Movie: (1989) In-name-only sequel to the previous movie. Three kingdoms have been overtaken by three evil lords and only Tyor, a teenage boy with magical powers, can restore peace to the land.
Opening: It’s raining and nobody can go out and play
Invention exchange: J&tB have GIF Notes; the Mads have Punt Bunnies
Segment 1: Dark One’s Renaissance Inn and Grille franchise video
Segment 2: Jonah explains the ’80s wizard comedy craze
Segment 3: Grandma Pearl and crew visit and Kinga’s getting married!
Closing: Jonah suggests good movies to counteract various aspects of a bad movie
Stinger: Tyor gets a popeye arm
(62 votes, average: 3.92 out of 5)
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• What’s funny (to me at least) is that this movie feels less cheap than the last one, despite being a sequel. But the story makes even less sense than last week’s movie. The riffing is solid, if not always hilarious. The host segments are hit and miss.
• Great to see Pearl, Brain Guy and Bobo again. I thought this appearance was more relaxed and funny than the last one.
• Grant Baciocco provided the voice of the punt bunny (uncredited).
• I had to look up “eggplant emoji.” I am terminally out of it.
• The segment in which Jonah explains the “’80s wizard comedy craze” seems like a long walk for a very little joke, as Johnny Carson once said.
• I’m guessing, based on Ardy’s mea culpa, that the brief shot in the beginning with people going underwater was longer and involved Carradine battling a sea monster.
• Callbacks: “Time for go to bed!” “The Chicken of Tomorrow.” Also a callback to an earlier season 11 ep: “Use that amulet to contact Big Foot.”
• The setup for the season finale continues, with Kinga dreaming up a wedding scheme.
• Of course, one notable star is Lana Clarkson, who in 2003 was killed by record producer Phil Spector.
• This movie re-uses footage from “Barbarian Queen” (with Lana Clarkson) and “The Warrior and the Sorceress,” (with David Carradine).
• Cast and crew roundup: Director Charles B. Griffith also wrote “The Undead,” “Gunslinger” and “It Conquered the World,” in which he also appeared. Mel Welles also is in “The Undead.” W.T. Zacha was wardrobe supervisor for “The Unearthly.” And we do not need to run through the Roger Corman litany again.
• How many Carradines does this make? Two at least…
• Fave riff: “I’d be more terrified if they both weren’t wearing relaxed-fit Dockers.” Honorable mention: “I’m forming a Stockholm Syndrome situation with David Carradine’s legs.”
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The Good News: This isn’t as bad an episode as last week.
The Bad News: It isn’t a whole lot better.
Last week’s episode was the nadir of the season (so far – sigh). Filmmakers who didn’t care what the heck they were making,
the train wreck was, unfortunately, not saved at all by the riffing which was mediocre at best. This week it appears that
either the same filmmakers continued with more of the exact same tripe, or perhaps they hired their cousins. The movie
is equally obnoxious, containing a phoned in performance by top billed star David Carradine (although he’s in less than
half of the film) that *might* have been done after he hung himself. (Too soon?).
Jonah and company somehow make it seem better, but not much. I think it was a HUGE mistake doing these two films back to
back, though — even if the riffing had been top notch it would have needed something exceptional to work. Even doing the two
“Master Ninja” movies they broke things up with something else in-between. Perhaps, because the way Netflix works, they felt
they didn’t need to worry about it, but I kind of doubt it or they wouldn’t be having their “married” storyline continuing.
In any case, 2 out of 10 is about all this can muster. The season is winding down not with a bang, but a whimper.
Okay, I feel a little slow for bringing this up this late in the season, but it struck me while re-watching the Deep 14 scene on this one.
You know how writers, directors, actors talk about (metaphorically) speaking to their audiences?
Well, the Deep 14 scenes are just that, with a meta-twist. They’re Joel metaphorically apologizing to the viewers for the missing scenes by literally apologizing for the missing scenes.
I watched this episode immediately after the previous one, and I didn’t like it as much… but since then, I’ve found that the second WOTLK actually stands up better to repeat viewings. I know the general consensus is that episodes are funnier when the movies take themselves seriously, which this one definitely doesn’t, but something about this one still makes me laugh a lot. Watching David Carradine swagger around and sneer at everybody is pretty entertaining (especially with his magically appearing/disappearing facial hair). His presence more than makes up for the Tyor/Tire kid, who gets my vote for Most Annoying Youth of Season 11.
The “rainy day in space” idea has been done before (I don’t recall the exact episode), but the GIF-Notes are a fun invention. I think “that’s a lot of eggplant emojis” might be the naughtiest joke of the season… I also liked Punt Bunnies, and the dawning horror on Max’s face as he realized their purpose.
The franchise video host segment bothered me, for some reason, and it took me a while to realize why: it seems weird that the Mads would just go along with Jonah and the bots’ little skit. At the risk of over-analyzing it… it seems like there’s no “reason” for Kinga and Max to play along. Usually the Mads are just observers (hah!) or are victims of the joke (Dr. Forrester’s frustration with the fast-food worker sketch comes to mind). Why are they suddenly helping them act out the sketch? Are there any other examples of this sort of host segment?
And while I’m asking weird questions, is Joel the one who says “movie in the hole”? It doesn’t really sound like his voice, and in this episode, when he delivers the intro to the movie first, that seems really obvious.
I’m probably giving the movie too much credit, but Tire’s line about “I’ve never seen an old man before” seems like a nod to the fact that life in the “lost kingdom” is harsh, and life expectancy is very short. Again, I’m probably reading waaaay too much into the line, but I thought that was interesting.
I love how Tire’s mom gets over her son’s departure in about two seconds. [anguished] “It’s the day I’ve always feared… [conversational] in some ways, it’s a relief.”
This episode has the second (I think) occurrence of Jonah making a “deneneneneh” sound effect as something flies through the air (during the moment used for the stinger) and I don’t know why that’s so funny to me, but I can’t stop laughing at it…
Favorite riffs:
“Why can’t we make something useful, like…” “A fast-foward button?”
That cow must have hit the wall at 100 miles an hour…
“Shut up and just act interested in things!” “Is he talking directly to us?”
That’s phrasing odd!
“Skooered?” and the mush-mouthed “I’ll skooeralloou!”
“SORRY!” “I can’t even begin to guess who said that…”
He chose poorly…
Like last week, another case of lousy movie, great episode.
A few thoughts:
– I liked the Invention Exchange. I could’ve used the GIF Notes when I was in school, back before GIFs existed. And, re: the Bunnies, I can just see Joel yelling, “That is the sickest thing you’ve ever done!”
– When you first saw our young “hero”, did anyone else immediate shout, “Adric!”
– I notice they managed to avoid referring to David Carradine’s sad fate. I remember during CT shows when Josh would toss in a joke about it once in a while.
– And, in the original show, the Mads did play along with the SOL crew occasionally. For example, being an enthusiastic audience during Santa Claws’ performance of “Whispering Christmas Warrior”.
Double wow.
This movie defies explanation. A sequel in name only? Yep. A movie that somehow makes its predecessor look like a shining example of cinematic fantasy storytelling? Uh-huh. And yet, it is so much more than that. It’s got a plot that can barely be referred to as such, one of the most eminently dislikable characters in MST3K history, WAY too much of David Caradine’s gams, and… well, it’s bad, is what I’m saying.
And yet again, the result is an hysterical episode. While the first Wizards episode does it for me a bit more than this one, it’s still a fun time and I loved it from beginning to end. Plus, the host segments are a hoot, and begins a significant plot thread that will see the season to its conclusion…
Some thoughts:
-The rainy day opening really reminds me of the beginning of Teenage Caveman. I also love how matter of fact-ly Kinga mentions that it’s raining on the moon too.
-The emoji cliff note books is an ingenious invention. I’m sure it’ll happen one day, even if only as a series of joke books.
-David Caradine fighting a tentacled monster?! Why cut… *ahem*, spill that of all scenes?!?!
-Callbacks: “Time for go to bed.” (The Unearthly); “Samurai Manos?” (Is this somehow Season 11’s only Manos reference?); “Now he can use the amulet to contact Bigfoot!” (Cry Wilderness); “Sponsors of the Chicken of Tomorrow!”
-Classic MST3K Bits: “Maybe not so close to my area next time?”; a nice Minnesota accented conversation
-Star Wars References (and there are a lot in this episode): Callback to Gulfax being a Chewbaca ripoff; “This is the wrong guy to give Force lightening to, I’ll tell you that for free.”; “Alright, take him to Jabba.”; “Tusken Raiders!”; “All you had to tell me is it was like “Star Wars”…”; “The Jawa body count in this movie is insane.”; “They’re just throwing in bits from Star Wars and seeing how it all works out!”
-Hey, this movie has a “The Dark One” too! But no callback. Huh.
-Dear God, what the ding dong heck is David Carradine doing in this movie? I suppose he had to pay his bills somehow. Interesting that the original series featured two films with John Carradine, and the next generation of the show features the next generation of Carradine! Just an observation.
-Also, David is dressed eerily close to the Master from Manos for the entire movie, and that similarity gives us our first (only?) Manos reference this season. I can only assume this was intentional restraint, for some reason.
-Tyre is uncomfortably horny. Someone calls him “Pervy Potter” at one point, and that’s accurate. Wow.
-Segment 1 is a hoot. The stupid infomercial music alone is hysterical, and it makes the entire segment work.
-As the freed “hero” guy flirts with the blond girls and Tyre watches dumbfounded, someone (I think it’s Baron) can be heard loosing it. There’s no riff, it’s just him laughing. It’s a wonderful moment of a riffer honestly reacting to a movie.
-During Max’s second interstitial, he mentions that the Skeleton Crew band is put into suspended animation between shows, but they’ve elected not to show us this “because it’s horrible”. I love the faux world building going on this season.
-At the exact moment I wished I could jump into the movie and slap Tyre across his whiny face, Tom made almost that exact riff. Thanks Tom!
-I wonder if Segment 2 was pro-Foxworthy or the other way around?
-When Jonah and Crow play fetch, the first Crow passes a second Crow than then sits down and continues to riff. What is up with these multiple robots?
-Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy return for another hysterical cameo in Segment 3. It really is wonderful seeing these three together again. Also, it’s nice to get a call out to Dr. Forester’s transformation into a star baby. It’s an auspicious segment, too, as it ends with Kinga swearing to marry Jonah as a ratings stunt. My oh my…
-Wow, that final David Carradine fight scene. It looked like a bunch of kids whacking each other with foam Nerf swords, but in slow motion. The Dark One, indeed…
-Wow, 29 years of MST3K. That’s nuts. Wasn’t it just the 20th anniversary like a year ago? How time flies.
-Did anyone else reflexively say “squeak” when they saw the bad guy’s bat hat?
-The final segment is a classic MST3K concept, and watching Jonah slowly start to grow ill is hysterical. The rapid delivery reminded me of Servo’s inbuilt knowledge of the appropriate pet for TV detectives.
-Mary Jo wrote for this episode!
-End Credits Music: United Servo Academy Men’s Chorus Hymn; Sidehackin’; Clown in the Sky
-Favorite Riff: “Heh heh, you ever see “Blade Runner?””
-Honorable Mentions: “Here we will found a new nation… because I’m not moving.”; “Looker at of bottoms…”; and “A forest dog!”
Oh, and Sampo, the first Skeleton Crew song is the tail end of the United Servo Academy Men’s Chorus Hymn.
Fast-forwarding through the non-movie segments make these so much better!
The new cast is so boring and unfunny.
:o Shocked, I was, at this.
I like this episode. I laughed. A lot. And it gets four big thumbs up from my boys. Crazy, disjointed, just plain bad. As someone pointed out, it is obviously not taking itself seriously, so it’s not really trying to be a good movie, but even so, it is so bad even at being a bad movie that it’s good. And I mean that in a good way. ;)
Count my vote for Tyor as being in the top 3 of most annoying MST3K kids.
On another tack, though, count my vote for Lana Clarkson (Amathea) being perhaps 2nd most lovely MST3K lady ever (Allison Hayes takes top honors for me). If you don’t know Ms. Clarkson’s dramatic and tragic story you should look it up.
I thought of “Idiot Control Now” from Pod People. “Good? He’s the best!”
Again, to disagree with Our Grand Poobah Sampo, I didn’t enjoy this episode as much as he did, and I think that’s mostly because this movie is way less interesting and fun than the first one (and the riffs didn’t hit the same way with me than it did with the first one – yes, sometimes I don’t think the riffs in an episode are particularly strong, an opinion not only held by me for Season 11 episodes). Where the first movie was bright and goofy and always held my attention, the second movie is drab and, uh, somewhat less goofy, which means I’d drift a bit more than I’d like. I also agree with what an annoying little dink Tyor is, which makes the movie less fun, and the wizard here is a much less interesting protagonist than even ol’ Bo Svenson is. That said, it’s an enjoyable enough episode, the ending is pretty funny, and I do enjoy every time David Carradine shows up and delivers lines with “I’m getting paid in certified funds, right?” underlining every delivery.
Always fun to see what gets the first post in these threads – sunniness or gloom.
Yes, it’s Joel as the character “Ardy.” I wonder if that name is meant as “RD,” as in “Research & Development.” ???
At any rate, this movie, hoo wee. Very tough for me to get through, it was so bad. Took me three sittings. Whereas the first one had kind of an earnest charm, this sequel is one of those (like Sharknado 2) that knows it’s crap so is all, “Ha ha, look at us; we’re so cute.” I could have cheerfully killed annoying Tyor and annoying old guy — worst mentor EVER — myself. Odd that David Carradine and Lana Clarkson both met such tragic ends IRL. Favorite riff was the one about relaxed-fit Dockers.
The story arc really started going downhill for me here. Kinga is just too perky and cute to come across as very evil, although I like Felicia Day in other things. And getting married? Oh, by all means, let’s push that stereotype of women/girls being obsessed with weddings. >:-(
Hard disagree.
I have to re-watch this one. It was painful the first time but I enjoyed all the host segments (minus the wedding stuff). But the movie was rough to get through, and I don’t remember any of the funny riffs people are quoting so I know I need to watch it again and pay better attention.
I found things to like about the next two episodes, so re-watching them will be fun, it’s just the last episode I’m dreading. I honestly feel it was the worst of the season, but we’ll see how I feel after I’ve completed a full 2nd watch.
Pretty much sums up my feelings on this one. I forgot about the wedding arc which I also didn’t care for at all. Which is too bad since I liked most of the host segments besides those.
So get this out of the way early – Lana Clarkson and David Carradine both died in rather disturbing circumstances.
But their appearances in this movie are also kind of odd. Like last week’s episode, the “movie” is about 40% recycled from earlier New World productions. In this one, though, they actually went to the trouble of re-employing the stars from the original films to shoot new material and make a half-assed attempt at continuity. (For reference, Clarkson’s Amathea is from Barbarian Queen, and the Dark One came from The Warrior And The Sorceress. Both movies came out of the same Argentinian grind house that gave us the Deathstalker franchise).
This movie was sort of a last hurrah for some Corman regulars. It was the last movie written or directed by Charles B. Griffith, who wrote movies like The Undead and Gunslinger. And it was one of the last roles for Mel Welles and the last time he worked with Corman; he was Smolkin in The Undead and played Mr. Mushnick in the original Little Shop of Horrors. It was also the last time Corman and Sid Haig worked together.
This was the final film of actor Henry Brandon in a career that went back to the early 1930s. He was in Babes in Toyland with Laurel and Hardy.
The annoying kid is played by Robert Jayne/Bobby Jacoby, who’s probably best known for his role in Tremors, which came out a year after this. He’s from a family of actors, though he’s really not related to Jason Hervey from The Wonder Years.
They pronounce “gif” correctly with a DJ- sound.
Between this episode and the next, there’s a lot of tragedy for actors and filmmakers in these films. I feel like they did a nice job of sidestepping the issue. Unlike the brief Rock Hudson mention in Avalanche, it felt like the issues didn’t need to be mentioned at all here. Which is smart.
In addition to being a sequel to Wizards of the Lost Kingdom (though it has no real connection), WOTLK2 uses footage from Barbarian Queen, with Lana Clarkson playing the same character and The Warrior and the Sorceress, which starred David Carradine. So is it actually a sequel to three movies?
A quote on the film from Wizards of the Lost Kingdom writer Ed Naha:
“Three years later I’m at a wedding reception for a friend who still works for Roger. And Roger’s there. So we’re chatting and kidding around, and I said, `Ah, man, remember that “Wizards of the Lost Kingdom” movie?’ And he said, `Oh, y’know, that did very well in video. We filmed a sequel!’”
Births/deaths
Director Charles B. Griffith, born Sept. 23, 1930, died Sept. 28, 2007
Actor David Carradine, born Dec. 8, 1936, died June 3, 2009
Actor Lana Clarkson, born April 5, 1962, died Feb. 3, 2003
Actor Blake Banner, born Feb. 14, 1959
Actor Henry Brandon, born June 8, 1912, died Feb. 15, 1990
Actor Sid Haig, born July 14, 1939
Actor Diana Barton, born Nov. 27, 1966
Actor W.T. Zacha, born Dec. 28, 1929
Actor Dale Swann, born Jan. 21, 1948, died April 9, 2009
Actor Joseph V. Perry, born Feb. 13, 1931, died Feb. 23, 2000
Director Charles B. Griffith also wrote The Undead, Gunslinger and It Conquered the World, and he also acted in ICTW.
Actor Mel Welles also acted in The Undead
Actor W.T. Zacha was wardrobe supervisor for The Unearthly
Producer Roger Corman has been involved with pretty much every MST3K episode in some role.
Other dates
Dec. 26, 2004: David Carradine married Annie Carradine
Feb. 20, 1998, David Carradine married actress Marina Anderson
Dec. 12, 2001, David Carradine divorced actress Marina Anderson
Dec. 4, 1988, David Carradine married actress Gail Jensen
Jan. 26, 1997, David Carradine divorced actress Gail Jensen
Feb. 2, 1977, David Carradine married Linda Gilbert
Oct. 4, 1983, David Carradine divorced Linda Gilbert
Dec. 29, 1960, David Carradine married Donna Lee Becht
Dec. 21, 1967, David Carradine divorced Donna Lee Becht
April 1, 1997, David Carradine given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
Sept. 27, 2004, David Carradine indicted for the murder of Lana Clarkson
April 13, 2009, Phil Spector convicted of second-degree murder for the shooting death of Lana Clarkson.
Nov. 2, 2007, Sid Haig married Susan L. Oberg
Sept. 19, 1998, actor Victoria Morsell married writer David Hemingson
I wanted to say this in the comments for Cry Wilderness all those weeks ago, but in that comments section I was slapped in the face with major spoilers about the finale! So I didn’t end up commenting on that episode, but if I had, I would have said that I, for one, LOVE the Sci-Fi era mads. I think that Pearl and Bobo and Brain Guy are hilarious. They form the most perfect textbook Freudian Trio dynamic ever and they’re a big reason why the Sci-Fi seasons are my personal favorites. I’m happy to see them back.
Something I liked: After Max’s repeated insistence that he be called TV’s Son of TV’s Frank, and Kinga’s repeated insistence that he will never be called TV’s Son of TV’s Frank, I thought it was, dare I say it, sweet when Bobo greeted him with “Hello, TV’s Son of TV’s Frank!” I like the genuine camaraderie between them, and how Kinga seems to be almost jealous of it, because Max has at least one friend and she has none.
Everything about that segment was delightful to me– Bobo’s cheerful refusal to promise not to rip Max’s face off, Pearl and Brain Guy’s dorky fist bump, Brain Guy breaking the fourth wall, and Pearl’s “I appreciate the depravity of your motives, but…” all made me laugh out loud. I just love these three and their new awkward presence in Kinga’s life. I haven’t actually seen the finale yet, so I don’t know how this wedding plot all plays out, but I like when MST3k employs stories so I’m optimistic.
But I guess there was more to this episode than Segment 3. I didn’t love this one the first time I watched it, but I found myself laughing a lot when I watched it again a couple days ago. I had some friends who were further ahead in watching than I was, and when I told them I’d seen WotLK1, they all assured me that the second one was much much worse, and I didn’t believe them, because how could any film possibly be worse than that? But I was proven very VERY wrong, because WotLK2 is just as painful as WotLK1 was goofy. The “hero” is utterly disgusting and no one is likeable. Makes for a good choice for a MSTed movie, though!
Favorite lines:
(I’ve never seen a old man before!) “It’s so beautiful!”
-Hampton’s deliveries can make average lines completely hysterical.
“He has an actual thinking cap!”
“He tripped over the edit!”
“Look, it’s the cast of the all-dad production of Julius Caesar.”
Max: “The Skeleton Crew is the house band for MST3k, and are kept in suspended animation between show. [chuckles] We’ve chosen not to show you that because it’s horrible! You’re watching MST3k, Moon 13, the moon!”
(Tyor flailing whenever he moves) “Kid, can you please move like a human being for once?”
“Invisible cat!” “Mew!”
“Lattice begin the attack!” “NO!”
“Why is he dressed like a Skeksi?” “He’s bringing Skeksi back!”
“Caedmon really puts the ‘can’t’ in ‘incantation.'”
“That lion-dog-apotamus just loves life, you know?”
Strong riffing and host segments all around. The Wizards of the Lost Kingdom dualogy is a winner for me.
Not sure about this one…typo?
Yes, typo. It was Phil Spector who was indicted, convicted, and still in prison last I checked.
Regarding segment 2: My 9 year old thought it was hilarious. She’s never really been exposed to the whole “You might be a redneck” trope, so she completely missed the ironic tone and just bought the jokes on their own merit. It worked for her, and reminded me there really was a time when Jeff Foxworthy’s routine was fresh and funny. Seems so long ago now…
Nothing really against Jeff, by the way… The joke died from copy cats and over-exposure. I tend to avoid Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band for the same reason.
Small nitpick, but I don’t like Kevin Murphy’s new Bobo makeup, half of the fun of the old mask was the cheezy mouth lines. The new mask is weird looking without it. All swelled up like he’s having an allergic reaction to something he ate.
And not like it really bothers me that much, but “evil person forcing nice person to marry them” is an old trope.
OMG (Checks pulse, look in mirror at teeth) I’m becoming a …Were-EricJ!!!!
Sorry dude, don’t take it personal, couldn’t resist.
Oops. I guess it’s canon now.
“…THANK you!”
I’ll say it too: I was just waiting for the riff of
– “We must find the Dark One”
“So we can awww be dewwwwmed…”
(Yes, correct-quotes be darned, it’s all about the cult-callback.) ;)
Like the Master-robe joke, the new series takes one obvious riff that’s obvious to everyone, gives it one symbolic riff so that everyone doesn’t write in asking about it, and ignores it for the rest of the episode. Odd that they didn’t do that with the Valeria riff, though.
Just off the topic, has anyone found themselves making mushy Robot Holocaust riffs while watching the trailers for loopy over-budgeted French sci-fi movies lately?
And on the subject of obvious riffs, I can’t be the only one who found themselves thinking:
(Blood from a turnip)
“Speak the words, ‘Veni sangre di’…”
o/`”Look at me, I’m Sangre Di…”
Yes, David Carradine had a career in low-budget fantasy films where he could play the laconic, laid-back ex-warrior where he was too grizzled and cynical to actually ACT, and could just show up on the set to swing some swords. I had to look up IMDb to see whether he was supposed to be playing his same character from Warrior&Sorceress, but thought no, there would have been too much difference over seven years.
Recycling the Barbarian Queen footage sounds likely, though.
Like Mike says, it’s better and worse than Wizards1. Better in that, unlike last week’s backyard circus, we at least have the experienced screenwriter of “The Undead” and “Death Race 2000” to give it some actual structure, and some earnest attempt at “tongue in cheek”, worse in that intentional low-budget tongue-in-cheek can be painful if it’s done on the level of the Deathstalker movies.
As for the wedding plot, think our current Thursday discussions of S8 remind us just how much the show did NOT need a running plot arc, and spending huge amounts of segment time analyzing our characters’ complex lives. You should really just, um……..go back and riff the movie?
I can’t remember, did we get a David Bowie/Labyrinth ref in another movie, and Jn&tB have now officially reffed EVERYTHING the Muppets ever did, except for Emmet Otter’s Jug Band and those Disney movies?
Yep, now we have to change history so it’s true. To the time machine!
Count me among those who greatly prefer this one to Wizards 1. I actually loved this episode and the first Wizards movie is only OK for me.
Guarantee it. Shout factory released a 2 disc set of Corman Sword/Sorcery films. Barbarian Queen and Warrior& the Sorcress are double billed on disc 2 (disc 1 has the first 2 Deathstalker films). The scene where Carradine scares the guards off from the well is the obvious cut.
And, yeah, I own the set… What can I say…
I’ve been waiting to tear into this one. First of all, David Carradine, why did you do this movie! You made it very apparent you did not want to be here, you sneered and snarked and generally made a pompous ass out of yourself the entire time, you put about as much effort into your “fight” scenes as The Creeping Terror put into sound recording. Why? WHY?? I know you can no longer answer, but still, you were an actor – your job was to look like you care. You’re like that one guy at work who was supposed to complete his part in the project, but he did a less than half-ass job and dragged the rest of you down with him.
There, I got that out of my system. Actually, most of the actors in this movie seemed to not be aware that they were supposed to be acting, or that the camera was actually on and that this was not a run-through prior to filming. The only actor that seemed to care was Mel Welles, dear Digger Smolkin, bless his heart. Also, this was no sequel – they should have named the movie Wizards of The Other Lost Kingdom.
So I take it Carradine purposely always asked that his character be a overworked seasoned grizzled mentor so he has an excuse to sit around and fart and then wobble in? :P
(Minor spoiler)
Dunno – I guess the Growler character could count as a reference to the old dog food commercials that Henson did..
I think they’ve missed the SNL sketches too (but the Mighty Pavaag does show up in MST Classic).
…But it simply isn’t done! You can’t rewrite history, not one line!
Except that the commercial character didn’t play lounge piano like Rowlf did in The Muppet Movie.
(Although TMM was already represented by Bigfoot’s “Hey, guys, I wanna go to Hollywood too!” riffs from Cry Wilderness.)
As for more “Pop culture lore” in S12 besides just one fondly-remembered 70’s-TV icon, we can certainly hope that something better comes along.
Yeah, I could have done without that plot bit. Or any particular plot, really; IMO it tends to feel forced and constraining.
Praises on this episode first:
A very bad movie that the writers do an excellent job riffing. I was laughing out loud constantly through the whole movie. 8 out of 10 stars for the riffing (which is the meat and potatoes of the enterprise; “potatoes are what we eat”, baby!) I liked both inventions and the host segments not related to the cameo visit and marriage subplot.
A few riffs or references I would have liked to hear:
“And as always it was the people who suffered…” Riff: And we haven’t even gotten through one year of Trump’s presidency!
The first wizard Tyor “defeats” resembled that character from LOTR: Return of the King, played by John Law, I believe, the guy who is not really the king of Minas Tirith, but the “keeper of the throne” or something. Anyway, I thought so…
Why didn’t anyone notice that some of the guards of Eeyore or Eedok or e.e. cummings or whatever stole their helmets from some the Sumerian soldiers in “The Mole People”?
Small stuff, just some things I noted.
I did not like the visit from Pearl, Bobo and Brain Guy. The makeup is terrible and they were mostly unfunny. Which is disappointing to me, because I agree with whoever said (including Sampo in his review of “The She-Creature” this past Thursday), that in their Sci-Fi heyday they formed a great triple foil to Mike and the Bots (although, unlike VikingWoman, I don’t find them Freudian, but more of a Three Stooges kind of vibe. Not criticizing, that’s just my perception…)
And I agree with everyone that the whole Kinga marrying Jonah to boost ratings thing is…Yaaaawn! Knocks my host segments ratings way down to 4 stars out of 10.
Finally, while I don’t agree this is MST3K-lite, I would venture to say it is Mads-lite.
I loved this episode. It may be my favorite of the entire season. After last week, you think nothing can top that movie, then this “sequel”comes along! Good to have another Charles B. Griffith movie featured (you know, the guy who wrote and shot Little Shop of Horrors in TWO DAYS!), and it’s great to have Sid Haig become part of the MST3K family. Movies like this are what the show was made for.
As an example, here’s this little story. One of my friends really doesn’t care for MST3K. I’ve tried repeatedly throughout the years with episodes from different eras, and nothing really took. But when I showed him this one, I’ve rarely heard him laugh so loud at anything, and when the episode ended, he was like, it’s over already? That seemed like 45 minutes!
Wizards of the Lost Kingdom 2: Electric Boogaloo passes the Bechdel Test. Two of the damsel prisoners wonder what’s causing the ruckus they hear.
Several years ago, I had read this column concerning a project for a Cliff Note type resource for Shakespeare made to be accessed through cell phones. As a result, they were written in texting shorthand. The columnist in question was not favorably disposed, and the general tone was, “Dear Gawd, have we’ve really sunk this low?!?” I never followed to see how well it did, though it’s probably obsolete with the current generation of phones. I suppose GIF notes are really the next step.
Speaking of which, I’m only familiar with the basic emojis. So what do eggplants have to do with Lady Chatterley’s Lover (unless they’re meant to be phallic)?
I for one would love to see a Dark One’s Renaissance Inn and Grille franchise set up business in my town.
Pantsless David Carradine is a sight I could have happily never witnessed. Makes me doubly glad that he wasn’t stripped down like the others during the massage scene in Death Race 2000 (of those who did, Sylvester Stallone was the only one too ashamed to let anyone see his hinder).
Perhaps you’re thinking of the snow day at the end of Santa Claus.
Truthfully, I believe most of the hate directed at Adric is unwarranted. The only time I think he was truly intolerable was in Four to Doomsday (though certain actions he committed in State of Decay were highly dubious).
I think that’s kind of the point. Plus it’s a cynical exploitation on Kinga’s part of the unsuited marriage season finale concept. Here’s hoping that during the vows, Jonah says, “I do, Gypsy.”
And if we’re lucky, they could reference those Wilkins Coffee commercials with proto-Kermit (for those who are curious, said commercials can be found on YouTube).
And there you have it — proof positive this isn’t MST3K. I mean, if you have someone who doesn’t like MST3K at all and likes this, then it’s pretty clear this isn’t anything at all like it.
And that’s fine — I keep saying (and keep getting jumped for it) that while it’s great that this amuses so many folks, it isn’t even close to any of the classic series (or even the immediately offshoots, like Film Crew, RT and Cinema Titanic). This is truly a new riffing for the new generation, and if you can enjoy both it really doesn’t mean much other than you have a wider ability to like things than have little resemblance to each other For example, there are those with very eclectic tastes who enjoy both heavy metal music and classical. Doesn’t mean that heavy metal is like classical in any way shape or form, other than it’s musical notes being played. This “version” of MST3K only resembles the original superficially and for me and DW that isn’t enough.
That’s a good example! But Max and Kinga playing along still seem weird to me. Maybe I’m just not as familiar with their characters.
I found it! It was Teenage Caveman. From the ACEG: “Joel, Crow and Servo are bored out of their gourds, waiting out a rainy day on the SOL. And they can’t find their Mousetrap game.”
Bingo!
True, but the Sci-FI years had much smarter story lines taken from tropes. It just seems phoned in. :P
And another plug for anyone to go out and rent “A Bucket of Blood” if you haven’t already (which you should be able to any danged where on streaming, it’s public domain but hasn’t been done by RT yet)–I speak to you of art, for there is nothing else to talk about…
Most rent “Creature From the Haunted Sea” for the goofy-looking Corman-budget monster, and stay for the dialogue that sounds like Leslie Nielsen should be delivering it in one of the Naked Gun movies.
We’re not jumping on you for saying it, Mike, we’re jumping on you for masturbatorily refusing to notice anyone ELSE is saying it either. (A problem I rarely get to enjoy.)
Y’know, the problem with nailing yourself up on a cross is, you can never quite just get that last hand done–Take it from someone with experience whom you’re rapidly making look bad, and is trying to mutter “Ix-nay on the Oss-cray…”
New rule: Any one who makes the B-word joke about a sequel must be forced to actually watch the Golan/Globus movie.
Which isn’t really punishment, as it isn’t a bad movie, it just tried to be “big” and didn’t have the street credit of the first one with Kelly, Ozone & Turbo.
It’s following in Joel’s footsteps of behavior modification for flashlight/NBC Mystery Movie jokes.
I’m sure this summer’s Emoji Movie will explain that in rich comic detail. Not that I’ll be there to see it, though, so somebody fill me in too.
(I’m just not one of those kids with the Facebook and the texting and the Instagrams and the hey-hey-hey…)
With both Felicia and Mary Jo writing, I think it’s supposed to be “women’s humor” of Kinga getting to be mean, nasty and despicable, and STILL whine about why she just can’t get a lasting committed relationship sorted out before she’s thirty. And the two comic premises together are supposed to be satirical, y’see.
Just because you don’t like it doesn’t make it not MST3K.
I have a strong dislike for Space Mutiny, because to me, it feels nothing like any other episode of the series. But it is part of the show, whether I like it or not.
Just when I think I’ve heard all you can dish. Wow dude.
Anyway, I can see what you guys are trying to say (almost), I just am starting to worry there taking the mads and toning them down too much and making them into Jim Henson’s Evil Babies. And Kinga’s “Gramma don’t love me and I can’t find a man” thing is just not working for me.
Suppose I just clarify the last comment, I just find the Kinga thing dumbing her down and kind of a sexist stereotype. I’m not trying to play armchair TV writer.
Ok no more spam. :P
Yes that most certainly is, using Vegas Video I cleaned all those vocal filters off Ardy and you can hear him plain as day. ;)
“Wow, that’s a lot of eggplant emojis.”
What were they reading, 50 Shades of Gray?
This episode knocked me out. I thought wizards 1 was a good episode but not great. Wizards 2 is a 4 star classic. I don’t mind that they come right after each other since they have nothing in common with each other. I’ve only watched this one once but it was a big hit I’m my house. The scifi mads cameo was much better this time.
Dear wizard please teach me how to run. Lol.
David carradine’s role is the thing that put the episode into greatness. What a complete joke of a film.
I like the wedding storyline with Kinga. There is no issue with hyper riffing in this episode.. They are relaxed, confident, natural, and hilarious.
Lol. This is bs.
I don’t like the KTMA or many season 1 episodes. They lack what I like about the show.. I don’t go around telling fans of those episodes that it’s not MST3K.
The mads were often problematic in all the eras of the show. Dr. Forrester was too over the top in his looks and mannerisms and once frank left became unbearable to me. Pearl was annoying when she first came on but scifi era Pearl is my fav mad. Scifi era had the terrible Rome plot line that brings down Space Mutiny and I don’t like Bobo at all.
Kinga and max are the best combination IMO but the shooting of their scenes was stiff (that damn locked camera position). When Felicia and Patton spend more time with these characters I think they will be even better.
Honestly though, I think that could be said ever since Frank left. Trace and Frank had great comedic chemistry that made the segments funny, no matter what they did.
I should say my Adric reference referred to how our young “hero” appeared. Adric was never as annoying and useless as this bozo was.
Another instance of the Mads playing along with the SOL crew was their participation in Crow & Servo’s “wedding”.
And you can’t re-write history…unless you’re the David Tennant Doctor. Then you can trash the whole thing if you want.