Let’s talk about the movie titles. Specifically how well they reflect the content of the film. Sometimes the title actually has something to do with the film. Other times not so much. My pick for a most appropriate title would be “Bloodlust!” As a review of the episode I once read noted, there is blood (what with all the human hunting), and there is lust (what with Balleau intending to keep Betty and Jean as his own mini-harem). As for a least appropriate title, I would go with “The Dead Talk Back.” As Mike and the Bots noted when they started to leave the theater at the end, the dead never talked back (what with the whole thing being a load of fakery).
The titles that always bother me are “Stranded in Space” and “Space Travelers.” Neither one accurately describes the movie in question, and much better describes the other one.
Your thoughts on titles?
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Monster A Go Go- No monster, no go go.
Bad Titles:
Pod People — it’s not about pods, it’s not about people; it’s all about hurting.
The Golden Voyage of Sinbad, for obvious reasons.
Future War — a minor skirmish in the present doesn’t really fit the bill.
Cave Dwellers, again, for obvious reasons.
Good Titles:
Well, that about sums it up.
I’d say Mitchell, the whole movie and we never once meet… oh! Never mind. ;-)
Well, the Crawling Eye outdid itself. Not just “a”
crawling eye but lots of them.
Btw, for a steel cage match how about one of the Crawling Eyes
vs. Futurama’s Nixon’s Head (and Headless Agnew).
Well have to chime in again with more BAD titles:
King Dinosaur- ah…there were small reptiles.
It Conquered the World- well, maybe a small town and a ham radio.
Earth vs. Spider- well, maybe 40 plus teenagers vs. Spider
Warrior of the Lost World- No Warrior, no lost world
Red Zone Cuba- A black and white movie filmed by Lake Mead
Best Title- The Crawling Hand- it really did crawl.
I’d say 3 out of 4 of the russo-finnish quartet.
The Day the Earth Froze (Sampo): While the Earth DID freeze, it was hardly the driving force of the plot (and pretty sure more than a day).
The Magic Voyage of Sinbad (Sanko, I think): “HE’S NOT SINBAD!”
The Sword and the Dragon (Ilya Morumets, forgive any misspelling): So-so on the Sword, virtually non-existent Dragon; comes at the end, dies very quickly (Sounds nastier than I meant it :laugh: ).
Well, “The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies” is, on its own, a great title. But, as an accurate title for the movie…not so much.
As for “Stranded in Space” and ‘Space Travelers”, their respective original titles (“The Stranger” and “Marooned”) were much better. Shame on you, FVI.
“High School Big Shot” really only works as an ironic title, since the main character is a major league patsy (and clearly beyond high school age).
As for a fairly good title, there are several that are both good and accurate. Like, say, “SST: Death Flight” or the Gamera titles.
How about one thats half right, The Creeping Terror. It did creep but terror, Puhlease.
A lot of titles fit their films just fine, actually-“Mitchell” comes to mind, along with Diabolik, Space Mutiny, the Gamera films, Prince Of Space, etc.
Robot Monster, however, features no robots or monsters, just a goofy alien with a bubble machine. Bride of The Monster features no weddings, and neither Tor nor an octopus qualify as a monster. And It Conquered The World? Uh, no it didn’t. :)
And Teenagers from Outer Space—there were no teenagers.
Maybe some late 20s and 30s, and the rich girlfriend
in her 40s (who got zapped in the pool).
Teenage Caveman? Robert Vaughn was no longer a teenager by the time that was made, but the movie at least pretended he was a teenage caveman.
Most appropriate titles include First Spaceship On Venus and Rocketship X-M, the very definition of eponymous. 12 To The Moon also works well.
Catalina Caper is definitely about a goofy caper on Catalina.
Hercules, Hercules Unchained and Hercules And The Captive Women are about Hercules. Hercules Against The Moon Men is actually a renamed, dubbed Maciste movie, which explains why nothing in the film seems to relate even remotely to the other Hercules films or the ancient myths about him.
Crash Of The Moons, gets it half right. Two celestial bodies do crash into each other, but since they are described as free roaming bodies and do not orbit another larger body they are not technically moons. Also, how do free roaming bodies not orbiting a star have heat and warmth for human life?!
I think it’s fairly clear we all agree that any film renamed by Film Ventures has a useless title virtually unrelated to the film at all (Pod People, Cave Dwellers, Space Travelers), though the original titles of those films certainly work well enough.
Mr. B.I.G. certainly get some right, the Amazing Colossal Man is appropriately titled as is the sequel, War Of The Colossal Beast, but Beginning Of The End is a bit of hyperbole and tells you nothing about the film ahead of time other than civilization is apparently threatened by some conjured SF threat yet again.
The Beatniks? It’s about juvenile delinquents and pop music and has nothing to do with “the beat generation” or “beat movement” of the 1950s and 1960s. The Beatniks would have been a more appropriate title for The Rebel Set.
Lost Continent? Isn’t it just an island that’s not really big enough to qualify as a continent?
Bloodlust was appropriate because the villain certainly did lust for blood (sorry, splitting the compound word title as was mentioned above is not the proper way to handle that one).
It Conquered the World! Well, It’s a flippin carrot, and it didn’t even conquer Lee Van Cleef’s small home town!
I accuse my Parents. Basically, all you need to know.
I’d say the majority of Film Venture International’s new titles they gave to movies are misleading as many people have mentioned. I doubt they actually watched the movies before renaming them. So my answer is all of those.
Where is the “attack” in Attack of the the Eye Creatures? Seems like they were just wandering around in the woods,they slightly damaged a car and the only victim they were “poo-poo-ing” him.I guess it would be kind of hard to attack,since their costumes weren’t completed,right??
Manos: The Hands of Fate, while appropriate, it’s horribly redundent to anybody with a passing knowledge of Spanish.
The most spot on is The Incredible Melting Man. He indeed melts, regardless of the fact that flesh can’t actually melt, and is incredible because deteriating makes him strong, faster, and a better human being than Dr. Ted Nelson.
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians should have been Santa Claus Wins Over the Martians.
Let’s face it, Earth Versus the Spider sounds a whole lot cooler than Earth Versus River Falls.
Contra the Episode guide (and with all due respect to Mary Jo!), Ring of Terror strikes me as an appropriate title.
Erratum: I meant River Falls Versus the Spider. I was up late last night…
“Kitten With a Whip” is an oddly clever title for a cheesy movie–a neat metaphor that also leads to Kevin’s wonderful literal interpretation of the title. But it’s also misleading–to paraphrase Kurt Vonnegut: “No damn kitten, and no damn whip.”
In the same vein, “Teenage Crime Wave” has no real teenagers, and it’s hardly a “wave,” is it? On the other hand, “Teenage Strangler” did feature some strangling and at least one real teen. (Marks off for the fact that the strangler isn’t a teen, and it’s not just teens who are strangled–so it’s misleading no matter which way you read it).
Eh, I don’t think the FVI re-titlings are legit fodder; if the title was altered years later by some disinterested git you really can’t hold it against the original film…
I’ma go with It Conquered The World as well. The Brain From Planet Arous(ed) came closer than Beulah did. Hell, the Blood Beast had a better shot at world domination. (I saw this thing several times before I realized this was supposed to be a horror knock-off of The Day The Earth Stood Still. Oh my God.)
There’s nothing Incredible about the Melting Man, but I finally threw away a few bucks to get the paperback novelization by Paul Smith and was impressed. He really tried to polish this turd with admirable results in light of the source, much like Hank Searls’ salvage jobs on Jaws 2 and Jaws: The Revenge. Smith’s version keeps most of the movie’s events in place yet adds elements that present a story far beyond the film’s budget and Spackles up a few plot holes (most notably the gets-stronger-as-he-melts hoohah).
Soultaker, The Side Hackers and Werewolf are, at least functional titles (just what it says on the tin, as it were); Gunslinger mixes it up a bit in that the titular slinger of guns isn’t quite the stock character one expects. The Unearthly is a nice vague but evocative title. The Undead didn’t have any undead in it. (Yes, I know Corman retitled it before release.) The Atomic Brain is a decent title that really doesn’t match the movie.
parts: the clonus horror is a pretty good title, except that the “clonus,” uh, part kind of gives it away (also, it’s all in lowercase ooh pretentious and arthouse). Alien from L.A. is good title that deserves a better movie. So’s Warrior of the Lost World. (That might be a fun Weekend Thread there- give a one or two sentence synopsis of a theoretical better film that better matches a MST title. I say “might be” because, well, obviousness is obvious.)
Women of the Prehistoric Planet was about a planet that had no women.
Bad title: “Women of the Prehistoric Planet”. By my count there were three women and about eight to ten men on that planet at various times, not counting those who didn’t leave the ship. If it is a Garden of Eden movie, a better title could have been “When Adam Met Eve”, but not the existing title. But then, what do we expect. It’s a bad movie.
“I was a Teenage Werewolf” is an appropriate title. Ignoring the actors’ real ages, they were portrayed as high school students, and the main character did become a werewolf.
“Moon Zero Two” is also an appropriate title. Although it does not describe the film, the plot does revolve around activities on the ship and with its crew and charterers.
How about “Monster a Go-Go” due to it being a misleading and inappropriately, bad title? Because as we all know, there was no monster!
BTW, check out the link to my Photobucket account gallery to see my photo op with Monster a Go-Go producer Herschell Gordon Lewis at Miami Florida SuperCon 2012, as well as my video encounter with him there on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfxx6gltf-I&feature=plcp
http://s1118.beta.photobucket.com/user/Paul_DerHagopian/library/#/user/Paul_DerHagopian/library/Mystery%20Science%20Theater%203000?&_suid=135195669731209685509422181631
I had previously brought him my Mystery Science Theater 3000, Volume 8 DVD to sign back in 2010. He signed it as follows:
“The most monstrous aspect is the plot. You won’t find my name on this. Once you see the movie you’ll know why”
Herschell Gordon Lewis
I also brought the 2010 special edition DVD of the uncut version of the movie for him to sign this year, too, along with another copy of the MST3k Volume 8 DVD for my friend which he signed as follows:
“No monster, but the whole thing is monstrous!”
Herschell Gordon Lewis
The Brute Man. As Mike said,”Why didn’t they just call this movie ‘The Creeper’?”
Also, ‘The Phantom Planet’ should have been ‘The Hard To Find Fried Chicken’.
Wow. It’s hard to pick one bad title because so many of them were trying to sound like other more successful movies. Hm. I suppose I’ll just go with the one that stands out the most: “The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies”. A better title might be “The Incredibly Dull Burlesque Show Where There Was Very Little Removal of Clothing and Kept Getting Interrupted By Loser Guys Who a Fortune Teller Hypnotized and/or Disfigured With Acid”. More accurate and even longer.
Agree with what’s been said, but will add Merlin’s Mystical Shop of Wonders to the misleading titles list.
Well….
I guess an obvious one is Sidehackers. Even though it does have sidehack bikes, the whole film only has to do with a guy who’s girlfriend gets killed and wants pay back. Then again, Five the Hard Way WAS the original film title…. (correct me if I’m wrong).
I’ve also been a little curious of Bride of the Monster. Even though Dr. Vornof tries making Janet his wife, there isn’t too much stuff for the Bride part.
Monster a go go there was no monster.
Hercules and the Captive Women? What Captive Women? Just a bunch of fey Roger Waters lookalikes bleating about this day being “dedicated to Uranus”…
The Beatiniks. There were no beatniks in this movie.
I think the obvious one is Ring of Terror. There is no ring of terror, neither one that is literal nor one that is figurative.
The Magic Voyage of Sinbad. It’s not Sinbad.
‘The Unearthly’. It all takes place on Earth.
‘King Dinosaur’. The ‘dinosaurs’ were all pet shop lizards.
‘Teenagers From Outer Space’. They were all well into their late 20s.
‘The Thing That Wouldn’t Die’. It died.
‘Samson Vs. The Vampire Women’. Thats not Samson, it El Santo.
At least there was a ring in Ring of Terror even if it wasn’t very terror filled.
The Godzilla movies are a little misleadingly titled, as he really doesn’t show up until near the end both times. Yes, Godzilla does indeed fight a Sea Monster, but before that, the film could have been called My Brother Is Alive!! And Godzilla Vs. Megalon could have been called Atlantis Attacks! or Save Us, Jet Jaguar!
Come to think of it, the same could be said of some of the Gamera films as well…..
Without a doubt, the worst, least descriptive title is “The Starfighters.” There are no stars, either human or celestial, and there’s no fighting. A more appropriate title would have been “The Boring Stock Footage.”
Another “Huh??” title is “Beginning of the End.” I mean, how are we supposed to guess it’s about giant mutated insects?
A great title was “I Was a Teenage Werewolf” since it was about a teenager turned into a werewolf. Could’ve used a little first-person perspective, though.
This Island Earth…so confused.
City on Fire went to great lengths to deliver a city on fire, just as Crash of the Moons Pumaman and Killer Shrews put their moneys where their mouths were, but I felt there was plenty of room for further sacrifices following The Final Sacrifice. And while Dr. Z went to great lengths to create blood waters in his local Swiss Swamp, he ended up having to do all of his own bloody-ing of the populace. Honestly, what was the point of spraying all that Windex into the lake if you had to drag the girl back to your lab anyway? And hey, The Brain That Wouldn’t Die was in no way responsible for that decision. Poor Jan in the Pan was the Brain that Couldn’t Die because her danged husband wouldn’t let her! This is as opposed to the Thing (that also turned out to be a head) that Couldn’t Die (by restrictions set by a curse).
Devilfish seemed like a copout, even before I saw the copout it represented. A better title would have been “Buck-Toothed Inbreeding Mistake-topus.”
I’ve got to admit, I had Stranded in Space and Space Travelers confused for years.
and yes, Rebel Set and Beatniks should have switched titles.
As for appropriate titles, has no one mentioned Gamera vs ______? Gotta admit, they delivered on those!!
Zombie Nightmare: Accurate. Yes, it’s a nightmare, for a hella lotta reasons. And there’s a zombie in it, too.
Teenage Strangler: Nope. Janitor wasn’t a teen, one of the victims was everyone’s mom.
Oh, this is a good topic, so many possibilities!
What about titles of shorts?
The one I still don’t understand is the Truck Farmer. Does this refer to a person who grows trucks? To be accurate, the short should have been called Food is Distributed Using Various Fuel-Based Forms of Transportation, Including Trains and Trucks.
Well, “The Truck Farmer” is a shortened title. It’s actually “The Truculent Farmer”, as the notoriously reticent farmers were nearly able to tell the migrant workers how much they loved to see them … being savagely beaten for asking for pay or to have the mechanical reaper mangle their arms slightly less often.
“Godzilla Vs. Megalon” had a misleading title. This started as Jet Jaguar vs. Megalon and then it became a two on one handicap match when Gigan showed up and helped Megalon. When Godzilla did arrive, via cross ocean swimming, it became a tag team match.
“Jack Frost” was really the adventures of Ivan and the plight of Nastenka. The “title character” shows up halfway in the film. I guess using “Jack Frost” was a better fit than “The Adventures of Ivan”.
As Joel himself remarks, “Why did they call this ‘Women of the Prehistoric Planet’? It makes no sense.” Not only are there no women native to the planet, but the movie’s poster boasts of “prehistoric nymphs bathing in the pools of paradise”, which never happens. Basically just a cheap ploy to put butts in the theater seats. You can almost hear the producers going “Ha ha, fooled you, stupid horny audience! Now sit down and watch this crappy no-budget sci-fi garbage and squirm with the knowledge that you paid to see it!”
@39 if we include shorts the most obvious misnomer would be “MR”B NATUARL!!!
“Godzilla Versus the Sea Monster” would have been more appropriate if the title was “Godzilla Plays Pitch-and-Catch With the Sea Monster”.
“Escape 2000” was definitely misnamed. There was a lot of running around, but no one escaped!
And with a title like “The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Give Up Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies”, there’s no way the movie could fit the title. Maybe “The Mixed-Up Zombies Trapped In a Closet While a Bunch of Bad Strip Shows Where No One Stripped When On” might be closer.
The Incredible Melting Man – – It IS incredible, and he DOES melt… . . . . .
THE STARFIGHTERS is debatably misleading. The film is indeed about a type of plane which really were called Starfighters but the title does suggest a space opera type of thing.
LOST CONTINENT is just bewildering. If it’s a ‘continent,’ what’s it doing on top of a mountain? Wouldn’t the mountain itself have to be on a continent? And either that’s one huge mountain, one teensy continent, or the continent is balanced on top of the mountain and it’s a wonder the crashing rocket didn’t flip it and send it sliding down the side.
For ‘good’ titles, I’ll have to go with SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS. It’s not particularly misleading –He does ‘conquer’ them, if only metaphorically– and, admit it, it makes you want to see it, if only to find out what the Hell THIS could possibly be about.
@#31- ‘The Thing That Wouldn’t Die’. It died.
OMG- when I read your comment I spit my drink. Very funny.
can you really call a movie about a guy carrying a jug of Crystal Light around southern California ‘Riding with Death?’
#45
i agree..“The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Give Up Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies” should have been called either “Shick out of Shape” or “Madison!!”