In “The Girl in Lovers’ Lane,” Dr. F envisions Evil Event Days at baseball games, where the team gives away harmful and/or humiliating products to spectators.
Let’s imagine some baseball team, somewhere, major or minor-league, decides to have a MSTie Night. What would you like to receive as a giveaway? A Joel Robinson bobblehead? Crow’s wire mother to the first 1,500 kids 12 and under? A cap with the Deep 13 logo?
Anyways, as we enter the home stretch of the regular season, I thought that might be a topical conversation-starter.
I would say promotions based on the MSTed movies are also in bounds, such as maybe a guest appearance of the pickle monster from “It Conquered the World,” who would do battle against the regular mascot.
What would bring YOU to the ballpark? (Let’s assume this is a minor league team, where almost anything goes.)
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Dr. Forrester/Trace throwing out the first pitch and a Torgo bobbleknees.
I would take Torgo to a River Cats game in Sacramento. Once in Raley’s Field the organist would recognize us and start playing Torgo’s theme song until he finally sits down. The promo give away would be giant foam hands, of course.
How abut Gamera day at the Ball Park? Kids get a pet baby turtle “Tibby” with admission and later a flyover of the Ball Park by Gamera himself!
We could also have a MST3K “Sing a long” Night. Instead of the Organ Player, regaling us with favorites like “Take Me Out To the Ball Park,” he regales us with “Clown in the Sky” or “Where Oh Werewolf.” Sheets with Lyrics will be handed out with admission and the fans can sing along to their favorite Mystie Song. What will be the fan favorite? “Godzilla Genealogy Bop,” “Sing the Praises of Pants,” Or that ever favorite, “Hike your Pants Up.” Wait until the 9th Inning so when the fans ask how was their singing, the Announcer can say “It STINKS!”
Zap Rowsdower could cash in making appearances at hockey games.
Something simple… I would love to see the double-sided “Forrester/TV’s Frank” pennants from the Cave Dwellers (Robotic Arm Wrestling) invention exchange given out to an entire stadium.
I was just watching “Skydivers” and the answer is obvious: Coffee!
I’d be there for ‘Space Children’ Night. Every fan through the gate gets a foam-rubber glowing blob, while every lucky 100th fan gets a pot roast. Between innings, six fat guys are selected to participate in a Jackie Coogan fashion show, and the winner gets to keep his gauzy baby-doll nightie. Post-game fireworks show climaxes with the launching of the Thunderer (or not). You’ll cheer till you have total paralysis of the throat muscles.
Revenge of the Creature night- where he gets to show off his rising fastball- prizes include: A complete collection of Tim Finn CD’s.
Zombie Nightmare night, featuring the Jon Mikl Thor Bobblehead.
For the home opener, the first 1,500 fans get the first piece of Johnny LongTorso (how about the Action Batch?). For each home game thereafter, fans get the next piece of the figure. And, for the last regular home game, then and only then do fans get the assembly instructions. If they reach the play-offs, fans get one piece of the LongTorsoMobile at each game.
I’ll let you know if I come up with anything else…
1. The mystical magical catfish from (He’s not)Sinbad showing up at the Carolina Mudcats game to magically talk to people(as long someone has there hand in him)
2. the evil cat from Jack Frost could be at the Ft. Worth Cats game to make a guest appearance. Maybe beguile a few of the opposing players and cause them to stumble over Jack’s woefully and stupidly misplaced scepter thereby freezing them for an eternity or at least until the game is over and a fey Finnish AH HA! doofus kisses them.
3. the Beast of Yucca flats tossing out the first pitch at an Albuquerque Isotopes game. natch’.
4. Rowzdower could shoot Troy out of a cannon every time the Calgary Cannons hit a home run. don’t forget the beer eh?
5. and speaking of the Finnish doofus, while still a bear, he could earn some scratch doing time as mascot for the Fresno Grizzlies.
7. Towque fwom Wobot Howlecost could visit the Hickory Crawdads and Lakewood BlueClaws.
8. the Killer Leeches, the Creature, Dr.Z She Creature could play a charity game against the Vermont Lake Monsters.
yeah, yeah i’m done…
Wikipedia is a wonderfully horrible thing.
Since Albuquerque is currently going through its love affair with the locally-made series Breaking Bad, I’d like to see a promotion featuring the locally-made MSTed movie, Track of the Moon Beast. The promotional giveaway would be 5000 ceremonial masks, with which the fans can scream like politically-incorrect natives at random times throughout the game. In addition, half-off drink prices would be offered to ladies wearing terry-cloth or crocheted outfits with short shorts. A life-size Paul/moon beast would battle the Isotopes’ mascot Orbit during the game. Instead of the usual red chile/green chile race between innings (a la the Sausage race in Milwaukee), this race could feature ingredients from Johnny Longbow’s stew – chicken (full chicken or just a giant drumstick), corn (cob), onion (whole), and the green chile pepper. And, of course, the sing-along song in the 8th inning would be “California Lady”, with optional choice of lyrics (original or “gravy on my meat”). After the game, the finishing touch would be a fireworks show featuring the burning of the Paul/moon beast costume.
@11 – The Beast from Yucca Flats appearance would be more appropriate at a Las Vegas 51’s game. The concessionaires could even offer free sauteed mushrooms for burgers that night.
Given the Phillies are so icky this year, liven things up with a
Washington Nationals type mascot race:
Tom Servo, Crow, Gypsy, and Cambot in one semi-final heat. I’d like to add
Magic Voice but how do you personalize a voice? :)
Dr. F., Pearl, TV’s Frank, Brain Guy, and Professor Bobo in the other.
Predicted final 4: Gypsy, Crow (trips up Tom to come in second)
Pearl and Dr. F. (uses Frank’s blood to get a jolt for the stretch run).
Final: Art edges out Pearl. But Pearl declares she wins anyway.
Oh, and the ballpark is Reading, the Phillies AA affiliate.
A nice, old-time ballpark. Cozier then the AAA club in
Allentown-Bethlehem.
And Art wins the final, although pearl grabs the microphone and declares she won anyway.
They’d give out little Trumpy dolls. At the stretch, the crowd could all sing “Idiot Control Now” concluding with, of course, “It Stinks!”
But I really would like to get some deep 13 gear like a ball cap or T-shirt with the Logo.
Or possibly a H.E.L.P.I.N.G.C.H.I.L.D.R.E.N.T.H.R.O.U.G.H.R.E.S.E.A.R.C.H.A.N.D.D.E.V.E.L.O.P.M.E.N.T. T-Shirt.
#17
To be given away in pairs. Say several 10XL shirts worn together
(like, I’m With Stupid). Together with an explanation on the
backs of the meaning of the acronym.
Every single thing that commenters are coming up with is better than what’s at our local minor-league baseball games, where they have been using the same tired promotions, music, and sound effects for over ten years. To really liven things up, I suggest:
— In place of having children race the mascot around the bases, have small children race “The Creeping Terror”! If they would helpfully crawl in its mouth, that would be OK too.
— Have a “Railing Kills” contest, in which fans plummet off the party deck. Most creative railing dive wins the prize of a workout session with Chunk McLargeHuge.
— Let’s not forget a “Beer Night” promotion, where fans dressed like Rowsdower, Troy, or the evil cult henchmen get discount beer, eh?
How about a free Johnny Long-Torso doll to the first 5,000 kids through the turnstiles? He would be dressed in the team’s uniform, of course. But, as Dr. F would want it, arms, legs, ears, eyeball, hands and feet would be extra.
#10, I wish I could like yours 1000 times.
Also, let’s have a Stew Night with “Chicken, corn, peppers, chili, onions . . . ”
Also, let’s have our fans remember that baseball is still just a game, and to keep them from learning that too late and remind them what’s really important in life. Have the announcer tell the fans as they are leaving:
We learned, almost too late, that man is a feeling creature and, because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned, too late for himself, that men have to make their own way, to make their own mistakes. There can’t be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And, when men seek such perfection, they find there’s only death, fire, loss, disillusionment, the end of everything that’s gone forward. Men have always sought an end to toil and misery. It can’t be given; it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from man himself.”
DAAAA DAAA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
How ’bout a baseball (designed like the MST spaghetti ball logo!) w/ all of the cast’ and/or characters signatures on it?
Or, they could do one of those scoreboard karaoke things with the crowd, using one / all of the versions of the MST theme song…
A Time Chasers time machine, so I could go back in time and NOT be at a baseball game, lol. @ Fart Bargo Go River Cats!
First let me say, Best. Discussion. Ever.
Sorry, but I can’t do minor league right now. Thursday is Dragoncon night at the Atlanta Braves/Cleveland Indians game and I gotta go with that major league ballpark on that night. Anyone dressed in a costume gets to be in a pre-game parade around the field. *STOKED* Then the events between innings will be geared to Geek stuff. And a special Dragoncon guest will be throwing out the first ball.
So, give me a minute and I’ll post again, on my imagined MST3K night at a ballgame.
definitely receive at the gate, a BobbleHead of Joel “Robinson” as the brains behind the fun. But the little kiddies wouldn’t receive them. Only people over the age of 15 can really appreciate it.
Pregame ceremonies would be a montage on the Big Screen of highlights of MSTie moments, to include clips of the fist and last shows where Josh, Frank, Joel, Mike, Trace, Bill, and Mary Jo first appeared on or left the show.
Kevin, via satellite, would get to sing the 7th inning stretch song in honor of his being on the show, well practically forever.
Bill Corbett, already in Atlanta for Dragoncon, would throw out the first pitch.
Don Sutton, one of the Braves’ radio announcers, uses his best Gypsy voice to introduce the teams.
Race at the top of the fourth inning between contestants Torgo and The Creeping Terror.
When the ground crew comes out to smooth the field in the 5th inning, they are all wearing MSTie related tee shirts. The rakes are shaped like Crows legs and the white powder which marks the lines is shaken out of a replica of Tom Servo’s head.
The crown votes by applause in the 6th inning as to which song they want to hear: Creepy Girl, Patrick Swayze Christmas, or the Theme Song to Mystery Science Theatre 3000.
Have a 10 cent beer night, invite Captain Joe, Mitchell and that beer guzzling guy from ‘Devil Fish’ and watch the chaos begin.
Three words: Tor Johnson Bobblehead. It has as much personality as the real thing!!!
Instead of a 7th inning stretch, everyone is invited to the infield for a Pile-on Pete style pile-on!
Free Gamera rides for the kids!
A Deep 13 baseball cap?! Why have I never thought of that? You can get custom patches put on hats… excuse me folks, I have a new project to get started.
“Poopie day? What, are you gonna give the kids poop?”
How about a free giveaway of Little Richard’s “Scuba Party” single from Catalina Caper? Then everyone can look hopped up on goofballs.
In the spirit of halftime “YOU CAN WIN” contests: If you can throw 10 empty beer cans in the back of a pickup from the drivers side window, you win a date with Zap Rowsdower.
Free pink jeans from the Pink Jeans Company of Progress Island, U.S.A.
Hey Robot Rump, got anything clever for my local Single-A team – and defending NY-Penn League Champion – Hudson Valley Renegades? I’m drawing a blank. Their mascot is Rookie the Racoon, which makes perfect sense to me since that time two of the furry little burglars broke into my house. I was wishing I had a souvenir baseball bat lying around…
How about commemorative Escape 2000 t-shirts for those schmucks who leave Yankee games during the seventh inning stretch? LEAVE THE BRONX!
In a word……buttchucks.
How about the first 500 kids receive their very own Unhappy Meal complements of Clay and Lar’s Flesh Barn and funded by Frank?
or..
The first 1000 people get their own poopie suits sponsored by the U.S. Air Force.
A Sampo Night will bring in the right ones who “get it” Get what? Who knows. That’s the fun of it.
A night where the first 1000 people receive a copy of the lost Mylar short would do it for me, although I would turn right around and go watch the short at home!
GO ISOTOPES !
It Lives by Night BAT night. First 800 people receive a stick that looks nothing like a baseball bat.
“Food vender! Sir! Sir…yes. I’ll take 2 Gamera Delight Meat pies, a slice of Torgo’s Famous, 3 extra large Squirm fries, a 64oz Mitchell Beer, and 2 Incredible Melting Mmmmilkshakes!”
Well, of course Lobo would sing the National Anthem: “Oh say, can see by dawn’s earl light…”
Then during halftime, The Manos Women’s Guild would re-enact the Battle of Pearl Harbor.
At the concession stand, deep-fried monkey-hair, of course, or a hamburger sammich with a fried fried potatoes garnish…
But the best part would be Torgo running the bases…
A Barugon letter-opener giveaway.
Devil Fish Fry. First six kids get one of those gigantic teeth.
5 for 1 Hard Liquor drink night. Brought to you by the Booze Council. Booze – always a good choice!
I’d like them to give out Fantoozlers. You get to keep the glass! (Bonus: I can find out what the heck a Fantoozler is.)
And I’d also like them to give out cups of Coocol Butter. (Bonus: see above.)
The Wisconsin Timber Rattlers, single-A affiliate of the Milwaukee Brewers, present “EEGAH Night!”
The first 2,000 fans get a choice of an Eegah Club or a bobblehead of Mr. Miller that says “Watch out for snakes!”
Any seven-foot neanderthals get in absolutely free.
Some “lucky” random fans can get their faces surgically altered to look like Arch Hall Jr.
And finally, a post-game concert featuring the greatest hits of Arch Hall Jr. (all three of them)
I just want to see Frank’s dream of Poopie Night come true.
this may have been done before, but based on this topic and the previous ‘spin off’ topic, i was wondering about this:
what would be some alternate occupations for some of the MST’d heroes and villains? if your working at ACME temps in downtown Des Moines and Mr. B walks in looking for work what do you suggest? just a thought.
The first 15,000 through the gate receive DEEP HURTING.
Go Cubs!
My aversion to sitting through any sporting event is such that I’d have to make it Red Zone Cuba night and give everyone a penny and a busted cigarette. Sorry if that’s too negative for a good thread, but I gotta’ be honest.
Or a Time of the Apes day could start with one lucky kindergartener hitting a tee ball off Servo’s head. The announcer would occasionally assure us that, “Nothing will happen suddenly,” throughout.
Baseball Glove Night giveaway – Bright yellow leather Crow look alike – his eyes are inked into the palm of the glove to evoke a face. You can use the glove as a puppet while watching the game.
No longer a mere murder of crows… it’s a whole stadium of Crows.
Forklift Night! Anyone with gerbil cheeks and a vinyl jumpsuit gets free beer and a forklift. Herb Albert and the Tiajauna Brass play the music. The forklift driver with the most attempted murders (successful or otherwise) gets their own spaceship to fly drunk and crash. Not much of a sports fan myself in case you can’t tell, but it would make for good TV.
#34
“Wild Rebel” bobble-heads?
also the whole gang could come out and autograph boxes of ‘Wild Rebels’ cereal, Fats could do P/A for the game. then later on they could incapacitate the guard watching the gate money and head out for for their climatic shoot out with the local police.
I was thinking Ator could glide in and throw out the first pitch.