We had the announcement that the new Doctor from Doctor Who is going to be a woman. There was the all-female “Ghostbusters” and now we have “Oceans Eight.”
I thought: what MSTed movies would be improved with women in previously male roles (and who would star)? I wonder what Mitchell would have been like with a woman as the star (maybe Tyne Daly)? What do you all think?
How about remake of “Lost Continent”? It would certainly give rock climbing a different feel. How about Lucy Davis in the Sid Melton role?
What’s your pick?
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Boggy Creek II –
Now I will be suffering all day with the mental of Crenshaw as a female. How would they handle the dangling overall strap issue?
Um… isn’t this how we got Wild World of Batwoman in the first place?
Wow, lots of potential here. It would certainly give Angels Revenge an entirely different vibe. And then there’s Blood Waters of Dr. Z…but that could be a little disturbing, so let’s forget that.
Instead, I’ll focus on one of the shorts. What if we had A Young Woman’s Fancy, with Jeffy getting all squishy over a visit from his sister’s friend Alexandra Phipps? Alexandra could spend all her time hanging around Jeffy and his dad, explaining electric razors and power tools, and maybe offering to iron one of Jeffy’s shirts (using an electric iron!) so they can sit around listening to an electric record player. Either way, though, I’m sure the characters would be every bit as annoying.
i don’t know why, but i have this strange urge to see Winona Ryder as Torgo….
Fire Maidens of Outer Space. Though one could argue that Lois McMaster Bujold’s Ethan of Athos already does this.
Well,if you switched Glenn Manning with a female,then you’d have Allison Hayes as the 50 foot woman…
What about Frank Chapman from The Phantom Planet?? Maybe Rosario Dawson or Sandra Bullock??
Who could play Cabot?? Let me see..Kim Cattrall?? Hilary Swank?? Demi Moore?
Who could play Trash from Escape 2000?? Kathy Long? Cynthia Rothrock??
Phyllis Diller (or Roseanne Barr) as Krankor, Anne Hathaway as Princess of Space.
‘Viking Women Vs The Sea Serpent’ would become just be a normal Viking movie.
All the Hercules movies Would become ‘Xena, Warrior Princess’.
‘Mr B Natural’ would become…even more confusing.
Phyllis Diller as Krankor is the most beautiful and perfect casting concept since Robert Preston as Harold Hill.
its
Amazing Colossal Woman.
and
War of the Colossal Breast (Beast)
The Brute Woman?
Viking Men vs. the Sea Serpent?
The Pumawoman?
Or, just have every man in Gorgo changed to a woman…………meaning the entire cast!
Recasting Cindy Butler and Serene Hedin with young men in Boggy Creek 2 would result in the most disturbingly wrong movie ever presented on Mystery Science Theater.
I’m happy I’m getting my comment in before the predictable torrent of female-hating vitriol from a certain troll. Hey, I take my gratitude where I can.
“The Final Sacrifice” with Linda Hamilton as Zappa Rowsdower. Unlike the original Rowsdower, her character would kick that devil-worshipping cult’s butt.
Mr. B Natural starring Johnny Weir as Mr. B and Tara Lipinski as Buzz.
Johnny has the sense of style and can easily do the physical dancing. Tara seems to be his sidekick while broadcasting so Buzz is a natural role.
I’m trying to think of a female character to turn male but all I can think of is Ray Liotta.
And for Watney, a glasses-wearing Kathy Ireland.
If The Violent Years had been gender switched, a certain scene (you know which one) probably would have provoked a different reaction.
How about a female Godzilla in Godzilla vs Megalon? And Jet Jaguar now a Fem-Bot? Oy. Now that I think of it, didn’t the terrible 1998 movie make Godzilla a female?
You are actually implying that the Ghostbusters reboot featuring an all-female cast was an ‘inprovement’?
It was a flop. Why? Because the leftist loons thought that simply BECAUSE it had an all-female cast somehow we were just all supposed to flock to go see it, instead of making a quality movie. Remember the backlash that ensued when the Hollywood Obama-worshippers were labeling every person who didn’t pay money to see it as a ‘sexist’? You see, we don’t have to make good movies, we’re just supposed to make politically-correct movies. Damn the quality.
The Dr. Who thing will be the same, you wait and see. If you say you saw it and simply didn’t like it, then you’re a sexist. If you simply choose(remember when we had choice in America, instead of fascist liberalism?)to not watch it, you will be a sexist.
Whether or not it’s actually GOOD will be irrelevant. Flock to see it like the rest of the sheep because you just don’t want to be called a sexist.
Obama gave use this sense of oppressive fascism. It’s taking a long time to bring us all out of that haze.
But that would be Attack of the 60 Foot Woman!
I don’t think the world is ready for a female Torgo….
That said, Kathy Griffin would be interesting in the part.
Try to keep your politics (and your clear evidence of brainwashing) out of this thread. This is merely a supposition; no “politically correct” nonsense. Besides, they were doing female versions of classic films long before this thread: The Invisible Woman; Attack of the 60 Foot Woman; The Paula DuPre Ape Woman series (essentially a female version of The Wolf Man). In the classic 1931 movie The Front Page, the character of Hildy was originally male, and the 1940 remake, His Girl Friday, cast Rosalind Russell in the role. So, this is not unusual, and your ignorance only shames you.
The only thing curious about Oceans 8 being a “female-dominated” version is the fact it has a lesser number than the other Oceans films. Which either means that they couldn’t find 11 talented actresses or are still downgrading the female version in a subconscious way.
We disliked the Ghostbusters film because it was crap, not because it was a “female-dominated” film. Whether there was a political decision to hire a female cast is irrelevant; when a movie fails, it’s more because of the writing, the acting, or the special effects. The fact that the cast was female being the SOLE cause of the film’s failure is bullcrap.
And we will check out the new series of Doctor Who to see how a new actor approaches the role, just like we’ve done for over 50 years. The idea that the Doctor could change gender has been part of the mythology since the Tom Baker era, but it was only realized in the modern era (a Time Lord changed gender previously, and The Master became Missy). Give the new actor a chance WITHOUT inserting your petty political viewpoint into the decision to hire her. If we don’t like it, it’s because we don’t like the approach (Capaldi), NOT because of any “sexist” opinion.
So, again, don’t pollute a simple hypothetical thread with your ignorance. It’s tiresome and it’s unwelcome.
Pod People is another film that would totally change if genderflipped. Can you imagine the female friend of the female lead singer telling the boyfriend that screwing around is just a part of the rock star image?
But then he’d smell like Apple Betty, right?
Well said Kali. I second that.
Wow. Where’s GareChicago when you need them?
Has it? It true that the Tom Baker era saw the first female Time Lord with Romana, but that’s not quite the same thing. Perhaps you could cite an episode. The earliest instance of a Time Lord regenerating into a different gender which comes to mind is the parody piece The Curse of the Fatal Death.
The husbands of Manos getting into a big thong-underwear punch-up?……Nnnnnno.
As they say in Shakespeare, what, has this thing appeared again? Didn’t we already officially troll-Out Froggie and boot him off back during the first Netflix season?
(Now, take note, folks: THIS is “trolling”. When it trots out every single cliche’ that pushes buttons on other forums, doesn’t really have a clue about the real arcana the group talks about, and just sits around waiting for someone to offhandedly mention religion, race or Trump. Would’ve died out back with Usenet, if it hadn’t been so “mythologized” with kids who weren’t alive to see the 90’s.)
Or, because female-comedy screenwriters could only FIND seven standard symbolic tropes of gags to portray other women: The harried suburban supermom, the detestable shopaholic, the mousy boyfriend-slave, etc.
They were lucky they could find four female Ghostbusters.
None that I know of.
The whole “Why can’t the Doctor be a woman?” surfaced at the same time as “Why can’t 007 be a woman?”, which was back during “Why can’t we have more female Marvel super heroines?”
Which started bringing up the question with real feminists of why women “need” to coattail on more popular franchises instead of making their own…Because we wouldn’t notice if they did, you see.
“THe mIStRess would NoT lIke it…”
Actually, I can see Kate McKinnon playing Torgo (Torga?) easily. She could play the hell out of it (so to speak).
And if MST3K were to take on Glen Or Glenda under the circumstances of this thread theme, they could arguably still use the original.
Bride of the Monster (Husband of the Monster?)
Sofia Vergara taking over for Lugosi. Because the Gabor sisters are all dead…
Well, what came to me was the cast of “Friends” in a remake of “Hobgoblins”. My choices of casting are not set in stone, if anyone comes up with a better alternative.
1. Jennifer Aniston as Kevin/Carol
2. Courtenay Cox as Kyle/Kylie
3. Lisa Kudrow as Nick/Natalie
4. Matthew Perry as Amy/Arny
5 David Schwimmer as Fantasia/Fantastica
6. Matt LeBlanc Daphne/Dante.
What do you think, MSTies?
Or it might cause Servo’s head to explode again.
How about Racket Girls with females as the wrestlers?
What? They were?!?
Never mind.
The Guy in Gold Boots
“I had a handsome mind! I wish I had that handsome mind back!”
Space Mutiny would have to be captained by Mrs Claus and portrayed by Melissa McCarthy. Tilda Swinton would take on the role of antagonist Kalgan. Ryder would by played by a jacked Gwendolyn Christie, while Chris Pratt assumes the role of Grandpason!
The short, Home Economics Story could have a Bosom Buddies feel, just don’t look, look, look at the crotch!
Hired! …would probably be unbelievably sexist now.
Sidehackers.
I guess Women of the Prehistoric Planet would have actually lived up to it’s name.
Oh, now The Expendables makes sense! It was just a gender-swapped remake of Angels’ Revenge!
One hyphenated word:
“Mommy-O.”
“Young man, you hike those pants up or you’re not leaving this house!”
….I REFUSE to go any further with this…
Final Sacrifice- I have no idea who would play Rowsdower but it would be amazing.
Also Space Mutiny, for similar reasons.
Hmmm…
In “Project Moon Base”, male Gen. Greene threatens to spank cute, petulant Col. Briteis. The result is a very sexist, male chauvinist scene. But, if a female Gen. Greene threatens to spank handsome, male Col. Briteis…
SERVO: Yes! Yes, spank me! I’ve been a very bad astronaut!
Wait, wasn’t female Torgo married to Shasteen in Red Zone Cuba? Sure it was just one riff, but an important link between the two experiments…
Woah, just realized a whole auxiliary can of worms this opens up (’cause some worms are hermaphrodites, get it?)
No, not pondering female Coleman Francis, but female Fidel Castro! No wait, Japan already gave us a game in that vein:
https://kotaku.com/5965074/hitler-in-a-mini-skirt-and-stalin-in-hot-pants-infamous-dictators-as-anime-ladies/
Ahem. The broader point being, would real life and pre-established mythical figures have their genders switched too? Would female Ben Franklin have haunted the spendthrift lass in Money Talks, or would it have been the half-ghost of the Sacajawea dollar?
Would the Time Chasers have transported into the middle of a pivotal battle between mad Queen Georgia’s female Redcoats and the Minutewomen? Which actresses would play Herculena (and lady-Machiste for that matter), and would the point of the female Argonauts’ quest for the golden fleece have been to reclaim the Minoan matriarchy from the northern patriarchal invaders by showing that it came from an ewe instead of a ram?
And if Casablanca had it’s sexes switched…actually, all I can think of now is Aria Fingal holding out that soupbowl and saying, “Dad…my nuts?”
Actually, after Tom Baker announced he was leaving the show, he was interviewed, and when he was asked about what other man could be cast, he remarked, “Well, why must the Doctor be a man? He could very well become a woman!” That’s when it started. No one took it seriously then, but, after all, if you can alter your appearance, why would one be limited by gender?
I’m not so interested in this topic, but what about THIS one: what female host would you want for a new season of MST3K (not saying Josh should be replaced per se, just wondering if there’s anyone folks around here wouldn’t mind seeing instead).
My own choice might be the gal Ellie Kemper, who would have the right touch of innocence and humor.
The Beatniks.
“Shut up, Irving.”
Donald Sutherland could play the role of the record producer’s secretary.
The Beast of Yucca Flats. Starring Natalya Trukhina. It’s the same movie.
The only woman I can think of who has the comedic force to outshine Joel/Mike/Jonah AND is still alive is Carol Burnett.As a bonus, she’s working for Netflix. Come to think of it “A little help with Carol, Tom, and Crow” might be a great crossover promotion.
Danger: Death Ray with Charlize Theron as Barbara Fargo, who can look to the right to see if that’s where the bad guy ran off to. Carrie Ann-Moss could be a likable Warrior of the Lost World. Tina Fey as Fiona “Fingers” O’Toole in Catalina Caper.
The Starfighters!
It would certainly be refreshing to know that even if all the pilots and officers were female, it would still be a dreadfully boring movie.
The Brain That Wouldn’t Die!
Something about seeing Dan in the Pan as his obsessed fiance Dr. Jill Cortner goes to sleazy strip clubs and fashion shows to pick out the perfect replacement body that would definitely be a different take! And it would still be creepy!
Gunslinger!
Just the rewording alone from Google is enticing: “When his marshal wife is murdered, Rosemont Hood (Joel Mcrea) slides on her holster and takes her dangerous duty. This riles local brothel gentleman Eric Page (Brian Donlevy), so he employs Canetta Miro (Beverly Garland), a hired gun with an axe to grind, to bring an end to Hood and his brand of justice.”
Finally we would get a western with a male protagonist cleaning up the town! Just imagine: a guy that’s a marshal! Boggles the mind and we still get Beverly Garland!
I guess are we really doing the female gender any favors by recasting them into these MSTed male roles? Because after all, the scripts aren’t changing. They’d be playing those roles just as boring, foolish, and stupid as the males they’d be replacing.
Also between Viking Women and the Sea Serpent, Gunslinger, and Swamp Diamonds, Roger Corman of all people looks like a somewhat progressive director, either purposefully through the exploitation or indirectly via the same. But the women certainly come off better than the males in those movies. They show more range too.