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Weekend Discussion Thread: Cell PhonesAlert regular Jay suggests:
Have at it! 77 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Cell Phones”Commenting at Satellite News
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but…think of all the hours the rotary dial phone has filled up in these movies!
an interesting by-product of this topic is ‘what would the ringtones be for MST’d characters?’
The Sinister Urge would be interesting with all the kids on the internet viewing women who are fully-clothed in long draperies.
If cell phones had been around during all the giant bug/mutated lizard movies, there’d have been no need to argue with the military or sheriffs or parents or any other authority figures. People would just have posted selfies with the creatures, and the news would have been all over social media in no time. It would have cut down on the amount of time trying to convince people there was something in the cave/at the farm/up in the gully/in the river by half. I wonder what the film makers would have used to pad out the movie instead?
Mike in Manos could have just used Google Maps to get the directions to Valley Lodge.
Well, without getting into specifics, it sure would have made it a lot easier for lots of those actors to phone it in.
Instead of crowds of people running from the giant, rampaging monsters destroying the city (Gorgo, Godzilla, any of Gamera’s foes, etc.) they would all stand still and film the monsters with their phone cameras. At least until they got crushed or vaporized.
I Michael were using Google Maps, perhaps they’d not have gotten lost in their search for Valley Lodge in the first place.
Er, check that: more than likely he’d have ended up in a much, MUCH worse place.
but there was no cell phone…
The crotchety old timer in The Brute Man.
In Monster a Go-Go, there’d be a huge variety of various ringtone choices possible for an actor to vocally imitate, pretending it’s his phone ringing.
If Jimmy had used a cell phone to call Kitty in I Accuse My Parents, Mr. Blake might never have found out about them.
Plus, Jimmy could have used his cell to call Mr. Blake and tell him how much he likes him.
i imagine a lot of phones being conveniently ‘lost’ whenever john agar called in to declare scientist induced martial law. or when he was just calling in.
would his ring tone be ‘i hate you!?’
That WOULD be a good future WDT, Duke of Puddles! If anyone is interested, we had a WDT on 2/23/2013 about MST3K ringtones for ourselves and it was great reading. I can’t post the link for some reason.
If everyone had a cell phone in Avalanche, one hopes they would have had weather alerts and warnings. However, I’m pretty sure that even so, since they were all dumber than a pile of rock salt, they would have died and/or been buried in all that styrofoam. I mean snow.
or Torgo could have called the temp agency and gotten a better gig.
Very true. Or the character could have just pulled out an obviously fake cell phone and started talking because it was on silent.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dKiaRUKgmA
You just know that somewhere that “sound effect is available for a ring tone.
Century 21 Calling…
TOUCH SCREEN PHONING!!
Leech Woman could use Tinder to find men.
Now available at Rifftrax:
“Vacation Days,” the fourth in the Teen Agers series riffed by Bridget and Mary Jo.
The shorts “Someday” and “What is a Map” riffed by Mike, Kevin, and Bill.
The VODs “Karate Cop” and “Subspecies IV: The Awakening” riffed by Mike, Kevin, and Bill.
Enjoy.
For that matter, she could have used Google to find pineal juice for sale online.
The crappy band in Pod People could have called for help when the groupie got killed and avoided Tommy’s house. Also: camera phone pictures of baby Trumpy vs the adult whatever that was could prove they were two different aliens. It would give the plot more sense, but I don’t know if it would improve it.
If the folks in “Escape 2000” had cellphones they’d get a voice or text message to Leave the Bronx!
Damn, I posted too soon. Where was I going with that?
Johnny from the Cheating short would’ve received word of his student council fate in a group text.
All because he wasn’t smart enough to leave Mary alone and use the phone for test cheating in the first place.
DarkGrandmaofDeath:
There’s a whole sub-discussion right there: How many “Why don’t you believe me?” storylines would be different in our “Instagram, or it didn’t happen” culture?
Dave Ryder with a cell phone
Sprint Longdistance
Charge McBlackberry
Tech Obsolete
Hack FaceTime
Low Batterylife
Maybe you were going to put this in the Crotchety Old Guy’s mouth –
“I don’t have no stinkin’ cell phone and I like it that way!”.
Yes! Hating young people with their technology, and the hula hoops, and the pierced I-don’t-know-whats, that’s exactly what I meant.
Monster.com, maybe?
In Mitchell, Cummings could just text Mistretta, and he could add Gallano to the chat.
Instead of walking to town, the teens in Village of the Giants could have just called an Uber.
“The Dead Talk Back” – with unlimited talk and and text, why not?
The lovely young innocent at the end of The Brain That Wouldn’t Die would’ve called her girlfriend real quick on her cellphone, and the creepy Dr. Bill wouldn’t have found it so easy to lure her to the summer place.
All the movies prominently featuring teenagers would be radically different: more would get eaten by the various monsters because they’d be staring at their phones the whole time. And Chase in Giant Gila Monster would have to find a different way to get a jump on the other garages: there would be no party line to listen in to.
I’m having a hard time imagining exactly what Hercules and Mycheesesteak and their cohorts would do with cellphones, but the movies would be more interesting to watch if they had them.
But the roads would’ve still been in a terrible condition. In fact, they’d get constant alerts from Accuweather app about the dense fog.
In “The Day the Earth Froze”, instead of making a couple hundred konteles and playing boring music to drone the witch’s minions to sleep, they could have just copied the song onto everyone’s phone, and they’d all play it back at the same time.
In The Girl in Lovers Lane, instead of attracting attention to himself by changing a fifty in the pool hall, Danny would have paid for everything using Apple Pay. Then called an Uber to take Big Stupid and him to their flophouse. So no fight in the alley. And the whole movie would have been even more boring.
Smart phones would have been very useful in “Girls Town”. Mel Torme’s character could have recorded the girl fleeing the scene and used it to back up his claim that Silver Morgan killed Chip. But on the other hand, it’s likely that several members of Silver’s gang would have video of her partying with them at the time of Chip’s death.
There are also several times in the movie when the inability to reach someone by landline leads to problems. If everyone carried smartphones like they do today, that would have been avoided.
There still would be plenty of movie because there would be plenty of people getting eaten taking selfies with the monster. The Creeping Terror might actually make a little bit more sense, because the victims have a reason to stand there while the monster slowly creeps too close.
I guess you were just yelling into the void.
Just imagine the scene where Tanya and Leslie introduce Crenshaw to the wonders of the hand-held internet.
“Oh, ye mean like them there sites with nekkid ladies gettin’ up ta all kinds of shenanigans? Heck yeah, I got a BUNCH of them on here, lemme showya . . . “
“It’s Monster dot com, singular.” My personal favorite gag on The Office. :)
Instead of going through all of the trouble of building a Sampo they could have just downloaded the Sampo app from the App Store.
AH Good point. If they got those alerts, they would have found a better place to stay and avoided that whole crappy park to begin with. Everyone would have survived, the horny backup singer would have found someone to sleep with, maybe the bimbo groupie would have too…Heck maybe they could have just hit Tinder for that too.
And where would they carry them? Horseback riding really would be “Owwie-Owwie! Owwie-Owwie!”
What’s a sampo?
Or, for Film Crew, “Giant of Marathon”–The heroic Greek runner who ran 26 miles to deliver a message.
Somehow, I don’t think a cell phone would’ve made a difference in “Zombie Nightmare”. The rather stupid victims who run past clearly marked “Exit” doors would’ve just thrown perfectly good cell phones at the rampaging zombie.
Yep, plus it never even occurred to them to call 911 after attempted robbery or the hit and run.
HAMLET by text –
To be, or not to be on low batt: that is the question …
To sleep, perchance to recharge –
Brevity is the soul of tweeting.
Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Siri.
In the short, “Last Clear Chance” we would finally know the answer to “Why don’t they look?”
They were texting.