Movie: (1961) Masked wrestler El Santo battles vampire women who believe a young woman destined to become their queen.
First shown: 3/25/95
Opening: A moment of silence
Intro: Frank enjoys some Chinese food, Dr. F not so much; on the SOL the food is confounding
Host segment 1: While playing Stratego, Crow gets a sign
Host segment 2: Torgo the White arrives to take Frank to Second Banana Heaven
Host segment 3: Song: “Who will I kill?”
End: The ‘Bots read their letters to Frank, who visits Dr. F. and pushes the button one last time
Stinger: “Chief, I saw two corpses in the garden.”
(218 votes, average: 4.51 out of 5)
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• And so we come to the end of another era of MST3K. This is the last episode of the fourth consecutive 24-episode season, and pretty much the end of four years of job security for everybody at Best Brains. And of course, it is our bittersweet goodbye to Frank, which in turn is a harbinger of Trace’s farewell to come. It was about this time, March of ’95, I began regularly checking in with Julie Walker with questions like “so, season seven starts in June, right? July?…August??” She didn’t know, and nobody was giving it much thought, because they were headed into movie making. “MST3K: The Movie” had been greenlighted, and it was taking up everybody’s time. It would only be later in the year that the ominous silence from Comedy Central began to be recognized.
• Overall, the episode itself is in the “good-not-great” area for me. The host segments are historic, and very funny. The movie is kind of a cross between “Aztec Mummy” and “Racket Girls,” for better or worse. Last time, I thought the riffing was only so-so, but I have to say that I laughed quite a bit this time so I think I need readjust my rating upwards.
• This episode appears in “Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection: Vol XXIV.”
• The references.
• The “moment of silence” opening is appropriate and great fun. It’s one of those bits where the idea is simple, but the execution is what makes it work.
• I love when they cut to Deep 13 in the intro and Frank takes a breath to say something, but never gets to say it.
• Lo mein seems to have been on somebody’s mind–Auntie McFrank served it last episode.
• Dr. F’s fortune is very accurate.
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers (which seem to have been freshly shot for this episode): Film canister, book, bulletin board.
• One of the most blatant LOTR references ever on this show is the appearance of Torgo (again played by Mike), but not Torgo as we knew him but Torgo “the White.” “Yes, that was the name,” he mutters.
• Callback: “…and a good friend.” (Rocketship XM)
• Trace does a terrific job with the song, but a little pitchy, dawg.
• While in general I love the song, I have to say that the imagery evoked in the line “No cute tummy to drill” is a little off-putting.
• Frank departs with the wonderful “Wave your freak flag high!” speech and a final “Eyukgaee!”–the strange guttural sound he popularized back in season two, but hadn’t really used in a few seasons.
• Cast and crew roundup: Producer Luis Garcia DeLeon also worked on “Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy.” American producer K. Gordon Murray also worked on “Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy” and “Santa Claus.” American director Manuel San Fernando also worked on “Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy.”
• Creditswatch: Host segments directed by Jim Mallon. Additional contributing writers: Bill Corbett and Drew Jansen. Of course, the music for “Who Will I Kill?” was written by Mike, but I never noticed before: the lyrics were written by Bridget Jones!
There were also some farewells with this episode: The were shutting the show down for a while, and people were either departing or heading to the movie studio. It was Tim Paulson’s last show as editor. This was also the last show for post production coordinators Jann L. Johnson and Ellen McDonough Thomas, both of whom had been with the show for years. And finally, interns Wendell Andersson, Michael D. Parker and Sarah Swanson also worked on their last show.
• Fave riff: “Fiends are visiting from Europe.” Honorable mention: “He’s got a full acre of area!”
Next week we will do “MST3K: The Movie” and from there will go on to Season 7.
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Eyukgaoo
Thanks. I would never have known how to spell that.
Fiends are visiting from Europe
I’m sure Sampo meant ‘friends’ not ‘fiends’. Kinda changes the whole feel of the piece, hehe.
I’ve always liked this one more than the previous two episodes. While I see your “Aztec Mummy Vs. The Racket Girls” perspective, I think their wrestling riffs were stronger this time. It helps that the wrestling is less straight-forward – unless Clara Mortensen was part-werewolf.
My fave wrestling riff is somewhat dated these days: “The wrestling program in Hell is second only to Iowa.” (Thanks to all the Iowa wrestling grads coaching at other colleges, Iowa has to struggle to stay near the top. Any guesses which Iowa wrestler ended up coaching in Hell?)
Fave riff: Tom crooning, “We will crush the imperialist running dogs!”
Nope. “Fiends are visiting from Europe.” … ’cause they’re vampires, see?
I wish Frank could have stayed on long enough to be in the MST3K The Movie before going to second banana heaven.
This is yet another application of Sampo’s Theorem to me: I just can’t get into the episode, but I know many people really love it. I can’t even pin down any particular fault to the movie riffing, since any segment of it that I try out seems as full of as successful jokes as any other episode. It just doesn’t quite congeal for me.
Nevertheless I do love how Samson enters and the only response is a delightful giggling from the Brains. It’s just so … perfect.
The host segments, now, those are supremely wonderful. It’s also neat how Crow’s revelation of how something wonderful is coming is one of the few allusions to 2010: The Year We Make An Interesting Yet Not Quite Satisfying Sequel ahead of TV’s Frank’s departure, given how Trace’s departure would be given a treatment derived from 2001. There’s a symmetry there I know they couldn’t have imagined when writing this.
This is a great episode. i love the riffing in it. the movie is so goofy where the vampires act like cheap thugsand easily defeated. My favorite riff, I need some beauty man just a little beauty. it’s a oak ridge boy.
I’m one of the people who loves this episode. It’s not the best, but it’s a good, solid episode for me.
The vampires, the whole Mexico thing, the wrestling, the weird dad (who Trace does a great impression of), just how silly the whole this is overall.
But I also hate that Frank leaves in this one. I remember when I was watching the episodes in first run, I took Frank leaving a lot harder than when Joel left. Even to this day, the interaction between Frank and Dr. F makes the early seasons work, for me, at least.
To stunned Mexican guard:
“Yes. They’re real!”
And about Dr. F’s rebirth:
Is the below correct?
2001: A Space Odyssey—1968 debue, star baby
1995—Dr. F. reborn
1996—Merlin’s Shop debue, icky reporter reborn
1999—MST3000 Merlin’s Shop debue, i.r.r.
What’s with all the rebirths?
WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN!
Goodbye, Frank. You were enjoyed.
The historical aspect of this episode outweighs the riffing, but it is spot on. The scenes were Trace gets to imitate the weird inflections of the father are the best. “Sometimes lint gets in your eye and takes on ghoulish shapes.” I know that Mike’s line, but Trace’s fantastic impression really doesn’t work out of context.
A bit off tangent: Something that shows up in many films from this time period–and here we see it crosses cultural and national boundaries–is the idea that a chop to the shoulder is enough to kill someone. In this movie, in She Creature, Women of the Prehistoric Planet, others I can’t think of right now. I just wonder how this came to be a universal way to off a character in movies. Did audiences really accept that?
“Bittersweet” is a good way to describe this episode. Yes, Frank departs the cast, much to my dismay, but look at it this way – if he hadn’t left, the Brains wouldn’t have let him pick this movie as a going-away present (Frank loves goofy Mexican wrestler movies). And man, do I love the riffing in this! It’s another one of those episodes where I’m literally in tears from laughing so hard. I remember the first time I watched it, after Diana finishes playing the piano and Servo riffs “That was great, hey, do you know that thing from ‘Peanuts’?” I was practically on the floor. (He’s talking about Vince Guaraldi’s “Linus and Lucy”, for anyone who doesn’t know.)
El Santo (a.k.a. the Silver Maskman) offers up dozens, nay, hundreds of great riff opportunities. Count me in as another fan of his entrance scene – Trace’s barely contained laughter (“pffhaHA!”) never fails to make me giggle too. The wrestling match between Santo and Satan is great too. “Pan, Texas Ranger.” I can’t overlook Professor Orlof, either, whose Marvin the Martian-y voice gets the Brains’ gears turning like crazy (“Sometimes lint gets in your eye and takes on ghoulish shapes”, “Or perhaps a tiny condor waiting for you to die”, “Turn off the film now and discuss. What would you have done to make this a better party?”).
I was surprised to hear Crow say “Ooh, titty-twister!” I didn’t think you could say that on television. I know it’s cable, but still.
I love Frank’s final host segment. It’s the perfect loving goodbye to the character – when he thought-pushes the button and gives that final “Eyuk-a-yee”, you almost want to go “Wait, don’t go!” I’ve also taken his advice to heart – many of the managers I’ve worked for are hard-asses to the extreme, but I’ve always “waved my freak flag high”, as it were.
“Please stop playing the waltz!”
I hadn’t seen this one since broadcast, so when i saw the DAP over the last few days it all seemed very new to me. I didn’t warm to it at first but by the last half I was really into it.
I do remember my daughter and I getting a little choked up by the [ really very well done ] who shall I kill song.
I may watch this again before rating.
And despite what annotaedmst says, I think the de-masking reference is to Peter Lupus from Mission Impossible. Not taekwondo practicioner Peter Lopez ( who would have been 13 or so when this aired ).
I agree with Sampo, the episode is good but not great. The movie riffing is surpassed by the storyline in the host segments.
Still, like last week’s movie, Samson vs. The Vampire Women moves along briskly. I never expect this episode to be such a breeze, but it is.
Would anyone else put this movie in the same company as Space Jam, starring Michael Jordan? Both movies do take a popular athlete, I use the term loosely when talking about El Santo, and stick him in a movie that has him saving the world. Not only that, the movie utilizes the sport that the athlete is a part of.
The movie begins really slowly, with all the dreary pans across the castle and the glacially paced vampire awakenings. However, it picks up at the Professor’s home, especially with the Professor’s constant dissembling about the girl’s vampiric origins. “[It’s] a tiny condor, waiting for you to die!”
Then there’s the hilarious bit where the Professor invites his soon-to-be son-in-law into his study, only to tell him to “leave him alone.” “Hey, you invited me here!”
And, of course, Samson’s outfit is good for tons of laughs. And let’s not forget his hilariously dire final solution for the vampire women. “Hey, how’d your costume slumber party go—OH MY GOD!!!”
Frank’s exit was indeed bittersweet, and had I known it would lead to Trace’s exit later, it would have affected me more. At the time, I didn’t even know he WAS leaving for good — we’d already had a false “Frank leaves” episode with “Village of the Giants”, so for all I knew this was just a temporary thing. But there you are.
TV Frank is a character that I hated at first but after repeated viewings, he tended to grow on me. That goofy sound he makes though, still bugs the crap out of me.
Let the Cher jokes begin!
One of my all time favorites. A triumph of the human spirit! I’d give it 6 stars if you would let me. A bittersweet farewell to Frank but executed so well it eases the pain.
I guess I love the movies that are goofy enough on their own right, like Samson, Puma Man and Gamera vs. Guiron.
Let me be frank about Frank- he was missed. The movie is alright for me, nothing special though. Host segments are good, a good way for Frank to go.
Count me as one of those who LOVES this episode. The skits, the riffs, everything. At least Frank got to go out on a good episode. I mean, you’ve got some seriously stunning women, the goofy-voiced dad, the neverending waltz, El Santo’s grand, sudden entrance, and the fact that the film takes a 10 minute wrestling break.
FIVE STARS!
“Vampires have a pretty basic agenda with everyone.”
I know you usually take a one-week break of episode reviewing between seasons, but will MST3K: The Movie also get the episode review treatment from you guys? I’d imagine it’d be up next since the movie was made before season 7, but not released until much later.
A very good episode, very wonderfully weird with Mexican wrestlers and vampires which of course can’t help but make for prime riffing material, but of course it’s overshadowed by the departure of Frank,who was not just one of the show’s most beloved characters but also among the most beloved in TV history, if TV Guide was anything to go by.
Coming only a year after the departure of Joel this was a serious blow to the dynamic of the show. No offense to Mary Jo with their Pearl Forrester character, which was a much funnier character in the Sci-Fi years, but she just didn’t have the same chemistry with Trace as Frank did, plus I didn’t much care for the shift of Forrester from a bully to a tormented wimp.
Some may argue it was an end of an era when Joel departed but as long as Forrester and TV’s Frank remained the chief tormentors of the SOL the dynamic could survive with a new host in Mike. For me, Frank’s departure marked the true end of an era for the show.
My favorite part of this pivotal episode was Dr F’s psychotic paeon to Frank “Whom Shall I Kill?”
“No screams that are shrill.
No cute tummy to drill.
Tell me whom, whom shall I kill?”
Just sick, wrong and funny.
Is it true that, before Frank announced his departure, that Ep. 624 was originally going to be “Master Ninja III”?
I’ll always remember this episode not just for Frank’s departure, but also for the incredibly wonderful moment where Our Hero comes on the scene and basically conducts a business meeting in full luchador gear, and both he and the rich guy behave as if this is a perfectly normal thing to do. Massively hilarious.
Reply to #22
I’d read the same rumor too. Master Ninja III would have been an interesting film to riff. The ACEG doesn’t quite confirm it though (Frank only mentions selecting Samson as his final movie).
I put this episode in my top five favorites for the following reasons;
-Vampire women were easy on the eyes, post hemo fix only.
-Dubbing grammer was very weird (and funny).
-There seemed to be a lot of giggling and off script remarks by M&TB throughout. I find these the most enjoyable riffs they can do.
-Plenty of ridiculous action throughout.
-Most useless police force ever.
-Shortest hero ever, cool wheels though.
-Most well dressed wrestling fans ever, all male in business suits.
-I enjoyed the sedate party transforming into a prison riot with the flip of the light switch.
This episode is VERY high on my list of favourites. I’m a wrestling fan anyway, and this episode just killed me because I didn’t know there was a luchador in it until the moment he walked in the room. Hven’t seen Racket Girls yet, holding out for Volume 15 (I’m a relatively new MSTie).
This epsiode has a lot of great riffs:
“Tell your friends the vampires were here!”
“I’m watching the game.”
“Be sure to come back tomorrow, then LEAVE IMMEDIATLY!”
and my favourite, “Hey honey, we’re home, how did your dress up slumber party gOH MY GOD!”
Can’t wait until this one hits DVD.
M&TB imitations of the Professor (especially Crow’s) were the best part of this episode for me. There were just too many good lines when they did that to list them all here.
Movie was just plain OUT THERE, man. :???:
Anyone else notice that Samson didn’t really DO anything? He just kind of inconvenienced the vampires long enough for the sunlight to get them. What a crappy “hero”.
Loved when Diana was playing the piano and Crow was just intoning, “Bored…bored…bored…”
No more Frank. Bummer. Definitely the end of an era. I also didn’t like Pearl’s chemistry with Dr. F (it was better with Brain Guy and Bobo, they kind of changed her a little). Maybe they should have had the other writers on doing rotating sidekicks that Dr. F was trying out and just had mean old mom pop in once in a while then just had her take over when Trace left. Heh, well, little late now. :roll:
Even though Frank was gone, I did like a lot of the eps in Season 7. Trace was still there, after all, my favorite Crow. Now when HE left… well, that’s coming…I still think Bill’s Crow should have been this Crow’s second cousin, twice removed, or something, rather than have him supposed to be the same character…or WAS he? :wink: I’m getting ahead of myself.
Fave line: “Be sure to stop by again tomorrow – and leave IMMEDIATELY.” – Crow
(Liked that whole exchange in the Professor’s office, actually, with all of them making comments in the same vein, leave, just get out, wait come back…”).
Also liked Mike’s: “She thinks she’s hot snot on a silver platter, but she’s just a cold booger on a paper plate.”
But, overall, just 2 stars for me on this one.
“The International Fight-Like-a-Girl Championships.”
(Oh – always meant to ask: anyone know what’s in the door sequence after door #4 when they’re going in the theater? Is that a little Dr. Bunsen Honeydew doll I see there? :mrgreen: )
I don’t think the karate chop was supposed to kill anyone, just KO them.
One of my favorite lines ever in the beginning “I don’t get the physics of a hovering bat.” Also Gypsies poem for Frank was great, not sure what it’s from but it sounds familiar. This is one of my all time favorites, I’m gonna watch it tonight as I go to sleep.
A very bittersweet episode, as others have said. Although the show would remain pretty good in later years, something wonderful was lost with the breakup of Trace and Frank as a comedy team.
The movie in this one leaves me flat, but “Who Will I Kill” is just wonderful.
This is probably one of my favorite, if not MY ALL TIME favorite episode.
The riffs were fast and furious, and it just seemed like this movie was created for the sole purpose of being featured on MST3K.
And wowy wow wow wow is Tundra hot. Much more so than the ‘Queen of the dark dominion.’
I was in Washington DS on a school trip when this episode first aired, and ended up having my mom tape it for me. Much to more horror, when I finally watched it, I discovered that the tape ran out mid recording, and I only got about half of the episode. I let out a ‘someone taped over Seinfeld’ scream like in the movie. As a result, it would be over 10 years later before I would see the rest of the episode.
My favorite riffs:
‘This is Howard Cosell. How can this be considered a legitimate sport?’
‘Boy I’d be nervous sleeping under that chandelier.’
‘Yes….oh…stepped on the plug there.’
‘Many times lint gets in your eye and takes on ghoulish shapes, it happens to everyone!!’
And I LOVE the way Tom says ‘Umm….Oww.’ during one of the wrestling scenes. The way he delivers that line kills me everytime.
And for the life of me, I can’t figure out what ‘Have you ever seen a Polish magnet? Its over this way.’ is supposed to mean? Can anyone shed any light on this obscure rift?
#29 –
Gypsy’s “poem” to Frank is actually a piece from Shakespeare’s “Romeo And Juliet”…
“Give me my Romeo…and when he shall die, cut him into tiny stars…”
I heartily agree with Spector (#20); after Frank’s departure the writers seemed unsure of how to maintain the proper dynamic. While Frank and Forrester synergized well, Pearl and Forrester clashed constantly in a not particularly pleasant way. Forrester could torment Frank while the two remained allies in their evil doings; not so with Pearl/Forrester. I feel like the role-reversal of Forrester being brow-beaten worked in the single episode where Pearl visits (can’t recall which one at the moment), but was untenable for a prolonged stretch.
That said, I think Mary Jo is fantastic. It’s simply that Pearl has a very strong screen presence and this made it difficult for Forrester to maintain his role as head honcho. The “New Pearl” was great in the SciFi era; watching her torment her lackeys is fantastic. Of course, the made-over Pearl of the later seasons bore little resemblance to Season 7 Pearl (she seems to have lost several decades of age for a start) and I find her later incarnation the far more interesting of the two.
The movie is fun, but not near the top of my list since it drags at times. Prolonged wrestling matches do not translate well to film. Still, there are many delightful leaps in logic that Mike and the bots pounce on (“I’ve discovered the letter D!”).
This episode gave me one of my biggest “WTF!” moments of all MST history: after watching a fairly dull vampire movie for quite a while, a ludicrous Mexican wrestler swoops down upon the scene and the missing heroine’s father, not batting an eyelid, responds, “thank goodness you’ve come, Samson”. I think I did a spit take.
Wow, it’s truly bittersweet. When I was watching these live I was pretty dismayed to see his character leave. Frank was one of my favorite characters on the show (the “Eyukgauoo!” sound made me laugh!) & his chemistry w/ Dr. Forrester added a lot to the host segments.
It was so great at the time because in the media landscape they were contemporary with it was VERY obvious that they had real creative freedom to be crazy, obscure or just silly)
Love the 2010 references, and how Crow uses a growling scary voice when he says “Something Wonderful is going to happen”
SO long TV’s Frank, definitely “the best Frank that ever happened to me”
Movie:
The dubbing & transaltion of the words of the father/professor are very awkward and weird!
— “I’m usually quite direct and I don’t like secrets, But in this case I hesitate now because i’m not sure yet, that’s about what you’ll say”
(Crow says … “oh, I’m .. Huh?”)
AND the scene where El Santo enters the professors office in his mask and glittery cape is too funny. No riff necessary, M&TB just laugh at the surreal hilarity of the scene.
– then the riff “I feel sort of silly right now, did I overdress?”
For me, there is something distinctly Un-Superhero-ish about the car Samson / El Santo drives. It’s just funny!
… I can’t help but picture him rushing to the vampire castle and having to change a flat tire or his radiator overheating and having to flag down a ride in his wrestling costume.
Oh yeah … and what is the PHYSICS of the crazy TV connection the professor has with Samson? Does Samson have a micro-camera mounted on the hood of the car and a microphone on the dashboard? Or does the professor have some even more exotic technology that allows him to view & interact with events happening anywhere???
(yeah .. it’s just a movie)
Discussion Suggestion:
Which character do you most relate to on the show? Or, if you were an MST3K character, which would you be & why?
MikeK: You’re a bit off on El Santo’s films. In Mexico, the man was revered his entire career, and made a bunch of these films. He was respected right till his death, and was buried in his mask if the stories are to be believed. This is a very high honor, as even the most popular wrestlers “do business on the way out”, that is to give some up-and-coming wrestler the shine of beating the popular veteran as they are about to retire or quit. Often in Mexico, the “Business” they do is losing in a Mask-verus-Mask or Mask-versus-Hair match, which is generally considered a huge event. And in Mexico, when you lose your Mask, you do not ever put it back on. There is, believe it or not, a government agency (the Comisión de Box y Lucha Libre Mexico) which enforces it, and will prevent a guy from wrestling under a mask if he’s lost it all ready.
For all measure, for the audience it was intended for, this was as big as Jordan. I haven’t seen other El Santo films, but as I’m told, they’re pretty much exactly the same where El Santo just pops up out of nowhere long after the plot is established, fixes things, and leaves. Like a sequined Littlest Hobo or something (fellow Canadians: Prepare to have the theme song in your head for the rest of the night. “Maybe Tommorrow, I’ll want to settle down…”)
Off topic, I won’t name drop, but my Uncle is a wrestler, old timer, long retired now and fought El Santo in an Exhibition match. He worked for years in Japan where he was the foreign devil American, but never did he ever get such a heel (bad guy) reaction as he did wrestling in Mexico versus guys like El Santo. They REALLY love wrestling down there in a way that we don’t get in the US.
Personally, I love this film. The wrestling sequences are fun and silly, I love the riffs, the Host Segments with Frank are entertaining (and I am forced to use the “Willie Lo-main” joke every time I get take out now…).
Now, what I want is to get Frank on Rifftrax, if he’s a fan of bad wrestling films, and to do some of the really cruddy 80’s and 90’s films starring wrestlers. “Suburban Commando” with Hulk Hogan, or maybe “Ready to Rumble”, a 2000 vehicle for WCW wrestlers starring David Arquette (who famously won the WCW World title – to a reaction so negative, that WCW was closed within the year). Or just for another El Santo picture if he wouldn’t care for those (god knows I wouldn’t).
I agree with the general sentiment on this film. As others have said, the best scene is when El Santo abruptly appears in the library of the heroine’s father in his glittery cape, and no one finds this remotely odd. This is why we love bad movies.
TV’s Frank was the type of character that you did not really appreciate until he left. Afterwards, I really appreciated what he brought to the show. He was sorely missed in both season 7 and the movie. When the mads finally regained their bearings, it took two minions to provide what Frank brought to the table. It was a great run.
This is a great ep but I wasn’t crazy about it when I first saw it. After a couple viewings though it has become one of the ones I watch most often.
Fave riffs not already mentioned:
“We got a dine and dash at table seven!” (or whatever table number it was)
“I don’t mean to be rude, but this is an ugly sorority.”
It was sad to see Frank go since he was so great. He always (and still does) kinda freak out my mom and I like to make his funny noise around her sometimes just to bug her. When I saw CT’s live Austin show a while back I shook Frank and Joel’s hands and it was so awesome!!
I don’t have a fave era of the show as I really love and enjoy it all the way through. It was sad when Frank left but I love how the dynamic changed from Dr. F being the tormenter to being tormented by his mom – how embarrassing and hilarious!!
I think I’ll watch this one again when I get home from work today. :smile:
The people who are surprised that the other characters are so nonchalant upon El Santo’s entrance just aren’t getting the dynamic of the El Santo movies.
In the USA we have Superman movies. In those, Superman simply enters the room, and none of the other characters are surprised that a man in blue tights and a cape just walked in, because they already know who he is. It’s the same thing.
crowschmo #27: I still think Bill’s Crow should have been this Crow’s second cousin, twice removed, or something, rather than have him supposed to be the same character…or WAS he?
At least you didn’t mail the Brains a ten foot banner that said, “I HATE CROW’S NEW VOICE!!!!!” Or maybe you did. :shock:
FarmboyinJapan #31: I was in Washington DS on a school trip when this episode first aired
Is that a version of the Nintendo DS produced by the federal government? :razz:
I love this episode! The movie is perfectly awful and I think the main vampire baddie ‘Tundra’ is THE hottest woman in MST3K movie history. The Brains do send-off episodes really well- “Mitchell”, “Laserblast”, and “Diabolik” are all great. I missed Frank a lot and couldn’t IMAGINE giving up such a great job voluntarily. I have a lot of thoughts about Pearl but I’ll save those for when we get to her episodes… Anyway, here’s a bunch of my favorite lines from this episode:
Mike: Mike Johnson and Todd Langus are calling.
Crow: Who’s that?
Mike: I went to grade school with them.
Crow: Well how the hell are we supposed to know who you went to– Are we supposed to carry a yearbook…
Frank: I’m going to eat my fortune cookie first- I’m so naughty! …”You have been summoned to a place beyond this Earth, a place beyond your understanding, a place filled with laughter and love, safety and happiness for all eternity. A trusted friend will accompany you to this other plain of existence, and your journey will begin. Watch for the signs, my friend. God speed and good luck”… WHAT A CRAPPY FORTUNE! Clay, open yours.
Dr. F: Let’s see, “You will die, alone and afraid, knowing that not a single human being ever loved you, lucky numbers 3, 18, 80- Funny, I keep getting the same one.
“SAMSON (The Silver Masked Man)”
Tom: Well, granted, hes the silver masked man, you didn’t need to tell us that.
Mike: Samson ‘The Silver Masked Man’ Tutaglione.
Mike: Hey, I went to school with an ‘Alfonso Corona Blake’- Oh, wait, it was ‘Todd Langus’.
Mike: Uh, some butlers stay inside, sir.
Tom: Just shut up and get outside.
Mike: Yes, sir.
Tom: Uh-oh, more supernatural tomfoolery!
Crow: I don’t get the physics of a hovering bat…
“We’ll stop any attack they can plan…”
Mike:…Providing it’s lame and poorly thought out and it’s our grandma’s…
“Please excuse the question…”
Tom: …But will you sleep with me?
Crow: She’s totally attracted to my hat!
Tom: Hi! Want to see inside my hat?
Mike: Hi, come on over. Want to see the sweat band?
Crow: I did the glitter myself!
Mike: You know what they say about guys with big hats!
Tom: You know, they say once you go Cossack you never go back…
Tom: Ahhh! They’re making the beast with two butts!
“What’s a good way to explain it to you?”
Mike: Puppet theater?
Torgo: Frank? Awaken my child.
Frank: Jesus?
Torgo: No.
Frank: Torgo?
Torgo: Yes.
Crow: The ultimate battle of good vs. evil is really goofy!
Crow: I just realized that this is a totally boring party! Let’s get the peyote out!
Tom: So, she comes, sucks on your neck, you live for all eternity, she’s superhot, what’s the problem?
Mike: Say, is your body remarkably different than the last time I was here?
Mike: Oh, and the devil is out of the ring, the prince of darkness has fallen on a lady in the first row!
Tom: Guys, the presence of his pants proves there is a god!
“It’s true! Those were vampires I saw!”
Tom: He said the same thing about a parking violation last week.
Crow: If they just bought curtains they could’ve saved the whole vampire race!
Crow: Panty raid! Just kidding, I’m gonna burn you to death.
Mike: Well, I’ll let god sort them out.
Tom: Oh, that’s nice, Samson, just torch everyone!
Mike: Bested at every turn, and now he’s got a chance to light some helpless women on fire.
Tom: Boy, t’s good to be back at the castle.. Hey, honey, how did your dress-up slumber party go- OH MY GOD!!!
Dr. F: Speak to me, Frank! Speak to me!
Frank: Clay… Close your robe.
Frank: Remember this, my sentimental friend- Even though I will forever be in your heart, till the end of your days you’ll be a profoundly lonely man.
This episode holds more than one piece of significance as “Who Will I Kill?” was the very first song I ever heard from MST3K courtesy of an old Realplayer audio file (that I still have, despite my new computer not having Realplayer- for the good reason they invented spyware).
Not only that, but El Santo has been one of my personal heroes for a very long time. He, along with Tor Johnson and Andre the Giant, had a heart as big as he was (more than an acre, too). I haven’t seen many of his movies, but enjoy every chance I get. Now for my thoughts.
Movie:
* When you compare the original Spanish version to this dub, the original is actually pretty good. The actors did a fine job, in my opinion. This dub is just horrible.
* Satan is really active (though I use the term loosely) in these Mexican movies. Do you think he was waiting for Thorina to return before or after sending Pitch to take care of Santa Claus?
* Regardless of how well anyone may know about El Santo, his entrance and Trace’s laugh kill me every time.
* Anyone else notice that the audience in the wrestling ring cheer for “Santo?” The dubbers got lazy there.
* There have been several instances of modern pro wrestlers resorting to the same second grade tactics as well.
* Favorite riffs:
“So the devil’s minions are just cheap thugs.” – Mike
“Panty raid! I’m kidding, of course. Going to burn you to death.” – Crow
“Hi, honey! Boy it’s great to be back at the castle. Hope your sister’s dress-up Halloween slumber party went well… OH MY GOD!” – Servo
Host Segments:
* Frank must have really good eyesight to read that long of a fortune on that small a piece of paper.
* Servo must’ve never tried an American dish at a Chinese restaurant before. They usually aren’t very good (at least around here).
* There’ve been plenty of riffs in the past based on Stratego. It certainly took a long time for either Joel or Mike to actually teach it to the bots.
* Gypsy’s remembrance of Frank is definitely the most sentimental thing to ever happen in the show.
* Favorite line: “Clay… close your robe.”
Samson is funny and all, but this episode’s host segments overshadow anything that happen in the theater (for obvious reasons).
I only got to see Frank’s departure years later on the internet as I didn’t have direct access to Comedy Central with the crummy cable company we had at the time.
I honestly don’t see why Frank didn’t stick around for at least the movie, but I suppose he had his reasons.
#36 SaintStryfe: Thanks for the insight. Interesting stuff to say the least. I haven’t seen this episode, but it looks like a blast. As soon as you mentioned more modern wrestling films, I immediately thought of No Holds Barred with Hulk Hogan and Tiny Lister. Great stink coming of that film…
To #39 – sure, but that’s not my point. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, I’m saying it kooked me out.
#39- Point well taken, but I think the criticism is just as valid for a Superman film as it is for El Santo. I posit that it would be equally unlikely to have a nonchalant conversation with a man in blue tights and a cape as it would with a man in a sliver mask and glittery cape. In either case, it is pretty funny.
Sorry, Sampo, I think you and I just have different tastes–I love Love LOVE this episode! It’s in my top, er, 11. The host segments are in the good-not-great category for me. I also wasn’t entirely sure TV’s Frank was gone forever, but apparently…
The riffs in this movie are outstanding and consistently hilarious. Some of my favorites:
“The vampire precision flight team in formation.”
“It’s vampire wilding!” (Remember wilding?)
“So the devil’s minions are cheap thugs.”
“Be sure to come back tomorrow…and leave immediately!”
“I feel sort of strange; am I overdressed?”
“When was I a flying leatherneck?”
“Now everybody get out there and Strauss out!”
“This party totally blows. Let’s break out the peyote.”
#31 FarmboyinJapan–If you’re being serious, the Polish magnet joke is basicaly where you tell somebody to follow you and you just keep leading them around, implying that they’re Polish and therefore gullible.
That whole scene where the detective is in the guy’s office and it’s all “now go away” and “why did he leave?” back and forth… the rest of the episode is okay, but that scene makes me laugh every time.
Again, love the episode, but was devastated that Frank really left this time. So nice to see him again in CT.
#2 Cubby – I have seen this one several times, and I’m from Iowa City fer cryin’out loud, but I never caught the Iowa wrestling riff, and I don’t know which wrestler is coaching in hell (I am covered in shame).
#33 Nicias – you are so right. MJ is fantastic. As for the looking years younger later on: that is one of the extras you get when you are cryogenically frozen and then thawed out hundreds of years in the future by apes, A Make-Over. Just thrown in, gratis.
#36 SaintStryfe – once again, I am so impressed with what I can learn from other msties. Thanks.
This is easily one of my all time favorite episodes. Any movie whose vampires require “considerable taxiing” before taking off is OK in my book! The funniest scene has to be when Samson aka The Silver Mask Man makes his sudden appearance to the professor. Crow just bursts out laughing! Then, as the professor blathers on about the vampires or curse or whatever, I believe its Mike who gives the best line of all, “Sir, do you have any wrestling that needs to be done?”
Frank’s departure was very sad, indeed. I did find it funny that he first had to ask Clay to shut his robe though, before leaving. If I remember correctly one of the next if not the next movie was Escape 2000. Another great one! So, as much as I loved TV’s Frank, I thought this was the beginning of a string of outstanding episodes.