Which characters should have died, but didn’t in a MSTied movie. My candidate is the annoying boy in “The Black Scorpion.” Any number of times. But, sadly, he survived.
But I want to expand it: Let’s also talk about characters who died undeserving deaths. And let’s start by ruling out poor innocent Carrie in “Girl in Lovers Lane” as too easy. My pick is Sid Melton’s character in “Lost Continent,” who does absolutely nothing (other than being annoying comic relief) to deserve being devoured by a triceratops.
As for people who lived, how about awful Betty in “High School Big Shot”? Shouldn’t she at least have gotten winged in the crossfire?
What’s your pick?
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Rommell in Sidehackers was dark and undeserved. Of course, it gave us another look at how chili peppers actually did burn his gut.
I always felt that Babs in “Horrors of Spider Island” did not deserve to die, even if she was fooling around with that creepy sailor guy.
Inexplicable survival: No doubt—John Agar in “Revenge of the Creature” and “The Mole People!!!!”
Unjust Survival: The cast of King Dinosaur. If only they hadn’t managed to clear the blast radius. Also Watney from Outlaw.
Unjust Death: Torgo. Assuming he was killed, as the film was a bit unclear on that point.
For those who didn’t deserve to die, I have two that have always bothered me. There’s Danny, from The Unearthly; sure, he had issues, and was abrasive, but he certainly didn’t need to be killed off, and with no visible gunshot wound to boot!
Then there’s The Mole People’s main heroine, Adal. Really, movie, you had to drop the pillar on her to avoid any hint of an “inter-racial relationship”? Come on! She definitely didn’t earn such a stupid death. Of course, she deserved better than John Agar, too.
The only character I can think of right now who I wouldn’t have minded being killed off was Linda from The Wild Rebels. I read the ACEG before I saw Wild Rebels, and remember distinctly the comment about the only good thing was that skanky Linda was among the dead, and I was very disappointed when I finally saw it and found out she’d survived. So unfair!
Should have died – the annoying militaristic jerk in “Hobgoblins”. Sorry, no one this side of Chuck Norris takes a grenade and walks away :p When he re-appeared “unhurt” at the end of the movie, a part of my soul died.
Undeserving Death – Rex, the marine biologist from “Blood Waters of Dr Z.” He tolerates the semi-friendly jibes of a cracker sheriff, saves the gal, fights the monster, and seems like the only sane and likable character in the cast. I suppose he should have grabbed the Banana Split’s rover from the INPIT agent and high tailed it, but no, he had to actually try and be a hero….
Inexplicable survival: Nick Miller’s mullet from Time Chasers; everyone in The Giant Spider Invasion; Ernest Borgnine in Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders.
Undeserving death: Richard the Clone from Parts: The Clonus Horror.
HEY SAMPO AND DROPO221!!! Betty DOES die in High School Big Shot and Babs SURVIVES Horrors of Spider Island! Betty was shot by Vince 5 or 6 times before he got shot! Babs leaves the island with Gladys and the other at the end of the film!
The murder/sacrifice of three domestic pets (cat, dog, fish) was totally unjustified in the Children’s story Merlin. Very dark.
I’ll actually award a meager few automatic brownie points to even the worst movie, even “The Swarm,” if it shows the intestinal fortitude to remind us that life is unfair and that Justice is strictly a human concept the natural world ain’t give two shats about.
(Not, mind you, for cracking off characters just for gratuitousness, or worse. I’m sure we can name several movies, including one of the most infamous MST3K experiments, where the director’s self-evident, um, ‘fetish’ was the most disturbing thing being portrayed onscreen.)
For all that, I have to agree that the li’l squirt in “The Black Scorpion” is my pick for Least-Deserved Survival. Certainly, he is monumentally annoying (AILL TAKE KEER OF DEMMM!!!)–so annoying that his poor exasperated dog prefers to perish in the monsters’ pincers than continue putting up with him–but what really earns his spot is his determination, at all times, to do The One Thing That Is Clearly Most Likely To Get Him Killed–up to and including helping an elderly giant bug out from under its trapdoor to attack him.
Least-Deserved Death? Yeah, I’ll go with the finale of “The Mole People” for that one. It serves no dramatic purpose than to try and gin up some gravitas as a “downer,” and remind us it’s better to stay quiet, ignorant, and scared, lest God crush our guts out of our buttholes.
Should have died? Mitchell. And Geronimo for that matter. Nothing against Joe Don Baker, honestly, but those two characters are so loathsome they stink up the entire US police establishment.
I’m going to third that Adal’s death in “The Mole People” just shouldn’t have happened.
I was totally bummed out about Fred Burroughs dying in Future War. He made it so close to the end!
I believe it’s been said that the girl at the end of Mole People
was killed off to avoid any hint of interracialish fooling around
because of 1950s “sensibilities.”
Inexplicable Survivor Award goes to Lt. Lamont.
Undeserving Death Award, Touch Connors girlfriend in Swamp Diamonds. How come she gets to die in a Beverly Hills swimming pool and everyone else dies in a filthy swamp?
How about a couple of undeserved deaths in Gunslinger.
The wife of the mayor, seemingly just killed off to
reduce the town population to approaching zero—and you
just know her roast was burned- what with her being dead and all.
And how about Cane Miro? He saved Rose from being lynched and then
deliberately didn’t shoot her. I mean, next time he says he and Rose
should go to Australia they go to Australia (They speak English there, you know).
undeserving dearh? MEGAWEAPON! MEGAWEAPON! MEGAWEAPON! oh yeah and i guess Kerri from GiLL.
as far as surviving goes…it’s a tough gaggle of losers to choose from but i’ll go with ‘Pyoohmaymaen”
Unjust death: Re-re-second Adal from Mole People, also Alice from Teenagers from Outer Space, as no hot female in a bathing suit should ever die.
Unjust Survival: Second Watney (kill him! kill him!), add the “I’m commmeeeeng!!!” guy from Delta Knights – anyone that obnoxious has to go.
Undeserved Death: Richard Crenna in Space Travelers
Undeserved Survival: Zeppelin Lungs Hackman in Space Travelers
By the end of Wild Rebels there’s a huge body count of innocent people caused by the titular gang. The only thing any of them have done to get themselves killed is being a bit stupid and poorly written, otherwise they are hapless victims.
Then there’s the crew of Rocketship X-M. These brave and wordy explorers are all innocent victims of bad fuel calculations and a bad astronaut selection process. Oh and bad piloting since they were supposed to go to the Moon and not Mars.
On the other hand, there are the characters in the serials that were made fun of (e.g., Radar Men From The Moon, Undersea Kingdom, Phantom Creeps), most of those characters were saved by end of episode cliffhangers carefully contrived to create suspense. People fall off of cliffs, fall out of cars headed over cliffs, dodge explosions, escape crashing airplanes, trips to the Moon, “death rays” and a whole host of other hazards episode after episode. It defies the law of averages!
Finally, why does Max in Master Ninja do so well at coming through unscathed? The guy may be nice, but he’s also an annoying goofball that has had like five minutes of ninja training and suddenly he can take on all manner of professional baddies in large numbers and come through with barely a scratch. I call no way!
All I can think of is ‘Space Mutiny’s’ line of “Nice of you to give that dead girl her job back…” and giggle to myself.
Another undeserved death – Debbie from “Space Mutiny”……oh, wait, there she is – nevermind.
Great discussion topic…..so many to pick from on both sides of the topics…
Some members of the pop group in Pod People meet untimely ends at the hands of Trumpy’s evil twin. They have done nothing to deserve such untimely deaths other than be jerks to each other, act like jerks toward their hosts at the house at which they stay and to make really annoying popular music recordings. Okay, maybe some of them did deserve it! :-D
The poor female secret agent in Rocket Attack USA definitely meets an undeserved death. First she has to sleep with the stinky Soviet general, then she gets shot trying to prevent a nuclear war. Sure her acting was flat and mediocre, but the character didn’t deserve such shabby treatment.
As for unlikely survival, how about the astronaut Morgan whom we never even see in Monster A-Go Go? First we think he died in a space capsule crash, then we think he’s a radioactive monster, then he magically reappears according to the exposition at the end of the movie in perfect health. That’s amazing for more than one reason.
Undeserved: Chris the Dog from Revenge of the Creature. I mean, really? And the goofy dolphin tub toy that gave its life to save Roxanne.
Shoulda died: I know Watney has already been mentioned, but he can’t get enough votes.
Shoulda died: Cabot in Outlaw. Let’s face it the, Hunter is the true hero. Cabot does NOTHING to prove his kingly worth. However, the Hunter captures Cabot (making it look WAY too easy) and HE’S the one who kills the evil queen. I imagine there are quite a few Gor wenches who the Hunter will love to channel “Kratos” with, so it all works out.
Undeserved: The poor Phil Collins-esque Enforcer who was just trying to get some, letting Leah escape, and incurring the wrath of Calgan.
(I must just be in a sex mood today…)
Undeserved death: How about the driver in Teenagers from
Outer Space, who picks up Thor, cheerfully ignores Thor’s
abuse, and is then killed.
(Perhaps he should have heeded cautions by the gas
station attendent in Touch of Evil about fromicidal maniacs). Speaking of which: Is anyone hungry for some CARNATION ICE CREAM?
Undeserved death: The Giant Gila Monster (“They killed off the only likable character!”)
Inexplicable survival: Lt Red “Hikeeba” Bradley. Couldn’t they have found a way for him to die painfully?
Undeserving deaths: Rita in Sidehackers and Sparky the dog in Teenagers from Outer Space. (From previous comments, obviously most of the skeletonized deaths in TfOS were undeserved.)
As for should have died but didn’t, I’ll agree with the GI Joe wannabe in Hobgoblins.
Yikes, this is a toughie. Unlike Crow, I don’t wanna decide who lives and who gets callously or even off-handedly snuffed, but here goes-
The cranky old drunk from Pod People, in my opinion, was being nice and grudgingly generous enough to let The Cowsills stay in his house, even going so far as to drive through the thickest fog on earth to the Ranger’s station, only to encounter a hell-beast that kills off the movie’s only likable character and barely gets away, only to be threatened repeatedly by an arrogant wanna-be pop star twerp and backhanded to death by Evil Trumpy, dying with his mouth open screaming “WHY???”.
The annoying popstar twerp (no, fella, YOU stink) leads the list of characters I wouldn’t have minded seeing bumped off, along with Heathcliff from WWWOB, the main character from Sqirm, and all the angsty juvies from Teenage Crime Wave, Kitten With A Whip, and “I killed that fat barkeep!!!” can’t die enough deaths.
Oh, I’ve gone to far….
Coleman Francis has a real touch for undeserved death. For example:
Red Zone Cuba – The murder of the sad old diner owner by throwing him down the well. Of course, Francis uses this to segue nicely into the charming, implied assault on the blind woman scene.
Beast of Yucca Flats – The woman that is strangled before the credits is just kind of stupid and doesn’t seem to serve the movie whatsoever, except maybe to give the viewer a taste of the sleazy world of Coleman Francis.
Skydivers – they might’ve let Harry live, discovering the acid-riddled parachute, and help capture Suzy and Frankie, but that just wouldn’t be Francis.
Rommel from Sidehackers, Lloyd Bridges from X-M, were undeserving deaths
Undeserved – Tracy from Pod People. Fun, good personality, I was bummed when Trumpy’s evil twin killed her. In a good movie the perky friend makes it to the end.
Also, Tia Carrera in Zombie Nightmare. Again, hot chicks should not die.
Deserved – the Farah Fawcet hair style copying Jimbo in Zombie Nightmare. Truly annoying!
Deserved – all the Vampire Women that Santos, er, Samson burns up at the end of Smason vs the Vampire Women.
Undeserved death(s): All the law enforcement personnel Diabolik killed just so he could get to sleep with the world’s biggest gold-digger.
Should have died: The entire cast of ‘Wild World Of Batwoman’.
I disagree with Sampo about Sid Melton’s character in “Lost Continent,” he deserved to be killed because he does nothing other than be annoying comic relief. He should have been killed off earlier than he was.
The most undeserving MST3K death was MST3K itself. Okay, it’s not a movie, unless you count MST3K THE MOVIE, but it didn’t deserve to die. It should have run forever. It’s not too late. Sell the rights to PIXAR and the cast will never grow old.
Attack of the Giant Leeches – It was sort of lame to have Liz Baby survive and suffer in the underwater cave, then kill her off right at the end of the movie. Basically, I’m just going along with the idea that she was too hot to die.
The girl dying at the end of Mole people was pointless and undeserved.
Vorelli shoud’ve died instead being stuck in a little wooden body.
I think Hamlet should have di… oh wait, he did. It just took forever. He shoulda died at the beginning of the movie, and Yorik should have lived ’cause he was a fellow of infinite jest. The movie woulda been hysterical! He could have been adopted by the king and queen and he could have been the prince! Oh, the possibilities!!
@Blindpew, #19 & HauntedHill, #20
Good Catch! Debbie’s one of the few people eligible for both awards! She certainly didn’t deserve to die, and being dead, she certainly shouldn’t have survived…
Other nominees include Nick from Time Chasers (the one who died was way more respectable than the one who survived) and the dinosaur from Future War — dies in the beginning, then comes back in the middle only to die again.
Peter Sharpe in BEING FROM ANOTHER PLANT, the jerk who steals the mummy’s glowing moon rocks, pretty much causes all the rampage and murder in the movie, that guy doesn’t die. What gives? He deserved to have his face melted.
Undeserved death?
The deaf mute guy in BEGINNING OF THE END who gets eaten by a giant grasshopper. “He’s signing, “AHHHHH!””
Unjust survival: The Master from Manos: The Hands of Fate. Nuff said.
Unjust death: The guy who got hit by the giant syringe in The Amazing Colossal Man. He was only trying to help the title character, yet he got impaled for his troubles.
Also, as so many others have said, Adal from The Mole People. That was a purely loathsome ending.
Undeserved- Keenan Wynne and wife in Parts- the Clonus Horror. Be a good samaritan and KA-BOOM!
Deserved- the rest of the cast in Gunslinger. Well, maybe not deserved, but they got so close to cleaning out the entire town they might as well have gone for it!
I must disagree, Sampo. If anyone ever deserved to be devoured by a tricerotops, it was Sid Melton. Only Pauly Shore & Eddie Deezen would have given him a run for his money.
Really, the most undeserved death was the burnout jacket-clad Dr. Ted Nelson in The Incredible Melting Man.
In Wild World of Batwoman, how the heck does Heathcliff survive the explosion of the hearing aid? He was HOLDING it! And why are the other characters merely scattered about a beach, not burnt and limbless?
And why in Manos do they kill the dog? Pepe wasn’t harming anybody. In fact, Pepe’s was the most believable performance of the entire spaced out production.
Randy
Undeserved – Tess the Dog in “The Deadly Bees”.
Unexplainable survival – Tie: The entire cast of “Hobgoblins” and the “vacationing” singer in “The Deadly Bees”.
undeserved-Ted Nelson from Incredible Melting Man, Lassie’s owner is Painted Hill,the old couple at the end of Clonus, and while they didn’t die per se but the wife and daughter in Manos did not deserve to be trapped as Manos’ wives because Mike was a moron.
should have died-Buffalo from Riding with Death-what an idiot, the cast of Hobgoblins, Mikey from Teenage Strangler, since I couldn’t use Carrie as an undeserved death how about Jack Elam or Big Stupid as a should have died instead from The Girl in Lover’s Lane.
Kathy #45: While I agree everyone in Hobgoblins deserved a horrible death, how did Nick survive? He was ON FIRE! Yet a few botched scenes later, a smattering of bandages addresses his body-wide 3rd-4th degree burns. Jeez, are the makers of bad films LAZY!
Should have survived- Sparkle the dog from Merlin.
Should have died- Angry medium from Merlin. “LISTEN, DAVID!”
Bonus Should have died- The “It was all a dream” movie convention, a la Robot Monster.
First one that came to mind was Nick in Hobgoblins. He jumps on a grenade, and the next scene he just has bandages and crutches.
Undeserved: The potato eating woman who was killed trying to help Deathstalker, then gets tossed on the fire. But I have to say “she was ore-ida”.