|
 |
Weekend Discussion Thread: Cage Match!Alert regular Timmy asks:
I think I’d like to see Eddie “Froggy” Deezen up against Rod Lauren from “The Crawling Hand.” I see an epic slap fight. What’s your pick? 90 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: Cage Match!”Commenting at Satellite News
We are determined to encourage thoughtful discussion, so please be respectful to others. We also provide an "Ignore" button ( Comments are closed. |
|
Satellite News is a fan site for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 television and Netflix series. It is an independent publication written and compiled by Chris Cornell (msampo@aol.com) and Brian Henry (erhardt4@aol.com). Satellite of Love, LLC does not maintain this web site, nor is it responsible for this site's content.
All content posted on Satellite News is copyright © 2024 by Chris Cornell and Brian Henry, except where otherwise noted. This Date in MSTory is written and compiled by Steve Finley, Chris Cornell and Brian Henry. Copyright © 2024 All rights reserved. Please do not reproduce This Date in MSTory items in any form without express written permission from the authors. Items of MST3K news may be duplicated or reposted, as long as Satellite News is cited as the source. The views and opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of Satellite of Love, LLC. No warranty is expressed or implied that the information given herein is completely accurate, and in fact this information can and will change at any time. So there. Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyrights and trademarks of Satellite of Love, LLC. Banner image created by Larry Lee Moniz. |
|
) to help our users cope with "trolls" and other commenters whom they find annoying. Go to our
Torgo vs. Ortega would be epic. Also Prince of Space vs. Thor from “Teenagers from Outer Space”.
Tor Johnson vs. Torgo
(the Tor Johnson character he plays in his movies, not his real-life wrestling persona)
I think it would have a lot of slow hug-like reaches, and shakey knees w/ cane action.
Torgo vs. Kurt from the Brain That Wouldn’t Die! Or, there could be a championship of mental combat between Jan in the Pan, the Space Children, the Thing that Wouldn’t Die, and professor Krasker. The only weapon allowed: Telekeenis!
What about:
Eddie Deezen vs. Mikey (from Teenage Strangler)
A lot of nasal taunts from Deezen, with Mikey just being his wimpy self, hoping he doesn’t get hit and his brother Jimmy saves him.
Hercules (Hercules vs. the Moon Men) vs. Hercules (Hercules Unchained). They could fight over who has the shortest skirt!
2nd idea: Everyone from “Circus on Ice” in a free for all against everyone in “Here Comes the Circus.” With a intermission for Emmett Kelly to keep eating.
Last but not least a cage match ‘kiss off’ between the necking couple in “Manos the Hands of Fate” and the necking couples in “Attack of the The Eye Creatures!” (Yes there were two “the’s”)
Can’t decide which is better, so I had to do all three!
How about a drunken brawl between Mike Pipper (the grizzled prospector from The Final Sacrifice) and Ortega frm TISCWSLABMUZ?
Determine once and for all who’s stench is more overpowering!
It’s three-times the carnage and three-times the excitement when the Steel Cage of Destruction is the scene for:
The Black Scorpion vs. the Deadly Mantis vs. the Spider from “Earth vs. the Spider”!
Next Friday night at War Memorial Arena! Tickets on sale now!
How about Mitchell vs. Rowsdower? Winner gets a keg of beer.
My first idea would be conceptual: Rock Climbing vs. Sandstorm! Both would dole out a heaping bowl-full of DEEEEEEP HURRRRRRTINGGGG!
Mikey from Teenage Strangler Vs. Troy from The Final Sacrifice in The Battle of the Weenies.
I want to see the US Military from Rocket Attack USA versus the US Military from Invasion USA. There would be lots of phone action and many conferences. And somehow the Russians would win.
The two punks who menace Ann Margaret in Kitten with a Whip versus the two commies who force Peggy Castle to jump out a skyscraper window in Invasion U.S.A. The winners get to play zombies in the next season of Walking Dead.
I wouldn’t mind seeing Caesar Romero kick Zack around for a while. Drink in one hand.
It’s a barbarian bloodbath as Ator faces Neo (Robot Holocaust). Special referee Tor Johnson.
It’s the dance of death as the kids from Party Beach square off against the kids from Catalina
It’s biker Armageddon as JC and the gang from side hackers challenge Fats and the gang from Wild Rebels
It’s the mut ants from This Island Earth faces off against the Giant Leaches.
It’s Diva demolition as The Violent Years gang face off against the Swamp diamond girls
It’s Puroseau Power as Space Chief faces off against Prince Of Space.
Lastly. It’s the Beat iOS bs. The Teen Age Crime Wave.
I watch way too much wrestling…..
Eddie Deezen (Laserblast) vs. Mikey (Teen-age Strangler) in a no holds barred match
to win possession of a borrowed bicycle.
Well, since Torgo is getting a lot of love, how about Sardonis (Final Sacrifice) vs The Master (Manos).
Aso, how about Dr Carlos Lombardi’s conjured up She-Creature vs the Madame Estella’s Mixed-Up Zombies?
The Screaming Skull’s Mickey versus Torgo.
WHO CAN OUTCREEP?
my first thought was Herc vs Mitchell! while it would be interesting to see if Herc could lift JDB over his head, i’m afraid the action would be brief due to heavy drinking and sleeping by both combatants.
also, i thought of the two nimrods who got loaded with Proxis in ‘Fire Maidens’ vs. Steve and Steve from ‘blood beast.’ great entertainment value as the camera follows them walking from their respective apartments, meeting up and engaging in long dull dialogue, stop by the gulp ‘n’ blow to get something to drink, unsuccessfully hit on some women by asking them if they think the beings on Jupiter’s moon look like them and then….
ok.. Chase from ‘Gila Monster’ vs Buffalo Bill from ‘Riding with Death.’ close match at first, the guitar as a weapon comes in to play some. finally, buffalo grabs chase’s favorite tire iron and takes out his lifting knee and Chase, being unable to stand or pose, is down. Buffalo sings a victory song while the cage keeps the rabid crowd from killing him.
The Killer Shrews vs. The Creeping Terror
No, bad shrews! Not on the carpet!
How about Watney “The Weasel” Smith from Outlaw taking on Lodac’s dragon from The Magic Sword? Of course, Watney wouldn’t last very long, but it would be oh, so, satisfying.
Tag team foodfight deathmatch- The two fat dudes from Future War vs. Mitchell and Rosdower. :beer: :pizza: :beer:
Obligatory deviant art link: http://futuredami.deviantart.com/gallery/30658167/Msties
Apropo to this discussion.
This one is for soup/stew fanatics:
Johnny Longbow’s famous ethnic stew vs. Fingol’s Mom’s chicken soup
A Russo/Finnish cage match between Pohjola, the witch from “The Day the Earth Froze” and Baba Yaga, the hunchback fairy from “Jack Frost”. The winner get the Sampo.
Have Lucinda from “The Touch of Satan” take on Army Boy Nick (Hobgoblins) in a steel cage. Various garden tools (pitchforks, rakes etc) will be attached on the walls of the cage and they can be used as weapons.
The Fire Maidens from Outer Space will take on the Brides of Manos in an evening gown cage match.
An inter-gender cage match between two dysfunctional married couples. In one corner will be the Hagroves from “Deadly Bees” and in the other the Talbots (“The Leech Woman”). The winning couple gets pineal extract served with the dog’s meat.
Bart Fargo from Danger!! Death Ray vs. Adam Chance from Agent from H.A.R.M. — who’s the smarmiest, baddest, secret agent? It’d be a close match until Bart lures Adam over the ropes and into the crowd. Olé!
John Anderson aka Captain Cliff Beef Pile from 12 to the Moon vs. Dave Ryder aka Blast Hardcheese from Space Mutiny
How about a steel cage triple threat match of all the Hercules’ Steve Reeves from Hercules vs Alan Steele from Moon Men vs Reg Park from Captive Women. The winner gets to claim the title of the one tru Herc
Slap Lambchaw VS MacPherson in Space Mutiny
Supposedly they were fighting each other but where were they in relation to each other?
Oh,hell, I don’t know…I’m not good at this :dazed: :dazed: :dazed: :dazed: :dazed: :dazed:
Tanya vs. Leslie in a Boggy Creek rematch. (That would certainly make Crow happy). Then, for the main event, Crenshaw vs. the Creature – which, I would argue, does adhere to the “monsters must fight monsters” rule.
The Great Vorelli vs. Dr Carlo Lombardi
Gamera vs. Godzilla
Teenage Werewolf vs. Wahrlwoof
Chicken Men of Krankor vs. The Neptune Men
The Old Guy from The Phantom Planet vs. the Old Guy from 12 to the Moon…
Oh, one more match-up that would be epic: Brain Guy’s brain vs. the Glowing Blob from Space Children! At the height of battle, an overhead door could open, raining Cheez-its down on both contestants!
Speaking of actors fighting themselves how about having Diabolik take on Kalgan? John Phillip Law vs. himself!
Dick Contino vs Critter, bashin’ each other on the head with guitars while the tune Critter is SUPPOSED to be lip syncing to plays in the background, during which time the giant faces of Michele and Dumb Locker Room Guy periodically phase in to offer words of encouragement.
How about Bobo vs Gaybar? Imagine the poo flingin’… :pain:
How about a Richard Kiel Death Match: Eegah vs. The Solarite from Phantom Planet? I think Eegah would kind of fit in the “monsters must fight monsters” stipulation.
Are you talking about awesome bad or incompetent bad? I’ll admit the latter seems more likely, but you never know.
I’d say Paul the Wurwelf vs. Michael Landon the Teenage Werewolf, but let’s face it: Landon wins that hands-down. So instead, it’s Paul the Wurwelf vs. ZAAT. Let the clumsy special effects begin!
How about Doctor Z as a fish vs. the fish in Touch of Satan (provided the fish is at home in the pond). You’re thinking Dr. Z would win
easily. Ha! What if the fish had sold its soul to Satan (or Stan) ? And the fish can always pipe in a few stanzas of Amazing Grace (no copyright)
to get Dr. Z off his game.
mr. b vs. the ‘Design for Dreaming’ psycho woman! wait! the bread delivery angle just popped in and all hell is breaking loose! boy the fighting is fierce ladies and gentlemen! wait… they’re not…fighting ….OH MY GOD!!
Prince of Space vs. Prossor from Warrior of the Lost World: “Your Megaweapon is useless against me!”
Nobody’s mentioning any shorts so here goes:
Johnny from “Johnny at the Fair” vs Tommy from “Appreciating Our Parents”, in a deathmatch to see who learned to love their parents more.
“Squishy” Judy vs “I wanna marry a man” Sue to see who’s more co-dependent.
Buzz from “Mr. B Natural” vs Buzz from “Girl in Gold Boots” just because.
The Minister from “Days of Our Years” vs the Cop from “Last Clear Chance” in a no-holds-barred depress-off.
The kids from “Uncle Jim’s Dairy Farm” vs the kids from “Jr Rodeo Daredevils”, whether it’s hayloft rope swingin’ or ropin’ cattle, it’s all the same to Mary Lou.
Wilbur the gay angel from “Once Upon a Honeymoon” vs Red the gay devil from “Out of This World”
Coily vs. Ben Franklin, to see who can haunt people better. No money! *whistles*
Puerto Rico vs. Venezuela
Zaat vs. Billy Duncan!
Two humans turned deranged beasts, one knows how to turn others in two its kind, the other can blast its enemy to smithereens.
Gunslinger’s Erica Page vs. Swamp Diamonds’ Lt. Lee Hampton. A cage match for the ages.
Bad bad, or bad bad bad? Wait, now my head hurts. Between Fargo and Chance (which by the way sounds like a great title for a book), I’d probably have to go with incompetent bad.
The women from ‘Terror Of Spider Island’ vs the women from ‘Angels Revenge’ in a bikini free-for-all.
Adam Chance from ‘Agent From H.A.R.M.’ vs Parnell Roberts from ‘San Francisco International’ in a smarm-off.
Tommy Kirk from ‘Catalina Caper’ vs Arch Hall Jr. from ‘Eegah!’ in a former teenage heart throb sad-off.
Kalgan vs. Krankor. The banter alone would be worth it.
Kalgan: *sinister laugh*
Krankor: “HAAAAH HAAAAH HAAAAH HAAAAH HAH!”
Kalgan: “You’re much more attractive with your MOUTH SHUT!”
*Krankor climbs up the side of the cage and does an “Air Krankor” onto Kalgan*
Krankor: “I’ve got you now, you scum!”
Kalgan: *struggling* “Meddling fool!”
Krankor: “This is the end for you!” (ya jerk!)
Kalgan: “I don’t feel a thing!”
Krankor: “You’ll be a horrible example for anyone who opposes me!”
Kalgan: “I do have one weakness… pain. Other peoples’!” *suddenly puts Krankor in a headlock*
Sidney Chillis (Daddy-O), covered with heaping handfuls of butter, vs. Crenshaw (Boggy Creek 2), covered in his own filth. The result would probably be two deaths by heart attack and several gallons of home made gravy.
I’ll keep it simple and easy to understand: Cleolanta and Batwoman.
I’ll be in my bunk.