– Exercise Square. The Mads presentation of a plain square sheet as an exercise “device” parodied all of the useless exercise gadgets ever sold on TV. Great writing, really funny, especially as Frank demonstrates the uses for the device.
Dang, late to discussion but I agree with any of the above saying:
“Tough Love Seat”
“Baby Mower”
“Steve Allen Meter”
“Tank Tops”
“Pocket Pool”
“William Conrad Alarm”
As mentioned in the Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, Mike was not an inventor. In fact from what the various Brains have stated over the years, Joel was the true prop comic among them.
Yeah, from what I’ve seen of his pre-MST3K days, Joel was a sort of prop-comic/magician. That difference between he and Mike was utilized well in the first episode of season 10.
These are all good but nothing….and I mean NOTHING…. makes this brahma chari howl with unbridled mirth like Resuci-Annie’s “odd taste”.
How could I have forgotten the Wish Squisher? Now that was a truly evil invention.
Oh, yeah, Tank Tops was a GREAT invention.
For those commenting on Joel’s skill as a prop-comic, that skill is what gave all of us MST3K. It was Joel’s skill with props that created and built Tom Servo, Crow T Robot and Gypsy! Joel’s responsibility as creator of the show’s concept, major characters and the props used to bring those characters to life cannot be over-stated.