Next weekend at Dragon*Con, Bill and Trace will take part in a panel that I guarantee will take place in too small a room: “Crow vs. Crow,” in which the two actors that portrayed Crow Tiberious (“the”) Robot will discuss the character they played. In preparation for that, Trace recently tweeted a request for suggestions of the most memorable Crow moments (so they can put together a video featuring them). I was going to tweet back with a link to the Weekend Discussion Thread that SURELY (don’t call me Shirley!) we must have done! Then I checked and realized we hadn’t done one!
So, to help them out, let’s settle on the best Crow moments. You get to choose TWO and TWO ONLY moments from the Trace years and two from the Bill years.
Me: For the Trace years I’d go with the “I don’t get you” bit from “Monster-A-Go-Go” and “Am I qualified?” from “King Dinosaur.” From the Bill years: “Turkey Volume Guessing Man” from “Riding with Death” and “Mike becomes a werecrow” from “Werewolf.”
What are your picks?
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I’ll just do one from each. One of my favorites from the Bill years is Crow doing the Go-Go dance in “The Girl With Gold Boots.”
From the Trace years, I love when Crow is trying to help Gypsy understand him in “Moanster A-Go-Go” though the more famous part of that bit is of course, Tom saying, “I’m the wind, baby!”
For me, Crow will always be summed up in eight words:
“I wanna decide who lives and who dies!”
– Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
I was too late catching-on to MST3K for Trace as Crow, but the Bill favorites are: “WOMEN” from “Hobgobblins” followed in second place by Crow “BASHING MALTESE MEN” from “Final Justice.”
The one that immediately springs to mind for me is the “let me on the information superhighway” bit from Starfighters. I love the little dance Crow does while he’s on hold.
Also, his “hum didda hee hee” song. What WAS that? I wanted to ask Trace about it when I met him at a Cinematic Titanic show, but I didn’t have the balls.
Trace year nominations are as visual as they were for what was said and how they were said. Trace really was terrific in visually expressing through Crow ‘facial expressions’ and body movements;
1. I’m not sure which episode, but the skit was Joel setting the Bots temperments to be subservient. Crow’s “See this butt? Kick this butt!” while bending over had me rolling.
2. The preceding just got better when Joel decided to re-set back to normal during the commercial break and we return to see & hear Crow growling ‘Dont you ever touch me again!’ with eyes shifting back and forth furiously.
No slam to Bill but he was not as experienced as Trace was puppet wise and had a much shorted run.
1. Agree with MP @ # Maltese men rant.
2. Skit with Mike as a Japenese chef and Crow ranting at him ‘Thats nice Mike cut my hand off and FEED it to me!’
My Trace as Crow moments:
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians: “I wanna decide who lives and who dies!”
Last of the Wild Horses: Loved the Evil Mirror Crow. “Oh Typical, the Agony booth is out of order.”
For Bill:
The Thing That Couldn’t Die: Crow’s Civil War Documentary. It just makes me smile.
Horror of Party Beach: Crow’s Cambot shaking meltdown when Flavia calls him a ‘golden spider duck’. “How about lean and virile bull or slender love machine!”
I’ll just say Trace’s Crow on trial for Cheating (515) was a big favorite of mine. For the Bill years, i’ll go with his Women documentary (907).
Patrick Swayze Christmas.
The Crow moments so far are great and some would make my list. In the interest of adding something new to the list, I’ll avoid repeats. Here are two more moments from Trace and Bill.
Trace:
1) Crow in the fashion show in Teenagers From Outer Space
2) Crow as “Sir Giggles Von Laughs-a-lot
Bill:
1) Crow gets burned by Tom’s Death Ray in “Danger Death Ray”. He really shrieks hilariously when his eyeballs experience secondary ignition.
2) Crow dressed like the monster in “Phantom Planet”.
Crow being blamed for hitting Joel when it was Timmy and Crow saying,”I suppose you like him better!”–Fire Maidens of Outer Space..Crow details the Van Patten Project–Master Ninja..Crow dressed as General Timothy Van Patten–Master Ninja 2…Crow sings of his love for Estelle Winwood–The Magic Sword..Just to name a few.There’s so many to choose from,but these come to mind..
Trace’s Crow bugging Mike in the “Is it 11.30?” yet bit. He manages to escape being annoying as he repeats the question over and over, instead coming off as winsome and cute.
Favorite new Crow bit is from Poopie where Bill finds a mysterious, booger like object on Crow’s beak.
Aside from what was already mentioned…
Trace: Interrupting the elaborate-looking murder mystery dinner party with “I did it!” in “Bloodlust”.
Bill: “You know you want me, baby!”
Trace years: Crow telling Joel, “You’re not my real father!” after Joel says he loves him at the end of “Pod People”.
Bill years: Crow telling the crew a’la Bruce Willis that, “The vice president just asked us to save the Earth- anyone wanna say ‘no’?” at the beginning of the second summer blockbuster review.
Since I just referred to #3 in an earlier post I’ll make up for it now.
Bill’s Crow was terrific in Space Children as the Jackie Coogin naughty fashion designer. His designer descriptions along with his snarling ‘Share the Pain’ comments were just over the top! This was just classic.
I will put a third vote on – “I wanna decide who lives and who dies!”. That’s Crow in a nutshell, and we love him for it.
– “Earth vs. Soup”
– The play on the life of Peter Graves
And my brother’s absolute favorite – the sensibly pants. :-)
Personally, I think this video that they are putting together should start with a clip from Phase IV where Trace first utters, “Kitty!”. :lol:
Trace:
1. Crow as Jack Elam. “To be like the e-lam…”
2. “Am I qualified?” ’nuff said.
Bill:
1. Turkey Volume Guessing Man. Really, how could you NOT go with this one?
2. Crow as tormenting Mike with Dr. Z narration. “Hello, Squeegee, my old friend. I love you.”
Trace: almost impossible as there are so many amazing moments:
Patrick Swayze Christmas
Bill: the hilarious “we had the masks…sorry to rush the Halloween season” host segment in Track of the Moonbeast
For Trace, Crow’s part of the song “What a Pleasant Journey” from “The Girl in Lovers Lane”.
“Earth vs. Soup” and “Robot on the Run”.
1. Trace: Crow’s “Kim Cattrall” song.
2. Bill: Crow time-travels a second time to convince Mike that he really should keep working in menial temp jobs.
I’M THE CRIME BILL BANG BANG
I’M THE CRIME BILL BANG BANG
I GET SHOT AT EVERY DAY
Bill:
Crow goes back in time to rescue Mike. “Well, the cheese isn’t gonna cut itself.”
Crow’s documentary about women.
Be Back with Trace’s shortly.
I’ve got so many favourite moments from Trace’s time on the show, but the two that stick out for me are Information Superhighway segemnts from Starfighters and Peter Graves attending the UofM from Beginning of the End.
I don’t have too many Bill segments that come to mind (not so much down to Bill as the fact his time on the show was half that of Trace plus IMO the host segments weren’t anything like as good during Bill’s time)- I was going to nominate the film anti-preservation segment until I realised that was actually Trace. Sorry.
YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME BABY!!!!
I think this is such a great topic, and everyone has already mentioned classic after classic, a surfeit of riches.
For some odd reason, the first thing that popped into my head is the segment in Master Ninja II where the ‘bots design their own custom vans. I just love Crow’s economical description of the insides, with “an ergonomically designed desk” plus a shelf for his reference material, juxtaposed with his frenzied description of a mural on the outside with his eyes poppin’ out slammin’ the clutch down…
I’ll probably come back and put other moments down when I’ve had time to think about it…
Way too many
I like the Ring of Terror operating scene with Crow moving the clock since the clock time cant move ‘by itself’ as it did in the movie where time passed during the autopsy…
Crow is Elam was great too
Really there are too many LOL moments though
Trace Moments:
“Bloodlust”-ruining the murder mystery dinner party “I did it!”
“Beginning of the End”-The Peter Graves Story, how can you not love “I’m Peter Graves, and I’m looking for the nadatorium….Thank you, I’m Peter Graves”
Bill Moments:
“Space Mutiny”-The run with Crow as a Vallerian, classic.
“Agent for H.A.R.M.”-The video deposition at Mike’s trial, can’t believe no one has mentioned this yet.
1. “Patrick Swayze Christmas.” A classic!
2. Crow is a Valerian. (He thinks. Maybe.)
Crows black and white video depostion and
playing a detective on “The Sinister Urge”
Trace:
-Crow’s performance as the rich casino patron always cracks me up “Ahhh NELson!” and”Why…here comes Tom Servo!”
-The Kim Cattrall song. “I thought your dress was really cute at the Ace awards.”
Bill:
-The Bellarian sketch. “Hi, Mike. I’m a Bellarian.”
-The Women sketch. “And then this woman, at least I think it was a woman, she…..MARRIED me!”
Hmmm…..
TRACE:
1) The Kim Catrall song
2) Crow’s PSA for FAPS
BILL:
1) Crow’s documentary on women
2) Crow’s video deposition for Mike’s trial
Trace as Crow: “I Wanna Decide Who lives And Who dies.”
Bill as Crow: The Droppy The Water Droplet Sketch.
Trace: Crow with contact lenses.
Bill: Crow and Tom playing “Dog and Bear”. Kills me every time. “…but my lifeforce was spent and so I died. Then Tom took it too far!”
hmm, favorites…
A definite Trace favorite was when Crow breaks up Gypsy Moon with his raunchy new lyrics in Clash of the Moons.
Another fave is the whole “dress slacks” set of segments from Killer Shrews. Poor Crow :(
For Bill, Crow’s slow descent into eeeeevil always makes me chuckle, as does DEBBIEEEEEEEEE!
Trace:
-“I like ken, he is my good friend, and I love him” song from one of the fugitive alien 2 sketches
-Sir giggles von mix-a-lot,,,, laughs-a-lot!
Bill:
-Preparation for Coatimundi man From Pumaman
-Spare Crow living in 1980s Wisconsin from time chasers
Perhaps a tossup between “Let’s have a Patrick Swayse Christmas this year” (btw, has it become a classic yet) and his striptease in Girl in Gold Boots.
As others have mentioned, this is a great idea for a weekend discussion thread!
It would be great if we weren’t limited to just two Crow moments for each performer, but since that’s the case, here goes:
TRACE’S CROW
1.) “A Patrick Swayze Christmas” from SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS – easily one of the funniest moments from the Comedy Central era.
2.) “Peter Graves Goes to the University of Minnesota” from BEGINNING OF THE END – a great example of Trace’s energetic work as he puts a lot of enthusiasm into Crow’s drawn-out, repetitive screenplay (Trace’s impression of Peter Graves is hilarious, too).
BILL’S CROW
1.) “Tickle Me Carlo Lombardi” from THE SHE CREATURE – as Crow goes from being completely gung-ho and creepy about his new Tickle Me Carlo Lombardi idea to abandoning the concept because it’s kind of unnerving, Bill runs the gamut here. He puts a disturbing spin on his disturbing lines, he sings a jingle, he shows nonchalance as Crow leaves Mike battling with the doll at the end – a real high point of the sketches from the Sci-Fi Channel era.
2.) “Turkey Volume Guessing Man” from RIDING WITH DEATH – again, like with the Tickle Me Carlo Lombardi skit, Bill shows a lot of range, energy, and hilarity here in a sketch that is iconic of his portrayal of Crow.
The Mole People – Bill Crow’s archeological dig: “This Me or Me-s apparently had difficulty conceiving”
Trace’s Crow ambushing Servo’s Tibby song.
Bill’s Crow doing a report on Maltese Men.
The “loaner” Crow bit is a favorite of mine. The sputtering, the cool AM radio playing The Allman Brothers Band – I’m smiling just thinking about it. “To have said goodbye to things!”
For Bill: The Jackie Coogan fashion show from “The Space Children.” Honestly, I encourage anyone to bellow Crow’s phrase after a particularly tough day:
“I’m hurting… I’ve got to lash out… and we’re gonna SEE THIS THING THROUGH TO THE END!!!”
:twisted:
For Trace: “I’m Peter Graves…”
:smile:
It would be grand to see this little confrontation on some place like YouTube!
Any time Crow gets destroyed or lit on fire or dismembered in some way. That scream Trace does it fantastic.
Trace years:
When Crow flies into Servo’s behind (Starfighters)
Escobar’s hair transplants. Man, Trace was brilliant at making Crow seem alive.
Bill:
“Saddle soap! Cleaning compound of deceit!” (Blood Waters of Dr. Z)
And, naturally, the table dance he gives Servo.
Trace’s Crow:
– Monster A Go Go: “Dum da hee hee hee, who-a who-a”.
– Beast of Yucca Flats: The Film Anti-Preservation Society is still the best idea that was ever featured on MST3K!
Bill’s Crow:
– The “Ode” to the Cigarette Hag from “The Deadly Bees”. I was wetting my pants from laughing so hard the first time I saw that.
– I don’t remember the episode, but the one where Crow is drunk and repeatedly calls out “DEBBIE!” That was particularly funny because I interpreted it as an inside joke at Paul Chaplin, whose wife’s name is Debbie.
Crow was always great when he panicked. Both Trace and Bill were really good at that.
I think my favorite moments were Crow’s Video Deposition from Mike trial, and when Crow was extruded into an ingot. “I’m MINE! All MINE!”
Oh there’s so many…
From “The Brute Man” when Pearl puts Crow in charge, and Crow goes mad with power, I love it when he tells Gypsy, “You, may live.”
From “The Blood Waters of Dr. Z,” I it love when Crow goes mad, and imitates the good doctor. “Ah the squeegee, I love you!”
To name two Trace moments that no one else has (unless I missed them):
Crow’s description of his ideal father from “I Accuse My Parents.” The dreamy way he describes Dad crushing everyone in his path cracks me up every time.
Crow’s escape attempt from the movie. Has a couple of my favorite Crow lines: “I calculated the odds of this succeeding, versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid and… I went ahead anyway” and “Well, look at that. ‘Breach hull, all die.’ Even had it underlined.”
Before I read the rest of them I have but three words to say: Fashion means Coogan!
For me, Crow will always be summed up in eight words:
“I wanna decide who lives and who dies!”
– Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
I just could not improve on the above comment. Except to add “Patrick Swayze Christmas”.