Joel/Mike and the bots had to witness some outright sleazy characters in the movies they riffed; both hero and villain. So it’s time to discuss who the outright sleaziest character witnessed in an MST3K movie.
My vote is definitely J.C. of Sidehackers due to his nearly homoerotic obsession with Rommel and outright physical and emotional abuse of his girlfriend. And yet, people still follow him! Let’s not even discuss the portions cut from the MST3K version as well.
My pick has got to be Dr. Bill Cortner, the “hero” of “THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN’T DIE.” Few MSTed movie characters peg the squick needle as often as he does.
What’s your pick?
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I think the definition of sleaze is best represented by the father of our vapid dancer and proprietor of EAT from The Girl in Gold Boots. That man just oozes a lifetime of alcohol, abuse, and poor decisions, best summed up by Crow’s quip “Everything I touch turns to flies.”
Those are two primo sleezebags mentioned above. However, JC and that magnificent bastard Rommell did initially connect and seem to have much in common (the movie hints at a somewhat sleezy Rommel past), and JC was rather naive in being duped by his girlfriend about Rommel attacking her, so the nauseating doc wins that contest. The guy seems to have contempt for everyone as being inferior to him—including his father.
I’d also suggest Boris Karloff in The Bride Vanishes. Not the slightest compunction in whacking bride after bride to pump a few hours life into his incredibly unlikeable wife. And why is he so smitten with her?
I gotta go with the Master from Manos just because…you know…that ending. [shudder]
Buzz and Leo from Girl in Gold Boots and Gary from Horrors of Spider Island also come to mind.
The sheriff from It Lives by Night gets my vote. He seemed to ooze sleaze every time he was around Bat-guy’s wife. I’m surprised he could sit in the police car without sliding off the seat. Then, when Bat-guy was in the shop and covered his maybe transforming hand with the panties, the sheriff showed up with another dose of sleaze.
And the sheriff was played by Michael Pataki, who played JC! Coincidence? Read the book.
Lots to choose from for sure. I’ll nominate Dr Paul Talbot from THE LEECH WOMAN. He insults his wife and then sweet talks her into financing a safari while secretly planning on using her as his lab rat. While captured, he tries to talk her into sacrificing herself while he gets away with his million dollar plant. This guy is lower than a worm’s belly!
Runner up would be my boy friend Ross, of course.
Wow, this is going to be a big list LOL! My vote is for Arch Hall Sr. in Eegah! I guess if ya really wanted to split hairs, Arch Hall Jr. isn’t any less sleazy. The second slimiest choice would be Flagg, the zombie boyfriend in The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies.
Everybody in Hobgoblins. The definition of SLEAZY!
Lin Taylor in The Painted Hills.
Smacks around a preacher? – Check.
Kills kindly old prospector? – Check.
Tries to cheat little boy of his share of gold? – Check.
Tries to poison Lassie? – Check.
If the movie had been 15 minutes longer, he probably would have sold smallpox infected blankets to the Indian who cured Lassie.
And don’t forget those mascots of sleaziness, Torgo and Ortega!
Hell, their *entire movies* are sleazy. Definitively.
Dr. Z from blood water. Turning ladies in fishes.
One word: Mitchell.
@ #2: That was Bela Lugosi (plus the movie is The Corpse Vanishes). AFAICR Boris Karloff has never been in a movie featured on MST3K.
Dr. Brandon from I Was a Teenage Werewolf. I would say turning a patient into a killing machine while pretending to help him is pretty sleazy.
Whew, where to start?
Roy from General Hospital is pretty unsavory.
Mitchell, Torgo, the entire casts of Hobgoblins, ISCWSLABMUZ, and The Girl In Gold Boots, Gary from Spider Island (leg-crossing scene, anyone?), those two guys from Attack of the the Eye Creatures… You know the ones.
I gotta agree with Sitting Duck (#11) —
The Schlitz, the baby oil, the indiscriminate killing;
Sleeping with a hooker bought by a criminal lawyer;
Eating your other suspect out of house and home;
Either abandoning an innocent old lady in an undisclosed location,
or letting a hardened drug mule go scot free
(depending on how you interpret that part of the movie…);
But I think Joel summed it up best:
“Yeah, well where you come from, beer is an entree.”
Mitchell!
#11
Yep. I stand corrected. I imagine, though, that there may at least have been some reference, riff, etc.
about BK in some movie.
There are so many sleazy characters to choose from, but since I just re-watched Squirm, I will go with its most revolting specimens. 1st there is the philandering, butt-slapping sheriff, who threatens to arrest a kid for spilling his drink. Then there is creepy neighbor Roger (a.k.a. Wormface). Any character who gets a girl alone in a boat in order to give her a “surprise” deserves to be devoured by flesh-eating worms.
Lots of good suggestions being made here. I think at least a dishonorable mention should be made for the slut in “Skydivers” who gives sexual favors for a vial of acid so she can sabotage her ex-lover’s parachute.
Gloria Henderson from ‘Sinister Urge’. She’s a cold-blooded, cruel, merciless, homicidal pornographer with a voice that could cut glass. And yet She has a great sense of style and fashion. Go figure.
“Dirk? No, that can’t be Dirk. Uh-uh. No, that’s not Dirk. No.”
How ’bout the head boss-chick from Sinister Urge…she was bad preying on innocent women and killing her cohorts…can’t think of her name…but SHE WAS SLEAZY
Bill the “Charles Manson Jeweler” from “The Giant Spider Invasion” was sleazy. He begins his conversation with Dan by asking about Dan’s sister-in-law,Terry. He asks how that “Little tomato he’s raising” is doing and that she’s just about “ripe for picking”. :sick: When Dan says she’s “Turning bad” Bill says she “Needs a gentle hand……..like mine.” :sick: :sick:
I forgot Crenshaw from Boggy Creek II. Just…no.
If you had a bucket full of these or a barrel full of these, you’d be a fat cheesehead with a barrel full of these! love it
Wow. Thinking about this causes me to ponder the various favors of sleaze in cinema. As mentioned above, Mitchell, Gloria, and The Club Scum denizens are all vile in their own ways. I’m sure there’s a term paper in here somewhere…
But since we’re compiling the list, I’m gonna add those two drug wholesalers in Hellcats that keep the drugged out girl in their dilapidated cabin in the woods.
Let us not forget the illustrious sheriff of the bustling metropolis that is “Squirm’s” Fly Creek.
So many great sleazeballs have been taken already, though I don’t think anyone’s mentioned Dr. Carlo Lombardi. Enslaving and leching after a well-endowed carnival follower half his age while summoning her murderous prehistoric life in order to advance his career…. Hey, where I come from, we call that sleazy.
Initially, I was going to nominate Angelo from TERROR FROM THE YEAR 5000; however, Angelo ultimately redeems himself (“water under the bridge, Angelo”).
Thus, for sheer, pathetic sleaze, I will nominate Mrs. March and Dr. Frank from THE ATOMIC BRAIN. Together, they are a smorgasbord of icky (desperate and smug, respectively).
Wow, this thread makes me want to either take a shower or have an MST3K marathon. Great WDT suggestion.
There are sleazebuckets galore in the MST world, many of whom have already been mentioned. I’m going to have to go with the Master in “Manos.” Because…. little girls. **shudder**
But for a special “Isolated Instance of Sleaze,” I nominate Chunk McLargeHuge in “Space Mutiny” for setting fire to the disabled guy in a trough of methane gas. That was pretty low. I know they were shooting at each other but the fire seemed like cruel overkill.
Great list so far – I’ll add Charles Blake from I ACCUSE MY PARENTS, preying on poor young idiots like Jimmy by taking them to the Ground Round and sticking them with the bill, in order to trick them into a life of crime adjacency; and Eric from THE SCREAMING SKULL.
But for the sleaziest ever, I’d have to go with the sleazy Menacing W. Pervert from IT LIVES BY NIGHT.
#19, her name was Gloria.
I’m going out on a limb here, and nominating The Creeping Terror. It won’t even eat like a human being! And it frequently approaches its victims while they are in mid-bliss. It’s no question where the “Creeping” part comes from!
So much sleaze to choose from… In addition to the previous nominees, I’ll add the Paper Chase guy from WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD–his icky leering of Nastasia, he hits a woman and becomes a “hero” to the apocalyptic gang, and watching his make-out techniques is sure to induce vomiting. If only Mega-Weapon had been able to crush him as well…
Hmmm…. Good choices all around. I have a couple to throw into the ring (of eternal fire.)
1. The two soldiers from Attack of the (the) Eye Creatures. Lecherous counts as sleazy and those two voyeurs were about as bad as you could get….save for one..
2..and that one is Whatney from Outlaw (of Gor.) there was no other person who screamed Quagmire level of lecherous (without Glen’s success) as Whatney. Had it been the ’90s. He would have called himself the “Whataburger” or the “Whatanator'” I just know it.
3. Pretty much the villains from “Zombie Nightmare” were sleazy, particularly the lead Nogoodnik. Sleazy, evil and rock stupid is not a winning combo.
4. They were bit characters but any of the guys at the party in The Violent Years (save for the reporter who dropped off the kid.) I know, in reality, the girls were in ttheir 20’s but they were in high schools and those guys looked a little long in the tooth.
5. The evil poacher with the incredibly hot wife from “attack of the Giant Leeches.” Poaching is wrong and his general attitude toward his wife (not to mention his lack of effort to say her and her lover when attacked by said leeches) was terrible.
Many have excellently mentioned various (and even all the) characters from HOBGOBLINS; however, I can’t get the image of the leering, beer-swilling gatekeeper at Club Scum out of my mind. That actor put everything he had into that inconsequential but nightmare-inducing character.
So many sleazebags, so little time…
The “Great” Vorelli: Hypnotizing Marion/Maryanne (?) so he can have sex with her and eventually marry her and transfer her soul into a doll.
Griffin: “Ran all the way to hell…with a penny and a broken cigarette”. Nuff said.
Yuri: A violent psychopathic sleazeball constantly victimizing Natalie…probably too much hair dye, styling gels and the like.
Great topic!
Of course, the has to be Mitchell in this conversation. Oh, and the Icky Elf from GIRL IN GOLD BOOTS…Even thinking about him makes me want to take a shower.
Oh wow, I just remembered Dan and Ev Kester from ‘Giant Spider Invasion.’ Definitely a top contender for sleaziest couple!
The Great Vorelli and Dr. Carlo Lombardi are two characters that make me want to go into the movie and bludgeon them to death. That’s how sleazy they are.
Joining Fly Creek’s sheriff is the deputy “Are you ready for some football,” sheriff from Laserblast.
Honorable mention is the Matchmaker from Jack Frost. Her sole purpose is sell a girl’s parents on marrying a dopey and then getting a free dinner.
-The Master (Manos)
-Arch Hall Sr. in Eegah
-Ro-Man the Ro-Man (Robot Monster)
-Basically everyone in Gor (Outlaw of Gor)
-Any character played by Joe Don Baker
-Any character played by Coleman Francis
-Coleman Francis himself
Actually, this could probably take a while…
The squished skydiver from Skydiver.
Gloria Henderson from The Sinister Urge….I wonder what weird-ass get-up she’s gonna have on now. You could shave with her voice!
Most of the good ones are already taken, but how about Pitch The Devil from SANTA CLAUS? He is, after all, not just Satan but also gleefully torments sweet little Lupita by reminding her she’ll ever, ever have a dolly unless she turns to a life of crime.
Oh, and then there’s the commander from PROJECT MOONBASE who threatens to spank the female commander for being uppity. Actually, that whole movie’s pretty… ick… But still, he sets the tone, more or less.
Let’s not forget Archibald Williams Hall AKA Nicholas Merriwether AKA William Waters AKA Arch Hall, Sr. At least wait til the camera’s not rolling to leer at the girl playing your daughter, whom you’re paying to make out with your son.
There’s a lurid, John Waters-style movie waiting to be made about the production of Eegah, Wild Guitar, and Incredibly Strange Creatures.
The Great Vorelli from ‘Devil Doll’. To quote Tom from that episode “Oh ick, ick, ick, ick, ick!”
Oh, and so many people from ‘The Sinister Urge’.
My vote goes to the elderly woman in “Soultaker” who ogles her daughter in the shower.
@31: The hot wife in Leeches treated him horribly and was an unfaithful slut to boot. I’m on his side, SHE’S the sleaze.
I didn’t realize there were so many great sleazeball characters in MST3K movies! I still have to go with Torgo, he had a genuine, natural sleazyness that stays with you long after the movie is over.
John Carradine’s character in The Unearthly is very similar to Bela Lugosi’s character in The Corpse Vanishes. They both have no guilt about murdering beautiful young women for their own misguided purposes. Except I don’t think John Carradine got around to testing the sausage link gland on his assistant, although that was the plan, to keep her young and beautiful. Equally sleazy men I think.
Jeez, man, that’s a tough call… MSTied movies are a veritable buffet of sleaze.
J.C. is a good one for sure, but against Dr. Cortner, I’d have to give the edge to Cortner as he puts up such a good front as someone who’s not outwardly sleazy at first glance.
Some other faves of mine:
Dr. Paul Talbot in Leech Woman. His whole motivation in the context of the story is to make big money making women young-ish again. He was ready to ditch his wife in a hostile native village in the middle of nowhere in Africa, promising her that he and the foppish guide would come back for her. Yeah, that’ll happen. Bastard got his, though… “So long, mincing man-pig character! You were enjoyed!” -Michael J. Nelson
Deathstalker in Deathstalker And The Warriors From Hell. Yeah, I know he’s the hero. Big damn deal. He was still sleazy, oily, smarmy and entirely unlikeable. I actually thought the titular Warriors From Hell were more likeable even before their souls were released from the jars that Troxartis kept hermetically sealed on Funk & Wagnall’s porch.
The Evil Ranch Hand in The Thing That Couldn’t Die. “There’s a dark, oily stain on my pillow!”
Butcher Benton’s Lawyer in The Indestructible Man. While he wasn’t technically the main villain, Butcher Benton was Francis Of Assisi compared to that friggin’ lawyer.
You mean Phil, Nurse Jessie’s philandering doctor husband, don’t you? A sleazebucket for sure, but what a nice skull. “How could you not love a skull like this?” -Crow T. Robot
Tell me about it. Tell me ALL ABOUT IT.
The actual hobgoblins are the only characters who approach anything even remotely resembling likeability. That oughta tell you something right there.
I just now got finished watching that one. I can agree on Gloria as a character, but her fashion sense? No, uh-uh. No. The toilet-paper cozy outfit? The Blue Earth Sugar Queen dress? Get outta here.
Cripes, man, Katy Perry has a better sense of style than her.