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Weekend Discussion Thread: Least-Imposing VillainSorry for the late start. Slept in.
Somebody in the comments suggested this a few months back (sorry, I didn’t take note of who). It sounded like something we might have done, but I searched and I can’t find anything (though I did see TWO different “dumbest evil plan” threads). So: least-imposing villain in a MSTed movie. I gotta go with that clown white Darth Vader knockoff in STAR FORCE – FUGITIVE ALIEN II. Not even characters in the movie were scared of him, just kind of irritated. Your pick? 62 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Least-Imposing Villain”Commenting at Satellite News
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Krankor –
Except for the ear worm laugh Krankor is the least ominous villain out there. I mean, get a load of his “big” threat. A giant Ross Perot!
PS – Everyone deserves a sleep-in once in a while. — Jay
Monster A Go Go: There was no villain.
The Creeping Terror: Really, how could anyone not escape from it?
Hmmmm…. I don’t recall that the “eye creatures” were particularly imposing… particularly what with their exploding when you shine a light on them.
Dunno, I found his and his henchmen’s garb extremely threatening. :eek:
The bad guys trying to torture the hero in Mighty Jack. “This light will cause permanent blindness”. “I’ll just keep my eyes closed”. “Damn! He is too clever for us”.
Troxartas from Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell.
The weird beats in his sentences, his fashion choices, his over-the-top mannerisms, his inept swordfighting style, his lack of a threatening physical presence, everything – there was virtually nothing intimidating about the guy.
(And that’s not even taking into account that the Warriors from Hell were a greater asset to Deathstalker than Troxartas when the Warriors were under Troxartas’ control.)
Crow said it best: “It’s hard to look menacing when you’re dressed like Maude.”
More of a villainous sidekick, but the Napoleon Dynamite/Beavis-looking thug from Daddy-O.
Pitch from Santa Claus is more of a nuisance than anything. A prancing nuisance, at that. Pretty sad for a literal demon from Hell. Even a little girl was able to skillfully argue her way out of his attempts to get her to misbehave.
I haven’t had enough coffee yet this morning, but off the top of my head I’ll go with the Mr. & Mrs. Thurston Howell look-alike, sound-alike, act-alike couple from Catalina Caper. They weren’t even trying, and could no doubt have been bought off with a few well-made martinis.
Baba Yaga (Hunchback Witch) from “Jack Frost”. Ivan EASILY tricked her into sitting on a shovel resulting in her nearly getting cooked in the oven! She even employs her pet cat and pig to do her dirty work!
The guy behind the desk in City Limits. Pretty underwhelming as masterminds go.
The drug kingpin from Angels’ Revenge. The way his operation was upended by a bunch of semi-competent (normally I’d say half-assed, but…) vigilantes makes you wonder how he managed to control the narcotics trade in the first place.
Without question, Fred Alger (MEL TORME!) in GIRLS TOWN. Great singer, he was; tough guy, he definitely wasn’t. (And notice that Mel didn’t sing in GIRLS TOWN; I’m sure they couldn’t afford him, so they let the decidedly UN-jazzy, as well as UNKNOWN, PAUL ANKA sing instead.)
From one of the shorts — the gang in “What about Juvenile Delinquency?” featured with THE ATOMIC BRAIN. You have got to be kidding me!
From GIRLS TOWN: “Hit him, he’ll cry.”
Commander March from Angel’s Revenge. True he’s not the big villain of the film, but he’s definitely the most memorable. I actually felt a really bad for Jim Backus after seeing this.
the head moon geek from ‘Commander Cody.’
The Beast of Yucca Flats: A 350-pound melted scientist who wields a shepherd’s staff and lumbers along at a sloth’s pace way out in the desert, where he’s only a threat if your car breaks down or your kids run off due to your ignorance of, or ensnarement in, the merciless wheels of scientific progress. I’m shaking!
The Chairman in OatMB (although it’s not clear he’s all that evil, just
trying to stop Fingol’s meddling. Btw, if Fingol had just done nothing it seems
he would have been saved. And he could have just gotten on the plane to Lisbon.
I mean, the Chairman’s (burp) solution to Fingol meddling was to “reverse the
access code.” (some more cheese fries, immediately!) Crow should really have
hurt the movie after that ploy. Even a filthy, disgusting anteater could have
come up with a better plan. (Get the Chairman another chicken fried steak).
You apparently missed the insidious nature of the Creeping Terror: it apparently had some kind of psychic control over it’s victims, causing them to crawl right into the monster’s mouth!
I’m going to go with Beau Bridges. Sure, he was a giant. But, his main plot seemed to consist of being fed chicken.
Voldar from “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians”. When you can be outsmarted by Droppo and overwhelmed by some kids, you’re not all that menacing. I don’t hold being outsmarted by Santa against him, though; Kris Kringle’s jolly, but he’s no dunce.
Donald Pleasance as Kobras in Peeyoomaman. “With my brains and your beauty…”
And Kalgan. The man drove a golf cart around.
You know, Troxartis doesn’t seem like that bad of a ruler either.
Rat Fink in “Wild, Wild World of Batwoman.” Or Mr. Big in “Racket Girls.”
D’oh! Can’t believe I missed that.
Well, imposing and effective are two different things. Coily the Spring Sprite isn’t all that imposing, but man could he wreck havoc if he wants…
“Has anybody seen my record? I just bought it!” The leader of the Neptune Men (AKA Suppository Man) has problems just walking across the control center of his spacecraft. Sure, his Pierogis of Death finally gin up some decent destruction at the last moment, but before that his insidious plans to destroy humanity include making records play backwards and causing moderate temperature fluctuations.
Louhi – Day Earth Froze – Sure, she’s a powerful sorceress and all, but both of our burly heroes were well within striking distance of an old woman who kidnapped their sister/fiance. Were they waiting for an invitation to run her through?
Frankie – Skydivers – He gets his butt kicked by Harry and had Susie not dangled her D’s in front of him he would’ve just gone quietly away.
Torgo – Manos – Honestly, I typed that with a whole spiel in mind. But, was Torgo really the bad guy? He tried many times to warn the family about the danger and even rebelled against the Master. Hmmm. Wow. That’s a really good question…
Since it’s the Christmas season, I’m going to say Pitch from ‘Santa Claus’. :devil: For a demon with all the powers of Hell, he only manages to be slightly annoying. And getting three boys to perform mischief isn’t much of a victory.
I suppose Frankie, Sniffles, Bounce-Bounce, and the Claw from Hobgoblins would sort of count as villains, if stuffed animals are your idea of a villain.
The Hobgoblins were effective villains, even creating physical manifestations of bony phone sex women. Although you might say that real villain was everyone’s fantasies.
Time Chasers boss in the mall dude. My own toxic boss would make him cry for his mother to take him home and read him a bedtime story.
Plus, isn’t J.K. responsible for a lot of people at his company and likely stock holders too? And here is messing around with a time machine, er, transport.
Frankie from The Skydivers. He was a complete wimp, and the only reason he put the acid in the chute was because Suzy forced him. And he didn’t have to sleep with the pharmacist.
How about the dark one and valaria from robot holocaust. The worst it can do its turn into an avacado and it can make you go the room of questions. Crow quote “where is the room of questions.”
Zor aka the John Saxon looking guy in Cave Dwellers.
Next time you watch Cave Dwellers compare the bodies of Zor and Ator. To quote the bots ” Jeez kid, eat a sandwich”. I know what “Classy” Freddie Blassie would’ve called Zor – a pencil neck geek. It doesn’t help that Zor looks like former MLB All-Star pitcher Dennis Eckersley. I’m sure that doofus Sandor could beat up Zor. Tong (Thong?) would probably slap his face silly with a couple of freshly caught delicious Bass.
Time to hit the gym Zor. I believe there is a Gold’s Gym at the ends of the Earth. It’s by the Hang Glider store where we all know Ator got his “Flying Machine”.
The Martin Balsam character in MITCHELL. So unimposing it’s not even clear if he IS the villain, or what his plan happens to be. Can’t even remember his name – was it Miggles? Bob Miggles? Something like that I think …
Still, I’m sure we all remember his uncatchy unvillainous catchphrases, like “You’re a lousy butler,” or the gee-I-hope- I’m-not-being-too-rough-on-the-guy way he delivers them.
I have a special place in my affections for Cleolanta from ‘Crash of the Moons’ and ‘Manhunt in Space.’ She’s supposed to be a world ruler but I guess the studio heads couldn’t handle having a woman in that post so everyone around her keeps undermining her authority. She is even picked up and carried off at one point. Yes, literally.
At one point as she’s glowering and daggers are flying out of her eyes Joel riffs, “She has one look and this is it.” I don’t blame her in the least. In fact, inside I kind of cheer her on. Fire those tritanic missiles (or whatever they’re called)!
In the spirit of Christmas, Pitch has been nominated in terms of just being a pest, but what about Voldar? He’s more of a glory-days grouch than a villain. One could argue that he approached being effective when he nearly fired Santa and the kiddies out into space (a rather gruesome way to go out in a kiddie film, all things considered), but that still doesn’t mitigate the fact that he was defeated by an onslaught of children’s toys.
The only character granted less dignity than Voldar may have been Dropo, but considering that Dropo at least got to be Santa, even that might be a close call.
I’ll with the Robbie Robertson look-alike chief engineer in “Space Mutiny”. A villain that hobbles around on a cane is just not that scary.
I’ll go with the Robbie Robertson look alike in “Space Mutiny”. A villain that hobbles around on a cane is just not that scary.
Thanks to your reply now I am reading every reply in Servo’s overly sarcastic voice via the Sarcasm Sequencer. “Oooooooooh I’m shaking!”
What about the devil in Out of this World?
His evil plan to get a bread-truck driver not to work very hard involved sending a woman to pretend to interview him about bread delivery.
Voldar from Santa Claus Conquers the Martian. Anyone whose plans could be foiled by Droppo and a few Earth kids is simple…sad.
I think drunk Peter Lawford in Angel’s Revenge wouldn’t last too long in a real fight with some of the women in that movie. Bad movie or not, I’d take Terry and Keiko over the has-been bad guys any day.
TV’s Frank –
Listed in the credits as both a “villian” and a villain we have to consider Frank to be the most innocuous, easy going, and cuddly bad guy in the history of MSTdom. After all, how menacing can you be sporting a silver spit curl?
PS – No one could ever say, “There was no Frank”.
Widening the topic to Rifftrax villains I have to nominate Kylo Stimpy, er Kylo Ren from The Force Awakens. Rick Moranis as Dark Helmit in Spaceballs was more intimidating.
I’ll go with Congressman Witkowski from The Starfighters. The movie practically doesn’t have a villain. He’s frustrated with his son. That’s it. He causes almost no conflict at all; he literally phones in his role. Everything goes swimmingly for the protagonist for the entire film.
There’s a bunch of new stuff available at Rifftrax.com.
1) Mike, Kevin, and Bill riff the movie “Superargo and the Faceless Giants.”
2) “Jurassic World” is available in the “Just the Jokes” section.
3) “Red Zone Cuba” and “City Limits” can be found at the “Mystery Theater 3000 Episodes on Rifftrax” section.
Enjoy. :-)
Kermes from Colossus and the Headhunters. Without the headhunters, Amoa could knock his block off
The Eye Creatures, as explained in the famous “They Just Didn’t Care” segment
Balleau from “Bloodlust”. Killing convicts for sport is one thing, being unfaithful to your minions is another
The list so far is pretty funny.
Dr Kurt Leopold as a human in droopy old man underware or as a walking Catfish who neeeds to use a hand rail and is menacing mankind with a spray bottle.
How about the high school kid from “Cheating”? Un-Imposing and incompetent.