Alert emailer “DaveyR_98” suggests we discuss…
“Oldest-appearing ‘teenager”” in a film. One rule: no fair looking up the actor’s age, this is just by appearance. Also, be aware that the actors in “Ring of Terror”were supposedly in medical school – they would have been in their (ha ha) twenties, so they are not eligible. My candidate: the “supernaturally unappealing” (Mike Nelson’s verbiage, applied to a different actor) Mel Torme in “Girls Town”.
I’m expanding the discussion to include shorts, allowing me to mention Liz, the Romulan roommate in “Is This Love?”
What’s your pick?
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Roxy from Eegah did not look like a teen by any stretch of the imagination.
Then you have the “heroes” from Horror of Party Beach. Elaine looks like she’s in her late-30s at least. Her dubbed deep voice doesn’t help.
And Critter from Girl in Gold Boots. HE’S JUST A CHILD!!!!!
The “teenagers” in EARTH VS.THE SPIDER…
Ha! How about Robert Vaughan as a Teenage Caveman?
And btw, wasn’t Critter yakboy? I think Buzz was
the teleportation adept.
Robert Vaughn in “Teenage Caveman” was pretty clearly not a teenager (though I’ve always thought he was a pretty good actor.)
Definitely the guy who played Brad in Soultaker. Reversing hairline much?
Matlock had to be in his 30’s in Bloodlust.
Can’t forget “the oldest medical students in history” from Ring of Terror, even though they’re supposed to be in their early 20s.
Ooh! And Big Stupid in The Girl in Lovers Lane
seemed a tad older then he was supposed to be.
TORCHA!
The main kids gang friends from “What About Juvenile Delinquency?” look like they were at least in their late 20’s, and the meatiest looking one (if you look at the promo image on the Rifftrax page for their version of the short he’s the one on the far left) was definitely in his 30’s. And amongst the other kids at the school (the ones at the end who are all going to the “spacial Sayshun” of the PTA) the giant guy seems to me like he could be in his late 20’s, or even 30’s as well.
The middle-aged Teenagers From Outer Space come to mind…
I’d say Red from the Beatniks, the guy that gets shot by that fat barkeep. He’s too young to order booze from room service, but it looks like he’s got a comb-over to me!
I guess he wasn’t supposed to be a teenager, more like a guy in his 20s but Dick Contino looked pretty damn old in Daddy-O. Maybe it was just that he wore his pants like my grandfather. Also, Mamie Van Doren in anything was certainly a grown woman.
Understandable btw. My old band is playing the Hardware Bar in Scranton. Just saw some pics they posted. Looks CRAZY!
Were the “beatniks” in ‘The Beatniks’ supposed to be teenagers or people in their early 20s? Because they didn’t pass for either.
No one’s mentioned the 25-year-old teen from “Giant Gila Monster.” If he’s a teen, then I’m a former Miss America winner! Sheesh!
I’m going with the 40-year-olds in Horror of Party Beach.
Rules are made to be broken!
Not that she was supposed to be a teenager, but I’m going with Leah from Space Mutiny. A quick jaunt over to IMDB reveals NOTHING about her (Cisse Cameron’s) age, but since she and Reb Brown are married and assuming they are about the same age (Reb was born in 1948), she was late 30’s when Space Mutiny was filmed in 1988. Nothing wrong with late bloomers!! :rose:
Incidentally, check out her bio picture on IMDB. She has aged VERY well! :inlove:
Pretty much anytime the word “teenage” shows up in a movie’s title, you can guess that nary a teen will be seen…..TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE, TEENAGE CAVEMAN, TEENAGE STRANGLER….
Also, the kids in VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS seem too big, er, old to be teens….
From a short, I gotta go with my favorite, but all those guys in woodshop (and the uncomfortable gym scene) in WHY STUDY INDUSTRIAL ARTS? are in no way or shape teenage high school students.
@ #12 and #15
It’s actually questionable about “The Beatniks”. The gang members were implied to yes, be old enough to order alcohol. The thing is that back then there wasn’t a *national* legal drinking age and states had drinking ages that generally ran from about 18 at the low end and 21 at the high end.
So… yeah, hard to say if they were supposed to be teens or early 20’s.
Either way they were waaaay too old to be playing any of it.
Tough choice, but I’ll agree with ealier posters aaying Robert Vaughn from “Teenage Caveman”. He neither looks nor acts in any way as a “teenager”. It should be noted, though, that the title in no way reflected the actual movie that was made, as Roger Corman has said.
Beyond that, it’d probably be easier to discuss who wasn’t an unconvincing teenager on a MSTed movie.
I’m with Gary Bowden (#2)–the “teenagers” from Earth Versus the Spider, ESPECIALLY the “conductor” of the band (Crow: “more rock bands could use conductors”)–the guy is SO in his forties, and I can’t help but think that Mr. B.I.G. was having a bit of fun there. (“Hey kids, you want a teenager, I’LL give you a teenager!”) I also enjoy watching him talk on the phone in a later scene. He’s stretched out on his back with his feet up–the position of any “teenager” while talking on the phone.
Lots of great choices, though!
Michael Landon in ” I Was A Teenage Werewolf”.
Look, can’t we just rock?
I don’t think anyone has mentioned the geriatric teenagers from the ‘Old School’ in Ring of Terror. But then, they were not exactly memorable.
Teach me to glance at the top post.
rule #1, never post when you’re tired.
No doubt the Dr. Smith (oh, the pain) guy in Earth vs. Spider- the guy was middle aged.
Gary, you beat me to it. I was going to mention the “teenagers” in Earth vs. the Spider. Especially, the fat guy who played the bass.
How about Cabbage Patch Elvis from Eegah. Is he supposed to be a teenager? If he is, he’s pretty darn old one.
@gojira 29..Sorry,but it was the first thing that came to mind.I was thinking of the guy who played the conductor of the rock band or Dr.Smith as #28 said..I was going to say Marvin from HIGH SCHOOL BIG SHOT,but thought those in EARTH VS.THE SPIDER looked a lot older.Want to call it a draw??
The entire cast of “Ring of Terror” looked like they should be having mid-life crisis…
I nominate the teenagers in Invasion of the The Eye Creatures. Blip, blip, blip,blip, let’s turn it over and see what the kids are doing. Some kids.
Mamie Van Doren in “Girls Town” was no girl! :)
Gii…Gann….Torrrr!!!
Oooopsss…..see she’s already posted!
Oh well!
Gi…..Gann…..Torrrr!!!
I think I read somewhere that Liz, the 50-ish looking roommate she was actually 37 when the short was shot.
Coincidentally, she was in Videodrome 2 decades later looking like a spry 130 year old.
@ck (#3): teleportation “adept”? that’s rich!
I would also like to include the “teenagers” hanging out in the malt shop in ‘The Sinister Urge’. And the girl auditioning for the porn harpy Gloria looked a bit housewife-ish to me.
I always thought Paul, the “kid” from The Crawling Hand, didn’t seem young enough to be a carefree college student. Marta didn’t either, but then she was very…smart, so who cares?
There are also two different Jimmys who get my vote: Jimmy from Teenage Strangler, and Jimmy from I Accuse My Parents. They both seemed way too old to be in high school, unless maybe they’d been held back a lot. And they didn’t steal no bike neither!
Buzz, the Icky Elf. When someone punchs him and Mike says: “He is only a child”.
And why not John Carradine? According to Crow he always looked as he was a hundred years old.
How about middle aged and older folks at the school dance in “The Creeping Terror”. I also thought everyone on summer break in “Catalina Caper” was little old to still be in school.
Buz (played by Tom Pace) in The Girl in Gold Boots most assuredly was not “juvenile” delinquent even though M&TBs kept joking “He’s just a kid!” He had to be, what, 35? Maybe 40? Even so, you have to admire a man who has the power of teleportation. Kid or no, that IS impressive!
Was Jack Elam’s character suppose to be in his teens/early 20’s in Girl in Lovers Lane?
Jimmy Wilson from I Accuse My Parents.
And let’s not forget the rampaging psychotic killer from Laserblast.
All the “teens” in Laserblast. I’m trying to figure out if they were supposed to be teens or early 20’s. Regardless they looked older, but they did have the late 70’s So. Cal teen look down pat.
Oh, I just thought of one. But I can’t remember in what episode I saw it. It was a short about waiting to get married. And the girl who wants to wait to finish college is OLD. They may be supposed to be college age, but she looks like she’s 40.
what about the new !! students at iowa state in the home ec short? as freshman, they should have been teenagers although some of them looked old enough to be mothers of teens.
#45: I think that the short you are talking about is “Is this Love?”.
Gotta go with Teenage Caveman, the “kids” in Hobgoblin, also Zombie Nightmare, and the old favorite, the romulan from Is This Love…..even if they were both supposed to be in their fourth year of college, that would put them both at 22 or so, but the fact that they’re still rooming together makes me think that they’re supposed to be younger than that. I think Troy from Final Sacrifice and the kids from Teenage Strangler may be the only convincing ones.
Gah, I forgot about Jimmy Wilson!!! Dammit.
I agree about Romulan girl….although I always thought whe was kind of cute, she’s definitely not a teen. In fact, I mistook her for the Reverend’s wife in “The Screaming Skull”!
I know, I have strange tastes in women….what can I say.