Movie: (1966) A fey spy is assigned to protect a scientist from foreign agents.
First shown: 8/2/97
Opening: M&tB are into “extreme” things
Intro: Mike is put on trial for his crimes against the universe
Host segment 1: Pearl and Bobo give their opening statements
Host segment 2: The bots give their video depositions
Host segment 3: Observer takes the stand
End: Crow and Tom hold a candlelight vigil, and the judge gives his verdict and sentence
Stinger: Spaz chop!
(229 votes, average: 4.59 out of 5)
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• This is another one of those episodes where the segments kind of overwhelm the movie and the movie riffing. I hadn’t seen this episode in a while, and my memory of it was that the movie just kind of laid there and didn’t give them a lot to work with. I liked the movie segments more on this viewing, but still I think the segments are the real standout element. Kevin and Mary Jo are both terrific.
• This episode is included in Shout’s “Mystery Science Theater 3000: Vol. XXXIII.”
• Bill’s take is here.
• As Bill notes, that’s Bill as judge, except when Paul fills in at one point.
• References.
• This was the episode in which Patrick took over as Gypsy—and with his arrival every single actor who had been an on-camera regular when the show began had been replaced with other performers. Has that ever happened on any other show?
• I believe the opening segment features the first mention of Mike’s love of rice.
• As somebody noted in the comments, Mike is really not responsible for the first two planets being destroyed. The monkeys destroyed the first one and the nanites destroyed the second one. Camping Planet is on him, however.
• The one henchman looks vaguely like Prince, and that’s enough for an avalanche of Prince references. Mike tries to put an end to it, but then HE does one a little while later!
• The preppy looking henchman also prompts a lot of funny preppy voiced riffs.
• Mike wears his prisoner hat during all the movie riffing segments. No way to know for sure if he’s wearing the full costume.
• The last time we saw Brad “Little Amish Boy” Keeley on camera was in episode 507- I ACCUSE MY PARENTS when he played Rodney the exotic cake dancer.
• Oh, and: my copy has a commercial for Sci-Fi Channel’s “extra-sensory summer” that includes a mention of the “Making of MST3K” documentary.
• My copy also has a commercial for a repeat of episode 803- THE MOLE PEOPLE.
• Daleism: As Dr. Stefanik dies, he holds his hand up: Crow: He thought he was Dale! Note: This may be the final Daleism. It’s the last one I have a notation for.
• Cast and crew roundup: Producer Joseph F. Robertson also produced “The Crawling Hand” and “Slime People.” Special effects guy Harry S. Woolman also worked on “Hangar 18,” “The Incredible Melting Man” and “Laserblast.” Makeup guy Marc Snegoff also worked in “Catalina Caper.” Production manager Lou Place also worked on “It Conquered the World,” he directed “Daddy-O” and was assistant director for “The Undead.” He also acted in “Swamp Diamonds.” Score composer Gene Kauer also worked on “The Atomic Brain” and “Beast of Yucca Flats.”
In front of the camera: Wendell Corey also appeared in “Women of the Prehistoric Planet” and Rafael Campos also appeared in “Girl in Gold Boots.”
• CreditsWatch: Produced by Kevin Murphy and directed by Mike Nelson, the first time he’s directed this season. Patrick is listed as Gypsy for the first time. Bob Seabold finishes up a two-episode stint at grip.
• Fave line: “They’re out of fumar! Now what do we do?” Honorable mention: “First rule of women everywhere: First, do no HARM.”
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Geriatrics are exciting!
Did they think that this would take off into a chain of films? Nothing happens in this movie. Certainly nothing cool.
I have always like this episode, and it has some good riffs, but falls a little sort, so it’s not a 5. I’ll give it a solid 4.
The spy movie that just hangs around the house.
“He’s meeting his niece for lunch! Ba-da-da-DAAAA!”
Yes, women do love beige sports cars! And men who wear cardigans!
Go, Baby Woman!
So, Mr. Metal Cabinet, we meet again.
Oh, you lucky shorts, you’re about to wrap a beautiful package!
Judo range?
They don’t just pick up laundry, they deliver! Ba-da-da-DAAAAAA!!
In closing your honor, I would like to remember the words of that great statesman, Abraham Lincoln…..
Thank you, won’t you?
I love this episode.
“We’re gonna hear the word ‘panties’ in this trial, so let’s get all them giggles out now. Panties, panties, panties, panties, panties….Panties, panties…..”
That always cracks me up.
This is one of the few Sci-Fi episodes I don’t have on tape. I did watch it recently on Y*u-T***e and it brought back some great memories.
Around the time Agent for HARM aired, I had a YakBak (anybody remember these things?) and I recorded the bit where the guys make up an Adam Chance to-do list: “All right. Killed a guy, touched her breast…” I played it back over and over again, laughing hysterically. Seventh graders. What are ya gonna do?
I loved the constant Bond riffs when NOTHING of note happens. Ba-DA-da-DAHHHHH!
Nice to see Bobo as the southern lawyer. As fun as he is being a complete knuckleknob, it’s also cool that he has some level of competence once in a while.
Bobo had competence? Although, the ape did know his pies, gotta give him that.
favorite line comes from a host segment.
“shut up boy, I’m defendin’ ya here”
Oh, and a question. During the deposition thing, when Crow is almost entirely bleeped… did Bill actually spout a string of obscenities? It’s fun to think of Crow saying what I imagine he is saying, but only because part of me will always be in 7th grade.
Who doesn’t love Prince the hitman? The Prince riffs had me rolling thru this episode.
I was kind of disappointed there was no “Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan” reference thrown at Peter Mark Richman….oh well.
Besides it being the worst of the spy movies riffed on (narrowly edging out “illion Eyes of Su-Maru”), I had a problem with Peter Mark Richman as the hero. Having grown up watching Sixties & Seventies TV, I can’t help but think of him as a villain.
As for the replacement of TV regulars, I think maybe “Doctor Who” and “Law & Order” are the only ones I can think of, excluding soaps.
And Crow’s deposition is sideplittingly funny. I wonder if they’ll include the unedited version when/if this ep gets officially released.
Correct me if I’m wrong, and I very well may be, but wasn’t Josh the original Gypsy in the KTMA season? Or are we just not counting that one? If I’m right then Crow Trace to Bill switch would have completed the cast turnover.
Now, you’re going to hear a lot of talking about panties……..
…all bubblin’, full of fruit…
Definitely Bobo’s finest hour. One of my favorite episodes ever.
I honestly don’t remember too much about this episode. Its a bad 60s spy movie. There’s a girl who is always in a swimsuit in it. And Prince is there. I don’t think I skipped anything. The riffing apparently didn’t leave impression on me or I’d mention it as being good.
This is also one of those episodes that completely eschews movie related host segments for the baffling season-spanning storyline. When I first saw this I had missed one or two planet blow-up episodes and had no real clue what was going on. Humorous? In parts I suppose, but not in a MST3K way.
On to the next movie(which is one of my favorites of the sci-fi era).
The Prince riffs kill me. I became a fan in 1984 when Purple Rain the film/album came out. Saw Him and the Revolution tour that year w/ Sheila E. as opening act. Glam/funk/rock hybrid, all new to me then. Loved him until ’89 when his awful Batman ST came out (also hated the movie—Tim Burton’s vision of The Batman never clicked with me. Heck, even Nolan’s missed the mark: Ledger’s Joker was more interesting than Bale’s Batman/B. Wayne for me). But back to The Artist. Minneapolis-based Best Brains obviously got a kick out of blurting out obscure Prince references during this episode which please me to no end.
Also pleasing me here is Barbara Bouchet who I know from various EuroTrash flicks (notably Lucio Fulci’s excellent 1972 giallo DON’T TORTURE A DUCKLING). She has one of the most astounding hip-to-waist ratios I’ve ever seen on screen. The “baby” riffs on her are hilarious, serving to contain her obvious sex-appeal. Good tactic for the Brains. But WTF is that amorphous blob seen on the beach after Chance rescues her from the dune buggy? (Just before he cops a feel…)
Our sweater-wearing super-spy fares less well, I’m afraid. And this episode loses its CHARM (hah!) in the second half with the dueling German-accented scientist/villain combo. Of note, Malko (Martin Kosleck) starred in the 1964 B-movie The Flesh-Eaters. a deserted island classic. Also the the great Count Yorga himself, Robert Quarry as Malko’s main lackey, is pretty pathetic here.
Some favorite riffs:
Crow “My David Lynch hair, No!” just because I love the films of David Lynch.
H.A.R.M. (Human Aetiological Relations Machine)
Mike: Oh, that stands for Huge Angular Red Marshmallows.
Crow: Hirsute Astronauts Revile Massachusetts.
Tom: Heuristic Analog Rental Meat.
…and later, Mike: So H.A.R.M. stands for Hot And Ready, Man.
Mike, as the scientist: I hate the outside, screw you outside.
And for whatever reason, I love when Prof. Bobo as lawyer concludes his opening statement (NOT quoting Abraham Lincoln) with: “Thank you, won’t you?” (Didn’t Mike blow up Bobo’s homeworld? Maybe I should just relax.) Then…
Crow: Why were you choking the monkey?
Mike: Cause Bobo’s such a …. hey!
And of course,
The James Bondian “Da dah DAH DAAAA!”
used repeatedly by the riffers to underline the severe lack of drama and tension throughout the “film.”
Wasn’t Barbara Bouchet in an episode of Star Trek?
Loran Alan Davis says:
November 19th, 2009 at 9:33 am
Wasn’t Barbara Bouchet in an episode of Star Trek?
Yes, in the episode “By Any Other Name”.
This episode is hilarious. Just want to put that out there.
Also, there are definitely more Daleisms after this episode.
Wasn’t Mike involved in destroying the Planet of the Apes, commenting on arming the missile?
And when the hero in the movie gropes Ava’s breast, does anyone know if that was an accident, did she slug him when they ended the scene. If accidental why not reshoot the scene?
Fun Fact: Barbara Bouchet (Ava) was in Casino Royale, Playboy, and is now eligible for Social Security. :shock:
aside from killing alot of people, getting the innocent squarehead scientist killed, making for an absolutly repulsive love interest and hanging around the judo range alot, the *ahem* hero of the *ahem* film didn’t acomplish a whole lot. bobo on the other hand could take perry mason to the mat anytime. ‘and in the words of that great statesman Abraham Lincoln………thank you, won’t you?’
All I can say about this movie is that my cardigan alerted me to it while I was on the judo range.
As much as I will always like the basic host segments from all the eras to a certain degree, I have to say I find this courtroom scene to be a mini masterpiece. From making fun of all of the country lawyer cliches, to the little Amish boy, to the expletives used for the first and only time on the show, to it being filmed in black and white, it’s a real pleasure to watch.
Bravo sirs and madams, I say bravo. And panties.
I agree the host segments are more of a draw than the movie. I wonder if they purposefully chose a bland film so the trial scenes would stand out more. They are a wonderful amalgam of courtroom movie tropes.
The actual movie, however is just a mess. It leaves me with so many questions. Like: Is a spore gun really any better than just a gun? Why do the bad guys continually show up at the house where the agent is staying instead of just going on with their plan to poison crops? And what’s with the antidote not working? What the hell is a Judo range? And why a duck?
I want to go on record and say that every time Dr. Stefonik speaks, it’s like a razor across my brain.
It’s a tribute to MST3k that I can actually sit through this abhorrently botched flick and not go crazy. But two episodes from now I may not be able to control my hate.
“Five hours of staring at the window finally pays off”
I actually love rice (and my name is Mike!), and sometimes when I eat it, I say “AAAAAAAHHHHH! Basmati! Extreme Rice, WOOOOH!”
Little wonder I usually eat alone….
Terrific host segments! Bill and Kevin were great in their assigned multi-roles. I guess I have to give it to Mike also since he directed as well.
Drooling old guyspy, hot babes, judo ranges, spore galore, a man named Jan, suave encyclopedia salesmen, Prince thug, acme host segs, I give it a 4.6.
Dan @ 11-Yes, I belive you are right about Josh. If I remember correctly he inhaled as he spoke for Gypsy.
The courtroom scene is one of my favorites. Bobo as Matlock is hysterical. One of my favorite segments of all times (with the observers singing ‘When I Held Your Brain in My Arms” and Servo’s ‘Canada Song’ being contenders for 2nd place).
The big disappointment in the riffing for me was the glaring omission of any Three’s Company references. Peter Mark Richman played the Reverend Snow (Chrissy’s father) for several seasons. I had to interject my own just to satisfy my brain :-)
All in all very enjoyable because of the segments…and particularly the courtroom segment. Bobo/Murphy seems to be hitting a stride in deranged and disturbing here that continues for the rest of the show’s life (“Heaven’s I’m nude!”) that morphs into sublime & brilliant.
“You know it might be easier just to shoot the guy!”
..Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m headed for the judo range.
Ah, pies. I’m not all that good at making them but at least I know never to use Red Delicious apples in them. There may have been a time once when they were Delicious and not merely Red but that time is past. And I ain’t never used no warm water! I didn’t steal no bike neither!
This isn’t a bad episode, just kind of dull because the movie is dull. Not merely dull, but dull and kind of repulsive. Of the various cheapjack spy movies MST3K did over the years Agent for H.A.R.M. is undeniably the worst. Having Wendell Corey pop up in a few scenes only makes it worse because it reminds me how much more impressive he was in Rear Window.
“Yay, guys, I’m not a virgin any more!”
>>>Wasn’t Mike involved in destroying the Planet of the Apes, commenting on arming the missile?
Well, that was more an instinctively-trying-to-be-helpful thing. The words were out of his mouth before he quite realized what he was doing.
#28-That’s exactly the point I’ve been trying to make since “The Deadly Mantis.” I’m the guy Sampo’s (probably) referring to that keeps saying Mike’s only really responsible for destroying the Camping Planet. That aside, the host segments are really hilarious and save this episode. Apart from “Danger!! Death Ray,” I never really cared for the spy movie eps. Probably my favorite riff in this one is “He’s not so much a spy as a government-sanctioned serial killer.” Loved the satire of the whole “EXTREME” craze in the opening segment.
It’s time for another 60’s spy film adventure, but this time we’ve got yellow cardigans, baby/women and Prince. That just might be too much for anyone to handle.
“Agent for H.A.R.M” is aptly named, because the film did attempt to harm me. This is your typical wannabe Bond/Flint/Man from U.N.C.L.E adventure with a lower budget and dumber plot. Turns out some crazy scientist has defected from behind the Iron Curtain, and brought with him a powerful flesh eating fungus. He comes to the US and starts to work on an antidote. Of course there are bad buys who want to dust our crops with the fungus and render us jelly-like. So the H.A.R.M (Hugely Addled Ridiculous Morons) dispatches their best agent, Adam Chance. Um, sure. He basically wanders around the whole movie doing very little, but attempting to hit on the scientist’s baby-faced daughter. Eventually there is some action, but it’s mostly lame and the ending is filled with Adam looking smug.
This movie never really gets going, and that’s pretty bad for a spy film. The intrigue is dull and limp. The action is thrill-less. And the romance is kinda gross actually. Our lead has all the charisma of paint chips and the villain isn’t the least bit threatening. The best thing about the movie is the wildly 60’s music. Very John Barry-esque. Seriously though, it’s gonna take a Herculean effort to make this movie entertaining.
Mike and the bots are game, and do get some great stuff in there. The opening escape scene is hilarious because of its low budget nature, and it gets the riffing off to a great start, and the opening credits are very pointy and fun. But once the movie starts, I too miss the credits. Unfortunately, the guys aren’t able to overcome the sluggish pace of the film. The riffing is really inconsistent for me, with some very good laughs but also a lot that don’t connect. Mostly because this movie is missing most of the great wacky gizmos and crazy action scenes that would make great riffing. In the end, the momentum of boredom was too much and I nearly fell asleep.
For me the host segments outshine the theater bits. Mike Nelson: Destroyer of Worlds goes on trial. The black and white photography and Bobo behaving like a bad southern lawyer were pretty entertaining. I especially loved how he derailed Brain Guy’s testimony. Throw in the “Witness” parody and it was a good time all the way around. This episode also gave us the phrase “Extreme Rice!!”
“Agent for H.A.R.M.” doesn’t’ really connect for me. Parts are funny, but the movie is just to slow and the riffing not spirited enough to overcome. The host segments do help, so this episode ends up with three stars out of five.
To briefly revive the subject of riffs that are beyond the pale, the riffs on Wendell Corey’s obvious drunkenness lose their humor when you know he died two years later of cirrhosis of the liver as a result of his alcoholism.
(“Wow, I didn’t know that. Thanks for ruining those jokes for us, Steve.” No problem, just doing my job.)
On a non-alcoholic subject, I kept waiting for them to sing, “Oh, I wish that I could be Wendell Corey.”
I wonder why the direction is so flat. Gerd Oswald was one of the best directors on the original “The Outer Limits,” but here, he brings nothing to the game. And you’d think, this being a pilot, that he’d have had extra filming time to get fancy.
And, @ pearliemae (#8): Bill did spout obscenities. I remember Mary Jo writing somewhere about how it cracked her up, seeing Crow swear like a sailor.
You have to love how the movie suggests Chance might be going to Naples (exotic location! Oooh!), but then Wendell Corey cuts him off and tells him he’s only going to San Diego. (Actually Marina Del Rey… I recognized the street sign in one shot. Don’t know if the house is still there, or if anyone’s helming it.)
So… I thought Bobo was doing Matlock but someone else says he’s doing Atticus Finch. Who’s right?
And that’s Robert “Exidor” Donner as the morgue attendant. (“My apologies for my odd performance.”) The last time we saw him he was the incompetent comic relief in “Catalina Caper.”
Oh, and I do want to give the movie EXTREEEEEEEEME! kudos for having the cojones to spend five minutes staring at Pacific Coast Highway, pretending that the distant car parking at the restaurant is an exciting action scene. (“Actual footage from the Highway Department.”) After a while I began to stare at the makes of the cars, wondering what they were. It reminds me of the Monty Python segment about broadcasting motorways and garnering high ratings.
“Meet me at the karate rink!”
Nice one. Movie’s good, typical spy junk. Host segments are so extremely awesome! Just a lot of fun all around.
“Screw you, outside!” is still used around the Gummo household, especially during the allergy season.
A horrible TV-style movie, and perfect for MST. The lamest spy ever, even his spy equipment is clunky and boring.
“Judo range” is right up there with “walnut ranch” in the pantheon of MST movie non sequiturs.
Without the riffing, this movie would be more unwatchable than Manos (which I have watched unMST’d; it’s kinda like hypnosis).
32 Thomas K. Dye says:
So… I thought Bobo was doing Matlock but someone else says he’s doing Atticus Finch. Who’s right?
______________
Actually I think the lawyer was a bit of Matlock and a bit of Atticus Finch. They were both Southern lawyers who went around in seersucker suits mopping their brows as they orated.
Bobo, with the whole “Panties” thing, was also channeling Joseph (“Have you no sense of decency, sir?”) Welch.
I thought the “panties” gag was a reference to two things: first, the movie Anatomy of a Murder in which much courtroom drama revolved around some panties; indeed, the mere fact that Preminger made a movie in which the word “panties” was uttered kicked up a real-world fuss. Excellent movie, by the way, that is largely (but not completely) free from the romantic idealization of the trial by jury as a search for truth.
Second, there was a 6th-season Mike episode in which Crow, incensed that Mike ripped up his underwear in hopes of making a rope long enough to climb down from the SOL to Earth, starts chanting, “Panties, panties, panties…”
“Spazz Chop!”
“…[E]very single actor who had been an on-camera regular when the show began had been replaced with other performers. Has that ever happened on any other show?”
I’d bet at least one soap opera has done it. I’m much too lazy to research that, of course.
I have a lot favorite riffs in this episode.
“I drink a lot. How come I don’t make the DeWar’s profile?”
“Draw up the rib cage, stick out the butt and let the girdle do its work.”
“Is there a stud here, besides me.”
“Ohhh, you lucky trunks.” “Get ready to gift wrap a beautiful package.” Followed quickly by, “Yuck he’s getting off on this,” as we see Chance listening in on the phone conversation as he lies in bed.
Then there’s, “Disturbing little whiskers here,” as Adam lightly strokes the girl’s chin.
I really like “Harvard lockjaw” voiced riffs.
“Dad. I passed the BAR Dad.”
“I wouldn’t want to put a lead pill into the old family jewels.”
“He’s putting the squish-squash to the old wind tube.”
There’s also the unspoken riff when Mike and ‘Bots notice the long thumbs on the secretary.
I give episode 5 stars. I like the riffing of the movie and the host segments. It was nice to see Bobo get his moment of glory when he broke down the Brain Guy on the stand.
Now, does anyone else feel sorry for the henchman that is strangled by Adam Chance with a wire hanger? Sure, it was time to see some kind of action in the movie, but Adam should have just shot the guy and taken the wheel of the van. No one could see who was driving anyway.
The movie is so flat and dull that it does drag things down a bit, but the good quality riffing helps smooth it over much of the time. The smug unlikeable hero with the overgrown baby heroine make for a good pair for them to lampoon.
But as said, the host segments outshine it with Kevin on particularly sterling form.
“Now, does anyone else feel sorry for the henchman that is strangled by Adam Chance with a wire hanger? Sure, it was time to see some kind of action in the movie, but Adam should have just shot the guy and taken the wheel of the van. No one could see who was driving anyway.”
========================
Another odd thing about that bit. Why didn’t the strangleee just hit the brakes hard? It’d ease up on being strangled and maybe knock out super smug spy.
I am shocked that my favorite riff has yet to be mentioned:
Eva: Are you coming or do I swim alone?
Tom (or was it Crow?): Yes, and yes.
I was glad I was watching a recording of this the first time I saw it because I fell out of my seat laughing and had to rewind it.
The same happened with Crow’s deposition, which is one of those things that proves that censoring often makes things funnier than they’d be uncensored, which I’m sure they were counting on.
And seriously, what was up with the coroner’s line delivery? It’s right up there with last week’s, “This can’t BE! You’re DEAD!” for most bizarre line reads ever.
I believe this was the first MST episode to be rated TV-14. I was 10 at the time, so that was a big deal for me!
Crow’s comments when Adam is writing: “Well, I’m running out of paper now…” still crack me up! And this movie is perfect MST fare for me. It’s got so much stupditiy, smugness and sluttiness that it needs to be mocked.
I think the cast replacing Sampo is talking about refers to different people playing different parts, like Dicks York and Sergeant. It’s tricky because while most of the SOL crew was the same, just with different people under them (save Mike), the Mads were replaced with new crew and characters to go with them.
Still it isn’t often you see an entire onscreen cast replaced with such success. Probably true that Soaps have done it, but who’s wants to include them just to keep MST3k from having recognition? And don’t try the “Just trying to keep it all legit” route.
Stupid soaps ruining all my fun.
Has there already been a weekend discussion for “Ickiest Hero in a MST3K Movie”? If there hasn’t, I nominate Agent Adam for that (dis)honor.
Also, for my money, Agent Adam had the stupidest gun I’ve ever seen in a spy movie. What, did he get that as a prize out of a box of Cocoa Puffs? The fact that he was able to kill Prince the Hitman from 100 feet away in a moving airplane doesn’t make up for the fact that that gun couldn’t have an effective range of more than 25 feet.
My fave riff on this one still has to be, “Day Six of the cardigan: My funk overwhelms me.”
And yes, Doctor Who had either recast or replaced all its principals by Season Three (when the illness of William Hartnell finally forced them to come up with the concept of “regeneration”.) But it’s definitely a rarity, and a sign of a great central concept that can withstand lots of cast changes.
And the Amish segment kills. :)
A comment on the IMDb page for this movie identifies Adam Chance’s gun as a “Smith & Wesson Model 61 ‘Escort'”, a .22 with a bad reputation for unreliability. I must defer to overenthusiastic connoisseurs of obscure firearms for confirmation of this.
And about Agent Smug shooting Prince in his airplane, one of the more ridiculous, often used, ploys of movies (0bviously including many mst3000s) is the unerring aim of good guys vs. terrible bad guy shooting (think Space Mutiny and Krankor and friends).