Well, we’ll start with alert regular Jenny:
There are TON of Christmas movies on TV and movies that are asking for MST3k treatment. (Oh David Hasslehoff you shall be mocked in that sweater.) Which ones do you think need to be riffed and which on do you riff your self? I would love the crew do “Jingle all way”, ” 8 crazy nights” and “Jack Frost” (both the killer snowman one and Michale Kenon one). As for ones I’ve riffed with my friends, well, we used do the Stars War Holiday Special (but then everyone did it). Now its the Power Rangers Christmas and the He-Man Christmas special and Jack Frost (the killer snowman one). What about you?
And alert regular “SittingDuck” adds:
If MST3K had featured more Christmas episodes, what movies do you think would have been worthy of their treatment? My pick would be the 1984 TV movie “The Night They Saved Christmas,” in which Santa’s operation is being endangered by oil drilling (real subtle :P).
I forget what I said last time and I am too lazy to look it up but the ridiculous-but-toe-tapping Bing Crosby-Danny Kaye vehicle “White Christmas” is a yearly favorite and oh so riffable (starting with the way Danny’s shoes always match his suit. Oy).
What are your suggestions?
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Well, I have to look at the Star Wars Christmas Spcial as A-1. Babes in Toyland is another that I would nominate as fodder as well as Jingle All The Way. The movie adaptation of the Grinch Who Stole Christmas was petty lousy. Actually, just take any of the Lifetime Movie Christmas specials and mix and match those.
I finally saw Santa Claus The Movie 2 years ago when I found it on DVD. Every time I watch it, I keep thinking up riffs for it. It gets my vote.
I say anything that’s currently on HallMark Channel. Also, that horrible Tim Allen movie “The Santa Clause.” I did find that funny back then (before I knew what I was doing), but it would have been PERFECT for MST3K. The real Santa dies and then Tim Allen’s character becomes the new Santa. :-P Talk about a pain parade!
My vote would be “Christmas in Connecticut”. The one directed by Arnold Schwarzenegger and starring Dyan Cannon and Kris Kristofferson.
In a perfect world, the guys at Rifftrax or Cinematic Titanic would take on Silent Night Deadly Night part 2. Granted, it’s R-Rated and full of nudity and violence, but it is such a laughably ridiculous movie that I’d hope they’d take the risk and just make it a restricted-VOD title.
But, for the family Christmas title, my money is on one of three Canadian titles:
1) The Man Who Saved Christmas – Jason Alexander as a toy inventor who moves into arms manufacture in WW I.
2) The Christmas Martian – A 1971 Quebec film about an alien who lands in small town Quebec, exciting the kids and scaring the adults. I remember seeing this one in theatres, believe it or not, but I’ll be damned if I can remember specifics.
3) A Cosmic Christmas – A CBC TV special, it was the first production from the Nelvana Animation Studio.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to one and all!
Oh dear God, White Christmas! How I remember that one (no matter how much I wish otherwise).
This may be a controversial pick for some, but I’d like to add It’s a Wonderful Life. The only reason it’s considered a classic is because TV stations across the nation kept showing it every Christmas after it went public domain. And as Cracked has pointed out, it turns out Mr. Potter really won.
There are so many television Christmas specials that they could do, but I would love to see them go after “The Christmas Shoes.” This would give them the opportunity to go dark the way they did with so many of the shorts that they did. I can just imagine what they would do with the scene of the boy running home with the pair of shoes: “She should love these if she isn’t dead yet.” (Of course, their comments would be much funnier than that.)
I’ve got two specials (both rather old, but are
standard holiday viewing here):
1) Rich Little’s Christmas Carol—Yes, a humorous takeoff
on its own of Chuck D.’s work, but would be interesting to
see Mike/Joel, etc. riff on it (and by now some of the characters
in it are somewhat obscure to some—Nixon and Watergate, Peter
Falk’s Columbo as the ghost of Christmas Past, etc.).
2) The Upstairs Downstairs Christmas episode,
where Georgina talks Daisy (a maid) into visiting her East End
family, not a good move. (1970s series—before Downton Abbey there was!)
Well, Rifftrax already did Casablanca, so they aren’t afraid of a classic. Personally i prefer off-brand subjects. It’s a Wonderful Life is a classic for many, many reasons beyond it’s public domain status. It’s not just a Christmas movie.
Anyway, my choice would be “Jingle all the way”, with Arnold Schwarzenegger trying to find the sold-out action figure for his son.
I disagree with the (granted many- perhaps most) who say It’s a Wonderful Life is not a
Christmas movie. The setting is winter (and obviously takes place during
the holiday season—minus flashbacks) but more to the point the atmosphere
and theme of the movie is essentially Christmas Carolly, with redemption
from in Scrooge’s case bitterness and George’s despair, and both ending in
a holiday “happy ending.” Oh, and in both cases “angelic” intervention
the key motivation for redemption of the heroes.
A Very Brady Christmas. Need I say more?
#6 (Sitting Duck)
At ConventioCon II, during a Q&A, a fan asked when the show would start riffing on good movies. Mike answered that he wasn’t sure how many laughs they’d get out of “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Immediately, Kevin and (I believe) Paul started with, “Jump! Jump!”, followed by Mike begging Mr. Gower not to hit his sore ear. So, maybe it’s not so controversial, after all. (And about Potter “winning”, check out the “lost” ending.)
As for my choices, there’s “The Christmas that Almost Wasn’t”. Back when I was much younger, it’d get trotted out as a kiddie mantinee in local theaters during the Holiday season. It’s about how, somehow, Christmas is stopped when Santa is evicted from his workshop. It’s OK for kids, but there’s riffing fodder there.
I suppose you could also try “March of the Wooden Soldiers”, where the jokes mainly focus on how Stan & Ollie are the real heroes (not the utterly lame Tom Tom) and how, well…dim the people of Toyland are.
The 1964 Rudolph, the Red-Nose Reindeer TV special seems like the perfect candidate for treatment. With so many Christmas movies coming out every year it would be way too easy to choose something unremarkable. Rudolph holds up just as well as the Charlie Brown special without any of the emotional factors to get in the way, and with so much harmless camp to it it almost begs for a fun loving riffing the whole family can enjoy. It’d be great to have it replace the new tradition of watching the Star Wars holiday special every year, as that one, even with a great riff-track, still ends up diminishing nostalgia for all the things good and beautiful.
ck–Personally i always watch “The Thin Man” at Christmas, as it is set in Xmas 1934, but is not by any definition a “Christmas movie.”
Might I suggest any one of the Rankin/Bass Christmas specials…(I know that Mike has already done NESTOR,THE LONG EARED CHRISTMAS DONKEY)…but any one of the would be perfect riffing fodder…and between you and me, most of what I have seen from those special might as well have come out of the mind of someone who was really, really stoned.
Picking up on #15–
I’d go for “The Little Drummer Boy,” since I have always detested the song, and the TV special actually creeped me out when I was a kid. I’d add to that “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” I never saw it when I was younger, but I caught it on TV a few years ago, and I agree that there was definitely something other than Marlboros being smoked in the writing room when that one was put together.
They can also take on any of the Tim Allen “Santa Clause” movies (Number 3 was eye-meltingly awful) and any one of those specials where a curmudgeonly old man and and/or a curmudgeonly old woman learn the true meaning of Christmas. They’re out there, and they are legion.
Oh, yeah. And “Frosty Returns” or “Return of Frosty” or whatever the hell it was called. Worst. Christmas sequel. Ever.
About It’s A Wonderful Life: It would definitely be riffable, but it would be a long slog because that thing is UNCONSCIONABLY AND GRATUITOUSLY ABOUT 45 MINUTES TOO LONG. I have always maintained a judicious editor could cut 45 minutes and you would miss nothing and it would be a better movie.
And “Sitting Duck” is right: Mr. Potter is the real winner when all is said and done. Anybody see that hilarious sketch on SNL where they presented the supposed “lost” last scene of the movie, where the party at George Bailey’s house suddenly realizes Potter is to blame, turns into a mob and storms Potter’s office (Potter was played by Jon Lovitz) and lynch him? Very funny stuff.
“White Christmas” would get my vote. There could be at least a hundred riffs about how Bing Crosby is old enough to be the father of most of his co-stars (which would also lead to some edgy jokes about beating one’s children, as the Bingster was alleged to do). Also, that painful remake of “A Christmas Carol” that starred Susan Lucci, called “Ebbie.” And let’s not forget some of the old Andy Williams TV Christmas specials, with those shrill Osmond Brothers.
White Christmas is indeed a hokey mess of a movie, with plenty of long close ups of Bing and Rosemary Clooney ogling each other. icky.
I’d also vote for the early 70’s tv version of Miracle on 34th St, with Roddy McDowell (again!), David Hartman and Sebastian Cabot as the guy in the red suit. A sappy, wide-lapelled tribute to the original.
I would love to see riffs on the ‘Ice Age’ and Flintstones’ Christmas specials. Okay, yeah, I get that they’re cartoons, but it drives me nuts that they’re celebrating Christmas thousands of years before Jesus was born (putting aside how schmaltzy and brain-melting they are as supposed “entertainment,” for children, no less). Dang, the Mayans had nothing on Hanna-Barbera for seeing into the future.
“Pinnochio’s Christmas” is really bad. Great riffing fodder there.
There is also “Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July.” AWFUL. I never did understand that Christmas in July thing. July has to be the unChristmasy month ever. Hot! Chestnuts roasting on an open fire? Nah! Let’s go to the Beach!
“Jack Frost.” Not to be confused with either the Russo-Finish Co production, the serial killing movie, or the Michael Keaton one. Rankin Bass did to an hour long “Jack Frost” and it’s pretty bad. Have at it!
Last but not Least: “The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus” which turns the story of Santa Claus into some pagan nightmare. St. Nick is rolling in his grave. And yes, there WAS an actual St. Nicholas. http://www.stnicholascenter.org/pages/who-is-st-nicholas/
Speaking of tv movie remakes and It’s a wonderful Life…instead of the original which for whatever reason IS a beloved classic…it wouldn’t get my vote for riffing… I would rather suggest the tv movie remake of It’s a Wonderful Life with Marlo Thomas and Wayne Rogers called “It Happened One Christmas.” The roles were reversed and Thomas played the lead, Mary Bailey and Rogers played her spouse George Hatch. Compared to the original this version was pretty dull and the acting was very lifeless…as if they were sleepwalking through their roles.
#22 @maclen
Your suggestion reminded me one of my favourite blogs covered that special, plus several others, in a couple of recent articles. Retrospace is a very enjoyable little blog that covers the highs (and lows) of the culture of yesteryear. He posted two articles on Christmas TV specials, so I thought I’d share them with you folks.
Here’s part 1: http://my-retrospace.blogspot.ca/2012/12/the-boob-tube-34-christmas-specials.html
And part 2: http://my-retrospace.blogspot.ca/2012/12/the-boob-tube-35-christmas-specials.html
I highly recommend rummaging through his archive. He’s got lots of lovely things to look at. :-)
I’d like to see them tackle the all but forgotten ‘A Family Circus Christmas’. The strip its based on is almost universally disliked so a riff of this special would be a delight to all.
“Silent Night, Bloody Night” with Patrick O’Neal (the poor man’s Peter Lawford), Mary Woronov and John Carradine. Or, “A Grandpa for Christmas” starring Ernest Borgnine!
Oh God, The Christmas Shoes. That can’t be riffed, because that means having to actually WATCH The Christmas Shoes.
Like was mentioned up above, pretty much anything that’s running on the Hallmark Channels right now. Most of them are romantic comedies.
I’ve got one, any movie titled “Babes in Toyland” or “March of the Wooden Soldiers.”
I’m currently watching an Australian film called “Bush Christmas” on TCM. Weird 1940’s sort of western-theme with a group of kids tangling with a group of outback outlaws. Bizarre little thing.
Ran across a DVD collection of SONNY AND CHER Christmas Specials recently and they’re disturbingly fascinating in that hokey, 70’s variety show way. Try to imagine a medley of Christmas songs combining the talents of Sonny, Cher, Chastity (Who’s little more than a toddler), Bob ‘Captain Kangaroo’ Keeshan (Who’s famously unmusical) and Shields and Yarnell (Who are mimes). Perhaps the most… interesting was the last one. Okay, to fill you in: Sonny and Cher, after years of presenting themselves as a blissfully happy couple, had split up. Cher had charged Sonny with ‘involuntary servitude,’ charging he’d acted as a Svengali, completely dominating her life onstage and off, and tried to brainwash her into thinking she had to stay with him or America would hate her. Both did their own seperate variety shows, neither doing so well. The tabloids were having a field day over their bitter, nasty, hostile divorce. So of course they reunited for another season of their show. Not as a married couple, just working together. ‘Awkward’ does not even begin to describe it.
Or how about A DIVA’S CHRISTMAS CAROL?
#23 Canucklehead
Thanks great stuff, cool vintage stuff, great blog.
“A Grampa for Christmas” starring Ernest Borgnine gets my vote. Every sappy element is there, which makes it perfect. And there are several scenes of old man driving – can’t park close enough, sudden stops, etc. to add to the fun.
In the musical realm there’s the “Neil Diamond Christmas Special” from 1991. If you love Neil it sums up why. If you hate Neil it also sums up why.
One more I forgot to list – Skinflint: A Country Christmas Carol. All the country stars of the late 70s got together to do their take of “A Christmas Carol” (along with the likes of Martha Raye). To quote Dr. F – “pure 70s, pure pain”.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0326163/
The 1984 made-for-tv version of The Christmas Carol starring George C. Scott and David Warner.
#30 Captn Ross Hagen
I love his blog. So much there to marvel at. It’s amazing we managed to survive the 70s. :-)
“Santa with Muscles”…Hulk Hogan…’nuff said!
Any of those Christmas specials the major networks would put out where Webster and/or punky Brewster would be lost around new York city and run into stars from all the network’s shows in cameos.
I nominate the Keanu Reeves and Drew Barrymore version of Babes in Toyland,but not the original with comedy legends Laurel and Hardy.I’m a big fan of theirs and even though it may not be perfect,at least it was far more entertaining than this one…http://www.badmovies.org/movies/babestoyland/.. Weren’t there those Christmas movies with Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers that were pretty bad??
#33: If it must be done, then it should be a project for Cinematic Titanic. Then we can once again hear Trace’s glorious impression of George C. Scott’s Patton.
#37: There is A Smoky Mountain Christmas, starring Dolly Parton and Lee Majors. Bo Hopkins also makes an appearance as the sheriff and he’s pals with a wicked witch who’s out to destroy Dolly Parton’s character.
how about the 1970 something “classic” The Day They Saved Christmas, I remember this film from way back, it featured magic hot chocolate and all weather Christmas sweaters. if I remember right, the plot centered around the premise that drilling for oil in Antarctica was gonna blow up Santa.
very lame movie perfect riff fodder.
#36 – you mean like this one? This has both Punky and the Cosby Kids.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKR8S6XkAww
Ayyy! An American Christmas Carol, late 70’s tv movie with Henry Winkler as Scrooge in an early 20th century industrial town. Favorite moment: A black employee of his, seen in his present period, later appears as the Ghost of Christmas future, all decked out in late 70’s disco threads. Boogie down!
I second the watching The Thin Man at Christmas and the 1st sequel follows as a New Year’s movie. I would love to see the first two Die Hards, Lethal Weapon, Batman Returns, and Gremlins riffed as the Christmas movies that they are.
Oh and for good measure, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service works well too: happens during Christmas, no Sean, Avengers and Kojak references flowing… Just a thought.
Granted it’s a “comedy”, but A Christmas Story 2 is begging for a Rifftrax. This is the 2011 DTV sequel, not any of the prior at-least-decent attempts. The fact that at one point we see teenage Ralphie humping a mannequin is enough to tell you the makers were homaging the wrong Bob Clark movie.
Over in the Episode Guide for Santa Claus I linked to a recap of three shorts – Santa Claus & His Helpers, Santa’s Enchanted Village, and Santa’s Magic Kingdom – which use clips from that and some (presumably) new scenes (except for the last, which is all “new”). The new clips add in Puss n’ Boots (No, Antonio, don’t!), Skunky Skunk, a wolf, a princess, an ogre (not the amusing-but-overstayed-his-welcome green one), and a puppet show. I swear there’s some stuff from Santa Claus & the Ice Cream Bunny in there too. Oh, and Santa is into munitions manufacturing now. Any of them look like perfect accompaniment to another Christmas MST experiment or some good Rifftrax fodder.
“A Garfield Christmas”……it may be the one that makes the old crew run out of the theatre and accept the vacuum. :)
Definitely the Drew Barrymore/Keanu Reeves version of Babes in Toyland. It’s not without its charms (well, nostalgia goggles, maybe), but man, oh man, is it goofy as hell and loaded with low production values. And Richard Mulligan in a hat that could rival Jack Palance’s from “Outlaw.”
@39: Er, that’d be “The Night They Saved Christmas” from 1984, mentioned in the original post.
@42: My friends and I actually just rewatched “Red” (also with Bruce Willis), which takes place at Christmas.
@43: Wow, that’s the first I’ve heard of a direct sequel to A Christmas Story, and now I wish I hadn’t heard of it.
Going further on It’s a Wonderful Life, it could be argued that the ultimate source of George Bailey’s misery is not Mr. Potter but Mary Bailey. Think about it.
Put me down for A Very Brady Christmas as well
The He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special is pretty good, too
This Is An Open Letter To Cinematic Titanic And/Or Rifftrax:
There is a thirty minute TV special called the Spirit of Christmas that was produced in 1966 by Bell Telephone (When it was THE TELEPHONE COMPANY)
The show used very lame marionettes to act out the poem “T’was The Night Before Christmas” and a rendition of The Nativity.
Please could either of you consider this for your next live Christmas show?
A humble request from a big fan.
Thank you and Merry Christmas.
I think the only way I could get past the first five minutes of “It’s A Wonderful Life” is with MST3K’s help. The most boring thing ever filmed.
just because you have Jimmy Stewart and Frank Capra involved doesn’t mean it’s a classic.
Wow,
this such a great list!!
Personally, I’d nominate any variety and/or talk show TAPED in front of a studio audience.
On the variety front, anything with Lawrence Welk playing weekends on PBS. All you have to do is mute the audio and left the riffing begin, especially with “Bobby and Sissy… mmm, mmm, mmm;”
On the talk front, I seem to remember a very special holiday-themed “Geraldo!”