For me, it’s a tie between Cinematic Titanic’s riff of “SCCTM” and RiffTrax’s “Fun in Balloonland.” Both are gaspingly funny.
So, what’s your favorite? And what kind of Christmastime tradition do you have around watching any of these?
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Weekend Discussion Thread: Your Favorite Christmas RiffMST3K, RiffTrax and Cinematic Titanic have given us so much Christmas hilarity. THREE different riffs of “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians,” TWO different riffs of “Santa Claus” and many many RiffTrax features and shorts.
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from SCCTM: Tom ‘elf tastes just like chicken.’
From “The Girl In Gold Boots”.
Crow: Marry Christmas everyone lets go to The Haunted House!
Frank from the CT version of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians: “You stupid fat bastard, you’re killing us with your Pollyanna routine!”
Crows reply to what he wants for Christmas: “I want to decide who lives and who dies”.
From SCCTM…
Santa: And this is Mrs. Claus. HANDS OFF!!!
MST has been part of our holiday traditions for years. The favorite around here is, and always will be, the MSTied Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. I never grow tired of Crow’s “Old man, take a look at my elf, he’s a lot like you” or the Patrick Swayze Christmas song. We’ll watch that one on Christmas Eve.
Today, it’s the MST Santa Claus, a close second. My husband has gotten his holiday catchphrase from this one; around Thanksgiving, he starts saying “I’m here to kick ass and eat candy canes, and I’m all out of candy canes! Hohoho!” (Which is fine until he does that in front of one of the neighbors.)
In the early part of December, the Rifftrax Star Wars Holiday Special, Fun in Balloonland, and especially the RT Christmas Shorts Extravaganza help me feel the true spirit of the holidays: Drunken lunacy and WTF weirdness. In fact, I don’t know what I’d do without them all, but December would definitely be more boring.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians –
Any riff associated with that Droppo guy. Ya know he’s just such a cut-up!
Santa tells Rudolph that he needs him tonight. “Whoa!!!”
He sounds like my kind of guy, your husband, especially if he does it in his underwear! At the front door!
From ‘SCCTM’.
Voldar: “What is a Christmas?”
Joel: “It’s a Christian holiday ruined by commercialism.”
“A pentagram, and reindeer laughing. You figure it out.” Servo in Santa Claus
PICK YOUR REFRIGERATOR LUPITA
Let us not forget that “Mitchell” takes place at Christmas. I love the whole exchange in Deaney’s living room. For a bad guy, Deaney’s got a ton of gifts under the tree, you know.
From “SCCTM”: “Pills for dinner,” laments Santa. “What are we, Judy Garland?”
On Christmas I like to run all of MST3K, CT and RT playing in the background, including all three versions of SCCTM. The visiting kids love them while some of the adults also enjoy them, those that ‘get it’. My favorites are MST3k Santa Claus (wish they did an uncut version), RT Star Wars Christmas and CT SCCTM. There too many riffs however Crows riff of the TeleTalker that he describes as “THE PLEASURE MOUTH” always floors me.
Of the three, The Star Wars special is my favorite simply because its so Effed up. Luke’s eye make up makes me crack up every time. He should have been in Starcrash with Hasselhoff.
Wait, were you the guy walking your dog past our house last week?
The animated Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer done by Rifftrax. Particularly memorable for the scene (which was used in the montage at the MST3K Reunion Live Show) where it looks like Santa is going to hump Rudolph.
As for actual riffs in their Christmas episodes, I particularly recall the difference in the riffs concerning Torg’s theme music in the two takes on Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. The MST3K version state parks it by simply stating that it sounds like the Jeopardy theme in a minor key. The Rifftrax Live show was a bit more inventive by calling it Alex Trebek’s Funeral March.
Of course there’s Tom Servo’s concern for Santa and the reindeer’s capillaries bursting in the vacuum of outer space.
But don’t worry, Santa’s got it covered.
The Rifftrax Santa Claus really leads the pack for me, thanks to the totally nuts Merlin the Q scene, and the attempts to recreate his movement sounds. I really wish they could’ve gotten it into the MST3K version, especially considering how much I hate Pitch. As for individual riffs, I somehow always lose it to the low key riff from the MST3K version that “Santa flew 40 missions over Korea”.
For total disclosure though, I don’t mentally include the hilarious Fun In Balloonland as a holiday movie. It is, but the characters are mainly so far away from anything sane that it feels weird to include it.
My son and I enjoy watching SCCTM together. I love it when Servo evokes “To Build a Fire”, one of my favorite short stories. Servo also sums up the whole movie when he sees the ‘polar bear’ and simply states “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
From MST:
“I don’t know if this helps, but Ho Ho Ho.” – Space Mutiny
Rifftrax:
“Unless you had a brick of Black Cats I can’t imagine that toy being the least bit entertaining” – Bill on the lame “Trailertracker” toy. — Star Wars Holiday Special
“Y’all open yer presents on Chrimmas Eve ‘r Chrimmas morn’n’?”
From MST3k Santa Claus when — from memory — Santa reads a letter saying “Santa doesn’t care” and Mike riffs “THey’re on to me! Into the escape pod!” I say this all the time in my real life, along with “No, Lupita” (often to people not named Lupita . . . )
From The Day the Earth Froze, where Joel says, ” “Hey check it out, it’s Sting, David Lee Roth, Peter Noonan, Sammy Hager, David Carradine, and… Santa?”
The original MST3K versions of both SCCTM and Santa Claus are still my favorites.
SCCTM gave me my namesake, features Patrick Swayze Christmas and a hilarious riff.
Santa Claus is as funny a riff as the show ever did. The sequence at the beginning with all the children of the world is worth the price of admission.
I used to watch all the Christmas stuff Rifftrax has on Hulu each year, but since Hulu’s no longer free I won’t anymore. It’s a bummer because that Rudolph one is one of my favorites.
I love the Grinch Who Stole Christmas riff in The Mole People: “I have to stop Christmas from coming, but how?”
There’s also that one riff from Mitchell where John Saxon looks quizzically at the burglar and Servo gives up a priceless and perfectly timed “…. Santa?”
If we’re discussing the Christmas episodes themselves, I always liked Crow’s terrified shout of “It’s Santa Bear!”
Nice to see Fun in Balloonland getting some props. It’s one of the most insane things MST/Rifftrax has ever done, and that’s really saying a lot. I seriously wonder if the woman narrating that parade had a script or if they just shot her up full of meds and let her loose…
Well, Fun in Balloonland seemed like a Thanksgiving thing to me.
And, preparing for the hate, aside from the marvelous host segments in MST3K, I actually really dislike SCCTM. So of course, I have MST3K, Elvira and CT versions of it. But I drew the line at Rifftrax.
Favorite Christmas riffing, probably the MST3K Santa Claus. “I have defeated the Grinch; I have broken his spell.” Runner up is probably the Christmas shorts special, which has so many great moments: basement Santa; a tree of no account; quality, freshness and flavor; I need you tonight….
(And we really like Ice Cream Bunny, but bizarrely it doesn’t seem very Christmas-y.)
Beat me to it! I LOVE this riff! It’s the delivery.
Deadly Mantis – “But there was no room at the inn, on that snowy night.”
Space Mutiny –
With Santa commanding the vessel and a character whose various nick names sound like the contents of a Hickory Farms gift pack (Beef Chunkcheese, etc.) you can’t get any christmasier than that. Of course, if you want to get into the spiritual aspect of the holiday there is the resurrection scene.
(Whoops, I should have clarified! The “Santa Bear” riff, of course, is from MST3K’s Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.)
Actually, the Santa Claus Conquers the Martians episode is my favorite for reasons of both laughter and personal sentiment. It’s a very funny episode, but there’s more to it than that for me. SCCTM is one of the very first MST3K episodes that I discovered and enjoyed.
My cable company didn’t get Comedy Central, so I couldn’t take in that era of episodes during their first run. Other channels would carry commercials for it, though, and even without Comedy Central, I would strongly remember the part of that commercial in which they showcased the “I love you!” “It’ll never work!” riff exchange from SCCTM.
Anyway, a local channel started picking up the Mystery Science Theater Hour some time later, and when I found out about it, I couldn’t have been happier. One of the few episodes I managed to tape was Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Like many of the MST3K episodes, I laughed harder than I ever seem to have remembered laughing. I would let people borrow my MST3K tapes in order to become new MSTies, but the SCCTM tape always traveled with me, because I couldn’t stand the thought of losing that one.
That ties into the second part of the question: Christmas traditions. I would always play my MST Hour tape of SCCTM during the week of Christmas. Normally, I would try to watch it on Christmas Eve, but that wasn’t always possible. As long as I got to ring in Christmas week with a showing of SCCTM, I was happy enough.
And then, when I managed to acquire Mike and the Bots’ take on Santa Claus, I would add that to the Christmas week tradition. I would play SCCTM and then Santa Claus. It being Christmastime and all, I would make sure to enjoy the episodes over hot chocolate, Christmas cookies, candy canes, and potato chips. Since the days of the MST Hour, I have upgraded from VHS to DVD, but other than that, my Christmastime tradition has remain unchanged.
For me, it’s a tradition that’s just as important as a Turkey Day Marathon. I’m really interested to see what Jonah and the new MST3K gang have cooked up for their holiday special, and I look forward to adding that episode alongside the Joel and Mike episodes as part of my Christmas tradition.
One great riff after another in Space Mutiny:
“Ho HO, ho.”
“Finally, Christmas comes to Santa.”
“Uh, Mrs. Kringle and I have an understanding.” “It’s basically over between us.”
“Wanna see me shake like a bowlful of jelly?”
“Ho ho… hohohohoho…”
“Someone DID leave a cookie out for me.”
“I am a right jolly old elf.”
“Let me just check you twice here.”
I used to watch all the Christmas episodes in December. I’d usually decorate a tree to Santa Conq Martians and wrap gifts to Santa Claus and just relax with Jack Frost. But now I don’t. I watch the show in order. I do watch the original Jack Frost/Father Frost in Russian around Christmas. I love that film with or without the show. I have a huge stack of Russian fantasy films I didn’t know about until they showed some of them on MST3K. Although the first Russian film I ever saw was the animated Snow Queen from 1959. I saw it in the mid 70s when I was 8 years old.
“Charles Manson walks our streets, the Zodiac Killer’s at large, Charles Bukowski is pukin’ out the window and Santa Claus is on his way-eeee!~”
(So WAS that scene in “Girl in Gold Boots” actually supposed to be at Christmastime? It wasn’t too clear.)
The Rifftrax shows from on Hulu are now on Yahoo video (formerly Yahoo Screen) (no signing up needed, so no hacking worries), so they can still be seen for free. In fact, I’m checking there later this weekend to see which Christmas stuff is there.
On topic:
I don’t have a set tradition, but since I did the watching of most MST3k shows in chronological order by movie year (and all the ones from a certain year in show order)throughout this year – conveniently wrapping up the main marathon in early December, it turns out – I decided to watch the two Christmas episodes the same way. Santa Claus last night, SCCTM tonight.
Rifftrax did a great job with Santa Claus, but I thought their SCCTM was lackluster, being the third version after the excellent CT version. I only got to see the Rifftrax of the Ice Cream Bunny at the live show, though I did watch the best-of version of the Thumbelina one on YouTube a while back. That best-of was so hysterical, I was so glad to see the awesome Rifftrax Live version when they finally did it.
Probably my favorite moment from both MST3K shows is the insane reindeer moment in Santa Claus. Just having M&tB laugh-turning-onto-frightened-screaming was extremely funny! Plus, I have my own riff whenever a certain Martian acts especially goofy in SCCTM: “Klinger, you might finally get that section 8!”
The description means “Favorite episode” (out of five or six), but the responses seem to keep with the title of “Favorite riff”, which makes more sense. :)
– Classic MST3K Santa/Martians:
Reporter: “Let’s have a word with the man himself–Excuse me, Santa?:”
“‘Get the hell out of my workshop!'”
Martian: “He’s there! I see Santa Claus!”
“And he’s kissing Mommy!”
– MST3K Santa Claus:
Santa: “(reads letter) ‘Dear Santa, I want a little brother for Christmas’…
“‘Ho ho, CAN do, kid!'”
My favorite riff from the RT Christmas shorts wasn’t in it, and would probably qualify for the next “Riffs They SHOULD Have Done” thread:
In the Night Before Christmas short, as we hear “Visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads”–and see a running 50’s-Casper animation loop of dancing candy over the kids’ sleeping heads–MK&B wisely decided to go for the Cult Celeb-bashing riff. (“Y’see, this is what’s running 24/7 in Shia LaBoeuf’s head…”)
On a burst of inspiration, and unconsciously Joel-like delivery, I instead found myself riffing, “Hey, look, their dreams are having Intermission–‘Let’s all go the lob-by…'” :)
So many wonderful possibilities!
Don’t forget SANTA AND THE SNOW QUEEN FAIRY … “I will play a liddle choke on Santa!”.
And SANTA’S VILLAGE OF MADNESS, perfect for when distant relatives you don’t like show up late and drunk and somebody knocks over the tree and everything spins horribly out of control …
No love for RiffTrax’s “Nestor, The Long-Eared Christmas Donkey”? I know it’s an early Mile-only riff, but Mike is really on point. And the show itself is so dark and uncomfortable for most of its duration (with appropriately dark riffs), you sit in wonder at just why the hell this was ever made.
Favorite riff: “He is such an ass. HE IS! He is literally, and unquestionably, an ass.”
*Muffled* “Heeeeeh heeeeeh heeeeeh” ~ The Ice Cream Bunny
Santa Claus Killed in Vietnam.
My favorite is the granddaddy/grandmommy of them all, “Santa Claus Conquers The Martians”, episode 321 (Contact!) of MST3K.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, original Joel version, is my number holiday movie treat, but for a different reason than most. My dad died when my brother and I were young and times got tough for a while. SCCTM only tangentially touches on presents for kids where most Christmas specials end up with the stereotype beautiful tree laiden with brightly wrapped presents. Don’t get me wrong. We still got presents on Christmas morning. My all time fave was a Man From UNCLE camera that converted to a cool pistol, but after the thrill of unwarpping was done things got a bit glum in the house.
If you, too, get glum this time of year there is no better pick-me-up than Santa Claus Conquers The Martians with Joel and the Bots. It’s better than egg nog! — A Texas Bomar
not a riff (on the same lines) but:
when Gypsy had a nativity scene inside her mouth. i always like that part.
You are mistaking Luke for Bea Arthur, a common mistake.
forget which Rifftrax Santa Claus short (the Mexican Santa):
Which way to the donkey show.
SCCTM – “Crush them!”… “You were adopted.”
From The Deadly Mantis;
Because of volcanic activity, a creature called Santa Claus emerged from pole.
Or something like that. Can’t remember the exact phrase.
All the Santa Claus/Christmas shorts riff are great, but I really need to give a shout out for Jack Frost aka Morozko. My understanding is that during the Communist days in the Eastern Bloc, that movie was shown during Christmastime on television not only in the USSR, but also in Poland, Czechoslovakia, etc., to the point where even today it is a cherished Christmas tradition in those countries. Morozko is also known as Father Christmas and Father Frost, so he fits perfectly well in the pantheon of MST3K Christmas Culture.
With that having been said, “Eat lead, spring!”
I think the live Santa Claus riff from Rifftrax is superior only because of “Ride to ruin and the world’s ending. DEAAAAAATTHHHH” as Santa starts his ride.
That, and when Santa tosses the sleeping powders to a couple of kids: “So Santa is Timothy Leary for kids”.
And let’s not forget “Holy Santa Pray for us” from “Prince of Space,” when Krankor starts firing at pesky Japanese kids.