The moment that immediately came to mind was the bizarre chicken dance from episode 605- Colossus and the Headhunters. Intended as slinky and salacious, it just comes out clunky and dumb.
What’s your pick?
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Weekend Discussion Thread: The Un-Sexiest Moment in a MSTed MovieThere are a lot of moments in the MSTed movies where they’re really going for something sexy…and they fail miserably.
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Two words: Baby Oil
If I had to make a guess, I’d say the least sexiest moment would be…
Almost every single moment from The Wild Wild World of Batwoman! The whole thing just looks like some aborted attempt at a softcore porn film.
…
Hmm? I have to pick a specific moment? Okay, fine… then I’ll pick the dancing scene in 803 – The Mole People.
Giant Spider Invasion has a number of ‘special moments’ from drunk, older skank trying to get into her little sister’s boyfriends disco pants, muskrat love at the junkyard, skank husband’s attempted spanking of sis-in-law, cuz Billy’s poetic proclamation of love for said sis-in-law, hernia belt lovin at the trailer park…I have to go vomit now.
“Hercules”- the Amazon/ Siren/ men singing (it reminded me of The Film Crew Marathon movie (men in diapers))
My first thought was baby oil but that was just a disgusting JDB/LE scene.
I’ll go along with the notorius Linda Evans/Joe Don Baker coupling in “Mitchell”, along with pretty much the entirety of “Angels Revenge”.
Two more words: Peeping Torgo.
ThE mAsTeR dOeS nOt ApPrOvE…
The torture scene in Deathstalker. Yowch! Very disturbing – I could have gone my whole life w/o seeing that smug twerp spread out on the table. Meant to be titillating, but simply…not.
For dishonorable mention, any of the dance sequences from Incredibly Strange Creatures – just jarringly bad.
Plenty to choose from in this category, and the Linda Evans/Joe Don Baker/Baby Oil scene is alittle too obvious for me. So, my pick would be the scene in Hobgoblins, where the pink-shorts boy’s fantasies about the phone-sex woman come to life, and they’re making it on Reputation Road. It’s the perfect visual when you’re trying to get the point of chastity across.
The sexy senior citizen’s come-hither dance in Space Mutiny.
“She’s presenting like a mandrill!”
The roadside sex scene from Laserblast. (“So, they’re just off County Road C going at it, huh?”) I love Tom’s disgusted “What IS that? Can you show that?!” during the apparently risque but unclear shots.
Also, I think Crow makes some remark about the movie meaning two things to him: “sheet cake and back fat”. Just remembering that line dredges up the image of the chick grabbing fistfuls of Billy’s flabby back. It’s been seared into my brain, probably permanently. Ugh.
Oh yeah, I how could I forget Hobgoblins? I have to agree with Toblerone Effect (#7)… that phone-sex girl was just…*shudders*
“It’s Robert Plant!!”
Second vote for Deathstalker. Every couple in that movie was icky – Deathstalker and the trashy chick from the mountains, Troxartis and the sarcastic lady, Nisius and the sarcastic lady… it’s like the Renaissance festival of yuck.
Honorable mention to Adam “H.A.R.M.” Chance and Eva (half-woman/half-baby). “Ward Cleaver After Hours,” eww!?!
Yeah, Baby oil was the first thing to come to mind.
Even unsexier than that: The tennis/hot tub stuff in Zombie Nightmare.
Honorable mention to the Paper Chase guy kissing Persis Khambatta.
“Outlaw” Whenever Cabot kisses Talena it looks like his jaw comes unhinged like one of those egg eating snakes.
“Zombie Nightmare” During the spa scene where we get a lovely close-up of the boyfriend’s saggy crotch when he walks by the camera.
“Space Mutiny” Dave and Lea’s *ahem* love scene. The fact that those two later married in real life doesn’t make it any better.
Rocking van in Hobgoblins. Ewwwww.
1) The manly exotic dancers in “The Brain that Wouldn’t Die”
2) The goofy strip show in “The Incredibly Strange Creatures, etc.”
3) The St. Vitus Dancers in “Girl in Gold Boots”, aluminum foil panties notwithstanding
4) The Dr. Seuss dancer in “Mole Creatures”
5) But MOST of all, the baby oil scene in “Mitchell” AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
The pool scene from Teenagers from Outer Space came to mind, but Mitchell, Batwoman Brain that Wouldnt Die, Girl in Gold Boots all have some ewww unsexy scenes
The shaving scene from “Eegah” is the first moment that came to mind but I’m not sure what Arch Hall Sr. was going for there (and I don’t want to know :???: ).
So I’m just going to go with the whole beach scene in “Angels Revenge.” The part where the girls are seducing that guy by sucking out his brain has to be one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen/heard!
How about Lea Jansen’s ‘presenting like a mandrill’ dance in Space Mutiny?
Thank you MrRocco!(#3) And let’s not forget Barbara Hale and Doughy Guy rolling down the hillside in beautiful Wisconsin.
Joe Don Baker and Linda Evans rolling in the hay in Mitchell, especially when Joel and the ‘Bots point out the bottle of baby oil on the nightstand (shudder). That tops the list for me.
Lea Jansen shaking her ass in Space Mutiny, Fantazia in Hobgoblins, the hot tub scene in Zombie Nightmare, the “pornographic” photo shoots in The Sinister Urge and Cabot sucking face with Talena definitely merit mention.
Those are just the ones off the top of my head, I’m sure there’s plenty more that I’ve forgotten (perhaps wilfully), although some scenes just never will be erased from my memory. Thank goodness for the Brains making those scene funny!
Gotta add my voice to the chorus of those squalling hatred for Mitchell’s baby oil and all its horrible, horrible implications.
Also, every scene in The Brain That Wouldn’t Die, especially when the catty strippers wrestle on what I can only imagine is one of the dirtiest floors ever.
Finally, the perpetually half-naked, morose and lethargic Billy in Laserblast. Billy, my pet, your skinniness and ennui do not make you an irresistible sex god. Sorry. Now quit whining and put your damn shirt on.
All of the examples so far are great. Although I maintain that Hobgoblins was not trying to be titillating in any way; rather they were going for low-brow humor. It doesn’t work on any level, but I conclude (and pray) that they weren’t actually trying to be sexy at all.
I agree that Mitchell & Linda Evans may be the most visually disgusting, but there are a few others that stir the imagination in horrifying ways. As has been mentioned, I find the worst to be the 1970’s hillbilly/trailer-trash sex-related scenes. Often these are not shown, but merely implied, but they still seem so dirty (I mean that in terms of hygiene, although the same could be said from a moral standpoint). Some of these have already been mentioned: the back-brace scene, Laserblast love scene, etc. I’d include sweaty/sick Paul-the-lizard and pink-girl from Moonbeast in there as well. Oh, and the Paul “whilst turning into a bat” and Mary-Tyler-Less love scene from It Lives By Night too.
Like nearly everything put to film in the 70’s, it seemed that love scenes had to be gross and “wrong” to be film-worthy. Like the little kids smoking and reading porn in Incredible Melting Man; did filmmakers in the 70’s make it a point to show the worst of man, to emphasize the seamiest parts of human existence?
In a similar vein: Even though it’s not from the 70’s (“decade of shame” as Crow dubs it), the scene between the two trashy kids in Werewolf rises toward the top of my list. I was decidedly thankful that the “can’t get my zipper down” guy was interrupted by Paul the were-waiter. Why couldn’t he have killed that jerk while he was at it?
I agree with all 22 comments (so far). But remember the confusing shots with the sex-on- the-beach scene in Devil Fish (911) with Peter and the “Peter Frampton” girl? And the “incoming” shot from above? LOL
Mitchell humping the bed in his robe. I’m still scarred.
Mitchell’s baby oil sex scene
Totally Strange Creatures strip shows
The Rocking Van in Hobgoblins
The hot tub scene in Zombie Nightmare
Everything about Alien from L.A.
I just watched *Girl in Gold Boots* the other night. The dancing by “Michele”, the Angelina Jolie lookalike, was just embarassing. Any scene with “Buzz”, the Rod Blagojevich lookalike – blechh.
The Manos Women’s Guild Reenacts the Battle of Pearl Harbor. I think fighting and bitch slapping each other in their nighties was supposed to be sexy. But them a bunch of baby doll nighties and hire a bunch of super models, you’ll have a sexy scene.
also
The Horrors of Spider Island. The entire movie. Really.
Lots of icky stuff to think about. LOVE IT!!!
Hobgoblins gets a pretty high score in this category for me. You’ve got David Lee Roth as the sex phone worker, but you’ve also got the red hot van shaking, and worst of all for me, AIMEEE’s workout/strip scene where she shows off her armpits. “Pure, uncensored Jamie Gertz” indeed! Ant that at the end of it she goes for Road Rash…ick.
It’s pretty fresh in my mind from last week, but the beach scene from Angel’s Revenge is extremely unsexy. Especially the look on binocular man’s face when they’re licking the earwax out of his skull.
This is a bit of a crapshoot, but how about the “cowboy pirates” who squirmed around in triangles from “Final Justice”?
In terms of being disturbing, I have to point out just about everything from “Hobgoblins”. The rocking van at the beginning and end of the movie, Reputation Road, and Club Scum. Aw, gross!
The spasm-dancing in “Girl in Gold Boots.” Not that Leslie McRae was terrible looking, it was just that every move she made was about as sexy as watching a whippet writhe in a vise.
The old couple flirting in “The Incredible Melting Man.”
#18 JAY…I have to agree with you about the Eegah scene. In particular there is one point where Eegah is licking the shaving cream and screeching, Roxy is screaming, and Arch Hall Sr. is laughing in a decidedly maniacal manner. Then with all the sound being ADRed and not really matching up with what is happening on screen it just increases the creepiness. I cringe every time the episode reaches that point.
I admit that this scene was probly not intended to be sexy, but does it really have to in order to be unsexy?
Everyone else’s suggestions are great too. I love the weekend discussion board!
The can-can girls in Gunslinger. The way they danced was just plain silly, not sexy at all.
my my my my mitchell still makes me wanna puke, puke, puke, PUKE!
The shirtless wonder Tim from The Legend of Boggy Creek 2 Who thought he was buff? Himself? His dad? I just creeped myself out.
Hard to argue with any of those… Has anyone mentioned the old lady pawing the blond “English” chick in The Atomic Brain? Yuck.
How about The Blood Waters of Dr. Z? The doctor was actually less creepy drooling over the girl as a monster than he was a man. ICK!
Tim from Boggy Creek (Little Creature that he was) going without his shirt was not sexy in any way but what about Creepy Teacher getting a peek at Always Unhappy Girl’s underpants?
The underpants moment in Boggy Creek struck me as normal (gratuitous, yes) but normal. I would’ve looked, too, then felt immediately guilty. If those two girls had wrestled as Tom suggested, that would have been very sexy.
The bizarro leather bar performance art/dance scene in Warrior of the Lost World. What was that all about?!
A veritable cornucopia of ugh.
My votes are for Tor’s angora attraction to the reporter in “Bride of the Monster”, and just about any scene in “Horror of Spider Island”.
How about the dancing by the manly girl in Devil Doll?
Fortunately I tend to blot out of memory the beach scene in WWW of Batwoman, UNTIL SOMEBODY KEEPS REMINDING ME ON THIS FORUM. :shock: Aghhhhhhhhhh!
“Plenty of lip and tongue action.” It SOUNDS sexy, but all I can picture is the guy with the wire rack. And NO, I do not find you pleasing. :mad:
Not ONE person has mentioned Creepy Mom watching her daughter strip and bathe in Soultaker?
Oh, and in Eegah, recall the two lizards (the real lizards :smile: ) going at it as an allusion to RK’s intentions with the girl.
Yeah, I’d have to agree with the bath scene from Soultaker. Also, add the villan from Operation Double 007 making out with the chicks on his boat.
I would have to say MOST of Hobgoblins qualifies here. Not just the weird phone sex chick, but also the female lead’s stripping scene, which manages to be rather creepy and vile in spite of the fact that she doesn’t actually STRIP much. And of course, pretty much anything involving the permed, spandex-clad monstrosity and/or her oily bohunk of a Rambo wannabe boyfriend.
Then again, the sex scene in Laserblast does feature the most stomach-churning close-ups I’ve ever scene, so that may just take the prize in terms of individual moments.
The part in Soultaker when the girl is undressing for her bath in slow motion. Just because its slow-mo doesn’t make it sexy!
All scenes in the strip club, plus the girl and her gaggle of photographers in The Brain that Wouldn’t Die,
The dance scenes in TISCTSLABMUZ
The odd looking Queen in Hercules Unchained (I think it’s that Hercules movie) As Crow says ‘The closer you get the stranger she looks’
All the odd photo sessions in Sinister Urge. The girls aren’t sexy, especially Big Ethyl, and they put them ‘in more clothes than they ever wore in their life’
Nicolletta – #14 Great call re: Zombie Nightmare!