Of course, Ed Wood is the most famous bad director, but I don’t really think he’s anywhere close to the worst. You could make an argument for Coleman Francis or Ray Dennis Steckler or Ted Mikels, and it would be hard for me to argue.
But for me, when it comes to sheer incompetence and total failure of vision, one name stands out: Hal Warren. Nothing went right, and just about everything that went wrong — and that was pretty much everything — can be traced back to him. He’s my choice/
What’s yours?
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Hal Warren wasn’t a director. He was a fertilizer salesman who happened to make a film.
As for an actual “professional” director, I’m going with Coleman Francis.
Hal Warren…a perfect example of why fertilizer salesmen shouldn’t make movies. I suppose if I tried making a movie, it would end up like Manos: bad acting, no continuity, dubbed voices…you name it.
Hal Warren’s ham-handed attempt at filmmaking would make Coleman Francis’ “Red Zone Cuba” look like “Citizen Kane.”
Coleman Francis is definitely up there. Larry Buchanan, who helmed the disgusting, cringe-inducing “Attack of the Eye Creatures” needs a mention.
Hey, for a fertilizer salesman from Texas, I think Hal Warren did a pretty good job of representing the vision and ethos of all fertilizer salesmen from Texas! And, yeah the movie is quite possibly the most inept thing on film, but it was made on a bet by a total amateur whose reach far exceeded his grasp. At least the poor guy tried and never made another movie again, thankfully.
Rick Sloane gets my vote. He clearly had enough talent to film his sick and twisted version of humanity well enough so we could see and hear everything, damn him. But Hobgoblins is just so bottomlessly stupid and horrible and soul-crushing, he deserves the title of Worst Director and a sharp slap across the face. And not only has he gone on to make more movies, but the filthy bastard went on to make a sequel after MST3K lampooned the original! And, AND! He stole the boys’ Hobgoblins song for his stupid trailer! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HI8omyZbfeE) DAMN YOU, RICK SLOANE! DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL! :evil:
Yeah, Hal Warren should be right up there, as should Ed Wood for Bride of the Monster (beautifully inept!).
I’ll also mention Jerry Warren for Wild Wild World of Batwoman, and second the nod to Attack of the the Eye Creatures’s Buchanan.
My choice, though, would be Koji Ota for Invasion of the Neptune Men. I know that a lot might have been lost in translation. However, when there are attempts at pans following different actors in motion, and you can’t even get them in the shot, and there’s endless shots of grey buildings and children running, and the same scenes are shown over and over, with plenty of stock footage, well, that’s a winning combination.
I would have to go with Ray Dennis Steckler. Mixed-Up Zombies had the barest threads of a story, and then, as Mike points out, he just points a camera at an open stage for minutes at a time. Pathetic.
From time to time I would read a mention of this movie, but it always to point out how long and weird the title is. No one ever had anything to say about the actual movie itself. Now I know why. It instantly erases all memories of watching it as soon as it’s done. And it gets your Schick out of shape.
whoever the heck directed TISCWDTSLABMUZ
thats not even a movie
some kids took drugs and went to a carnival and a guy with CAMERA HAPPENED to film it
but hal warren is the top,tied with coleman francis
Edc wood wasnt a bad director he wasjust creepy
My vote would go to Coleman Francis. He more than likely believed he was a good director.
I agree that Hal Warren does not count because he wasn’t a professional. There must be a lot of bad and incoherent movies out there made by amateur “directors.”
As for Ed Wood, he was a genius that wasn’t given his due. Space aliens using the dead to take over earth-genius!
While the easy choice here would be Hal Warren, for not only making “Manos” but in fact wanting to do a sequel(!) for it, I don’t think it is quite fair simply because film director was not his career. As previously stated, he was a fertilizer salesman first; the directing came from a supposed bet.
So my vote goes to Coleman Francis. Having directed three movies, at least there’s a small track record of his prowess (or lack thereof). Empty plots, horrible actors, continuity issues, laughably confusing dialogues, and all with the sweaty hand of Tony Cardoza at the producing helm. I get the feeling that the relationship between Francis and Cardoza could be summed up in that scene in “Red Zone Cuba”, where Griffin (Coleman)beats the snot out of Landis (Tony) for the valuable ring Landis wears. Cardoza was probably Coleman Francis’ bitch!
Coleman Francis and Hal Warren were terrifyingly bad. That’s not in doubt.
However, I find myself going back to Don Henderson, who directed three films in his career: The Babysitter, Weekend with the Babysitter, and The Touch of Satan.
The director coaxed wooden performances out of his cast, he had several poorly lined shots, and his “vision” was lost amongst long pauses and swollen peanut farmers.
And then there’s Anthony Doublin, an effects specialist (mostly in miniatures) who directed the indecipherable mess that is Future War. To totally different movies, but two directors deserving of the “Worst Director” mantle.
Peter Hyams.
The easy answer would be Ed Woods, but I think he just suffered from lack of budget. My pick pick is…….COLE-MAN. His work alway leaves that burp/vomit taste in your mouth.
I just want to throw it out there that while not the absolute worst, Ed Wood was still a very, very, very bad director. And don’t give me any of that “he put his heart in his films” crap – shot compositions, editing, pacing, dialogue, cinematography were all horrible.
Rick Sloane, director of Hobgoblins. He, unlike Warren and Francis, clearly had a budget and decent film equipment and a crew. I doubt there’s very many other directors who could so little with so much.
It’s so hard to choose the worst of so many terrible directors. Here’s some favorites who might be overlooked:
Vic Savage, director of The Creeping Terror: Incompetence incarnate.
Will Zens, director of The Starfighters: Askews plot for slice-of-boring-life.
Sam Newfield, director of Lost Continent, Radar Secret Service, and I Accuse My Parents: The only director brave enough to give you thirty straight minutes of grown men climbing fake mountains.
But, really, in the end…nobody was worse than Coleman. His trilogy of filmatic terror is a shining example of how NOT to direct films.
I hFrancis,Warren,and Steckler do indeed seem to make up an Unholy Trinity of Direction, but I wish to propose the wonder team of Bill Rebane and H.G. Lewis for Monster A-Go-Go. Rebane started filming that turd, and Lewis decided to polish it, resulting in a poopy handkerchief.
Let it be duly noted that the pantheon of Mysted bad directors is so rich that so far no one has brought up Roger Corman.
Coleman Francis, because he had an identifiably wretched style (and he–astonishingly–made more than one film).
It does, however, make sense to me that Ed Wood should be considered the Worst Director of All Time, simply because he was a known (and also of course a notorious) figure. I watched Plan 9 many times as a child, whereas I had never heard of Coleman Francis until I watched MST3K. (I can’t speak for anyone else here, however. Maybe others grew up watching Francis’s films on late-night television on a regular basis? Personally, I’m glad I didn’t!)
I, too, have to go with Coleman Francis. Ed Wood’s movies were enjoyable, if only FOR their badness. Hal Warren just made the one. Francis, however, maintained his low standards over 3 movies. It just seems that he potentially had all the tools he needed to make decent films….and just couldn’t. The argument could easily be made for other directors, but I want to pay Coleman back for all the headache-inducing edits in his films. Hmmm maybe he could pick up a 2nd award….Worst Editing?
Bill Rebane for his ‘work’ on Monster A Go-Go at least deserves a nomination. Horrifically inept on every level.
When I think of Hal Warren’s directing, I think of this exchange from the episode:
“What’s that supposed to be, a symbol for their love?”
“Well, it’s not framed very well.”
Whatever you may say about Coleman Francis, he did clearly have a vision. A really, really bleak, hopeless, nihilistic vision, but a vision nonetheless.
Francis walks away with top honors, no question. And Rebane is definitely a runner-up.
But something has to be said for Cy Roth. Though he had a extremely limited filmography (only three films in all, thankfully), his magnum opus Fire Maidens from Outer Space is without question one of the most mind-numbingly dull cinematic atrocities ever conceived. Its use of Borodin makes one want to put a power drill through their ear canal; what does that say?
I can agree that Roger Corman should be nominated for his long and prolific career, but my over-all choice has to be Charles B. “in over his head” Pierce.
I would like to nominated other directors, Hal Warren, Bill Rebane, or even Ed Wood. However, because of the wretched final products that his films became, I have to go with:
Coleman Francis.
No else’s movies were as poorly made as his. The terrible editing in Red Zone Cuba alone makes Coleman Francis the winner here.
Good call, John, though I personally prefer “Dictator for Life” Charles B Pierce.
Nobody metion Arch Hall, Sr. yet? Wow…
Eegah! was full of incredible blunders, such as:
A hideous director not content to have the camera pointed at himself much of the time putting his hideous son in a co-starring role!
Trusting a very tall guy and a dash of backstory justifies making a whole film.
As with so many MST3K features, pointless musical numbers interspersed throughout the film.
Making a film with any sort of association with Ray Dennis Steckler.
Previously mentioned hideous director playing a father who repeatedly tells his daughter to…ah…”submit” to Eegah’s demands for shtemlo. Ick. :shock:
That’s just to name a few. So, yeah, I’m gonna go with the Arch Hall, Sr./Hal Warren/Bill Rebane trifecta.
Coleman Francis, hands down. His films were dark, dreary, stupefying and depressing. Blech!
Honorable mentions:
The vainglorious Charles B. Pierce
Ray Dennis Steckler
Bill Rebane
Ed Wood
Will Zens
So many truly incompetent directors to choose from, but I’m gonna go with Larry (Attack of the The Eye Creatures) Buchanan.
After all, He Just Didn’t Care.
I sorta have to thank #4 Kris for linking to the trailer for Hobgoblins 2. That was hilariously bad, but it’s good that Rick Sloane can have fun with his badness.
Come on guys, I want to think of better stuff than Hal Warren as well, but come on. Even if he wasn’t a director by trade, I’m sure he had watched enough movies in his lifetime to have SOME idea on how to make a movie.
How many movies before Manos had static shots of two people looking at a painting for like 2 minutes while saying absolutely nothing? A monkey with an agent could have provided better direction that Warren.
Hal Warren is the easy choice, but it is also the correct choice.
Coleman Francis. I think if you gave Hal Warren and Coleman Francis the same amount of money, Warren would make the better film.
Yeah, at least Hal Warren made a basically coherent movie. Manos doesn’t have the randomness of a Red Zone Cuba nor the dreariness of The Beast of Yucca Flats.
Glad you enjoyed the trailer for Rick’s new foray into filth, Matt D. :) I still hope that bastard fries in hell, but can appreciate that not everyone has the same ridiculous, hysterical, nausea-inducing reaction to him that I do.
Merle Gould for THE DEAD TALK BACK.
I just picked up Wild World of Batwoman and let me just say it isn’t as bad as I remembered. Horribly directed, but a fun MST3K episode. Not as much of an endurance test as Manos to be sure.
It’s riffalicious!
You guys keep forgetting Bert I. Gordon! Amazing Colossal Man, War of the Colossal Beast, The Magic Sword, and Beginning of the End were all products of his gross incompetence!
I have to say Anthony Doublin of ‘Future War’.
You’d have to be an incompetent boob to do half of the things he did.
What was with the Tai-Chi/Montage workout with the alien slave guy yelling “Cha!” after every movement?
And when the past druggie prostitute/Nun-to-be held her meeting with the ‘riff-raff’ of the streets to fight off the Dinosaurs, did anyone notice besides me that they had quite an assortment of beverages to choose from. Is this a 401K planning meeting or a meeting of drug addicts and pimps? Come on!
I knew this topic was coming up, and when I saw it this morning, I could only think of Monster A-go-go, but forgot that I had been considering Charles Pierce, Sr. for quite some time. I’m not going to say that a director can’t play the lead in his own movie, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. And while I think possibly Coleman Francis, Hal Warren and Ray Dennis Steckler (er, I mean Cash Flagg) cast themselves to keep costs down, Pierce’s casting himself as the lead smacks of arrogance. Too much cockiness(God I said that well!) in his portrayal. I never for a second believed his performance as anything more than a slow, hard ego stroke. Technically competent, sure. But he’s a douche on-screen, and that blows it for me. And his poochy batch is horrific.
Coleman Francis for his body of work, such as it is.
I don’t think Coleman Francis is worst, mainly because his works are so…what’s the word I’m
looking for…”interesting, inconoclastic, dark.” Perhaps he was looking for a non-detective film noir feel. How else do you explain the blind woman and her father in Red Zone Cuba? (Hey, I didn’t say he found it). :roll:
Tough call here. I feel that naming Hal Warren the worst is the same as asking a Christian what their favorite book is. You always get the Bible. I’m compelled to name Warren the worst director. I know he lacked money (and skill, talent, etc) but I can only judge what I’m given, & Manos is the worst thing ever to appear on my TV. It’s hard to really justify any other choice.
Which forces me to see who is the 2nd place, which, if you think about it, is real loser. To be the worst ever director at least carries a sort of prestige, even if negative. But to be the 2nd worst director ever may actually be a pit of hell.
For me it comes down to directors – Coleman Francis for his troika, and then Bill Rebane. Rebane did Monster A-Go-Go and, though no one seems to have mentioned it, The Giant Spider Invasion. M-A-GO-GO is the worst film among the 2 directors, but for simple movie with nothing in it, Coleman Francis has to win. The man seems to have some big ideas – wasn’t the nation desperate for Bay of Pigs movies? – but, as Mike says, he’ll break your neck in that jump cut.
Only one other person has mentioned Merle Gould, director of the shambling mess that is “The Dead Talk Back,” and I urge everyone else to look at that film again before you vote.
If you know anything about directing, you know Gould is doing everything — literally everything — wrong. Even Coleman Francis and “Cash Flagg” bothered to frame action in the camera and make sure key figures were lit, even if they didn’t know what to do with what they shot. Only Hal Warren and Bill Rebane come close to the profound ineptitude of Merle Gould, but at least their films aren’t as pretentious as “The Dead Talk Back.”
After reading all the posts, I was going to say Coleman Francis since his movies without the MST3K treatment are pure HELL to watch without going into a coma or provoking thoughts of suicide.
Then I read #38, and totally agreed with it.
Charles B. Pierce gets my vote.
Hal Warren wasn’t interested in movie making until the whole “Bet” ordeal, so he doesn’t count in my book. Plus watching Manos on its own without the jokes is still easier to do than most other movies shown on MST3K.
Ed Wood suffered from what I call “Excited child” syndrome. He wanted to make the movie as fast as possible to show it to everyone…instead of taking his time and making it good. If he took his time, and had more money, and had total control of who starred in the films…I feel that they would be better. Bad yes, but a bit better.
Whoever directed MST3K: The Movie is the worst director of all time. All it was was a slower, less likable version of the original show … I mean, come on !
I’m going with William Zens. “Hey Starfighters look really cool, I’m gonna film em for 45 minutes and build a subplot around them.”
Greydon Clark. His movies are made in the fashion of made for TV films, the worst type of genre out there. Angel’s Revenge and Final Justice reek of pure ametureness!!
#36: I LIKE The Magic Sword! But there’s no denying that Mr. BIG made quite a few turkeys along the way. I find all of his movies infinitely more enjoyable than anything by Coleman Francis, however.
I’ll cut Bill Rebane some slack for “Monster A Go-Go”, that was basically a last minute hatchet job used to pad the drive-in bill. And while “Giant Spider Invasion” isn’t great, it’s passable.
Coleman Francis is amazingly awful. I know folks say he was trying to “say something” but was too incompetent to do so in his film…but I’m not sold. I think he was just lousy all the way around.
Ugh. To me, there are only two real choices here: Coleman Francis and Hal Warren. I quite literally cannot choose between them, so I won’t. I pick them both. :wink:
Hal Warren only made one movie. Coleman Francis tried 3 times and failed. At least Warren learned his lesson after one mistake.
Now if Uwe Boll could just finally throw in the towel.