So let’s go with Rick’s suggestion:
In “Girl in lovers lane” Crow and Servo suggest an alternate ending. My girlfriend suggests that many MST movies lend themselves to alternate endings.
For instance, in Devil Doll, would it have not been ironic after Hugo and Vorelli soul switch that Hugo, now fully transferred into Vorelli, would be arrested (as Vorelli) for the Butt Lady’s murder?Suggestions?
I’d suggest a darker ending to “Robot Holocaust” — just when everybody thinks it’s all over — cut to Torg … whose eyes light up.
Your suggestion?
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MONSTER A GO GO
“but there was a monster…”
An alternate ending to Tormented in which the spirits of Tom Stewart, Vi, and the blackmailer are reincarnated as siblings in a suburban neighborhood. “Hey brother, I saw you trip Vi on the playground and skin her knee. Give me your candy bar or I’ll tell dad”.
‘mole people’ instead of being crushed, the ‘marked one’ shoves john agar into the bottomless pit, changes her name to June and runs off with Hugh.
‘girl in lovers lane’ how about…oh i don’t know…letting Carrie live? and Danny and Jack Elam settle down in a nice little freight car just outside of town…until…the dinosaurs come!
‘giant gila monster’ exchange student Lisa decides that she can make it on her own and ditches the knee bending, hammer swinging loser.
and finally,
‘the viking women and the sea serpent’ the vikings finally win a super bowl!
As Natalie and Zach drive off, Soultaker Joe is perched on top of Zach’s boat of a car, holding a couple of glowing rings.
The Creeping Terror: The monster rug explodes after eating one too many humans, and that ends the invasion.
Human Duplicators: Kolos decides not to go back to being destroyed, but sells the “Dupe” idea to Marvel, which changes it to “Life Model Decoys”. When his bosses arrive to look for Kolos, they’re greeted by thousands of Captain Americas, and even more Deadpools.
King Dinosaur and Boggy Creek II –
Same alternative ending for both movies. How about if they actually BRING BACK PROOF OF WHAT THEY SAW!!!!!!
For the record, the henchman robot from Robot Holocaust was Torque. Torg was the robot from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
Speaking of Santa Claus, in the Mexican film of the same name, no one ever goes to the observatory. As a result, Santa ends up trapped on Earth and is found guilty of breaking and entering. Adding insult to injury (or perhaps the other way around), Dante gets a chomp on Santa’s hinder, which gets infected. Evil wins and a Hell on Earth is established. But since this is Pitch’s brand of Evil, it’s more of a Heck on Earth.
At the end of Project Moonbase.
Our two heroes stranded on the moon. Col. Briteis and Major Bill Moore. Decide to forgo the marriage ” despite popular public opinion ”
And live out the rest of their days “in sin” on the surface of the moon.
We did have this WDT, but back in July of 2012 (why yes, I am obsessive, thanks for noticing!) so I think it’s high time to re-visit the idea. I’ll pick a different answer than I did then, which involved Mitchell.
At the end of The Skydivers, Beth gets a major makeover, both physically and emotionally, and goes to New York City and becomes That Girl.
Maybe that’s what Sampo meant — maybe he was pitching a lead-in to a crossover sequel where the Martians return to see if Santa Claus survived the Holocaust, maybe invade a little, and definitely “accidentally” leave Droppo behind somewhere.
That’s what you get for landing in San Diego in the middle of Comic-con…
Manos: The Hands Of Fate. Little Debbie is now the caretaker of the place. With big knees. And Michael is one of the “Brides.” Torgo and Karen have run off together. And the cops are still harassing that couple in the car. Some things never change.
how about cave dwellars, when he rides off on the horse. my new ending and he wakes up in a cave and it all was a dream. pod people new ending instead of the kid making trumpy go away. after the bad one is dead, the next scene there in hollywood and he pitches a new show to star trumpy and we will call it Alf.
#8
About the Bright eyes/Moore affair…I’m afraid it gets worse for pre-NASA NASA pr:
After a few days Briteis talks Tommy into making explicit videos of their trysts
(bizarrely claiming that an “internet” would sometime make porn super available and
profitable). Well, soon the Legion of Decency, Joe McCarthy, J. Edgar Hoover, June and Ward Cleaver,
etc. immediately respond (on the premis of “keeping our boys pure” and send a reformed conman from Iowa
to alert the public to the terrible, terrible danger they were in. They might have succeeded save for an
astronette (Barbarella) making a film of their “exploits.” Matters then took a surprising turn when…
In 1960, a helicopter, carrying prototype FM-41 Redeye man-portable surface-to-air missiles, exploded over Southern California. Its cargo was scattered over a wide area.
Over the next five years, three different fugitives running across the desert, being pursued by grim assailants in light aircraft and helicopters who wielded incredibly accurate rifles, at critical moments discovered intact and still-functioning Redeyes in the desert sand, nestled under yucca plants.
And three different Coleman Francis movies had new and radically more entertaining endings.
Beginning of the End:
Miles away from Chicago, a lone military truck brings a still alive giant grasshopper to a secret government installation in the middle of the desert, where it is herd into a large glass and concrete container. The camera pulls back to reveal similar containers each containing giant lizards, spiders, wasps, crabs, scorpions, ants, birds, mollusks, rats, snakes, Bruce Barton ( The Cyclops-1957) and Glen Manning being monitored by a group of scientists . The screen goes black just as one of the scientists states that they have perfected Dr. Wainwright’s research and are ready to start phase 2 in the preparing for the coming growing threat.
At the the end of The Undead, Helaine does not get beheaded. She marries Digger Smolken and the new couple moves in with Meg Maud.
Pendragon, to this day, continues to look for her in the tower of death.
End of ‘Outlaw’ – Instead of Watney Smith being gently escorted out of the street by skinny Italian policemen, he gets flattened by a semi. Credits roll.
Torgo protects them!
Torgo hides the family from the master and sacrifices himself to save them. His last words as he’s destroyed by the master and the family drives away….”It’ll be dark soon.” Scene.
In Time Chasers, when Nick #1 meets Nick #2, things don’t go as well as planned. I’ll let Doc Brown explain it:
“The encounter could create a time paradox, the result of which could cause a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the spacetime continuum and destroy the entire universe! Granted, that’s a worst-case scenario. The destruction might in fact be very localised, limited to merely our own galaxy.”
Oops!
MSTie #9: We did have this WDT, but back in July of 2012 (why yes, I am obsessive, thanks for noticing!) so I think it’s high time to re-visit the idea.
I’m guessing you mean this one (for those who care to see how they previously responded). That time around, I had proposed that the cast of King Dinosaur had failed to clear the blast radius.
I’d like to suggest that Manos have no ending at all, but rather it should randomly become a music video like they do in those big Bollywood productions, where all the wives and Torgo dance around the master, making him look like an idiot, and it would span over several days and then the entire cast would fly away on a ratty moth eaten carpet imprinted with those wacky “Manos” hands like the Master has on his tunic.
The end of The Wild World of Batwoman ends with a lawyer arriving on the set with a cease and desist letter from DC Comics. Then Burt Ward, Adam West, and Yvonne Craig bust in with costumes on to start beating the crap of out the cast — with BIFF! POW! and BLAMMO! appearing on screen.
Oh, and this “ending” takes place about 13 minutes into the movie. The rest of the movie is the Batman actors fighting the cast and destroying the set with police rounding up the crew and getting them into police cars.
Andy Worhol is revealed to be the director in the final credits.
While there probably hairs from the creatures on Crenshaw’s shack, who would think to look for them? Wouldn’t you want to get away from Crenshaw as soon as possible?
At the end of ‘Manos’.
Mike: “I. Am. Michael. I Take. Care. Of. The. Place. While. The. Master. Is. Away.”
Girls: “NOPE!” drive off.
In “Final Sacrifice”, Larry Csonka is revealed to have been alive and well the whole time, in hiding from the creepy cult. Meanwhile, Rowsdower’s space truck arrives on the sun, finding a never-ending supply of fine craft beer on its surface. I see the final scene in my mind, of Csonka and Troy discussing their respective passions (football and Larry Csonka memorabilia) while delicious beer flows between the stars of the galaxy.
Sampo: I’d suggest a darker ending to “Robot Holocaust” — just when everybody thinks it’s all over — cut to Torg … whose eyes light up.
So, you’d give it “Space Mutiny”‘s ending, then…
At the end of “It Conquered the World” Peter Graves “Man is a Feeling Creature” then suddenly the animated foot from Monty Python’s Flying Circus squashes him and that’s the end of that.
In Cave Dwellers, after bombing the castle, Ator lands to find himself confronted by an FAA inspector and a SWAT team. He’s charged with violation of FAA regulation SOP-12-4 Part 103.B.9.B: “No person may allow an object to be dropped from an ultralight vehicle if such action creates a hazard to other persons or property” as well as several terrorism-related offenses, and carted off to jail.
When asked by reporters why he tipped off the feds, the informant replied “I spent years with that guy, forced to serve, being called various stereotypical names (my real name is Brandon, thank you very much — he never even asked), never allowed to talk back. When he decided on this insane raid, I saw my opportunity to get out of this toxic relationship, and took it.”
Gamera vs. Guiron:
Akio and Tom are killed in a traffic accident (Corn Job was driving)
ending of SCCTM
Santa Claus was killed Vietnam.
I’d give Horror of Party Beach a “St. Elsewhere Finale” ending where it was all a dream inside of an autistic child’s nuclear waste-themed snowglobe.
very good.
Space Mutiny should’ve ended like Space Cadets with the reveal that they were all in a warehouse on Earth and nobody actually got killed (explaining Lt. Lamont’s miraculous resurrection).
Rocketship XM: after the fade to white death and the eulogy spiel, cut to the two leads sitting around in a run-down apartment in Minnesota watching “The Crawling Eye” on tv while speculating on how they survived reentry.
Red Zone Cuba: The helicopter crashes because five of the rock-stupid posse tried to all ride in it at once. Coleman escapes and becomes a successful tungsten tycoon. He uses his fortune to also open a chain of frog-leg restaurants that prove to be a huge hit throughout the western states.
#27: I came up with the Python ending as well! (Seriously!) As an alternative, then, I’m going to suggest that Claire Anderson — okay, let’s just say BEVERLY GARLAND has NOT died, still has ammunition, and shoots Peter Graves in the back before he can finish going on and on about man as a feeling creature. (I’m on YouTube listening to Peter Graves’s speech as I type.)
Starfighters – Something, anything, happens at the end.
Did you stop to think that maybe there were hairs all over Tim’s shirt that he kept taking off and laying all over the place? Maybe that’s why he kept taking it off? Maybe they took the shirt and Doc’s hidden Kodak instamatic to the forensics lab at Insane Hog Caller University? On second thought the camera would just be filled with creepy pictures of Tanya bending over in the camper, so never mind that.
Joe Don Baker reconsiders and fires up a blunt; he thoroughly inhales while spanking Linda’s naughty naked butt.
Mitchell!
Love it! And then she rides off with Cane Miro, not on horseback but on the back of the carrot monster!
Alternate Mole People ending,
John Agar’s girlfriend isn’t killed, they have a lovely ancient Mesopatamian/Lutheran mixed officated wedding but…when they try to enter America via Texas to visit his nearest relative (Torgo) they find a thousand foot wall in place (it is 2017) and she is declared an illegal immigrant who is of questionable ethnicity whose vetting will take several decades. Fortunately both civilized countries to the norh and south offer sanctuary, unfortunately they also get a long-winded Agar speech thanking them.
In GIRL IN LOVERS LANE,Big Stupid doesn’t go with Danny,but stays and helps Carrie’s dad and works in the diner..
Yes! — Perfect! :)
no my ending would be for that,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIVilRyWzO4
Sidehackers: The fight between Rommel and JC is about to come to its fatal conclusion. Then Rommel in a state of delirium mumbles the name of his mother -“Martha”.
Instantly the two former adversaries become best friends.
or
I didn’t want to be a scientist anyway, i wanted to be a Lumberjack.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgaRd4d8hOY
I’d have The Killer Shrews end like an episode of Benny Hill. Sheriff Roscoe and the rest of the gang running madly about in their barrel contraption being chased by the shrews. Then the mad drunk guy. Then the poor guy who was trapped in the tree. Maybe some bikini girls and a granny too.
-EEGAH escapes his William Holden moment. Instead, he carries Roxie off and they start a chain of Retirement Villages in Palm Springs and Scottsdale.
-Crenshaw marries the Creature, adopts the little one and moves into town.
-Critter does not join the army, rather, he and Michelle flee to Canada where Michelle dances in her Gold Boots for the Guess Who. Critter, and his new buddy Rowsdower, handle janitorial duties at the club where the band plays.
“Marooned”: Jim reconsiders and realizes that going outside to fix the engine/kill himself would be a stupid idea, since it would involve decompressing the cabin and wasting a lot of breathable oxygen. Instead, they go with Stoney’s idea and dope themselves into a near coma. Ted and the Russian arrive just in time to get them emergency oxygen, and the crew is successfully rescued.
“I Accuse My Parents”: The judge realizes that Jimmy’s killing of Blake was accidental and he’s cleared of murder charges. But he gets 3-5 in the pen for being part of a drug ring and being too stupid to realize it.
“Invasion U.S.A.”: The bar customers walk away, now much wiser thanks to Oman’s hypnotic illusion. But, when they leave the building, we see that, in fact, NYC is a rubble-strewn wasteland. Oman tells the audience that the real illusion was the happy ending. Actually, they’re all going to die from radiation poisoning in a few days, so he gave those poor slobs a happy ending to ease the pain of their doom.
Parts: The Clonus Horror: When the newspaper reporter has the tape that seems to incriminate Walker and Jeff Knight, they both claim that’s fake news and try to get the reporter arrested. Unfortunately, their security detail is Lena and Richard yelling at Walker, “Hey, give me back my eye.”
Project Moonbase: Briteis dumps Bill for Kemp from Moon Zero Two. That’s what happens when the Moon gets more residents.
Stranded in Space: Striker does get back to Earth, but gets unconscious on the re-entry. He’s met by Earth versions of Revere and Benedict, but gets the feeling the Perfect Order may have become popular on Earth somehow