Many of the films that got the MST3K treatment were made on shoestring budgets (and some got a lot less). So the filmmakers couldn’t construct elaborate sets or expensive CG effects…or build reasonable props. The list of bad props in MST films is a treasure trove of WTF? I always wonder if the filmmakers knew going in that these props looked unconvincing, or if they really thought an audience’s suspension of disbelief was great enough to override those shortcomings.
Worst props in an MST’d film. The chewed gum/foil ball dead talker-thingy from The Dead Talk Back and that dingy paper circle calendar from Blood Waters of Dr. Z immediately stand out in my mind. What the hell was up with those?
I’m going to pick the monster in The Creeping Terror. Did they REALLY think that was scary?
What’s your pick?
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Oh jeez, the heads in Pumaman. It’s like they had an entire high school art class’ worth of sculptors to choose from, and chose the worst of them.
the Giant VW Invasion spider-car.
the semi-lifelike “Cathy” robot from Track of the Moon Beast
Super Not-a-Basement Space ship from Space Mutiny
Ultra realistic phone in Monster A-Go-Go
Bonus Track of the Moon Beast garbage “That’s just a PICTURE of the Moon.”
Future War’s “cyborg” looked like it was cobbled together from some football gear and dime store face paint, but the cardboard box “TV Camera” is even worse! 2 for the price of none…
For me, there’s no contest. It’s definitely the cardboard news camera in Future War.
“I’ll throw my doll at you!” from Prince of Space. Not so much a prop, more of a stunt double…
The giant Beau Bridges “legs” standing out in the middle of the street in Village of the Giants. When the cowboy tries to rope them, it looks like…sorry, I can’t even give anything close to an appropriate simile; those legs just stand there, in all their papier mache-like glory. Well-done, Bert I. Gordon!
Mitchell’s baby oil.
The Beginning of the End
Grasshoppers climbing up a photograph of a building. As they say in Chicago, “Well, What tha …”
Creeping terror was spot on horrible.
The sock creatures from Robot Holocaust were terrible (unless they were used gym socks and then you are on to something.)
The deadly floating Richochet Spider from Women of the Prehistoric Planet was bad (and why the Richochet sound???)
The dinosaurs from Future War were exactly what I would find in my nephew’s toy chest (which were mine when Inwas his age.)
The motorcycle from Warrior of The Lost World was just so incredibly annoying (Megaweapon still has a place in my heart for crushing it.)
Lastly, the floor waxing machine as transportation device in Space Mutiny. No matter how ripped and bad you are, you just can’t give an aura of supreme toughness riding in that thing…
Well, my first choice of the cardboard box camera has already been mentioned twice, so….
How about the invisible face shields in 12 to the Moon? You can’t get much cheaper than not-even-there.
Please pardon my nitpickiness (“Why stop now?”), but some of those aren’t props so much as characters. I’d define a prop as something that qualifies as an object within the film itself. That may be just me, though.
Getting back to “12 To The Moon” how about the rocket that was supposed stop the aliens from freezing everything? Even Mike said, “we’ve run out of budget”.
Or Torgo’s charred hand from Manos, or the all purpose control system from Fire Maidens from Outer Space
The “scary monsters” brought to us by Bert I. Gordon are too silly to take seriously: the goofy sea serpent in the Viking Women and the Sea Serpent flick (“I’m comin’ Beany Boy”), and the upside-down ice cream cone alien (and the bat “control devices”) from “It Conquered The World” immediately spring to mind.
I think that would be Joe Don Baker, actually.
The bubble machine from ‘Robot Monster,’ what WAS the point?
in more than one movie, the fakey-real when showing car crash, submarines, etc.,
cutting from real to fake and back.
The telephone that DOESN’T “ring” from Monster-A-Go-Go!?
I’ve seen into the future and can only recall the “golden hen” that will be seen at the upcoming Rifftrax Live of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny with Jack and the Beanstalk as the interlude film.
The robot in “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians”, which looked like the children made it – in kindergarten!
The killer lobster shadow from Teenagers From Outer Space. Even when I saw this movie as a kid, it wasn’t convinving. I wonder if they ate it during their wrap party.
The “space capsule” from ‘Monster A Go-Go’. You know, the one that looked like it would be very cramped for a puppy let alone a full grown human?
Yep. Danger, Death Ray comes to mind: “toy boat, toy boat”. Gamera vs. Zigra and the moon expedition flashback back was pretty “5th grade art project” too.
The bats(?) Livia and the imp transform into in The Undead always makes me scratch my head. Corman!
#15:
They’re aliens. They don’t think like us. They don’t act like us. They don’t REact like us. That’s one of the reasons we call them “aliens.” ;-)
The various spying gadgets from Santa Claus.
Yes, the ‘Santa Claus Conquers the Martians’ robot, as was mentioned, but even more so: the Holiday on Ice polar bear that shows up a few minutes earlier. As Tom says, “You have got to be kidding me! You can see the head piece draped over the body!” Also love the hair-dryer pop guns in that movie, and those “cheap versions of the Lost in Space sets”!
Great WDT! My husband just came in and said, “What are you laughing at?”
Most of my favorites have been mentioned — the toy boats in Danger!! Death Ray (“Special effects by Billy!”), the grasshoppers ‘climbing’ the postcard of skyscrapers in Beginning of the End, and the motorized rug that was The Creeping Terror.
How about a shout-out to the rigged-up Killer Shrews in their titular role? Perhaps the movie could have been called The Slightly Pissed-Off Dogs. (Btw, are they props when they’re on animals? On people they’d be considered costumes. Hmmmm…..)
Another one that cracks me up every time is more of a non-prop — when the scientist pretends to lock the door in Agent from H.A.R.M. but obviously has nothing in his hand at all.
‘Santa Claus’
the ear o scope, the pleasure mouth, the robo cat and of course, the demonic reindeer.
Now that I think of it, you could limit this entire discussion to space movies. Also from SCCTM, the Simon game that runs the ship and the big, rickety wooden handles that lower the landing legs! And from ‘Space Mutiny,’ I love their attempt to pass off Hula-Hoops as futuristic dance props!
The oscillating fan with an ear attached from Santa Claus.
And I have to second the toy vehicles in Danger! Death Ray. Those helped me fall in love with the show.
The octopus in BRIDE OF THE MONSTER. It’s the stuff dreams are made of.
Beautiful choices all around, though — for example, who can forget the grasshoppers crawling up the postcards (#8)?
This is a bit (a LOT) off topic but I think the many of the props in The Giant Claw would qualify. The buzzard with Marty Feldman eyes, hank of hair, huge hairy nostrils and thick visible wires that attacked model airplanes (with thick visible wires) toy train sets and dolls made poor Rex Reason cringe and sneak out of a theater.
I’ve wondered why this flick has not been attempted by any of the riffing crews that are out there? Anyone know? Thanks.
Obviously the cardboard camera and the bathtub submarine are in a class by themselves, so here are a few of my other favorites:
Prince of Space’s Flying Saucer – “Swing me over there, trusty string!”
The faux brain from The Brain That Wouldn’t Die – “A heavy rain would kill him.”
Pretty much every prop in Cave Dwellers
3-D, man. 8-) Today, you know it’s a 3D film when there’s snowflakes or time-stopped water droplets everywhere; back then, it was bubbles.
For those who can watch side-by-side 3D, or can watch YouTube on their 3DTV, one brave soul dedicated to vintage 3D restoration gave us some idea of the theatrical experience:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpz2JERo3AY
I’ll go back to the beginning of the thread and second the Pumaman heads–Were they supposed to look that art-class, or did it say “realistic” in the script?
The robot from “Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy” will always stand out in my mind, as the worst prop ever made.
The Eye Creatures costumes…
The moon car made out of jellybeans in Gamera vs. Zigra. I said once that I was pretty sure I had seen that prop before — on the game show Press Your Luck. :-)
I can live with the robot in Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy:
Servo: A human robot? There’s a flaw right there.
Then, don’t forget those fake legs in Village of the Giants.
Servo: Oh I get it! They wanted to wrap that rope around my legs, not those manikin things there!
But nothing beats that stupid giant syringe in The Amazing Colossal Man. I mean, didn’t it occur to Bert I Gordon that just maybe he should have a giant prop that a little guy could manipulate? I mean, how did they expect to push the syringe into Glen’s body anyway?
It’s a shame that there aren’t enough Captain Video episodes still extant for the Brains to mock – it would have been perfect. There was supposedly an episode where the producers needed a stethoscope prop, but they didn’t have one, so somebody ran downstairs to the bargain basement, bought a child’s stethoscope and took it to the set. The actor tried desperately to use the stethoscope and make it look natural. I guess that’s why Star Trek went with the salt shakers instead. :rotfl:
Wait. You mean these movies aren’t real? It’s all stories and cheap props?
Thanks for the spoiler, you no good son of a
Was that a glowing blob on Space Children, or the pot roast for tonight?
The “Space Platform” from Robot Monster. A cheap toy rocket with a sparkler on the back, with a stick on the bottom so the prop guy could move it around, and a fog machine to cover up the stick and prop guy’s hand. Which it didn’t do very well at all, so the cheap, unconvincing toy became a cheap, unconvincing toy that’s obviously being held up by someone’s hand. (Quite possibly the most entertaining thing in the movie.)
(I’d mention Ro-Man’s costume, but that’s really kind of a cheap shot at this point.)
On the other hand, the spaceships from Space Mutiny didn’t look that bad, almost like they were taken from some other production that had a real prop department. (But surely they would’ve mentioned that in the episode, right?) (Yes, I am kidding.)
The werewolf/bear/bat mask from Werewolf.
Also, every accent in Werewolf.
Several have brought up SCCTM at this point, which makes sense. I’m surprised though that nobody’s mentioned the Wham-O Air Blaster in the same movie. It was the first thing that came to my mind.
Doesn’t it feel just a tad silly though to talk about “worst props” when we have a show that literally used gumball machines and bowling pins to make robots? ;)
I would have to go with the giant rubbery snakes in “Women of the Prehistoric Planet” and “Bride of the Monster”. I know these films had very limited resources to draw on, but c’mon, really?
Oh, how about Bela’s giant-making machine in BRIDE OF THE MONSTER? He’s trying to defy the laws of physics using a photo-enlarging machine, a spaghetti strainer, and some wires. No wonder he went around the bend…
Or how about the Rascals scooters they race in SPACE MUTINY?
A couple that come to mind:
> Ro-man’s high-tech cave lair props from Robot Monster – like items the director picked up at a garage sale. But there WAS that amazing bubble machine…
> Mega-weapon. Ok, SURE it was a BIG TRUCK, but sticking some cheapo-looking spikes on the front of it does not exactly rise to the level of either “mega” or “weapon”.
In Wild World of Batwoman, the atomic hearing aid/spy device appears to be an off the shelf tape player. The crux of the whole plot hinges on this incredible invention, and they can’t be bothered to INVENT something even partially convincing or interesting.
I’d also nominate Monster A-Go-Go’s tiny space capsule suitable for a 3-foot tall person with a fear of sitting.
Kudos to Coleman Francis for using real planes and actual people skydiving in Skydivers. Too bad he didn’t use real actors or a script.
Those glowing jelly bracelets on Soultaker
Mega-weapon!? Mega-weapon’s great!
Surely if we’re including vehicles, and referencing Warrior of the Lost World, you’ve got to go with that #$%^&* bike!
Apparently, they originally had a much more impressive looking monster creation for the “Creeping Terror” originally, but some jackass stole it. So, blame the thief for the really cheap Chinese dragon.
And
So that Crow could make a Lawrence Welk joke, of course! Why else would you have a bubble machine? Now-a turn it off-a, please-m.
The wheel hatch in the Rocky Joneses, that you had to pretend to open, to open.
My mind reels to watch the “landing” sequences in movies like Project Moonbase, which consists of a rocket flying horizontally across the view screen a few times. In PM it never even lowers.
Bela’s double.
The hankie on Hired!’s dad’s head.
Robert Easton’s prominently-featured girdle.
Cash Flagg’s only physical deformity as a mixed-up zombie: a hoodie.
The snake pit in Cave Dwellers (where the few snakes present are just as afraid of the women).
Space Mutiny’s galactic industrial basement
Zigra’s cobwebs
The deck furniture sleeping arrangements of First Spaceship on Venus
Y’know, the thought process for this brings to mind a lot of comparatively GOOD props in some notably terrible movies – Manos’s painting, costume, and Master’s Staff, for instance.