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Weekend Discussion Thread: Drab and Dreary MoviesHaving discussed the dark and dreary “Brute Man” this week, I thought we’d find out what you think is the drabbest, dreariest movie MST3K ever riffed.
My pick: “Radar Secret Service” — a gray movie full of identical men in identical gray suits and hats getting in and out of identical gray cars (except for the one with the giant metal volleyball on top, of course). Sid Melton lightens things up a little, but not enough to save it. Runner up: “The Undead.” When Digger Smolken is the liveliest character in the movie, you know it’s bad. What’s your pick? 169 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Drab and Dreary Movies”Commenting at Satellite News
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Radar Secret Service and The Undead may have been drab and dreary, but Red zone cuba’s drab dreariness sucked away your soul at the same time.
The She Creature, definitely. I mean it’s a monster movie for god’s sake: HOW did they make it so boring? At one point the monster seems to get bored and then walks away for no reason instead of just killing the “hero”. The great demonstration of psychic phenomena is slightly moving a man’s glasses up and down. However, the line “You’ll hang for this, King.” said to the dog may be one of my favorites.
I’d say “Monster a Go-Go” fits this description. It was so dull and gray that they couldn’t even get up the ambition to do an actual ending to the movie.
There are too many to choose just one, but Screaming; Skull ranks pretty high as does The Atomic Brain.
No wait, I can choose one: Red Zone Cuba.
I see Sitting Duck beat me to it!
Brute Man gets my top vote. Both the story and the cinematography really are murky & dark.
Killer Shrews is a close second. Lots of uninteresting talky scenes, stretching out infinitely in fine tones of gray.
I’d also give a mention to Beast of Yucca Flats, for its unrelenting dreary scenes.
“High School Big Shot”? Or about half the movies in season one…
Brute Man is so depressing because he lives in some sort of weird low-ceiling dwelling that looks like a condo for trolls. Also he’s Rondo Hatton.
Anything Coleman Francis. That man knew how to do dreary!
A vote for The Girl in Lover’s Lane, an episode I saw on DVD for the first time last night.
J&TB start out at this at top form. The movie just… hates the fact it exists. It is the most generic-looking film I’ve ever seen.
Oh this one is easy..HAMLET !!
So boring, so drab…it sucked the life right out of me. So much its the ONLY MST3K I have not been able to watch all the way through.
* out of the eps that are available to watch.
I actually think the Undead is among the better films. Sure, it;s cheesy but the plot moves, it doesn’t look bad cinematography-wise and va va va voom Allison Hayes.
As had been said, any of the Coleman Francis flicks and Killer Shrews are probably the worst.
Oh and Castle of Fu Man-bloody-Chu
Definitely “Hamlet”. Shakespeare is boring enough, but heavy black and white German “Hamlet” is too much for me.
“High School Big Shot” is the most depressing MST movie ever. It made my high school years look cheerful and fun by comparison.
While Red Zone Cuba is life/soul draining, it does have (on an infinitely lesser level) an Ingmar Bergman film feel to it, after viewing it, which does make it oddly compelling while also enormously depressing. While rather bizarre it does have a plot, and, of course, scenestealer Cherokee Jack :wink: .
I’d have to go for a movie with a great title and nonexistent plot: “The Starfighters”. WHEN WILL SOMETHING HAPPEN!
Coleman Francis would seem to have this one sewn up, but the film that comes to mind for me is Starfighters. Even though it’s shot in “vivid” color, I would argue that it’s such a drab little piece of…movie, if it HAD been shot in B/W it would actually fail to show up on the negative.
Special award for dreariest short: my vote goes to Cheating.
ck beat me to it by mere seconds….
Award for most drab and dreary short goes to “Cheating”
While Starfighters is monumentally dull, it’s not what I’d call “drab and dreary.” I have to agree with everyone else who says Francis Coleman in general and specifically Red Zone Cuba.
I purchased that particular episode about two weeks ago. I have watched it upwards of ten times in that period. I still cannot describe to anyone what the hell is happening in that movie. It’s like my brain represses the memory of it as I watch! On the upside, each viewing feels like I’m seeing it for the first time.
Wait…is that an upside?
I think Hamlet fits as well, but at least I already know the plot to that one and can follow along reasonably well.
I think ‘Space Travellers’ deserves a mention (it was perhaps the only MST3K movie to almost put me to sleep), but ‘Monster A Go -Go’ definitely wins out. Nobody’s heart seemed to be in it. Also, I know it’s not MST3K, but ‘Hollywood After Dark’ was pretty damn bleak as well.
Yes, definitely Red Zone Cuba and Hamlet. They’re in the top two. But let’s not forget “The Creeping Terror”. Not only was it drab and dreary but there was virtually NO dialogue and the whole movie was done in V/O. Then there was the repetitive music which suggested that the filmmakers couldn’t get the rights to a whole song so they just looped 3 seconds of something and played it ad nauseam. A truly awful film and yet it doesn’t quite edge out Red Zone Cuba or Hamlet.
I immediately thought of Hamlet. Then, after giving it much more thought………I’m sticking with Hamlet.
Yeah….for “drab and dreary”, I gotta go with “High School Big Shot”. Every frame of that movie feels like a lead weight on top of my head. I’d also probably pick “Ring Of Terror” as a first runner-up. Even though they keep making vague attempts at…um…”tension”, you can practically hear the film crew snoring off-camera. It’s as though the actors aren’t even buying into the premise…so why should we?
and #18: Colin – I’ve gotta second that vote for “Hollywood After Dark”. Yikes! What a dreary, depressing road to NOTHING! I’ve never been able to make myself watch it a second time. Once was MOREenough.
Yeah….for “drab and dreary”, I gotta go with “High School Big Shot”. Every frame of that movie feels like a lead weight on top of my head. I’d also probably pick “Ring Of Terror” as a first runner-up. Even though they keep making vague attempts at…um…”tension”, you can practically hear the film crew snoring off-camera. It’s as though the actors aren’t even buying into the premise…so why should we?
and #18: Colin – I’ve gotta second that vote for “Hollywood After Dark”. Yikes! What a dreary, depressing road to NOTHING! I’ve never been able to make myself watch it a second time. Once was MORE than enough.
OOPS!…..Sorry for the double post!
“High School Big Shot”–one dreary, depressing film, made even more dreary and depressing by the fact that Tom Pittman (Marvin Grant) died in an accident before it was released.
“Red Zone Cuba”–absolutely stupefying. It makes me wonder if Coleman Francis was suffering from clinical depression when he made this movie. See also: “The Skydivers” and “The Beast of Yucca Flats”.
Whooo, baby, they’ve done some really drab and dreary flicks over the years, ones which defied their valiant attempts to extract comedy gold.
“High School Big Shot” was such a bleak film that to this day I can’t bring myself to watch that episode again. “Kitten with a Whip” was another that’s just too drab to watch despite the presence of a hot young Ann-Margaret.
Other drab flicks (for me, anyway) included “Stranded in Space”, “Mighty Jack” (what the hell was that film supposed to be about anyway? I think Crow asked that question)”The Unearthly”, “Space Travellers”, “Tormented”, “The Brain that would Die”, “The Atomic Brain”, “Teen-age Crime Wave”, “The Thing that could’t Die”, “The She Creature”, “The Deadly Bees”, and “Hamlet”.
Top five drab and dreary MST 3K films:
5. High School Big Shot
4. The Girl in Lovers’ Lane
3. Radar Secret Service
2. The Dead Talk Back
1. The Skydivers
“The Skydivers” wins hands down because I find its dreariness eerily compelling. For all Francis’s faults, he paints a pretty good picture of small town rural ennui; if it weren’t for all the oddball people like the Scotsman and the guitar-slinging weirdo I’d actually totally believe that watching idiots jump from planes was the most exciting thing in their lives.
All good choices so far, but a movie doesn’t have to be black and white to be dreary. I submit as evidence “The Touch of Satan” and “Boggy Creek II: the Legend Continues”. The latter of these two even has a dreary title.
As for movies being so dark as to be unwatchable (that is, so poorly lit that nothing can be seen on screen), “Ring of Terror” wins hands down.
How could i have forgotten this one: The Phantom Planet.
It made space adventure dull! How you do that with something as goofy as the Solarites in it?!
Oh, and yes to High School Big Shot. I was practically looking up how to tie a noose by the time that one was over.
Personally, I think the dreariest movie done by any of MST3K or its permutations is The Doomsday Machine. Even before it suddenly transforms into another movie altogether, it’s Just Dullsville, Man.
Monster a Go-Go and the Coleman Francis trilogy. Creeping Terror is also terribly shot, half the time you can’t tell what’s going on.
Surprised nobody has mentioned Invasion of the Neptune Men. The ad-nauseam flying sequences are very dull and drab indeed. The whole movie sounds like a scratchy record.
‘Blood Waters of Dr. Z.’ I know it’s in color and has a goofy costume, but this movie depresses the hell out of me for some reason.
Prince of Space always really bored me.
Rather surprised by at least a few of the nominees – for me there’s nothing that touches Red Zone Cuba or The Skydivers. Even the riffing can’t save those two….
Tastes really differ. I completely agree with Sampo about Radar SS, but I loved The Undead. It is possible that the dullest MST3K movie cannot be mentioned because a fortiori we can no longer remember it existed.
I would nominate: Radar SS; Terror from 5K and Mole People. However, the movies I hated the most were Crash of the Moons and its companion film, then add a nice helping of General Hospital episodes…yeesh.
Let’s not forget “The Dead Talk Back.” This drab film can best be decsribed as not being released..it escaped!
I agree with PrivateIron. The General Hospital shorts were indeed quite dull, dreary and painful. Add that insipid organ music to the mix and you have some serious competition for Coleman Francis.
Ring of Terror. Utterly unwatchable in its drabness.
The Screaming Skull
Far and away, High School Big Shot. That movie was so drab and depressing.
I gotta go with “Mad Monster.”
YEEEESH!
Indeed, MST3K has done many a drab and dreary movie. For some strange reason, I find those to be the perfect episodes to fall asleep to. Not criticism necessarily – in fact I happen to like most of the eps on my list – but just a matter of fact.
So, to borrow an idea from Thomas K. Dye, here’s my Top 5:
5) The Beast of Yucca Flats
4) The Atomic Brain
3) The Skydivers
2) The Unearthly
1) High School Big Shot
High School Big Shot and Girl In Lover’s Lane instantly spring to mind as does Red Zone Cuba. Drab, dreary, unpleasant all around.
High School Big Shot, hands down.
You have to be in the right frame of mind for that.
Two Immediately came to mind for me. The oft mentioned “Hamlet” alas it made me nauseous, also “The Atomic Brain” time for go to sleep. Drab and dreary I’ll say. I also can’t disagree with all the Coleman Francis detractors.
I have one that I just watched, The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy.
Wow, what a piece of crap. Nothing happens in the movie and the fight between the robot and the Aztec mummy sucks.
The Beast of Yucca Flats. It’s so dreary that I rarely watch it and forget how good the riffing is.
The Undead and The She-Creature are both pretty bad as well. Actually, a lot of those black & white movies from the start of season 8 are dreary.
The Screaming Skull is very drab and dreary. If it weren’t for the Gumby short that’s with the movie, I’d rarely watch it.
There are many, but these are the films that immediately came to mind.
All of the Colman Francis films.
Tormented
Monster A-Go-Go
The Unearthly
Night of the Blood Beast.
As I mentioned in a comment a couple of weeks ago, “Mad Monster” is so dreary that’s it’s virtually unwatchable even with riffing. Just foul. Any movie with no background music could go on the list — you don’t realize how much you’d miss it until it’s gone.
Isn’t “drab and dreary” almost every other movie they’ve ever done? If I had to pick some I guess I’d go with Red Zone Cuba, Screaming Skull, Beast of Yucca Flats…How about we just say anything from Coleman Francis, Bert I. Gorden and Ed Wood.
Track of the Moon Beast and It Lives By Night both have the same bleakness going on for me. The desolate landscapes, the bland unlikable leading men, shrill and horrible leading ladies…of course Track of the Moon Beast has Johnny Longbone to perk it up. It Lives by Night’s only really likable character is the depressed drunk with the broken hand who lives in a barn on the outskirts of town….:sad: