With the spate of superhero movies this summer, and the success of Avengers, who would comprise your “MST3K Avengers”? I think my team line up would be: The Indestructible Man, Puma Man, Eegah, Commando Cody, and Beverly Garland just because she’s Beverly Garland! (every team needs a strong female character, and she’s the pick of the MST3K litter on that point) Of course, a team needs a foe. Perhaps they band together to stop a rampaging Colossal Man, or the Phantom of Krankor? I can see quite a bit of fun to be had with this idea.
Have at it!
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A female avengers team of Beverly, Babs (Spider Island),
and Prince of Space (don’t ask) team up to purge MST3000
land of irritating and rather sexist women- beginning with
“The 7” of Angels Revenge. Trish and Co. are stunned when they
find, after repeatedly and ineffectually trying, that their
weapons are useless against the Avengers.
Bat Woman and her hot babe followers,
Rocky Jones and Winky,
Ilya Mouromeyz and Lemminkainen,
Captain Tom Churchman and Junior Detective Frank Sorrell,
The Master and Torgo,
and the triple-threat of The Beast of Yucca Flats
and his brother Lobo and his other brother Lobo.
Here’s a team that would make a great Saturday morning Show:
Prince of Space,
Space Chief,
and Jet Jaguar
and they travel in their pet turtle/space ship Gamera.
Here’s my version of The Avengers-MSTie Style:
Batwoman, Puma Man, The Projected Man, Trumpy, Dave Ryder (Space Mutiny) and Dr. Z :laugh:
The Villain would be Ralph Valmont (#1013) :evilgrin:
Commando Cody would be the brains behind the operation
Ator, the brute strangth
the Master would be perfect for his Dr. Strange-like magic (it’s in the robe!)
Trumpy would be the child who does not yet understand his powers
and the Creeping Terror would be the unstoppable Hulk-esque rug
Their main nemesis would be Bela Lugosi, who is trying to destroy the world through his evil inventions that include Killer Shrews, Creeping Phantoms, and Hobgoblins. Tor would, of course, be his Igor. Possibly use Peter Graves against his will to betray the human race!
Zap Rowsdower, Mitchell, Trumpy, Santa Claus & the talking motorcycle from warrior of the lost world…..oh, we need a female…..Lassie.
I think I’d go with Dave Ryder, Commando Cody, Ator, Eegah, Batwoman and the Boggy Creek Creature. Their home base would Santa Claus’ lair on the North Pole.
Torgo
Unintelligible Verevolf Voman
Diobolik
Jack Frost
Joe Estevez (as himself)
And YES! Beverly Garland!! She would totally kick ass!
Heroes:
Master Ninja recruits the Being from another planet (master of lurking), Hercules (master of sleep), Warrior of the lost world (the charismatic leader of the group), Hamlet-man (master of indecision), and Kathy from from LA (the brains of the bunch).
Villians:
The Brain that wouldn’t die joins forces with the Thing that couldn’t die and unleash a heard of creeping terrors in downtown NYC.
How do you not have Prince of Space on your team? Your weapons are useless against him (or so I’ve heard)!
– PoS
– Jet Jaguar (amasses throngs of children, merchandising)
– Sam Casey (dude can turn invisible and be really mellow at the same time!)
– Katherine Crawford (she can awkwardly super-impose herself in the future, that has to be useful)
– Vadinho (strong, well-versed on flimsy belief systems, might be an onion)
– Jan in the Pan. (She’s telekinetic sort of, and as Joss Whedon knew back in the Buffy days and apparently forgot by The Avengers movie, women can do more than be eye candy.)
– Punch Rockgroin (he can punch rocks, groins)
– Mitchell (drunken comic relief)
Villans:
– Kobras (evilness: mind control, mispronunciation)
– Kalgan (evilness: mutiny, chewing scenery)
– Eegah (evilness: rage, misogyny)
– Mr B. Natural (long, tragic backstory here about her turning to evil. It involves taking the fun of music and turning it into sadness, pretentiousness, and pain. Yup, her evilness is manifest in both KISS’s “Music from The Elder” and Bon Iver)
My MST3K Avengers would be a hodgepodge and include:
Ator (Cave Dwellers)
John McAllister (Master Ninja)
Santa Claus (Santa Claus)
Samson (Samson vs. The Vampire Women)
The Creeper (The Brute Man)
Vadinho (The Puma Man)
Their recurring foes would have a mad science theme and include:
Dr. Krupp (Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy)
Dr. Cameron (The Mad Monster)
Fu Manchu (The Castle of Fu Manchu)
Dr. Eric Vornoff (Bride of the Monster)
Ratfink (The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman)
Dr. Otto Frank (The Atomic Brain)
Prince of Space, Troy from “The Final Sacrifice” (’cause he’s so cute in bright red), Sam from “Riding with Death,” and Lea & Ryder from “Space Mutiny” band together as the Exterminators from Heck to fight off the insect/arachnoid threats from “The Deadly Mantis,” “The Giant Spider Invasion,” “The Deadly Bees,” and “Beginning of the End.”
I’m tempted to say just Kenny, the kid who was Jet Jaguar’s buddy, and all the kids from Prince Of Space, Invasion Of The Neptune Men, and all the other kids from Time Of The Apes and the other Gamera movies, because as Mike said, “We’re Japanese children, we can go wherever we want.” This, I believe, obviously gives them unstoppable powers. I’d love to see them ransack the Master’s house and set everyone in the basement free, get those three goons from Red Zone Cuba factory jobs, rescue the Sampo without breaking it, lead the cops immediately to Diabolik’s lair, teach that poor kid to have healthy self-esteem without selling his soul to CONN and buying a trumpet, steal the mask from Donald Pleasance and just give it to Puma Man, tell space Santa that Kalgon’s evil right from the start, etc., etc.,. The villain would be “Bob Evil” from Time Chasers, who would try to warp the kids’ powers for his own profit somehow.
MST3K’s version of “The Avengers”:
David Warner’s Baydool -AKA Wizard Whiz Guy from “Quest of the Delta Knights”-needs a team to go up against his rival Lord Vultare and his army. Baydool recruits Ator, Johnny Longbone, Jack Frost, Ivan, and the Viking Women. They all travel In Jack Frost’s sleigh.
Heros:
Jet Jaguar
Hercules
Prince of Space
Secret Agent Super Dragon
Mila (Cave Dwellers)
Villians:
Gaos (Gamera vs Gaos)
Thor (Teenagers From Outer Space)
Kalgon (Space Mutiny)
Balleau (Bloodlust)
Robot Monster
Discussion Thread assemble! This is a great topic I might add.
My group of MST Avengers would be Nick Miller (Time Chasers), Max Keller (Master Ninja), Hercules (Moon Men version), Mr B Natural (female hero), and Tom Geronimo (Final Justice).
They would fight the Masters of Evil which is a high-tier group of super villains. With countless different line-ups, their motive is usually to defeat or humiliate the Avengers.
With that said here’s my MST evil lineup lead by The Master (Manos), Thor (Teenagers From Outer Space), Ro-Man (Robot Monster), J.K Robertson (Time Chasers), and Voldar (Santa Clause Conquers the Martians.
Beverly Garland decides to lead a ragtag band of underdog avengers and whip them into shape: Mitchell, Torgo and Tor Johnson as they battle the evil villainess Jan in the Pan.
MST Avengers Team South:
Doctor Batch once again joins Slim-Tim (so slim he can pass through solid objects), Colossus (master of fern-parting), Samson (provides the transportation and costumes), and Timechaser guy (shamelessly used to attract female viewers).
Watch them battle the She Creature and Krenshaw with his ape commandos in one spectacular CGI battle sequence featuring a paralytic octopus (Bride of the Monster) and some giant leeches deep in the swamps of Southern Arkansas.
MST Avengers West Coast:
Max Kellor (master linguist and ninja) leads bodiless-girl (Tormented; twin sister of evil Jan-in-the-pan), Pratfall-man (Catalina Caper), Creepy-girl, and Mitchell (the “cute one” of the team).
Watch as they defend earth against a simultaneous invasion from the hapless the Eye Creatures, the Moon Men (Herc vs.), and several Giant Spiders.
Lucklily, Rock Jones and crew show up at the last minute to save the day but more lives would have been spared if Rocketship X-M hadn’t mystereously disappeared…
I would propose an all-whimp squad consisting of Mikey (Teenage Strangler), Troy (The Final Sacrifice), the Peter Scolari/Elton John amalgam antique hunter (Squirm), Danny the Sex Poodle (Girl in Lovers’ Lane), Kyle the Red Shorted (Hobgoblins), Jake (Gunslinger) and the Grimolt Prince (Viking Women and the Sea Serpent). I would appoint Mr. B Natural as their leader, as she would the the most manly of all of them….
Team one (Joel era): The Fugitive Alien, Jet Jaguar, Humanoid Woman, Ator, Rocky Jones, Naster Ninja and the unpredictable hulk of the group Glen the Amazing Colossal Man
Team two (Mike era): Samson, Deathstalker, Prince Of Space, Puma Man, Jack Frost, Merlin, Batwoman with guest appearance by the 7 Angels
They take on all the aliens, mutants, monsters and evil forces of the other movies.
MST Avengers Team Hellas:
Watch Hercules join Hercules and Hercules to fight the evil queens’ (Omphale, Samara, and Antinea) attempts to drug and turn them into pleasure toys. Afterwards, they bathe, oil-up, and procede to fight some guy named Cabot and his dreaded Buffalo-shot Batallion. The battle rages on endlessly. When all seems lost, a voice is heard on the wind crying “Noooo! … Noooo!” and Ator glides in to save the day.
MST Junior Avengers:
Captain Bobby (Rocky Jones) leads Ensign Billy (Undersea Kingdom) and the Junior Rodeo Daredevils to battle the evil mastermind Robbie Benson (City Limits), the Teenage werewolf, and Junior (Escape 2000; confirmed Maoist) in a post-apocalyptic showdown.
I would take Gamera from each of the movies and form a team. Them I’d dress them as ninjas and give them really pretentious names. Wait, has this been done?
You could build a team from “Riding with Death” alone:
Sam Casey – Not only can he become invisible, but he can turn one foe per day into a turkey. His weakness would be that his invisibility can be defeated if his enemy asks him for the time.
Buffalo Bill – has fists of steel and singing voice that render enemies helpless. Unfortunately this can also affect friends.
Audrey – Can see anything, anytime, anywhere. Her weakness is that she can’t interact with anything directly. But she can increase the team’s luck by speaking the Words of Encouragement.
Cupcake – She can distract foes by being cute and perky. Her weakness, of course, is that her loyalty can be bought fairly cheaply.
Batwoman, Projected Man, Puma Man, Zap Rowsdower and the Amazing Rando!
Vs.
The Killer Shrews!
(Go Shrews!)
Megaweapon.
You don’t need anyone else.
Ooh, MST Averagers! Let’s see, I’d have Lewis Moffit from Ring of Terror (corpses and kitties are his kryptonite), Hobgoblins’s Kevin (a master of the starter pistol), blond chick magnet Charlie Moss of Catalina Caper (he’s a magnet only on Catalina; if he leaves the island, girls kick him in the ‘nads), the She Creature’s Andrea Talbot (stunning men with her average beauty), and Harry from The Skydivers (stunning everyone with his blandness).
Their arch-enemy could be Gene Hackman, who’s good in anything. In their first encounter….
Oh, wait, it’s MST AVENGERS?
….Never mind.
What? EricJ isn’t here yet to gripe about how Mike, Kevin, and Bill are evil jocks who despise anybody that likes geeky stuff like superheroes?
Back on topic, Puma Man+Rowsdower+the kickboxing guy from Future War+Raul Julia+Crenshaw. Think of the character interactions!
Superheroes need supervillains, so I’d have to say Bela Lugosi (any role), Kalgan from Space Mutiny, Baba Yaga (the “Hunchback Fairy”), all five Hobgoblins, and a Giant Invading Spider.
The 1970s MST3K Avengers:
1. The scientist and his creation, Jet Jaguar (kind of like Antman and Ultron). Also throw in Rex Dart, Eskimo Spy and his sidekick Kenny (Captain America and Bucky).
2. Mitchell, for whom the scientist creates a clunky suit of golden colored armor, featuring an adjustable Zippo that can burn the face off an enemy at ranges of five yards (Iron Man).
3. Sam Casey, and his ability to turn invisible with his magic wristwatch (Dr. Strange).
4. Johnny Longbone for, of course, his archery skills: he never misses! (Hawkeye).
5. Roger from “Squirm”, the worm-face mutant guy who can control worms, leeches, tapeworms etc. (can’t think of an anomalous Avengers character).
6. The Seven from “Angels’ Revenge”, rotating in and out one at a time while the others practice their skills in secret while leading normal lives. The money they make at their various occupations provides much of the funding for the team (Black Widows).
7. Richard from “Parts: The Clonus Horror” who can run and run and run…(Quicksilver).
8. Finally, Pumaman and his mentor Vadinho (Tigra).
Their main antagonists would be the Clan Forrester: Dr. Clayton Forrester, Mother Pearl Forrester, Dr. Erhardt, TV’s Frank, Professor BoBo and Brain Guy (Masters of Evil).
So what’s the matter with animal superheroes getting their own back?
Let’s see:
1) a filthy, disgusting anteater
2) Daisy the baboon (great at flinging her filth at supervillains)
3) Peter Lawford’s Baby (intimidating, but she’s actually a bit of a coward)
4) Mrs. March (as a cat—she’s really persistent)
5) Gamera (being that he is the friend of all children)
Their foes: Gorgo, lots of Deadly Bees, werrrwolvves, devil fish, alligators,
southern fried worms, Gamera’s assorted monster foes, (oh) and watch out for snakes!
From the Japanese monster movies I would pick all of the children who are somehow able to get monsters to do their bidding. Therefore my list is: Ken, Ken, Ken, Ken and Ken.
They have to battle Trumpy.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Shrews!
With their martial arts skills and poisonous jaws, they fight the evil Carrot from Venus and its Slime People minions.
James Best as Master Splinter P. Coltrane!
@27 – Nah, they haven’t done comic-pokes in what, a year now?
They’re too caught up with Wacky Shorts, so that Bill can put the words “Weird uncle” at least once into every description.
(They’ll probably take one more poke at Avengers just because…it made money! What’s WRONG with you hopeless geeks?…but you’d think there’d be a lot more momentum for the new movies by now.)
As for the subject, I dunno, “Fighting the Colossal Man” just brings up that YouTube video someone assembled out of old film clips (complete with Commando Cody, Mrs. Peel, and that hot queen-bee girl from “Outer Limits”):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fCTokuOU_E
MST Avengers:
Prince Of Space
Hercules
Batwoman
Sheriff Beverly Garland
Santo
Puma Man
Turkey Volume Guessing Man
Mister Krassner
Their headquarters would be Rocky Jones’ invisible spaceship, where Bobby would be their mascot and Vina would make them sandwiches for between-mission snacks.
The MST Masters of Evil
Bela Lugosi
The Brute Man
Fantom of Krankor
Valeria
Fu Manchu
The Two Groovy Space Chicks from that GAMERA movie
Diabolik
The Master
They would convene in a secret headquarters hidden inside a giant iceberg and use their fiendish mastery of forced perspective to terrorise the world with toy submarines and men in ridiculous rubber monster suits
I’d go with Zap Rowsdower, the Leech Woman, with her ability to take out pineal glands at will, and Mr. Manfred and his deadly bees. BTW, the dog’s meat, have you seen it?
I`m going with an all-super-secret agent team…
> Super Dragon; He`s got James West gadgets and can stop his heart ! He even comes complete with his own ‘white trash Q’ gadget guy !
> Sam Casey & his Invisibility ! He has a motorcycle and knows how to make lines meet !
> Adam Chance ! With his hidden wrist gun tucked underneath his stylish yellow cardigan, he is ready to meet any threat and KEEP THE APPLE PIE ON THE TABLE ! *(He and Sammy can ride `cycles together )
The guy-whose-name-escapes-me that works for Hugh Beaumont and doesn`t take crap from androids ! He`s got a trick coin and a dry wit, and he`s SOOO GOOD that even his android duplicate was a good guy !
and of course…
BART FARGO ! Even his name says badass ! He`s quick with a quip and doesn`t even take lip from Abe Lincoln…Plus, the guy knows how to test a Timex!
UPDATE: I have just been handed a Personnel File from my secretary Miss Hart (along with some Prozac) and been informed that The Guy-Whose-Name-Escapes-Me does have a name: GLEN MARTIN….
This completes my super-secret-spy-guy-Avengers team….
If we need any genuine super-power, I`ll call in Hercules (but only if the chest grease budget gets an increase)
Deathstalker, Bart Fargo, Adam Chance and Secret Agent Super Dragon vs. Cleolanta, Leech Woman, Terror From The Year 5000 and the Queen from Outlaw. Smug vs. what???
The no-nonsense leader: Gunslinger’s Beverly Garland
The combat specialist: Master Ninja’s Lee Van Cleef
The smart guy: It Conquered the World’s Lee Van Cleef
The tough guy: Space Mutiny’s Smoke Manmuscle- er, Jack Ryder
The weapons specialist: What to do on a Date’s Kay; she’s worked on the kill floor, she knows where to deliver the blow.
They’d journey around the world and through time using the time travelling prop plane from Time Chasers (but none of the Time Chasers cast).
Let me see:
Heroes, Rowsdower (of course), Rex Dart, Pumaman, Peter Graves (cuz he is PETER GRAVES!), Krasker (could serve as a discount Hellboy), and Tor Johnson as Lobo (who wants to redeem himself for serving Dr. Vornoff or that other mad scientist played by Carradine).
Villains: Phantom of Krankor, Dr Z., Jan in the Pan, It (which conquered the world), Kobras (or Prossor), Ro-man. But I doubt they woul agree on something, since they are so personalist, each one would want to be the leader. They can use the other creatures as their servants, like the Deadly Mantis, Gillman, The Horror, The Crawling Eye, etc. Well, it looks I have created the Power Rangers: Crappy Movie Force!
I choose…Ator as the figurehead leader, with Thong as his Robin. Samson for extra muscle. Jessica from “The Thing That Couldn’t Die” as the psychic. Paul from “Werewolf” as the resident lycanthrope. Sam Casey as the obligatory invisible guy. Aram Fingal as the group’s hacker (codename: Interface). Jonathan from “Merlin’s Mystical Shop of Wonders” as the team jackass (plus his reviews destroy entire cities). Dablone from “Escape 2000” as the Dablone. And featuring Beverly Garland as Beverly Garland, the only one who actually gets anything done.
Then again, a League of Ineptitude made up of Droppo, Puma Man, Rowsdower (plus Troy), Mitchell, Trish, Dave Ryder, and Adam Chance would be great too.
I’m not sure about the whole team, but I do think that the guy doing the First Doctor Who in the Rocky Jones shorts needs a role as the science-y guy who delivers exposition and doesn’t actually do any fighting because he’s old and cranky and you pesky kids with your space-robots and space-battles and space-pimples and space-goats and aaaah who needs it all.
The MST3K Avengers: Anyone with a sense of humor, love of fun and joy for life.
Their foe: EricJ.
You are forgetting another powerful foe, Harry Knowles, he has a blog or something. And the Legion of Artsy-Hipsters Movie Critics, who can’t stand the harmless ribbing provided by a man and his ‘bots.
Any team would benefit from having Ator. He’s a fighter, a strongman, and a hyperinventor that could give Forge from the X-Men comics serious competition if he got a hold of modern tech.
For you non comic geeks, Forge is a mutant whose power is like McGyver on crack. He can take apart a toaster and use the parts to make a laser. Makes sense don’t it.
Another good team member would be the Neal Connery spy from Operation double 007, just for all his skills: surgeon, hypnotist, martial artist, archer, horseman, physicist, rock star… Oh wait, that’s Buckaroo Banzai.
Maybe Neal Connery could lead a team into action beating up the penguin band.
@ #30: You forgot Ichi.
@ #41: His name is Professor Newton (and he only looks like William Hartnell).
#46
Don’t forget Scratchy. Even Lisa likes
The Itchy and Scratchy Show. (Oh, that’s
a different Ichi)?
The veteran (Captain America): John Peter McAllister, aka Master Ninja.
The tech guy (Iron Man): Rocky Jones, Space Ranger (Crash of the Moons)
The god (Thor): Hercules
The monster (Hulk): Godzilla
The silent weapons fighter (Hawkeye): Cabot (Outlaw)
The femme fatale (Black Widow): Kako (Angels Revenge)
The leader (Nick Fury): Captain Tom Churchman (Zombie Nightmare)
The villains:
Zor (Cave Dwellers)
Valeria (Robot Holocaust)
The Martians (Santa Claus Conquers the Martians)
Back when I did MiSTings I had an idea for a “sequel”
to the movie set after Diabolik. Pearl was threatening
the world with a machine that shoots a concentrated
beam of bad movies directly to the brain, rendering
the person a vegetable, and after finding out Joel
had been captured trying to stop her Mike & the
bots try to rescue him only to be captured
themselves – Crow via the Double-Jock-Lock, which
he’d forgotten how he got out of the first time. They
would have been forced to watch something, but I
never got that far.
Long story short, Gypsy was going to go Ross Perot-
Iranian Hostage Rescue by assembling Diabolik,
Vendinho, Monte (Ross Hagen in Hellcats), Griffen
(Coleman Francis), Torgo, and Beverly Garland
(explained as an amalgamation of her movie
characters) to rescue the guys. I was also going to
rip-off the “Army of Franks” from Statical Planets as
Pearl’s army.
MISTIE AVENGERS UNITE…
J.C.-THE POWER TO STRANGLE ANYONE WITH TWIRL OF HIS MEDALLION HIS ONLY WEAKNESS THE ESTABLISHMENT
BIG JAKE- THE POWER TO CRUSH GOOCH IN A SINGLE MUSCLE FLEX, HIS ONLY WEAKNESS TOMATO GUNS.
BANJO- THE POWER TO SPEAK INCOHERENTLY AT TIMES TO DISTRACT HIS FOE’S, HIS ONLY WEAKNESS.. STEVE ALAIMO
TRUMPY- THE POWER TO MAKE ANYTHING STUPID, HIS ONLY WEAKNESS IS AN ANNOYING RED HEADED KIDS
TOGETHER THEY TAKE ON THE FORCES OF BAD… AND I MEAN REALLY BAD, NOT MANOS BAD, BUT INCREDIBLY MIXED UP CREATURES BAD. HIKEEBA!!!!!!!!!