Alert reader Torque the Dorque opines:
As fans, we love crappy movies. We mostly realize that wrong-way movie making can be spotted due to a variety of reasons; bad acting, script, special effects, directors (I’m looking at you Mr. Corman), editing, bad financing, etc. That’s what makes it so much fun for me. However, there are those WTF moments that leave me confused and want some sort of explanation of what happened.
A perfect example is the movie THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH. Why was Elaine Gavin’s part dubbed throughout the movie? Why did the “horrors” have a mouth full of hot dogs/pickles?
I am sure others feel the same way. Please add your WTF and/or explanation for these events. Speculating is fine but if you have data that backs up your claim please provide.
Um, the gun sliding down Mitchell’s pant leg. I know this sounds horrible but I think somebody thought it would seem sexy.
Off we go!
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dKiaRUKgmA
I think many of these can probably be chalked up to running out of time/money to finish the post production. Mine is the Beast of Yucca Flats. The whole thing. Why did Coleman Francis decide it was a good idea to keep the camera on the person who wasn’t speaking and overdub all the dialogue with screechy sounding chihuahuas?
but there was no monster.
From Space Mutiny: “Hey! Hey, she’s dead!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzspFQSIKq4
I just re-watched Wild Rebels, and once again was thinking, “How on earth do the cops think their plan of recruiting Steve Alaimo to infiltrate the gang will work?” And when all the police officers, security guards, gun store owners, and various people die, I keep wondering, “Was THIS the plan? Because it kind of sucks.”
So, in “Operation Double 007”, when the girls steal the cargo from the army convoy, why do they dress up as Old West dancing girls? (I mean, besides the obvious fan service reasoning.)
* did they even need to go to Cuba?
* the mysterious flying shirt of ‘Future Wax…War.’
* basically the concept in ‘Squirm’ that skinny southern girl found scrawny nerdy guy attractive. and vise versa.
Little Debbie becoming one of the Master’s brides. WTF were they thinking!?
The pool bar scene in Werewolf. Natalie: “So you and Noel is in it for fame and fortune? But over my dead body!” Now, did this marvelously awkward grammatical WTF moment happen because the writer’s first language wasn’t English, or the actress had the language issue, or everyone on set was higher than a kite? In the end, it doesn’t matter; I always laugh during this scene!
The emotional scientists using the atomic bomb to destroy the island of dinosaurs in ‘King Dinosaur’.
What? An island full of amazing scientific finds that could be studied later and supply valuable information? Lets blow it all up in a moment of panic.
And the fact that they make it off the island to the safety of the mainland proves they didn’t need to destroy it at all!
The rotating, spraying fountain of blood in Gamera vs. Gaos.
Tom summed it up best; “welcome to operation goofy”!
Yongary –
Attacking a multistory reptilian monster with ….
Itching powder. Ai, Macarena!
Why, oh why, did the director of Avalanche think it made any sense for the paramedics and ambulance drivers to suddenly start acting like Keystone Cops and killing/endangering people with their idiocy? Although I was darkly amused to see Drunk Mom “die as she lived, completely lit up.”
The entire premise of “The Brain That Wouldn’t Die”: I’m not a doctor, but I’m reasonably certain that: 1.) a severed head would not survive after a gruesome car crash, a sixty-yard touchdown run through the woods, and waiting in a cooler for Bill to build the beer bong/Grey Poupon apparatus; and 2.) even if it did, it wouldn’t be able to talk, even in a raspy half-whisper and even with the highest-vintage neck juice.
Also: Ator building a working hang glider in five minutes in the woods in “Cave Dwellers”.
Mitchell getting into a juvenile argument with a kid, and losing his cool. What the Heck Ramsey was the point of that?? It just makes him look stupid, immature, and obnoxious.
Going back to Werewolf, it always makes me shake my head: After Paul turns into a werewolf, he exits out the front door (nobody notices?), and then attacks two guys who were heading into the bar. They are left there, one of them probably dead. Then, a little while later, we get a shot of the bar entrance before heading in for Natalie and Yuri having their talk. No police, no crime scene, etc. So what, they swept up the two victims and it was back to business as usual? Or should I just relax?
Although I really can’t say for certain as I have never been confronted by the horrible visage of a large, slow moving, carpet remnant terror of a monster, I can almost guarantee that I would NOT assist said terror by wilfully climbing into its maw as it tried to slowly eat me.
But, maybe I would. Many did.
Just hope I never have to find out.
Another one from “Werewolf”… There’s a teen couple creepily/awkwardly making out in an open Jeep. The girl apparently sees Werewolf Paul making goofy faces on a dirt road a considerable distance away, and she starts screaming. Next we see her sort of running on the dirt road and falling into a muddy puddle, where she is finally attacked. Meanwhile, her boyfriend is…where?? And doing what??? It’s like he suddenly no longer exists.
On a similar note, there’s the scene in “Future Wax…er, War” when a large dinosaur crashes into the halfway house for huge guys. Our “hero” and the nun-wannabe run off and hop a freight, leaving the little kid and the fat guys to be eaten or something. We never find out, and no one ever mentions them again.
even more WTF, the Master was played by her father.
The Hitler Building.
Actually, “Future . . . Whatever” is one big WTF: most competent film makers would’ve been content to make a movie with dinos, OR kickboxing, OR a novice nun who used to be a hooker, OR a human alien escaping back to earth, OR a half-way house for huge guys, OR the adventures of the five-person LA police force in puffy hats: but they made a movie with ALL of these things (and more).
Tony Cardoza as Fidel Castro in Red Zone Cuba.
…..or was it Stuart Margolin?
(pls ignore – messed up quote)
My God! You just made me realize that Mitchell was a beta version of Donald Trump!
Pumaman help me, but this is one of the only moments in Mitchell (the movie, not the MST episode) I found funny — he’s not supposed to be a likable guy, and getting into a lazy argument with an annoying kid at least seems in character.
Something that I have been dumbfounded by in multiple MST movies are the out-of-nowhere shaving scenes. Final Justice and Agent For Harm both feature moments where an actor just starts shaving in the middle of a serious conversation. Was this a thing at some point? Were electric razors such a fascinating invention that directors just couldn’t resist focusing on them? Was this part of Norelco’s plan for world domination?
And the less said about Roxie shaving her dad the better.
In Season 11 Cry Wilderness is so full of them, but the incessant laughing has to be near the top. What’s so blasted funny about a raccoon destroying your home?
In Rifftrax, The Apple is also full of them, but there’s a moment when Aphie aggressively gropes his landlord that’s near the top. It comes out of nowhere, seems very out of character, and she doesn’t beat him to death over it despite being quite capable.
So many moments from Wild World of Batwoman, in its delusions of being 60’s Adam-West “campy”.
– The Chinese seance (funny once, but three or four times in succession?)
– The Monkees-esque chase around the table (“Maybe they’ll all turn into butter?”)
– The sudden Mole People crossover
– Babes coming running for the taste of hot soup
– “So, there’s a subplot about a horseshoe, now?”
Even though I’m not one of the cult-indoctrinated Mitchell bashers, you can just hear a Joe Don Baker character make a quote like “I went to Puerto Rico and met with the president of the Virgin Islands…” :D
Cry Wilderness is a strong contender, but as far as Netflix-season WTF? goes, Carnival Magic sets the bar.
And Gus can bend it.
The racially-offensive seance in “The Wild Wild [etc.] World of Batwoman”. Makes no damn sense every time I watch the episode, to the point where I occasionally forget about it and am caught off-guard when it happens again.
Fish Argument Theater in Gamera Vs. Zigra. I’m still not sure what the point of that particular subplot was. Also how lame the werewolves in Werewolf are. One even gets himself beat up by a random bystander.
The Fish Argument makes perfect sense when placed next to the idea that screaming Ahhhhhhh! Ahhh! Ahhhhh! will wake you from an alien induced coma.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
“I’d like to have an argument, please.” -M. Palin
Trumpy in ‘Pod People’. I realize it’s an ‘E.T.’ rip-off, but that’s the best you had? Also, EVERY character portrayal in ‘Girl in Gold Boots’. Michelle was the only regular portrayal, and even then, she came off as an idiot.
Semi WTF moment:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vssKdugQxig
the song that part sounded a lot like Jesus Loves Me (and Tom gets it from Joel when he sings it).
To me, a wtf moment is something that comes out of nowhere. Gamera vs barugon where she sucks the blood from his wound. However they way they filmed it it looks like she is doing something else. wtf was that? King Dinosaur whey they take a picture of the dinosaur, and out of nowhere she rips it apart saying no one is going to believe us. Wtf was that?
The horny old couple in The Incredible Melting Man is a baffling creative decision.
Re: Werewolf, why are there Russian characters at all? The actors who play Yuri and Natalie are from Mexico and the American South, respectively. Did Russia fund the dig?
THE BLOOD WATERS OF DR. Z;
Who uses a carnival wheel of fortune as a day planner?
He was going to conquer world with a spray bottle?
How did Rex, the African American scientist refrain from throwing acid on the cracker sheriff?
Rex showed no reaction to the racist insults and was quite friendly to the sheriff? (in 1972!)
So many more from this one.
Mueller will get to the bottom of this as well.
In “Girl’s Town”, when the poor obsessed girl makes it to a Nunnery, saying “I’m happy, I’m really happy!” Something creepy about it.
The Bill Clinton look-alike molesting the girl during the fight. Talk about art imitating life.
As a Godzilla fan, this moment in Godzilla vs Megalon has always baffled me:
So after Jinkawa rescues Goro and Roxanne… *ahem* Rokuro, they begin their elaborate plan to evict the Seatopian goon from their super modern house. They go into town (as it’s being destroyed around them), steal a model airplane, quickly learn how to fly it, and return to the house to lure the Seatopian goon outside. He sees them on the camera, rushes out, and BAM! He gets an airplane to the face. Our trio of heroes bravely rush in and beat the guy to a pulp. Mission successful!
A few scenes later, they suddenly need to leave, and attempt to move the goon out of the house. He kicks and struggles, so they leave him there.
THEY LEAVE HIM THERE.
After ALL THAT, they up and leave the guy, STILL CONCIOUS, in their house. Their elaborate plan, which involved theft, braving an evacuated city, and endangering their lives (remember, one of them is a child), and a plan that ACTUALLY WORKED… all for naught. They couldn’t have bonked him over the head and knocked him out again so they could drag him out?
Fortunately for our heroes, it all works out in the end. When they return to the house again later, the goon is gone. I guess he decided to leave on his own? Maybe he feared a second airplane to the head if he stuck around? In the uncut original Japanese version, we do see the goon fleeing the house, only to be graphically crushed and killed by a boulder thrown his way by the nearby monster skirmish. But even this extra scene, deleted from the Cinema Shares American cut so as not to psychologically scar the kiddies, doesn’t explain WHY he left the house. He had the run of the place, and the good guys were long gone. Maybe he wanted front row seats to the monster fight? If he had just stayed in his sweet, ill gotten bachelor pad, he would have avoided getting squished, Wicked Witch of the East-style.
Heroes AND villains making nonsensical decisions. Hairy guys in togas. Kaiju tail slides. I love this movie… :)
From Rifftrax Swamp of the Ravens: The lounge singer singing a duet with a blow up doll or mannequin about how in love he is with a dead robot he wants to kill.
The murder and necrophiliac rape at the beginning of The Beast of Yucca Flats that has no connection to anything else in the film stands out.
Some of the cinematography in “Castle of Fu Manchu”. Like the part that prompts Crow to say, “I can’t watch this. I mean I can’t see this.” What on earth was the director thinking when he put that scene together? OK, it’s OK to use a little film trying out something different. Inexcusable was leaving it in, rather than dropping it onto the cutting room floor and sweeping it out with the rest of the mistakes.
Eight minutes of in-air refueling in “Starfighters”. And then more. And then ending the film with plane after plane after plane taking off? One departure would have been sufficient.
That scene in Amazing Colossal Man when the “doctor” explains that the heart is made up of a single cell?
In Santa Claus, showing a puppet show for a extended period, for no apparent reason. Similarly, the titular people in Terror From the Year 5000 and The Projected Man going on killing sprees when it would easily be in their best interests to not go on killing sprees.
Actually, it makes a lot of sense when you consider how The Incredible Melting Man was originally conceived as a parody of horror movies rather than a straight horror film.
Delete your account.