Alert reader Ted suggests:
If you could ask any character in a MST3K movie or short one question, what would it be? What do you imagine their answer would be?
Oh I think I’d ask Mr. B THE question: Man or woman?
What’s your pick?
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Weekend Discussion Thread: If You Could Ask One Question…Sorry for the late posting!
108 Replies to “Weekend Discussion Thread: If You Could Ask One Question…”Commenting at Satellite News
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To Jimmy from I Accuse My Parents:
Just how stupid are you?
I would ask Phil in Daddy-O
Why are your pants to high?
To Valaria from Robot Holocaust:
“Where the Hell are you from? And are you related to Tommy Wiseau?”
There are a ton of questions I could ask. But, I should really just relax.
To Commando Cody: Just how badly does your butt hurt?
To the Soultaker: Are you Martin Sheen?
I would ask the grandfather [Ernest Borgnine] in “Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders” what he does to keep young. :silly:
Ah, the agony of choice. Okay…
For Lt. Lamond from “Space Mutiny”: after Kalgon killed you, how did you get resurrected and just go back to your desk on the bridge, like nothing had happened?
I’d ask Torgo exactly how he kept that pizza warm for two hours…
I’d ask Wilbur (from Once Upon a Honeymoon) why God cares so much about honeymoons and phones. Also, while I had his attention I’d also ask why God cares so much about non-Jesus multipled bread.
I would ask the Eye Creatures if the appearance of the black form fitting body suits and tennis shoes was a natural process of molting or because someone “just didn’t care.”
For one thing, I’d ask the Creeping Terror’s Deputy Barney just when he was going to stop playing the field and settle down with a nice girl. (Though I realize his choices were narrowed down by the carpet monster.)
I’d also like to ask the colonel from Starfighters just how many times his men ended up needing those poopie suits.
I’d ask Makonnen what philosopher got him musing that every year of his life
he grew more and more convinced that the wisest and best was to fix his
attention on the good and the beautiful.
As exemplified by, for example, Tawny Kitaen and a plate of bratwurst.
I would ask Phantom of Krankor why their race never thought to wear undergarments.
Actually, maybe I wouldn’t….
I would ask Max Keller and Valaria
“What the hell are you saying!?”
I would ask Gamera if his turtle meat tasted like chicken. :drool:
I would ask Melissa Strickland where the fish lives.
I’d ask the guy-with-glasses from Daddy-O:
Exactly where in the gym policy does it stipulate you can’t help me? And while we’re on the subject, why wouldn’t you want to help me? Does your job description explicitely require surliness on your part?
I’d ask Crenshaw from Boggy Creek II (and the legend continues) if he could please put on a shirt.
My question would be for Torgo: “What the hell are you supposed to be?”
I’d ask Jean-Claude Gosh Darn from Future War to sing ‘Big Country’ for me.
No, wait…I’d ask Diabolik why he let that balloon melt on his face.
I’d ask Batwoman how exactly she got into this line of work and whether she feels having an arch-nemesis named Ratfink has hindered her standing in the superhero community.
I thought about asking Winky from the Rocky Jones shows why they call him Winky but I’m not sure I really want to talk to him.
To Betty, of Teenagers from Outer Space fame: What are you doing tonight? / Wanna go to the weenie roast?
Since I have Daddy-O on the brain today and it’s springtime, I’d turn the tables on Jana:
Want some?
Joel and the Bots: Hey!!!
Sorry, everyone, sorry!
My wife suggested this one: She’d ask Mitchel simply: “Why?” – regarding pretty much everything.
I’d ask Prince of Space, “Will my weapon have any effect on you?”
Torgo, what happened to your motor skills?
I think I’d ask Cal “how he makes it work”.
I would ask Joe Don Baker if he’s fully composed of sausage and beer.
(Mitchell -or- Final Justice)
If I had a second question, I’d probably ask the Neptune Men if they’d seen my record. I just bought it, and I’m sure it’s around here somewhere…
I would ask the hero in ‘Escape 2000’ how he was able to take out a helicopter from 500 feet with a snub nose .38.
I’d like to ask Zap Rowsdower two questions. One question about his hockey hair, his name, or anything really just so long as I can start off by asking him my one real question straight up. “Rowsdower?”
I’d ask Professor Brian Lockheart how he became a Professor of Monster Studies. That’s definitely a career track I think I’d like to follow.
To: the small furry creature (“Benji”) from the narrated introduction to “King Dinosaur” who was a test subject in preparation for traveling to “planet Nova”.
“Benji”, did Joel (impersonating your voice) say you were a “TEN dimensional being” or a “PAN dimensional being”? Your answer could have important ramifications for substantiating M-theory. Roger Penrose and I await your reply.
To Johnny: why don’t you care?
Not so much a “character”, but rather a real person, I’d ask Kevin Danzig (as part of his ‘Kevin Danzig Band’), who performs the memorable tune, “Happy Today” ( :musicnote: I want to be happy today……. :musicnote: ) in the equally memorable ‘Summerfest’ scene from “Soultaker” (#1001) (“Thank You! Our hand-hewn wood cds are available at the gate!”), just where the HECK I can find a copy of his (entire) song, which, from all the searching I’ve done, is impossible to find ANYWHERE (even his own website, KevinDanzig.com, was of absolutely NO help !!!)
Likewise, I would ask The Band That Played “California Lady” (“Track of the Moon Beast”, #1007) where I can track down a copy of their ‘classic’….. :-?
To Coleman Francis: Boxers or briefs?
Answer: Commando!
(shudder)
I would ask Johnny Longbow for more recipes.
I would ask Francis Coleman ‘what the hell???’
I would ask The Master: where did you get all of your wives at? Where did you find Torgo?
I’d ask Dr. Ed Wainwright of BofE–you feel SOMEWHAT responsible??
Thought of another one.
To Coleman Francis: coffee?
I’d ask the Chicken Lady in Mixed-Up Zombies if she ever got her shick into shape.
Would it be rude to ask Torgo what exactly the deal is with his thighs? Oh and his voice.
I’d ask Peter Graves if he ever found his way to the natatorium at the University of Minnesota.
I’d ask Diabolik if he needed a housesitter while he went on vacation. What a cool man pad and you know, to “help” Eva out while he was gone.
For Tom Stewart: Have you ever actually LISTENED to jazz?
For Glen Manning: How many different kinds of fish can you name?
For Doctor Otto Frank, from “The Atomic Brain”: (in my best Monty Python Gumby impression) ARE YOU…..THE BRAIN SPECIALIST?!
If I may ask another question, this can go to pretty much any of the “monster children” from the Japanese monster movies:
Okay, when you grew up, were you able to use your childhood government service on your resume when it came time to look for a job? I have to figure having “counseled Japanese government on how to successfully deal with giant monsters” would be a good thing on one’s c.v.
I would ask Bela why he tampered in Gods domain?
For Tor, what time is for to go to bed?
For Donald Pleasance, Pooma or Pyuma?
So many questions…..