Just a few days ago, I was minding my own business watching Overdrawn at the Memory Bank when the scene came on with Apollonia reprimanding Fingal for spending – what, several days? – “making love” with Felicia. Raul Julia turns on the smolder in that scene, and suddenly I found myself sitting up and thinking, “Why, HELLO, Mr. Julia. How YOU doin’?” I was sort of both amused and disgusted with myself. I mean, it IS a young Raul Julia we’re talking about here, but, on the other hand, it’s Raul Julia in Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, so…
So my question is, what’s your most embarrassing crush on an actor/actress in an MST movie? I feel like Raul Julia isn’t TOO embarrassing, actually, so I’ll also submit the floppy-haired indeterminately European Paul from “Werewolf.” I should know better, I really should, but the heart (or whatever it is) wants what the heart wants.
No question: Mary Beth Hughes, especially in “Last of the Wild Horses.” She can saddle me up anytime.
How about you? Oh, and keep it PG-13, okay?
) to help our users cope with "trolls" and other commenters whom they find annoying. Go to our
Easy. Mamie Van Doren. Va va va voom!
Yvette Vickers from ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES is my #1 crush for “she cats”.
Allison Hayes is a very, very close #2.
Always had a thing for Sheila from “The Projected Man”.
Yeah, not feeling this one. From the greasy muscle men in the Hercules/MyCheesesteak movies to the leering jerks like Mike Connors in Swamp Diamonds, I just really never felt even a twinge for any of these guys.
See ya next week!
Oh, I forgot! I love you Eegah!!!!
:)
Megaweapon
Allison Hayes, definitely. And as a child of the 80s, I have a weakness for tons-of-hairspray-wearing-vaguely-European-looking models, so Rebecca Ferratti of Outlaw is up there, too. That also means Brigid Conley Walsh (Quest of the Delta Knights–and she was also in an episode of Angel!) is on the list, too.
But the most embarrassing? As many times as I’ve seen Space Mutiny, Cisse Cameron has finally worn me down. Lord help me.
Jane from Puma Man and Michelle from Gold Boots.
Bruno VeSota. No question. He brought a fine dignity to his character in Attack of the Giant Leeches. He’s so wonderfully buttery in Daddy-O. VeSota’s presence even made Batwoman marginally less horrible.
Every time I see him in some other movie or TV episode, I squeal, “There’s Bruno!” It embarrasses my family, but I don’t care.
Sigh…Bruno!
I’ve always agreed with Crenshaw that Tanya sho’nuff is a man’s kinda woman. And, of course, her knowledge of Boggy Creek Creature history is unparallelled.
And, I don’t know about embarrassing but this one might seem odd: the wife in ‘Manos.’ Even with a badly dubbed voice and in the ugliest movie ever made, she appeals to me greatly. I mean I totally get where Torgo’s coming from and can sympathize with his awkwardness around her.
Since Mamie Van Doren and Michelle from Gold Boots have already been mentioned I’ll pick someone else. Juli Reding from Tormented is smoking hot!!!!!!!!!!! :-P :rotfl:
Natalie from Werewolf, yep she’s got all the presence of a bowl of vanilla pudding, but she’s very hot.
Harvey B Dunn’s granddaughter in Teenagers From Space is all kinds of foxy.
Alison Hayes in the Undead was amazing, and of course Tia Carrere in Zombie Nightmare, lol.
Lori Nelson in either Untamed Youth or Revenge of the Creature (I can understand the gillman’s attraction to her). I also admire the fact that she had enough self control not to slap John Agar when he referred to her as “cake”.
One more, just one more honorable mention must go out to a Bra Bra Navel Nite. Of course I mean Barbara Valentine from Horrors of Spider Island.
Hey, what’s wrong with Raul? :P
For me, definitely Big Stupid from Girl in Lover’s Lane. Although that’s not very embarrassing– I mean, he really WAS cute. Hmmm… I’d be slightly more embarrassed to admit that Kane Miro (?) from Gunslinger is pretty attractive…
I thought Kevin Casey (Beth) from Skydivers was pretty cute, hairdo and all
There’s Amy in Hobgoblins — once she learns to be a slut, of course.
And an easy pick: Kathy Ireland in Alien from L.A. The glasses, the voice, and the Dull Surprise couldn’t hide the hotness.
+1
Also I would like to engage in a threesome with the two fat people from Ring of Terror. Threesome, of course, meaning “hey you two, let’s get something to eat!”
Is it bad that I found Linda Evans attractive?
Has to be the evil girls in The Violent Years. Quick, hard, and no guilt fun. :)
Hey, they made me do it. Of course, you’ll never hear the end of it from your
uptight girlfriend.
Then again, imagine getting a grateful Linda Evans on the rebound from Mitchell.
I’ve always had a definite crush on Bart Fargo from ‘Danger!! Death Ray.’ He definitely deserved better than that movie.
Well I would have to say Susan Hart even with her present day bitchiness toward MST3K and also Valeria. Her impaired communication skills are quite attractive.
Mr. B Natural. So I’m bi-sexual or something?
:rotfl:
It is when you consider that she slept with Mitchell. Ewwwww. :
And my list:
Sylva Koscina from the “Hercules” movies.
… Rowr!
Beverly Garland in “Gunslinger”
Ann-Margret in “Kitten With A Whip”
Mr. B Natural!
Beez McKeever as “Steffi” in “The Touch Of Satan”
She can hit me with a rolled up newspaper ANYDAY!!
Lisa Simone from “Giant Gila Monster”
Gotta love French chicks!
Tad Tadlock (the woman from “Design for Dreaming”)
… unfortunately, she’s a high maintenance date. :(
Mike Nelson as Captain Kathryn Janeway from “Star Trek – Voyager” in “Laserblast.”
… okay, maybe not. But you gotta admit, his Tina Turner was spot-on, and that made the whole thing sexy! :)
Ooops, forgot Gypsy!
Can’t forget Gypsy. She’s freakin’ awesome!
The dark haired villainess in Double 007 that is mistaken for an azalia. Although that isn’t necessarily embarrassing.
I have to second Allison Hayes. She is good in all her roles. I’m surprised no one has mentioned Beverly Garland, even the Brains loved her.
And I agree with Bookend, I’m a straight man, but even I admire Bart Fargo. And while I’m switch hitting, I’ll through out Tablorone. I think it was Mary Jo or maybe Bridget that had a thing for him.
Thanks for reminding me of “bathtub girl”
Bathtub Girl: “Aren’t you in the wrong room?”
Tom Servo: “I’ve never been in a righter room in my life!”
I respectfully mention that many of you are missing the point of this thread. It’s most embarrassing crush, not “pick out some gorgeous woman that any straight male with a pulse lusts after”.
With that said, I would have to agree with the vote for Cissie Cameron. Despite all the riffs about her pretending to be young, she had very cute dimples and a killer body.
There, I said it and I’d say it again if I had to.
EASY. Peaches :-D :-D from Racket Girls, and that hot young woman on “Robot Monster”
There are many actresses throughout the run of the show who are easy on the eye to one degree or another, including several that people have already mentioned (like the Leech Woman, Allison Hayes, and Kathy Ireland, etc.). To that list, I’ll add Marisa Mell (AKA Rembrandt-13 in Secret Agent Super Dragon and Diabolik’s girlfriend Eva Kant), Terri Treas (Troxartas’ wife in Deathstalker, and also a character in an episode of The Master AKA Master Ninja not shown on MST3K, interestingly enough), Ingrid Goude in Killer Shrews, Susanna Bequer (who played the ill-fated Lara in Pod People), Eva Vostok in Agent for H.A.R.M., France Nguyen in Codename Diamondhead, and more than one lesser character in Hellcats, Batwoman, and Operation Double 007.
Regardless, if I had a sort of “guilty” one (as that is the main point of the thread), I suppose it would be the bad Scrabble hand that is Emby Mellay. Hahahaha.
No question in my, uh, mind. Leigh Drake, in her terrycloth playsuit in Track of the Moon Beast. Yes, Leigh, I DO want something absorbed. Oh, my. I understand that there exists an R-rated version of Werewolf, with Adrianna Miles taking a shower or something, and one commenter on imdb says, basically, don’t bother tracking it down.
However, even the concept of an R-rated Track of the Moon Beast, perhaps with Ms. Drake getting caught in a sudden cloudburst, or falling into a sacred Indian reflecting pool hidden in a sandstone valley in the desert, makes me want to break out a Fieldcrest Egyptian Cotton Bath Sheet and rush to her rescue.
The brunette from Phantom Planet. Forget the goodeat and the bestest crap, my behinder would be staying put with that woman on my arm.
Embarrassing crush is a tricky category. Probably Paisley from “The Sidehackers” in that she’s an absolute disaster. But maybe she can change….
Also, less embarrassing, but still embarrassing because of where my mind goes, the scantily clad nymphs (i.e., “nymph loads”) in “Hercules Unchained” are pretty sweet. Lots of “bounce, behave” action, if you know what I mean.
My first thought too. “Coffee? I like coffee!”
But I just can’t imagine myself panting “Kevin” in the throes of passion…
Also from Skydivers, I gotta admit a strange fascination with the roller skater and amazon warrior in the party scene. If I have to put on a tam and kilt to get their attention, so be it.
Kathy Ireland from Alien From L.A because, well
The feme heroes from Angel’s Revenge
The female nogoodniks from Village of the Giants
Beverly Garland was very beautiful back in the day especially when she was under alien influence in It Conquered the World (probably the way she was lit,)
The doomed shopkeeper’s wife from “Attack of the Giant Leeches.”
The typical 80’s rocker girl/3rd wheel from “Pod People.”
The female heroine from Ouaw and…….
Mr b. Natural (even Joel said she was hot.).
Now, I must take leave: my cold shower Waits…
I agree with #26 RedZoneTuba, remember the question is embarrassing crush. To me that means something you’d be loathe to admit to your non-MST3K-fan friends and family. For example, I don’t really mind admitting that I had a crush on James Franciscus for years and years from his TV work, and he still looks fine in Marooned. But embarrassing? God help me — BartFargoBartFargoBartFargo.
@#9 Dr. Erickson, about the wife in Manos, have you seen her pictures from the HD restored version? Absolutely gorgeous in that breezy, low-key ’60s way. I don’t have a girl crush on her or anything, but wouldn’t mind looking like her.
Jimmy’s mom is hot!
Embarassing: Ev (Leslie Parrish) in The Giant Spider Invasion. Not bad looking, but you’d almost
certainly be taking advantage of her—especially if you brought over some liquor (she’d be
verrry grateful).
Sanctioned Crush: Lori Nelson from REVENGE OF THE CREATURE. She’s hot, she’s science-y, and I like her gowns, although it’s too bad she had to go the way of so many would-be strong female characters of that era and become a screaming damsel in distress.
Embarrassing Crushes: 1) The first blonde girl making out in ATTACK OF THE EYE CREATURES. She’s really cute, and I like her hair, but I feel weird liking her because of course she’s being spied on by the loathsome, oily soldiers, so I feel like a loathsome, oily soldier. 2) The girl giving Thayer a back rub in OPERATION DOUBLE 007. She looks very nice in those short shorts; I feel sexist admitting that, but it’s true!
I’m under an alias, because I am embarrassed admitting this!
The brainwashed scientist lady who plays the villain in Gamera vs. Zigra and the evil queen Lara from Outlaw.
I’m a leg man.
EDIT: Also have a friend who once admitted to liking the girl in the bar who gets pulled into the worms during the climax of Squirm.
One word, one word only: ROWSDOWER!
I hear you. I think she was the victim of bad makeup/wig and a role meant to portray her as 10 years younger (well, that and she’s doing exactly squat with her Doctorate as far as we can tell). She was not bad looking at all, horrendous dancing included.
Also, I remembered thinking the lead woman from Gamera Vs. Zigra was incredibly cute. Then I went back and realized she ran around in her undies for a lot of the movie. Forgive me.
I’d like to give a shout-out to the lady spies of MST3K:
Secret Agent Super Dragon: Marissa Mell as Rembrandt 13 and Margaret Lee as Comfort
Operation Kid Brother: Daniela Bianchi (an actual Bond Girl) as Maya and Kitty Swan as the lovely but un-credited lead hench-girl on the boat (thank you IMDB!)
Danger Death Ray: Delphi Mauro as Lucille
Code Name Diamond Head: France Nuyen as Tso-Tsing
Agent for H.A.R.M.: Barbara Bouchet as Ava Vestok
Lovely ladies all.
Zach from SOULTAKER. Totally Stamos-ing.
Valeria from ‘Robot Holocaust.’ every time she’s onscreen i really don’t get what people say about her inability to read a script, emote or pronounce words properly.
Forget those hot bodies, those hourglass figures, and those long legs. For me it has to be Jan In The Pan! Even her name says she is a dish!! — Jay
Alexander Phipps. He makes me feel… I dunno… squishy.
For me Lisa Foster (Mila) from “Cave Dwellers”. :inlove:
Honorable mentions: Margaret Lee “Secret Agent Super Dragon” and Gail Gilmore “Village of the Giants.”
Creepy girl, FTW.
Wow, I’m the first one to say Nastenka from Jack Frost? How is that the case? The guys even acknowledge she’s cute in a host segment!
And yeah, Kathy Ireland in Alien From L.A. Hard to not love a girl who is that pretty and that awkward.
I’m a little ashamed to name Nastya from Jack Frost as a crush: young, beautiful, and far too innocent – what’s not to love?
(No embarrassment about the alien cutie/pawn from Gamera vs Zigra, though – she was hot!)
The “embarrassing” part makes this a tough question for men, because it generally doesn’t embarrass us to say, “Hey, I don’t want her for her mind or her table manners.” So to be attracted and embarrassed about it, she’d have to be extremely stupid or offensive. No, stupider than Natalie in Werewolf; she just didn’t speak English.
Linda Evans isn’t a bad choice; you can tell she should be hot (and certainly was 10 years earlier in The Big Valley), but she’s acting stoned and rubbing up against Joe Don and looks like she already coated herself in baby oil to prepare for him, so it’s just wrong.
If anyone’s attracted to the skinny chick in Hobgoblins, that would certainly count. Any takers?