Our pal “Yeti of Great Danger” suggests:
Mystery Science Theater Mysteries, things/people/events from MST’ed movies that were never explained and made no sense, even for a bad B movie. Some of these things may have been explained later in interviews, etc., but if someone was watching the movie for the first time with no background, what’s a total mystery?
Mine is who is that woman in the photo on Rowsdower’s dashboard? Girlfriend, wife, ex? Dead sister? Is he stalking someone?
Mine would have to be: “In The Touch of Satan,” why show us where the fish lives and not tell us more about the fish? Is he a great white? A nice tasty red snapper? The world wants to know!
Your turn.
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Who exactly were the Mole People? Was it the underground creatures who dug up dirt? Was it their overlords, the people of Ishtar? Was it the scientists who discovered them? And for goodness sake, don’t ask John Agar to explain, about this or any other MST mystery!!
Santa Claus –
Now let’s get this straight. Santa can afford to live in a custom high altitude lair filled with all kinds of gadgets, right? So why didn’t he just slip Lupita’s dad a few thousand pesos so he could buy Lupita a nice doll and, I don’t know, maybe get the guy a steady job?
why was johnny longbone so damned determined to rush the Halloween season? aren’t all the holidays important? and do we really need to be in such a rush to get to Christmas shopping? oh and on a side note…i’d love a glock and a wheat penny for my gift this year,
What really happened at the candy counter in San Fransisco International? Who punched our diet gum-chewing passenger?
I’ve actually tried to figure this out more than once, and it doesn’t add up. Mr. Woodruff says the hippie cut in line at the candy counter, then, when Woodruff confronted him later, the hippie punched him. But the hippie’s alibi only proves he wasn’t at the candy counter, not that he wasn’t the one who punched him. But the hippie is released, anyway.
Was detective Clu Gulager in on the conspiracy? Was there a second hippie on the grassy knoll? I must know!
In ‘Gamera Vs Guiron’, why was Akiyo so obsessed with traffic accidents? Did his dad die in one? Does Akiyo work for the Japanese highway commission?
Why was there no Monster in Monster a Go-Go. what were they chasing after anyway?
Space Mutiny. How was Lt. Lamont able to return to work so soon after being shot and killed? Was she protected by her enormous package?
wasn’t John Saxon in this film?
Tonight on MST3K Unsolved Mysteries. The story of a lonely woman who was strangled to death by a mysterious man at the start of “Beast of Yucca Flats.” Who was she, and what was her purpose in the movie?
Werewolf (Worewilf, Wirewalf, Woolworth) –
What in the world was Natalie’s native language? Did the archeology team invite her to Arizona because of her outstanding work at the University of Wroclav? Did becoming a worewilf improve her language skills?
why does Buzz kill the guy who’s giving him a fortune in drugs? Is it because he’s so young?
How the hell DID that flag get on the moon? And what does Tor Johnson have to do with it?
Mr. B Natural –
Possibly the greatest mystery in all of MST3K. How is Mr. B Natural, so obviously a finely figured female in a day when artificial enhancement was not a thing, become a MR.? Poor Buzz. At a stage in his life where such matters were confusing enough he was presented with Glenn or Glenda. Victor or Victoria. Help the kid out and solve this identity crisis.
Who WAS Merritt Stone?!?!?
Yeah, Touch Of Satan trampled all over the Chekhov’s Fish rule of storytelling. If you establish there’s a fish in the first act, the fish should factor into the story later, COME ON!
The question that has begged to be answered for twenty years!
Has anybody seen Neptune man’s record?
Biggest unsolved “Huh???” is the Hitler Building
I’ve mentioned this one before, from Angel’s Revenge, which one voted with a live bullet cartridge to crush Sticks under the car? (my guess was Trish) And another from Legend of Boggy Creek II, Tanya announces lunch of “baloney sandwiches and pork and beans” and Doc say,”great, one of my favorites.” But they never disclose which exactly is his favorite. A major plot hole in the script.
Umm… Space Mutiny’s Bellerians. Who were they? Apart from the interpretive dance interludes, they advanced the plot in exactly what way?
In “Yongary”, remember that light ray gadget that makes people itch as a side effect? Just what exactly was the purpose of that gadget? What was it supposed to do besides make people itch?
I’ve never understood why Michael insisted on staying at the first house that he saw out in the middle of nowhere. He didn’t even ask for directions to his intended destination, or any other sort of assistance before deciding to settle in. Where did he get the idea that he could just invite himself to stay, even after Torgo told him that he was just the caretaker, that he didn’t have permission from the homeowner, and given what he knew of the owner he was unlikely to get said permission.
If the car had somehow failed, even if the headlights were broken I might understand it. Even then he should have been more deferential to the man that he was imposing on. He just pulls up in late afternoon with his wife, brat AND mutt and demands to stay, and then makes a man with a partial disability help with the luggage.
In Devil Doll, Hugo legitimately murdered Butt-Lady, for no real reason other than Varelli said she called him ugly.
Oh here’s one. In Prince of Space, we are repeatedly informed that “your weapons are useless against me”. Yet, unless we are expected to attribute it to our hero’s prancing-about behavior, we have no explanation for why this might be.
So is this in fact true? Does he have some power that *literally* renders Krankor’s weapons ineffective? Is he from some Japanese equivalent of the Planet Krypton and therefore our sun’s rays make him invulnerable? Is it his stylish costume?
Or is he merely talking smack?
Space Mutiny is full of unanswered questions. Why the heck DID the engineer wander out of the engine room, only to announce that he needed to get back to the engine room?
What was the guy at the studio in “The Pod People” trying to accomplish by wearing that “I’m a Virgin” T-shirt? If he was trying to show that he believed that the only proper place for sexual intercourse was within the bounds of marriage, using the shirt to signal that fact to women with similar beliefs with which to form a long-term pair bond, why was he hitting on the groupie hanging around the sound board?
Maybe he just got it cheap at the Goodwill and was too socially clueless to understand what it meant. Or maybe he really has the hots for the lead singer, which would make it even more inexplicable.
1102 Cry Wilderness leaves so much unanswered:
– Why does the mean ol’ teacher suddenly believe in Bigfoot at the end, just because Paul’s dad said “Yeah, Bigfoot totally exists”?
– What the hell happened to Morgan Hicks after his eyes were gouged out?
– What danger was Paul’s dad ever in, aside from the danger caused by Paul’s presence and constant misbehaviour in the first place?
– Red Hawk: WHYYYYYYYYY?
In Laserblast, why was Ron Howard in a light plane shooting at Eddie Deezen and his friend? Did the director suddenly hit his head and think he was Coleman Francis?
It was probably explained in one of the episodes that didn’t get used, but what was the deal with the flying saucer in Time of the Apes? It occasionally pops up to mess with the apes and, thanks to the magic of Sandy Frank, we have no idea why.
Why was the cigarette hag so intent on showing off the dog’s meat? Is it something that she’s proud of? Does she mention it to others when she sees them? Has everyone on the island seen the dog’s meat?!
1) Mike Fishman made his home in the pond on my walnut ranch for decades. We respected his privacy, so Melissa just noted his home without elaboration. K?
2) Who was the Samurai kabuki theatre guy and other soldiers encountered by Ator and Dong, or Thong, or whatever his name was?
3) Did Ms. Shobie get her grocery delivery?
The KTMA version of the episode actually includes the explanation, but it’s long and boring and makes little sense anyway.
In Space Mutiny, what’s the deal with the Boris Karloff look-alike? If he’s one of Kalgan’s men, why is he divulging all this dirt to Chunk Beefchest and the mandrill lady? And if he’s not on Kalgan’s side, why has he kept all this stuff a secret up till now?
Was Arthur Godfrey disappointed that he did not get the opportunity to shine his love?
Ator’s glider. How long did it take him to build it? Because it seemed like he just had it ready, since he doesn’t have it one scene and then is in the air in the next. Surely, killing enough animals, skinning them, tanning the hides, building the frame and putting it all together would have taken a while. Several hours, if not days. If he had built it before hand, given how far they had travelled, where was he keeping it?
What did Mrs. Claus and the elves do with the Martians’ robot Torg? Did they take it apart and use it for materials? If it was “now just a harmless toy,” I imagine the elves could do a lot with it. And given a few extra parts, Mrs. Claus could find some uses for it too. ;)
In Red Zone Cuba, why was Phil Silvers rounding up corpses?
I agree. Little Trish was a mercenary. Remember, she also wanted a turn at crushing his jewels.
at what level does one learn the hi-keeba ? which kata is it from ? how many people have died performing it ?
did the crawling eye have a twin ? what about the crawling hand ?
which tribe was Cherokee Jack from ? The Eastern Band, United Keetoowah or Cherokee Nation ? And which clan ? The Bird, because he was a pilot ? or Wolf (controversial) ?
which kind of whip did Kitten use ?
Was post-war Japan really peaceful and tranquil ?
Most of mine have already been mentioned. The murder and necrophiliac rape at the beginning of The Beast of Yucca Flats might be the biggest WTF moment. I also wondered what all those people were doing so close to a nuclear test site.
In Angel’s Revenge why was Trish so eager to castrate and kill people when she had the least personal motivation to be involved? What was her home life like?
Why did Col. Glen Manning disobey orders and get himself nuked trying to save someone who was likely already dead? And the false sighting of the colossal man: what had the witness seen that he mistook for a 50 ft. tall man?
Phase 4: How did the celestial alignment make ants smart?
So the guy was hired to be a door to door car salesman? Really? And beefy Bob wondered why he wasn’t selling cars?
The Catalina PD looked the other way at the stolen art work AND the stolen yacht? The Louis Nye wanna be must have had good connections.
Thanks for using my WDT idea! The mysteries listed here will keep the mind of womankind and mankind busy for, um, a long time. Another true mystery to me — and I would love it if anyone knows the answer — why was Elaine’s voice dubbed throughout “The Horror of Party Beach”? Accent? Slurring? WHY??? I’m assuming it wasn’t a technical sound issue, because others in the scenes are perfectly understandable. Idiotic, but understandable.
Of course, the biggest question in Space Mutiny is why Kalgan is trying to get the “countermeasures” from mandrill lady, when his chief co-conspirator already knows all the countermeasures?
i need to know. really.
who the toucan sam jones was the ‘bowler’ guy at the end of ‘killer bees’
and where pray tell was Lembach so hot to get to that he couldn’t stay!!
In The Undead…
How did Allison Hayes get into that dress?
;)
Now, that I can answer. Earlier in the movie, a government office in London had received letters about the danger on Seagull Island, and a couple of men discussed it. The Bowler-Hatted Man was an official FINALLY coming to investigate. The joke was that he got there after the danger was past. Oh, that British humor.
“Touch of Satan” has who the heck Melissa’s mother and Father is. Are they her kids or are they people she let into her secret or someone else entirely? I wondered that after reading the write-up for the episode by Paul Chaplin.
Was that love?