Alert regular “Torque the Dorque” writes:
SPACE FORCE
Who should be part of our Space Force (whenever it’s created) and why?
I would pick Winky because he is very experienced in riding the rocket.
I’m going to go with Lt. Makonnen, from the movie in episode 902- THE PHANTOM PLANET, who suggests that the wisest and best is to fix out attention on the good and beautul, if you’ll only take the time to look at it.”
Who, from MST3k characters, would you pick?
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Professor Herringway from FIRST SPACESHIP ON VENUS –
The new motto for the new Space Force could be “How much does a Herringway IN SPACE!!!”.
Bonus Benefit – Herringway could bring Omega the robo-dog.
(This entry has been edited per the added request)
I pick the cartoon American and Russian astronaut/cosmonaut from the opening credits of Moon Zero Two. They can fly a spaceship & they’re plenty tough. Either them or Akton from Starcrash, because apparently he can do pretty much anything.
Capt. Dave Ryder of ‘Mutiny in Space.’
every space program needs a large burly blonde male who can shriek at uncomfortably high octaves whenever it’s fightin’ time.
plus he’d be a great source of not necessarily friendly nicknames when the crew is bored or really gets tired of his act.
wow…first one out of the gate.
Definitely have to include Prince of Space! Because, of course, our enemies weapons would be useless against us!
Some people.
Ken from “Fugitive Alien”.
After all, Ken, you’ve got nothing better to do since… YOU’RE STUCK HERE!!!
But for actual leadership we need Captain Ron Codpiece from ’12 to the Moon’
Lt. Lamont, from Space Mutiny: hard worker, puts in a good shift even when she’s dead.
Prince of Space, because, whomever we would encounter out there, THEIR WEAPONS–
mando3b beat me to Lt. Lamont, so I’ll say the plucky unnamed cosmonaut in Marooned. He was brave and helpful, but he’ll have to work on his catching skills.
Every single Air Force pilot from The Starfighters. They are so boring and dull that no one on Earth would miss them if they were transferred to Space Force and stationed for decades off the planet.
On the other hand, how about the worst people for Space Force?
1. The entire crew of ‘Rocketship X-M’, with the possible exception of Dr. Lisa Van Horn, who did her job while rejecting Floyd Graham’s sexist remarks.
2. All the emotional scientists from ‘King Dinosaur’. Not every problem should be solved with an atomic bomb.
3. The staff of NASA (all three of them) from ‘Monster a Go-Go’ for being duped into an alien snipe hunt.
4. Space Chief from ‘Invasion Of The Neptune Men’. Despite his name, he never once goes into space. He’s “Barely Off The Stupid Ground Chief”.
Cal Meachum, from This Island Earth. If he’s smart enough to build an Interocitor, he would definitely be a valuable addition.
Trump’s will have them gussed up to beat the band. They will wind up looking like a real Snickerdodel.
I have been watchfully waiting for someone else to do it –
BUT THERE WAS NO SPACE FORCE.
I’ll nominate any of Colonial Viper pilots in Space Mutiny. If they could somehow navigate the continuity and legal divide between BSG and that movie, they can surely fly right through anything actual space can dish out.
Slightly off topic, but I just started watching the relatively obscure toy cartoon ‘Starcom: The U.S. Space Force’, supposedly produced in part to get kids interested in NASA. If the reboot or Rifftrax has any interest in tackling half-hour cartoon episodes, I’d say the stars and zeitgeist have aligned for that particular show.
Agreed on Ken. Captain Joe, too. So there’s someone to tell Ken, “YOU’RE STUCK HERE!”
And because Captain Joe will need a drinking buddy, Admiral King from “Women of the Prehistoric Planet.”
How about Elle from “Starcrash”? With that peculiar accent, it would make an interesting Magic Voice for the mothership, minus the magic. Or it could be used as target practice.
I’ll go with Captain Santa and Lt Lamont from Space Mutiny. Gotta be a good captain if he can persuade the dead to stay on the job, and she’s clearly got a fantastic work ethic to finish the shift.
But definintely not Bridge LargeMeat. Who wants a big beefy guy who screams like a girl when he’s trying to pep talk? And doesn’t mind dating the captain’s mother/daughter. Oh wait….
And add turkey boy from Riding with Death. His talents could be useful.
In searching for info on this Space Force, I found something for a late seventies TV movie of the same name and starring a young Fred Willard of Rifftrax “Missile to the Moon”.
Crazy idea: Send the guest riffer of “Missile To The Moon” and original member of “Space Force” to this wonderful version of Space Force, because why the heck not!
Coleman Francis. Not only would we finally learn how that flag on the moon got there, but he also makes a terrific stewardess.
Jet Jaguar.
1. He would add to the international flavor of the team, same as many other previous suggestions.
2. A robot who can program himself to grow many times his normal size when necessary. Really? That wouldn’t come in handy?
C. He comes with theme music.
ok i am no expert on rocket propulsion or physics but i’m guessing that ship is going to need a TON of thrust to get off the ground with the 30.5 gigaliters of hooch for those two.
Captain Santa has already proven to be mutiny prone….sorry.
Send Commando Cody.
Surely his nipple, nipple, tweak, tweaking can be useful somewhere!
Can I remove my “like” then?
“No CONTEMPORARY political commentary. Thanks.”
Finally, my massive backlog of Rutherford B. Hayes jokes won’t go to waste!
I think it would be more fitting to go with the four (down from six)-person NASA from Night of the Blood Beast: they have a truck, a jeep, an Elmer Fudd hat no longer being worn, and a photographer, all of which would come in handy. Plus they would know what to do in case a member of the Space Force gets shrimped on deployment.
I think Crow and Servo’s performance as hot-shot space fighter pilots qualifies them for the space force. At least they have the dogfight-in-space banter down:
“Eat death, Servo!”
“Eat munchy-crunchy chocolatey cocoa death, Crow!”
“Enjoy a nice serving of brown Betty with death… but mostly just eat death!”
Also no matter who’s involved we need to budget for a healthy supply of SPACOM.
Maj. John Corcoran from Night of the Blood Beast. He would provide invaluable help in terra-forming alien worlds when his shrimp hatch.
I’m going to think outside the box and go with Carrie from Girl in Lovers Lane. True, her character has nothing to do with space, but with her experience in the diner she could cook up delicious space food for the Space Force. And it would get her out of that miserable town and away from those miserable people she’s surrounded by.
(And boy, does it catch fish…)
While we’re at it, get SPACOM to design the uniforms: Summer-camp shirts and bathing caps for everyone!
Oh, and no walking on the walls. They have to keep posting reminders.
Hi all,
This isn’t really part of the weekend post, I’m going crazy as to which episode it is where Frank and Dr.F share a moment on there couch and which tv and Mike and the bots see it and are speechless.
What episode is this from?
Thanks
Duke of Puddles –
Now just what do you think they have been using for fuel!?
It’s Beginning of the End, which I just watched!
Santa Claus would be a great space ambassador. He conquered the Martians with his jolly demeanor, making him perfect for pacifying any threats from hostile aliens.
Frank Douglas.
maybe, but I still think it would be hard to beat out Phantom of Krankor.
imagine him walking up to a delegation of intergalactic lemurs and proudly proclaiming ‘it’s useless to resist us ! HA ha HA ha HA ha HA haaaaaaa.’
Gamera. Using some sort of system, maybe a detachable cargo pallet, he can move satellites, components, and manned vehicles into orbit cheaply and quickly. He would be paid with…plants or whatever turtles really like. His status as friend of all children can get more kids involved in STEM studies.
Don’t forget the missions he flew over North Korea. Very topical.
Rifftrax is having a sale.
Get 15% off riffs with coupon code LEARN in their Back to School Sale.
Enjoy.
TY, last time I was able to finish off my Norman collection. ;)
Me? No–I would never! I can’t imagine why you would even think…
Okay, I think I’m going to have to sit this one out.
Long live NASA!
No, no, no. A guy who is constantly being found alive and of normal size 3,000 miles away just will not do.
For England… AND THE QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNN!!!
What about Johnny AKA Steve? He’s already well prepared to deal with any potential Space Parrots who impregnate astronauts with baby shrimp.