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Weekend Discussion Thread: Worst Special Effects/Make-UpAlert reader Phil (aka “Fart Bargo”) writes:
Good catch! For special effects, I’d have to go with the flying pizza creatures in IT CONQUERED THE WORLD. For makeup, I’d have to pick the zombies in THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES. What are your picks? 87 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Worst Special Effects/Make-Up”Commenting at Satellite News
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Effect – Definitely the pathetic excuse for “bats” in The Undead. Yeah….Corman is a great director.
Makeup- I’m going with the really unfortunate job on the end-scene monster in The Brain That Wouldn’t Die. The mask just ties at the back?
I’m going with the Giant Sleeping Bag-Chinese Dragon monstrosity that eats people by letting them crawl into his “opening” in Creeping Terror.
The suits on the the Eye Creatures. Specifically, the ones that just have masks and are running around in black turtlenecks.
They just didn’t care.
Here is a classic, the Garkin (gurkin, krakin, whatever) otherwise known as a lobster, in Teenagers from Outer Space. You could see through it half the time. Then there are the giant grasshoppers in The Beginning of the End, walking on post cards.
As for bad make-up and effects combined as well as animal cruelty, how about all the poor lizards with fins and such glued to them? King Dinosaur and Robot Monster come readily to mind.
I also have a couple of dishonorable mentions for the worst use of a floor covering to create a monster. The walking carpet in Creeping Terror and the dogs with bits of carpet stuck on them from Killer Shrews.
@hotdrawnborgnine (#2) DAMN! How could I forget!! Definitely the worst monster ever to be made out of carpet remnants.
One word “Ortega!” Also the worlds oldest teenager in a duct taped space suits threatening “TOR CHURE! I would mention the Gorons but maybe lobsters are frightening to mid-westerners.
Eye Creatures and Future War were pretty bad.
Would the ‘phone’ ‘ring’ in Monster-A-Go-Go (I’m pretty sure it was that one) count as a special effect? As for makeup, the title creatures of The Killer Shrews.
Hair and makeup unaward goes to: Werewolf. From the villain’s ever-changing hairdo to the ever-changing look of the werewolf, it’s as if they never could decide with which look to go, so they just tried them all. Lucky us.
The ‘noses’ done for the Chicken Men of Krankor from “Prince Of Space”. Also, the inconsistent size of Glenn Manning in the “Amazing Colossal Man” and “War of the Colossal Beast” movies. He goes from 60 to 300 feet tall between shots.
The Hobgoblin puppets come to mind. Unlike every girl I dated in high school, all they are capable of actually doing is nodding.
Rubbersuited monsters are a favorite of mine. The best ‘special’ effect has to be in Godzilla vs Megalan. Godzilla’s running Flying Jump Kick was deftly done by rubbersuited human in Godzilla garb gets in a semi set position and starts running and then JUMPCUT an empty rubber Godzilla suit is strung up on fish line to pulleys and flys into Megulan. To the joy of no one, this is repeated several times with the same footage.
For make up it’s got to be Screaming Skull as none was used in this movie.
It’s a sort of “special” effects, how about the
grasshoppers crawling off the postcard in Beginning
of the End? Or for that matter any time the “giant”
grasshoppers appear (including when Peter Graves
assistant was signing “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”)
No, this isn’t going to be fertile ground. You’ve already nailed the two worst possible: the Carpet-Sample Terror and the second-tier Eye Creatures. The Eye Creatures weren’t so bad as far as they went. Get it? “As far as they went.” Ha.
I need more coffee.
Come to think of it, however, the Gargans were pretty bad. And for sheer outrage, the grasshoppers walking on post cards are arguably even-up with the Eye Creature head-cum-Danskin-cum-Chucks costumes.
Attack of the the Eye Creatures! Especially that one with the monster head, but not the monster body – just the skin-tight black leotard. Because they just didn’t care…
I don’t think anything beats “grasshoppers on pictures of buildings” for bad special effects. So that category goes to The Beginning of the End.
Toy boat…toy boat…toy boat…
Which one was that? Where the boat was actually a toy boat in a BATH TUB? Special effects by Billy.. :lol:
Was that Danger! Death Ray!!?
Can’t think of makeup at the moment, but costumes…I mean, CUSTUMES :roll: (how ’bout worst spelling in credits?) –
The polar bear and robot from “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians”. :shock:
Now this is a thick, rich, meaty topic. I like it very much! While there are plenty of great choices out there, I’d like to go with a classic: Ro-Man and his deadly bubble machine. Ooh, scary!
How about the awful old man makeup used on Bob Jackass in Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders? When he holds his head you can actually see the material bunch up.
I would say thats pretty much every single episode. I think a tougher topic would be which movies had GOOD special effects/make-up. :shock:
Finally a real topic again after that Lost discussion and where you stack your DVD’s. My vote is for the carpet monster. That whole movie just screams CHEESE from beginning to end.
I was going to go for the giant lobster Gargan monster in Teenagers from Outer Space, but I have to agree with both of Crowschmo’s choices. The toy boat in the bathtub from Danger! Death Ray! was fantastic…cheap AND lame!
I’d totally forgotten about the special effects from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, all of which were embarrassing. Yeah, the polar bear was pretty awful, but so was the robot Tor, and the control room of the spaceship, and the “nucular” curtain with its two colored lightbulbs.
Dishonorable mention goes to Village of the Giants, for its “giant” effects, but most especially for the pair of giant legs that the good teens try to lasso.
@ 6
Gorons aren’t movie monsters, they’re the stone-eating titans from the Legend of Zelda series. To compare them to the lobst-I mean Garkan s is an insult to Nintendo.
Not mentioned so far:
Stuff on strings in “Rocketship X-M” and “Riding with Death” …
Trumpy’s stopmotion shenanigans in “Pod People” …
Angry-faced cabbage in “It Conquered the World” …
Glen Manning’s exposed skull in “War of the Colossal Beast” …
The bubbles from the “Robot Monster”‘s viewer …
The hotdog-mouth mercreatures in “Horror of Party Beach” …
The painfully obvious low-rent video effects in “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank” …
So many choices. I agree that the carpet monster in The Creeping Terror must take the prize, though, for worst monster design. For worst makeup I nominate the monster who didn’t exist from Monster a Go Go, particularly because in at least one shot they forget to apply it.
#17: “Which one was that? Where the boat was actually a toy boat in a BATH TUB? Special effects by Billy.. :lol:
Was that Danger! Death Ray!!?”
Yes, it was. I think that’s the worst model work we’ve ever seen in MST3K, although the pet lizard crawling around the model railroad kit in The Giant Gila Monster is almost as bad. As bad as the models are in the various Japanese movies–Mighty Jack comes to mind–they at least seem like they’re trying, mostly.
Also noteworthy: the meteor from Track of the Moon Beast; the dinosaurs from Future War, which often look like you could step on them without much trouble; the laughable “flame thrower” from Space Mutiny with a range of about a foot maybe; Puma Man‘s flying; MEGAWEAPON MEGAWEAPON MEGAWEAPON from Warrior of the Lost World, not to mention the semi-airborne “supersonic speed cycle”; the spectacularly fakey torching of Torgo’s hand in Manos the Hands of Fate; the polar bear costume in Santa Claus Conquers the Martians; the stop-motion “Trumpy, you can do stupid things!” bit from Pod People; the invisible warriors in Cave Dwellers (“they were too cheap to hire villains!”); the Perkin-Elmer bubble machine from Robot Monster, not to mention the gorilla-suited robot; Avocado Man from Robot Holocaust.
A special award goes to Castle of Fu Manchu which steals every single special effect from another movie.
2 special effect fiascos come to mind:
– Puma Man’s power to rear project major cities.
– The “invisible protective face shields” in 12 To The Moon.
As for worst make up, my vote goes to every stupid looking painted-up Atlantean denizen in Alien from LA, especially Deep Roy with his out of control eyelashes.
For special effects, the horribly mismatched time-lapse transformation in “Track of the Moon Beast” comes to mind. I can’t remember if anyone mentioned it in that thread. The special effect was far worse than the makeup, and that’s really saying something.
Then there’s the space station in “Robot Monster,” which, to show that it was orbiting, the filmmakers showed furiously spinning in a tight circle from a string.
I’ll give the “worst makeup” award to “Monster a-Go Go” for the scene in which a character was supposedly horribly mutilated. Appropriately for this movie, there was no horror, no mutilation, no thing called makeup.
I forgot to add that another special award, the “Catching Trouble” Ross Allen award for disgusting animal abuse, goes to a movie that while never shown on MST3K did contribute stock footage to a couple of other movies, King Dinosaur and Robot Monster: it goes to the Victor Mature vehicle One Million B.C. in which an iguana and a monitor lizard dressed up with fake spikes are sicced on each other. All that was missing was razor blades tied to their limbs.
And we DO have the Sea Monkey Impregnation in Night of the Blood Beast–waitaminute, there’s a conspiracy going on here. Night of the Blood Beast, Robot Monster, and It Conquered the World all had super-sucky FX and *all were shot at Bronson Caves in Griffith Park.*
COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT.
My favourite has been mentioned already several times (the Gargons from TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE), but I’m glad #17 mentioned the toy helicopter and boat from DANGER! DEATH RAY! Weirdly (or not), I LIKE the models in the many Japanese experiments, perhaps because the filmmakers took their models seriously (and didn’t seem to try to pass them off as anything BUT models; it’s like, “okay, now we’re going to integrate some cool models into the scenes featuring guys in cool rubber suits”). For example, I LOVE the models of the rowboats with the little rowboat guys in GODZILLA VERSUS THE SEA MONSTER; they look so hilarious as the flail away. But the toys in DANGER! DEATH RAY! simply look shoddy and laughable (although I do love them for that).
An excellent discussion topic! :cool:
@H #8: From what I’ve heard of Monster a Go-Go’s pieced-together past, think we were watching some raw footage of the scene (most of MaGG looked like raw footage to begin with), and the famous “brrt!” was actually the director cue where the sound editor would later paste in a real phone ring…Which would also explain our couple dancing to no music at the restaurant.
(Yes, I know that spoils a classic riff, but better to punish the guilty than the innocent.)
As for worst makeup, can I cheat and use a Cinematic Titanic ref for “Danger on Tiki Island”? :) (And the “mutant monster” that looks like the love child of Shrek and Stromboli from “Pinocchio”?)
Nah, let’s keep it legit and stick to MST3K: I’ll take the monsters in tights and sneakers from The The Eye Creatures.
Worst make-up? Leech Woman – she was supposed to make this amazing youthful transformation but as Mike Nelson said, “she looks about 3 weeks younger.” JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!
Great makeup job – The kid from THE CRAWLING HAND, where they basically just mussed up his hair and smeared mascara under his eyes.
Great rubber suit – C’mon, noone’s mentioned THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH monsters? Blatantly, ludicrously fake ‘monster heads’ (“Well, radiation has a sense of humor…”) combined with what seem to be leotards covered with leaves.
Great monsters – Let’s not forget that poor idiot from HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND, where they apparently did his face, one hand, and ran out of money, or the “monster” from FIRE MAIDENS FROM OUTER SPACE (I’m sure I’m misremembering that name) which is just a skinny guy in a black leotard with a mask on.
Great special effect – SPACE MUNITY’s already been mentioned, but nobody’s commented on the sad attempt to pass off golf carts as high-speed, high-tech transport devices, or the budget-saving tactic of simply pirating special effects shots from BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.
It’s not exactly makeup, but my nomination would be the uniforms of Krankor and his men.
I think we all know why.
In light of this week’s episode discussion, how about the quick yet terrible make up transition during Track of the Moon Beast. Other notables: Paul the warwilf, Bob Jackass, and the Randy Johnson model cyborg.
And no mention of the new science of Hand-Powered Rocketry, from “Robot Monster”?
How about Buzz teleporting into the diner booth in Girl in Gold Boots? Man, that wasn’t very good.
For effects, the werewolf-bat-bug puppet thing in Werewolf, because it was so inconsistent. The dinosaurs in Future War were lame, but at least you could tell they were actually dinosaurs. For makeup, Gary, the hairy, slack-wearing spider from The Terrors of Spider Island.
Special FX
12 to the moon- the “invisible” mask. The stage lights at the top of the set. The cites turning into artist renderings. The crashing rocket with the stick attached.
Egahh- Misplaced sound effects such as “watch out for snakes”. The fabric-like wrinkle on the wall of the cave.
Being from another planet- the lame Styrofoam-headed alien. BTW, that effect blew the film’s budget by $50.
Diabolik- a flying mummy. My leg is turning one dimensional
Make up
Merlins shop- that one guy
The bagelwich flying saucer from “Attack of the the Eye Creatures”
The barbecued parrot monster suit from both “Teenage Caveman” and “Night of the Blood Beast”
Billy’s submarine and helicopter from “Danger! Death Ray!”
The “invisible” attackers from “Cave Dwellers”. So cheap they could only afford the blankets Ator throws on them.
I think 2 of the worst makeup jobs were in movies that weren’t even trying to make people look like monsters or aliens. I’m talking about the world’s most ridiculous fake beard on “Castro” in RED ZONE CUBA, and the “satyr” costume on Torgo in MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE. They didn’t need makeup or goat horns, they just gave him really big thighs!
Special effects go to DANGER! DEATH RAY..Make-up goes to EYE CREATURES and ROBOT HOLOCAUST.There’s too many to choose from,but those come to mind.
Worst cyborg category I nominate THE AZTEC MUMMY VS. THE HUMAN ROBOT. Some poor sap has his head in what can best be described as a clear bucket with an actual light bulb on it. The rest of the get up looked like an old water heater, tin venting material, aluminum mail boxes for feet.
Future War definite dominates in both categories.
sheesh. where do we begin?
The parrot/creature from Night of the Blood Beast is one. The pizza creatures and their master, the evil giant pickle from It Conquered the World. Speaking of food, the heroine’s dad turned avocado from “Robot Holocaust” was just weird.
The (the) Eye Creatures were really bad, but with sporty PF Flyer sneakers.
The slime creatures from, well, the Slime Creatures didn’t do it for me.
Fruit Brute – I mean Werewolf (wuhrwulf) – was pretty bad.
The Unearthly also had a horrible collection of bad make up/costumes.
The ever-changing size of the dinosaurs in Future War are a bit dubious.
My wife votes for The Giant Gila Monster.
I’m glad Track of the Moon Beast has gotten a number of mentions. I actually watched the unMSTed version of it today and marveled at how terrible the special effects were (not just the flaming asteroid from the opening, but also the lame meteor shower and transformation sequences). And I don’t know whether the Moon Beast suit counts as makeup, but it’s definitely one of the lamest rubber-suit monsters the show ever had, second only to Dr. Leopold in Blood Waters of Dr. Z.
Have we ever done “Best Closing Segment”? It came to mind because I watched “Pod People” today, and it has one of my favorite closings, piling laugh on laugh, with “A Clown in the Sky” coming to its big, emotional conclusion, then:
Joel: I love you, Tom Servo!
Tom: I love you, Joel!
Joel: I love you, Crow!
Crow: You’re not my real father.
Joel: What do you think, sirs?
The Mads (smiles and okay signs, then): It stinks!
(They push the button.)
On the actual subject, I enjoy Lobo’s constantly changing scar in “Bride of the Monster.”
I’d like to give sort of an honorable mention to “This Island Earth.” The Metalunan makeup isn’t bad, as such, but it’s as if whoever designed it didn’t read the script. Thus, you get the cognitive disconnect between how obviously alien it is, and how long it takes Cal et al to twig to the notion that Exeter et al aren’t human. One bit of the MST movie that always gets me is when Ruth asks, “Have you noticed the peculiar indentations on their foreheads?” and Servo sarcastically explodes, “No!!”
I’d have to say the stupid polar bear in Santa Claus Conquers the Martians for worst monster make-up. I like the lady clearly swimming in a pool instead of a swap on Swap Diamonds for worst effect.