I noticed in the Rifftrax Manos something I had previously ignored: in the Master’s Valley Lodge there’s bookshelves in every room, and there’s a couple books on each of them.
What *do* the MiSTed movie characters read in their spare time, and why?
The Master’s Valley Lodge books all seemed to be bound volumes of the state penal code, so I’m guessing Torgo was trying to pass the Texas bar exam. This also suggests he was maybe working for the Master to pay off his student loans, which is at least as depressing as anything else in the film.
I’m guessing that on the nightstand of J.C. of “Sidehackers” is Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”
What’s your suggestion?
) to help our users cope with "trolls" and other commenters whom they find annoying. Go to our
“The Dead Talk Dirty”
Torgo and Ortega (amongst others) also peruse catalogs from their favourite store, Second Banana Republic.
Mitchell reads beer can labels. Or tries to, anyway…
The Cast of Killer Shrews read Vodka labels in Sveedish.
Gamera spins so much the only thing he can read is the label on Frisbees.
Steve, Steve and Steve on “Night of the Blood Beast” read “When You’re Expecting.”
Glen Manning from “Amazing Collosal Man” only reads roadside Billboards
Mikey from “Teenage Strangler” enjoys reading lots of comic books, everything J.R.R Tolkien, and Diary of a wimpy kid.
Glenn spent most of his time reading airplane logos.
Punch Rockgroin (our hero from Space Mutiny) probably has every back copy of “Muscle and Fitness” magazine, which he shares with Ator and Hercules.
Mikey (Teenage Strangler) – “Diary of A Wimpy Kid.”
Rowsdower – “The Mentor” by Tony Dungy.
The Paper Chase Guy – “On the Road” by Jack Kerouac.
Genius (Ron Howard’s character from VOTG) – “Food of the Gods” H.G. Wells (it was based on the book, right???)
The townsfolk in “Attack of the Giant Leeches” congregate in the soda shop to hear readings from “You Might Be A Redneck.”
Tom Stewart – “The Secret of Letting Go” (at least that’s what someone should buy him.)
Buzz – Eddie Van Halen: Guitar Virtuoso.
Oh, and icky elf guy from Girl in Gold Boots spends all his free time reading that article about his sis and his small town gas bar robbery…
Ator obviously read Leonardo da Vinci’s engineering notebooks.
The Sky Divers read “What Color is your Parachute?”
Yuri from Wharewoof has “Men’s Hairstyles”, copyright 1975, on his shelf I bet.
Oddly enough Mitchell only owns one book- Finngans Wake- and he’s read it a dozen times.
I always imagined Mick from Squirm would have a dog-eared copy of Charles Atlas’s “Dynamic Tension” lessons at home in New York.
Glenn Manning: So Big
Mister Krassner: Those Time-Life ‘Mysteries Of The Unknown’ books, over and over again, obsessively
The Bellarians: Isadora Duncan: A Life
Neil Connery from Operation Kid Brother: The Birth Order Book
Winky from Manhunt In Space: Physique Pictorial, for the workout tips, of course
The heroine from Space Munity: The Joan Collins Guide To Staying Healthy And Attractive Past Sixty
Troy: The latest Star Trek novel
Dropo: Jerry Lewis’ The Total Film-Maker
Heroine from The Screaming Skull: The Total Woman
Blast Hardcheese: Very slowly
Mitchell: Anything by Glenn Beck
The heroine from Skydivers: The Bridges of Madison County
Mikey: Asian torture porn
Mr. B read Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Rupaul
The sheriff in “The Giant Spider Invasion” is reading “The Complete History of the Green Bay Packers” as soon as he finishes his paperback about aliens.
The writer of the heist trio in The Rebel Set reads On the Road, because it’s the classic manifesto of the Beat generation (according to some, at any rate), and because as Truman Capote said, “that’s not writing; that’s typing.”
Gene Roth reads it, too.
Meat Trademark (#10): I LOVE the idea of Mitchell reading Joyce’s most difficult book! :)
I’m guessing they don’t read the scripts
Troy,Mikey and Eddie Deezen are in the Tolkien book club where they discuss all thier favorite fantacy books
The Icky Elf Guy , Moony and the cast from Wild Rebels are in the Philosophy book club where they discuss the exsisstants of being then beat each others brains out
Main guy from Soul Takers-Dynamite Magazine’s “All About John Stamos”
Max Keller-Wilt Chamberlain’s Autobiography (can’t remember the name, sorry)
Chase Winstrom has every issue of Car-Toons ever printed
Will think of more later, brain still fuzzy.
Or is that Merritt Stone who wishes he could type in The Rebel Set? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Banjo from Wild Rebels reads the instructions for his Easy-Bake Oven.
#4
Excuse me. Mikey reads “graphic novels!”
I picture Eegah repeatedly reading and rehearsing the script to the popular one-man show “Defending the Caveman”.
Nick Miller from Time Chasers regularly thumbs through his old high school yearbooks, muttering about how that one girl used to like him, all the time making his hit list.
Mitchell owns the complete works of Kurt Vonnegut, only to hide his well-read Penthouse letters collection.
Dave Ryder reads Sweet Valley High.
Paula from “The Violent Years” will be reading Todd Akin’s (R-MO) soon-to-be-published “How to Avoid Pregnancy Using Mind Control in Cases of Legitimate Rape.”
Doris Powell from The Brain That Wouldn’t Die likely has a subscription to Ms.
Mitchell read Green Eggs and Ham thinking it was a cookbook. (He actually has green eggs and green ham in the fridge)
The cast of Lost Continent read Climb the Highest Mountain.
Lobo read Dr. Phil’s Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters.
For their Time Chaser remake I imagine those plucky (no longer quite
so young) cinematographers consult time travel themed novels with
innovative concepts like Time and Again (Clifford Simak), Time Patrol
(Poul Anderson), A Sound of Thunder (brought the phrase “butterfly effect”
to the sf world-I think), a read as a teen novel The Door into Summer (Heinlein),
a recent 2 volume set (duogy? :) Blackout and All Clear, and, of course, H. G. Wells.
Although I think they did better then many in their original film in
dealing with time travel, esp. with their limited budget and experience.
Liz from “Attack Of The Giant Leeches” is probably a “50 Shades Of Grey” fan.
ETA: I’d guess Billy from “Laserblast” has stacks of Rolling Stone magazines.
Of course, a thread about books and I misspell Finnegans Wake. Shame fills me! Watch out for snacks!
Thick McLargehuge, always looking to look good for the ladies, tears into his “Men’s Health” magazine every chance he gets.
Doctor Lady Lea stays fit with “Cosmo” and “Women’s Health”.
Warrior Mumu Captain Alex likes to relax with “Lolita” while the Belarians play under his robe.
And Lt. Lemont likes to read the bible verses about Lazarus.
After a long night of trying to talk to the dead. Henry Krasker likes to kick back and read some R.L. Stine’s “Goosebumps”.
Torgo reads Getting Girls through Hypnosis (which he borrowed from the professor in Horror of Party Beach).
Neil Connery of course reads too many novels by Fleming. Jerry Fleming, Ian’s brother.
Daddy-O spends much of his time reading the left side of the menu.
Torgo read Flirting for Dummies.
Max Kellor is currently reading Speaking Clearly: Improving Voice and Diction.
The creeping terror is reading Lose Weight WITHOUT Dieting: The Animal Kingdom Way.
All the men in the peplum movies (Hercules, Colossus, and Outlaw) read I Just Want My Pants Back.
Oscar Culpotter from “Boggy Creek II” has a large collection of Sears Roebuck catalogs. I would also assume that he has old Montgomery Wards catalogs, too.
Nick, from “Time Chasers” would obviously have H.G. Wells’ book, The Time Machine
Peter Graves’ character from “Beginning of the End”, being a entomologist, would have a lot of books on bugs, big and small.
Ann Pilgrim from “The Crawling Eye” would have the complete works of Jean Dixon and The Great Vorelli.
One more: Commissioner Nayland Smith has the complete collection of Sax Roemer.
The entire cast of “The Rebel Set” reads “Writing Down The Tracks” by Merritt Stone. I know that’s not a real book, but roll with it!
Deathstalker read the David Hasselhoff autobiography.
Adam from HARM read the TV and VCR Repair Handbook–specifically the chapter on rewiring for electrocution.
SuperDragon read How to hold your Breath for over Five minutes – With only two days practice.
Winky has a copy of the Zagat Guide to the San Francisco Bay Area Nightlife.
#37: And Ulysses, by Joyce Dewitt.
Apollonia from “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank”: “Internet for Dummies”
Noel from “Werewolf”: “National Geographic”. Reading this helped him learn that wolves sleep “nose to anus”.
The lady dancers from “Horrors of Spider Island”: “Lord of the Flies”
A little off topic, but it was fun:
In Rifftrax’s skewering of The Brainiac, the character is in an old cemetery looking at several ancient books. As he’s pulling the books out, Mike immediately goes:
MIKE: “How to make masks less crappy, not interested. Fifty Shades of Gray, already read it…”
Gotta love it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwTaWN-7saM (it’s at about 1:48 in)
Final Sacrifice:
Troy only reads Larry Csonka biographies.
Zap – the bottom of bottle caps to see if he’s won
The Grizzled Prospector, oddly enough, has a subscription to Forbes.
Samson/Santo read Ray Bradbury’s unpublished short story Vampire 451.
DongThong (Cavé Dwellers) read The Hands-on Guide to Fishing. Actually, he’s only read the title thus far.Ironically, Glen Manning had just finished reading Awaken the Giant Within.
Hercules–all of them–enjoyed Guide to a Good Night’s Sleep.
The Ethics of Touch is on Torgo’s reading list.
Sadly, Hamlet never got around to reading Be Decisive!.
High school bigshot and Jimmy (I Accuse…) have been court-ordered to read Annals of Gullibility.
Santo – Adam West’s BACK TO THE BATCAVE
Paula (Violent Years) – AND I DON’T WANT TO LIVE THIS LIFE
Eegah – FORBIDDEN ARCHEOLOGY
Mister B Natural – BEYOND GENDER
Femme Fatale from Skydivers – Everything Jackie Collins ever wrote
Coleman Francis: “Coffee: a Love Story.”
Natalie, from Werewolf: “So, you want to talk English?”
Ken, from Fugitive Alien: “Forklift’s Operating Manual”.
Steve, from Night of the Blood Beast: “The World is Steve Allen”, written by Steve Allen, or “Beginning Motherhood”.
Roger Corman: “How to Make a Movie on a Phonebooth”.
Allan Hale Jr: “Giant Spiders and Crawling Hands: How to Deal with Them and not Die in the Attempt”.
Moon: “Howl”, of course!
Novacorp Chairman: “To Serve a Man”.
Sam Casey: “The Wonderfully Mellow World of Sam Casey”.
The old lady in Atomic Brain is so cranky because her subscription to Playboy ran out…
The old couple from Clonus have the complete set of Reader’s Digest Condensced Books.
I picture the undertaker from Ring Of Terror relaxing with the latest Harlequin Romance novel.
Jimmy’s Mom reads Jackie Collins.
Mitchell reads James Patterson.
Sheriff Geronimo reads Louis L’Amour.
I agree with Troy reading Star Trek novels.
Griffin from Red Zone Cuba reads Agatha Christie, surprisingly.
Paige from the “Sidehackers”: The paperback iteration of “The Burning Bed”.
Richard from “Parts: The Clonus Horror”: The State of Wisconsin’s publication “A History of Milwaukee”.
Vadinho from “Pumaman”: The novelized compilation of the “Prince Valiant” comicstrip.
Sheriff Geronimo: The complete works of Julia Childs.
Kevin from “Hobgoblins”: “The Church of the Sub-Genius”.
The hippy van driver from “Laserblast”: “The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers” (I know its a comic…er, graphic novel…but hey a little rule bending is ok, isn’t it?).
Ilya Muromets’ absolutely loves to read Beowulf
Lemminkäinen reads the complete works of J.R.R Tolkien each year.
Louhi originally wanted the Sampo so it could make all the books(published and unpublished) from Jim Butcher’s The Dresden Files series.
Ulysses was saddened to learn there was no such book as The Erotic Adventures of Hercules