But oh my yes (said in my best little old Wisconsin lady church voice), it’s time for the church or community annual summer picnic and potluck, For example…
That salad bar courtesy of “The Truck Farmer” looks so good. But should that nice Mr. Rowsdower have brought so much beer?
And you can also invite the host segment characters or cast members: I’m sure Mary Jo would bring her tater tot hot dish, the food of Her people. What would yours be like?
I THINK you should think twice about having some of those funny-lookin’ blue sammiches Bobo brought, the ones he said plenty of mayoNAISE.
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Well, the shorts could provide lots of fried chicken (but not until tomorrow), and of course What to Do on a Date will bring ice cream and Cokes (which is good, because you know that brat from Gamera vs. Zigra will start whining for a Coke first thing).
Johnny Longbone will be bringing his stew, with onions, corn…peppers….He doesn’t know how to fix anything else, so take a little to make him feel better, and just pretend to like it.
You can bring lots of Vermont maple syrup.
Hell, they’re giving the stuff away.
And maybe some nice 1950s diner sammiches (and cokes).
Oh, and for some reason I keep getting a craving for CARNATION ICE CREAM.
DarkGrandmaofDeath has the winner with Johnny Longbone.
I would invite the Potato girl from Deathstalker. She’s Ore-Ida!
The Great Vorelli brought plenty of ham, but he won’t let anybody have any…
And Emmett Kelly didn’t bring anything. He just stands around, eating and looking sad.
well i called ‘Torgo’s Catering’ but it took like 8 hours instead of the advertised 2. at least the food was still pretty warm…..
Someone please stop Jimmy’s parents from “I Accuse My Parents.” Every single year, they bring nothin’ but booze and more booze. Don’t let ’em bribe you with a big five-dollar bill, either!
Melissa’s going to bring walnuts from the family’s walnut ranch, as soon as they get done rounding them all up and branding them with tiny little brands.
The titular Cave Dwellers will bring plenty of human hearts, nice and rare. And if they run out, they can always get some more by sacrificing some of the more obnoxious guests.
Mike with bring his own original bbq sauce, now EXTRA BOLD!
Jack Perkins crashes the party. He’s angry he and Mr. B Natural broke up.
You know, it’s nice that those two cute aliens from “Gamera vs. Guiron” brought donuts and milk. But those little kid brains just didn’t agree with people for some reason.
Kitten con Whip- Catsup
Worm Face- Gummi Worms
Ortega- Punch
Hercules- Grappa
Critter- 10 Hershey bars
Deadly Bees- Honey
Sam Casey- Turkey
Buffalo Bill- Buffalo Chips
Sometimes you are surprised who shows up to a picnic when you invite the whole community. For instance, did you see those albino guys with the funny outfits? They brought baskets of mushrooms; I never thought of raw mushrooms as a side dish before.
I had heard so much talk about Johnny Longbone’s green chile stew, so I tried some. Eh, it’s not that special; my wife’s green chile stew is FAR better!
Well, I could go for something from Uncle Jim’s Dairy Farm. I would also love some potatoes from Jack Frost (preferably baked) since potatoes are what we eat. additionally, since the fish are ready, Ator could bring some trout (or salmon.) We could have some honey glazed ham from the finest killer bees. For dessert, some ice cream from the Twist-N-Creme, even though the local “tough” teens hang out there when they are not running from zombies. I would stay away from Neo’s avocado casserole, I heard it had a finger in it.
Well, lets see…
Mrs. Heintz was walking around with a bag of chips, telling everyone that they were getting too thin.
Old Cliff Weismeyer brought some delicious frog legs.
Dr. Langer (a.k.a. Della Street) brought tea she brewed in her chemistry lab. (On a side note, why did her observatory have a chemistry lab in the first place?)
And lastly, Professor Neon brought plenty of good hot soup, but I wouldn’t recommend it.
Me, I’m heading straight for Tim’s booth, where – as always – he’ll be shirtless and serving up his famous baloney sandwiches and beans. For dessert I want several heaping bowls of Brain Guy’s nutritious food pills. And I hear instead of coffee this year, Coleman is bringing his Magic Bottomless Dipper of Water. Finish the whole thing and you get your face rubbed in Coleman’s crotch! Look for the booth with the sleeping Mexican.
i’ll have some of those powdermilk biscuits, the ones in the big blue box. Good heavens, they’re tasty.
Happy Chef from “I Accuse My Parents” would grill up some of his world class hamburger sammiches with all the trimmings.
Old Timer Billy Slater will be bringing some Junior Rodeo Daredevils, smothered in gravy, Texas style.
Also, the Delta Knights want everyone to know THEY’RE COOOMIIIIIIING and that they will be bringing all the turkey legs you can stand.
Uh, everybody, um, I didn’t invite them, but the super intelligent ants from PHASE IV showed up to the picnic…
:eek:
I’ve just finished baking the turkey at 200 degrees for an hour and rubbing it with a turtle – let me check with Thong to see if the fish is ready… I should mention to Devil Doll that we’re having ham, though – I think he’s got some kinda food allergy or something.
Dave Ryder will be bringing the Crunch Buttsteak and the Blast Hardcheese.
I brought a Mexican seven-layer dip, just about the most wonderful appetizer I’ve ever had to pleasure to put in my mouth.
Frank Chapman will be bringing some of the food from “The Phantom Planet”. It’s similar to our breadfruit.
Merlin Olsen will bring soup…..but not enough for everybody.
Dr. Vornoff will bring smoked octopus.
Dr. Ted Nelson was going to bring crackers but he burned his hand (AGKA!) while cooking.
Yata and Ryota will bring a freshly boiled giant lobster c/o Godzilla.
The Sheriff from “The Giant Spider Invasion” will bring pudding.
I dispatched Genius to the lake to find some ducks and feed them the goo that makes them grow. Getting ready to roast as we speak.
Hi! I didn’t have time to fix anything myself, so I stopped off at The Fair and picked up an extra-large bag of Fried Ape Hair! Enjoy!
The Selling Wizard brought a selling wizard of her own: an Anheiser-Busch freezer full of Ed McMahon’s Budweiser ice cream! Hey-oooo!
Bobo was going to bring Observer brain to the table, but that was all kinds of wrong, so that was stopped.
Speaking of wrong, the Forresters were going to stage a “bumfight” between Torgo and Ortega, but that entertainment was replaced with Torgo and Tor Johnson doing an Abbott & Costello type routine based on their names.
Just Cambot and me, perched on the Empire State building, sharing expired tins of green slime, waiting for the end of the world.
I open a tin, allowing it to breathe like a fine wine.
“You know, Cambot, this is where KISS had that famous photo shoot and Gene was tempted to throw Ace over the edge.
Here, let me rub some of this slime onto your lens. Check that out. Nice soft focus. It looks like we’re in dream or flashback mode.
You’re so quiet, Cambot. I love that about you.
Hey, this stuff tastes like lime. Oh now I get it: The Green Lime. I don’t know how I missed that before. Hahaha. What a picnic.
You know, we’ve been waiting for the end of the world for like two hours. Maybe we should pack it in and go to the official church picnic. I still have fifteen tins of never before aired green slime to share.”
No matter what, you know Ortega will be catering.
And the Jungle Goddess will bring a hamburger sammich. Joel can bring the hamdingers.
From The Giant Spider Invasion. The Lions Clubs medium rare chicken, Free range and beer fed! Basted with sun brewed mayonnaise!!
For some reason Dutch (Giant Spider Invasion) got a great deal on some steak from
Bev and her hubby so it’s barbecue ribs (with Cowboy Mike’s Red Hot Ricochet Barbecue
Sauce—Extra BOLD). Followed by giant spider pudding and beer for everyone while
they watch the PACKERS!
I’ve heard Nick, Kay, Jeff and the gang are merging weenies with those of “our” Ethel Mertz! I’ve also heard a rumor about a triple-pronged flyover involving Cal, Exeter and Bob Dornan. (Make room for cargo loads of de-tassled corn and save a spot for ‘my brother, George’!!)
Coily will bring his famous Chicken and Waffles, with the chicken sliced to the width of one electron. And he made plenty of waffles for everyone!
I’d stay away from Mrs. Forrester’s Turkey dishes after what happened last year.
The scientist played by Peter Graves in The Beginning of the End brought some nice giant vegetables, but unfortunately some ants had gotten into his radioactive super grow formula, and well…
The Russian troika cast brings the following:
Louhi the witch from ‘The Day The Earth Froze’ has grain, salt and barbecued moose.
Sinbad from ‘The Magic Voyage Of Sinbad’ has golden fish.
Baba Yaga from ‘Jack Frost’ has Yankee Bean Soup.(?)
Outlaw features their famous Buffalo Wing Shots.
The grouchy cook from “EAT” (Girl in Gold Boots) can bring his special sauce while belching on Hamm’s beer. Then everyone can ride dune buggies all week for $15 an hour and throw hard candy at people.
Village of the Giants had it best:
Giant barbequed ducks,cheese cubes, Coke, and maybe some Goo for the lucky ladies (yes, I meant that just like it sounded).
The cast of LASERBLAST brought a box of Wheat-a-Bix, horse-knuckle sandwiches, a bag of Mama Burgers, a hot tamale, 2 bottles of Coke, a giant sheet cake, and of course, plenty of “wacky tabacky” (it don’t cost nothin’–they get it from those kids).
David Janssen, following his trip to the Superdome, brought some of Ernie’s famous catfish from New Orleans. It looked really good, but Barry Morse cuffed him and hauled him away before he could get it to the table.
The Crawling Hand could bring some finger food and knuckle sandwiches.
The Creeping Terror is bringing a fruit jello any time now….
Any time now…..
Aaaaaany time now…..
ZZzzzzz….
@ #13: You also might want to avoid the chocolate milk and macaroons.
The professor and students form Boggy Creek could bring bologna sandwiches and pork and beans. Just look out if Crenshaw and the creature show up, could be trouble.
Oh yeah, the Nelsons from The Incredible Melting Man were going to bring crackers, but well you know…..
Sheriff Geronimo’s over there peeling oranges in the style of his ancestors, the Cabbage ‘Paches.
Mike Pipper brought some moose lip omelettes and his trail mix made of rat droppings and hair.
I’d stay away from the new Crow’s Tobacco Juice brand pop. It’s not very good.
But hey, the Novacorp technicians from “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank” are here! Who wants to get fat on flav-o-fives?
Some scientists showed up, insisting on bringing lots of sodium for the food. They brought way too much, and had to be turned away. Plus, there was already enough salt.
I’m sure Ator would be happy to bring a portable microwave he built out of fish bones and bird feathers. Great for heating up any hearts that get cold (now it really is a Heart video).
Someone really needs to explain to the space chicks from Gamera v. Guiron what brain food means. Nobody but the Zombie Nightmare zombie wanted any of what they brought.
The protagonists from Last of the Wild were bringing a big spread, but they dropped it on the way.
The Beast of Yucca Flats was bringing Lunchables, but they got nuked in transport. Probably by those nuke-happy idiots from King Dinosaur who more than overcooked their dino burgers.
The Future War cyborgs brought their own explosion-cooked dinosaur steaks in boxes. Lots of boxes.
The Brain that wouldn’t die brought herself in a pan and begged to die until someone put the Thing that Couldn’t die next to her and they really hit it off.
The revelers from The Skydivers brought a meatloaf with hardly any bits of parachute in it.
The Fire Maidens of Outer Space brought grilled Mime and drugged wine for knocking out any old people that might prevent them from going on dates with any cute guys. We’re not sure who it’s going to be this year, but when the Fire Maidens show up someone always gets tied up. Tee Hee, those girls.