For this weekend: Is there a holiday movie that you think really deserves riffing? My pick: The 1973 remake of “Miracle on 34th Street” with David Hartman and Sebastian Cabot. Bleah.
What’s your pick?
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Weekend Discussion Thread: Christmas Movies that SHOULD Be RiffedFirst of all, sorry for completely spacing and forgetting to post a discussion thread last weekend. My bad.
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Too right, 1st – possibly.
I suggest “The Mothman Prophecies,” not only because it reeks of plotless acting on toast, but because it is indeed a Christmas movie.
To recap: A strange Man who looks like a Moth, but from another dimension, so it’s okay, is interfering in Cindy Crawford’s ex-husband’s affairs. Lines about gift giving and the spirit of the season get tossed around, a bridge collapses on Christmas Eve (or close to that, been a while since I’ve seen it); and even though it’s “kind of” based on real events, nothing says Christmas like a cold, frigid watery death.
went to IMDB and looked up Christmas keywords
One that DEFINITELY should be riffed is Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure. I actually watched this, if only I could UNwatch it. Dorm Daze is another one, but there are too many confusing plotlines in it. Mixed Nuts was OK, but also could be better riffed. I love the Muppets, but they have gone downhill, especially in terms of voice acting. The last two movies/specials could be riffed, It’s A Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (Whoopi Goldberg as God?, NOOOOOO!) and Letters To Santa that aired this past Wednesday, (Scooter’s voice is a terrible offence). Little Women popped up alot under Christmas keyword, and having seen the one with Winona Ryder, there is plenty of references for it. (Beetlejuice, My So Called Life, and more now that I know more about Christian Bale, Eric Stoltz, Claire Danes and Susan Sura..suran…however you spell her last name)
Santa Claus: The Movie. I haven’t seen it in years, but even as I kid, I knew it was a ripe slice of hell.
I’m sure one of the Santa Clause sequels would rank. I haven’t bothered to watch any of them, but they seem worthy just on principle.
missed two of them: The Ref with Denis Leary and Jack Frost (1996) the serial killer snowman, not to be confused with Jack Frost (1998) with Micheal Keaton (that one was a family movie)
How about that movie where Goldberg is the killer Santa Claus?
“Santa…?”
I’ve come up with quite a few that could work well:
– “The Homecoming: A Christmas Story” – This is the TV movie from the 1970s that turned into the long-running series “The Waltons”.
– “House Without A Christmas Tree” – In which a crotchety old man rediscovers the true meaning of Christmas.
– “Year Without A Santa Claus” – animated film which shows what happens when Santa finally comes down with seasonal depression– er, I mean a cold.
– “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town!” – Okay, I’ve never seen this one and have no idea what it’s about, but it was made in the Phillippines in the early 80’s…
– “Olive, The Other Reindeer” – This one just boggles my mind… I think it’s the animation style that makes my eyes bleed.
– “The Man In The Santa Claus Suit” – A film from the late 70’s in which three crotchety old men learn the true meaning of Christmas… from Fred Astaire.
– “The Hebrew Hammer” – Yeah, it’s actually about Hanukkah more than Christmas, but it really was so terrible it was funny at points.
– “Prancer” – In which crotchety Sam Elliott learns the true meaning of Christmas.
– “Stalking Santa” – It’s a mockumentary… narrated by William Shatner. ‘Nuff said.
Babes In Toyland – the definitive version starring Drew Barrymore, Keanu Reeves and Richard Mulligan.
I’am surprised there is no mention of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny yet. I should also add that it’s co directed by the guy who did Rocket Attack USA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLKEGAbkpyo
Not that it’s necessarily a bad movie, but I think they’d have fun with A Very Brady Christmas.
“The Christmas Shoes” with Rob Lowe. Truly dreadful, sanctimonious crap.
The Santa Clause 3 movie was dreadful.
There are any number of Lifetime made for TV chickflicks that could work as well.
John Carradine’s Xmas horror flick “Silent Night, Bloody Night”. BORING!
@ Crocket…
My GOD, man! What have you done?!
That God-awful remake of The Grinch staring Satan himself.
That’s easy.
“Die Hard 2.”
I’ve never seen “The Christmas Shoes”, but I have heard the awful song on which the movie is based. “Santa Claus: The Movie” is a good choice, but the stuff with just Santa at the North Pole is still pretty cool. The movie has some obscene product placement of Coca-Cola [Not “dirty” obscene, just blatantly obvious so as to cause shame.]
“The Night They Saved Christmas”, starring Jaclyn Smith and Art Carney as Santa Claus. The North Pole has to be saved from nearby oil drilling. Art Carney plays pretty crank Santa.
Any of those Hallmark Channel original movies. There is one where Steve Guttenburg plays Santa and he trying to look for a Mrs. Claus and then there is another one called Grandpa for Christmas that has Ernest Borgnine in it.
It would not hurt my feelings if they riffed the awful Grinch movie and I think The Polar Express is a pretty ripe slice of hell. To think now, these turds are considered holiday classics.
Polar Express! That’s the movie I was thinking of yesterday. I had thought Polar Express would be a good movie to riff, but just now I couldn’t remember it.
Jim Carrey’s Grinch movie needs to be buried at the center of the Earth.
I don’t know if they’d be allowed to see it due to copyright infringement; but for a short they might like to watch ‘The Star Wars Christmas Holiday special.’ I once heard Dr. Forrester and Dr. Earhart were forced to watch ‘A Planet ofthe Apeas Christmas’ inCrow’s fantasy over and over again.
Happily that really doesn’t seem to exist. But the Star Wars one sadly does; and it would deliver the same amount of pain.
#19
ChrisKeef, there is a version of the “Star Wars Christmas Special” that has been riffed– you should head over to Rifftrax.com and look there…. you might find something in that stocking!
the Star Wars Xmas special has been riffed of course.
those awful awful tim allen santa clause movies.
or the number one holiday classic box office smash hit jingle all the way!
Two words: Die Hard
Reply to #6 – I have actually seen “Stalking Santa” and it’s not all that bad. Probably 3 1/2 stars out of 5. And Shatner only has a voiceover; he’s never on screen.
There’s a movie called, “Once Upon a Christmas”. I’ve never seen it but it stars Kathy Ireland. :shock:
And a sequel called “Twice Upon a Christmas.” :shock: :shock:
Well its not a movie per se, but Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer can be included. I know its got a cult following but really, misfit toys, am elf who wants to be a dentist, Burl Ives hover skating around as a snowman, riff city. And frosty the snowman, I mean how cheap and non animated is that one? And who hasn’t riffed a Charlie Brown Christmas? Weird neck dancing, dog germs, a dead Christmas tree? Arrgh!
Even though I liked it, Gremlins might make pretty make pretty good riff fare. It took place during Christmas, had Santa being attacked by demons. Gremlins 2 however should be riffed because it was a stinky stocking stuffed with rotten oranges. But despite my attempt at a Christmas-themed metaphor, Gremlins 2 was not a Christmas movie.
#17
then there is another one called Grandpa for Christmas that has Ernest Borgnine in it.
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That isn’t a terrible movie. The trouble is you
keep thinking of Merlin’s Shop Of Mystical Wonders and the riffs of EB and his grandson.
Re: #5
That would be Santa’s Slay, which was intentionally made to be that bad. I have gotten some unique insight into this holiday favorite of mine as a co-worker is best friends with the writer/director.
I’m of the opinion that movies that are made to be humorous on their own, should not be riffed so this one is out. However someone did mention Jack Frost, and I totally agree with that one. Nothing like a movie where a kid makes his dad cookies with anti-freeze in them so he won’t get cold.
I’d agree with ‘Jingle All The Way’, but mightn’t that one be a tad too easy? You could just throw in random lines from any other Ahnuld movie when all else failed. Conversely, I can’t hear him ask for Sarah Connor in Terminator without adding, “And za Turboman!”
And although it’s my second fav Rankin Bass Christmas special after the original Rudolph, I’d love to see some of the ex-Brains tackle TRNRs final stop-motion outing, “Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July”. At 90 minutes long, they tried to combine all their previous specials into one cohesive mythology, wherein we learn that Rudolph’s nose is the last of the goddess Lady Boreal’s power, keeping at bay the evil of King Winterbolt, his disturbing Ice Genie, and his sleigh pulled by flying reignsnakes. I love it because it’s such an epic, convoluded mess, but that also makes it prime riffing fodder.
To me there is no worse holiday movie than the 1992 remake of Christmas in Connectict. The quirky 1945 comedy starring Barbara Stanwyck, Dennis Morgan and Sydney Greenstreet has been replaced by a mind numbingly awful Dyan Cannon, Kris Kristofferson and Richard Roundtree. This turkey even has the honor of being directed by none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger.
If you have any Christmas spirit left in your heart at all, for the love of all that is sacred and holy, do not watch that Santa and Ice cream Bunny thing up there. You have been warned.
All I Want For Christmas. Those kids are seriously evil.
They’re not Christmas movies per se, but I’ll bet they’d have some great stuff to say about the Home Alone films, too.
Elves with Dan Haggarty is truly the worst x-mas oriented movie ever made. One of the last Gremlins rip-off flicks made and it had such a cheap worthless puppet it’s awesomely bad. Even worse than the ones in Hobgoblins. No joke. Dan haggarty basically just chases around a frozen faced evil elf (there is only one not numerous as the title would insinuate) around a department store. I plan on reviewing it prior to x-mas on my web page.
I know a perfect one.
A Smokey Mountain Christmas, starring Lee Majors and Dolly Parton.
I did watch Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny recently. Wow, is it awful. One of the worst movies ever. I wonder if they could make something of it. I guess I’m thinking of CT but MST as well…
Of the above I think it’s safe to say anything with Lee Majors in it is riffable.
Silent Night, Deadly Night 2. It has some of the worst acting known to the cosmos in it.
Also, White Christmas with Bing Crosby. I know it’s a classic but IMO, it’s boring and Bing can’t act his way out of a paper bag. Plus, think of all the good Gary Crosby abuse jokes we could have!
Santa With Muscles. Hulk Hogan in the title role. ‘Nuff said.
Not convinced? Check out this trailer!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmPgWz85Us0
ERNEST SAVES CHRISTMAS!!!
Any 1970s variety show Christmas special. Sonny and Cher, Donny and Marie, Captain and Tenille, Tony Orlando and Dawn, etc. Doesn’t matter who, any one of these will hurt. Hurt REALLY bad.
I agree with “The Night They Saved Christmas.”
Polar Express is more than a good candidate, MikeK. It looks like Santa’s Nuremburg rally.
And of course, the worst thing you can possibly be in the universe of this film is a skeptic, a doubter…
Did anyone mention Elf with the incredibly hammy and over the top assassin performance from one Mr. Will Ferrell?
I was just flipping through the channels when I came across a movie on the family channel called Christmas in Wonderland. I has bad kids doing bad acting and creepy computer animated elves. Most importantly it has Patrick Swayze. You can’t get anymore festive than that.
Now we can all have a Patrick Swayze Christmas
The original question was about holiday movies, but someone has already mentioned the Star Wars Holiday Fest-O-Rama, which was technically a TV show, and others have already mentioned holiday TV episodes that could be riffed. So I will continue to stretch the rules with these suggestions.
For starters, I’d say the GI Joe Christmas episode, Cobra Claws are Coming to Town, looks ripe for mockery.
Or for something a tad more depressing, how about Queen Elizabeth’s Christmas broadcast from 1957? A dreary holiday message about an empire’s fading traditions; and Ghana.
You win, Crocket! Santa Clause and the Ice Cream Bunny made my head explode.
What about the horrendous re-make of “It’s a Wonderful Life” with “That Girl” Marlo Thomas what a piece of crap.
I just saw a movie from 1966 called “The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t”. It’s meant for kids and just OK, but there’s a good amount of riffing material there.
I remember during ConventioCon II someone asked when the Brains would riff on a “good movie”. In response, Mike said he wasn’t sure how many laughs they’d get out of “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Immediately, someone on the panel (it may have been Kevin) started yelling, “Jump! Jump!”
Actually, you probably could get some mileage out of it. Or, at the very least, any of the 24,000 sit-com adaptations of the movie.
I am not really fond of mostChristmas movies.
But, I would say the Peanuts Christmas could easily be riffed. We are brainwashed into believing it is good.
I would like to see a Rowsdower Christmas. Are you with me?