Let’s talk about the Invention Exchange, specifically the ones from Deep 13. Now often their inventions would be fairly silly. However, there were times when they came up with something that was spiteful, sadistic, or even flat out malicious which would really bring out their evilness. So the question is what do you think is the most evil invention exchange from Deep 13? I would go with the Wish Squisher from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, though the Unhappy Meals from The Day the Earth Froze are a close second.
The Unhappy Meals are pretty evil but I think I have to go with the “hard pills to swallow.”
What’s your pick?
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I thought the machine that changed great gifts into mundane ones was pretty evil. But I sincerely wanted an alien face hugger teething nook for my children.
Toxic odorless gas night at the old ballgame. Just can’t remember what episode it was from.
In my warped and demented opinion, nothing beats the Tragic Moments dolls. “I’ll get it….” Classic.
The Tragic Moments figurines from Being From Another Planet were very dark. So they’re probably my favorite.
The most evil invention was made by Joel, actually, in episode 407…. Jim Henson’s Edgar Winter Babies!!!
The meat reanimator from Viking Women is definitely nightmare fuel. As funny as the duel is with the chicken, it’s downright unsettling.
Then there’s the lifesize Operation game from Ring of Terror. Really funny, until you start thinking about the implications. Ouch!
Having worked with children and families (and being a father and grandfather), I always found the FrankEnforcer (I can’t remember the episode off the top of my head either) is both very cruel and a secret guilty pleasure. Forrester’s listing of why its a great device for parents, combined with Frank’s temper tantrum, cracks me up every time.
Happy New Year everyone!
Let’s dig deep! From “The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy” The Mads invent the Chalkman. It’s one of those small child record players with a hand for a tone arm and fingernails for the needle. The “record” is a 12 inch round chalk board! You can guess what it sounds like when “played”! Dr. Erhardt says one could use it to clear house of the party guests stay too long. One could also use it on a commuter train car and have the hole unit for themselves!
There was also that segment in “Eegah” where Dr. Forrester replaces Frank’s blood with radiator coolant. Joel and the Bots were shocked. “YOU WHAT!?! YOU CAN’T DO THAT!!!”.
Johnny Longtorso, Johnny Longtorso,
The man who comes in pieces. . .TISHSHSHSHSH
:musicnote:
He’s LONG.
Let’s face it. Nothing can ever be as evil as
the ultimate symbol of capitalism.
Great topic. I mentioned not long ago that season 5 inventions were really dark and they were, particularly the baseball theme nights and anything involving killing Frank, but the hard pills to swallow is one of the most sadistic (no not the children!)
@2: That was from Girls in Lover’s Lane. I particularly liked the one where the first thousand arrivals get an obnoxious slide whistle and the second thousand get a free set of brass knuckles.
The one that kept Morrisey fresh all those years. Evil!
Dang, everybody got to my picks already, so all I can do is agree with Hard Pill, Unhappy Meals, Johnny Longtorso, and Tragic Moments Figurines, but also throw in the time Mike caught them camping it up eating ice cream and watching Vicki. Not particularly evil, but man did that make me laugh.
Clay and Lar’s Flesh Barn. The evil comes not so much from the invention itself, but from the jingle that even after all these years still gets stuck in my head.
The leach from Attack of the Giant Leaches.
I would say the “Tough Love” seat. With mankind being able to do the most wicked things in the guise of “helping” someone, a electric chair for discipline appears to be not only evil, but inherently dangerous.
Also on Evil Baseball Night is Used Syringe Night
and Crossbow Night (with the lovable, hugable San Diego
Chicken).
Oh, I think “The Cholester-Do-All” hooked up to Frank’s heart was pretty evil. Clogging someone’s arteries to run one’s household appliances…
Putting someone’s pet hamster into a capsule, then making them swallow it sounds like it belongs in the movie Se7en. Terry, no!
Those Doggie Squeak Toy Guitars from Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster got old pretty quick. But I think the most evil was DEEEEEEEEP HUUUUUUUURRRRRRTING…DEEEEEEEEEP HUUUUUUUURRRRRTING…
How about The Scanner Planner! You tried to make my head explode you freaked out maniac!!!!!!!!!!! Or maybe the chocolate bunny guillotine from MANOS! HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!!!!
“You have stolen painted eggs in a time of famine.”
The public domain karaoke machine – because EVERYTHING karaoke is EVIL!!!!!!!
Runner-up: The Hard-to-Swallow pills.
The Agony Couch and the Joey the Lemur.
Nummy Muffin Coocoo Butter. It’s always the one you least expect. Plus, that thing shed like nobody’s business.
DEEP HURTING.
*BREATH*
DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURTING!
SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSTTTTTTTOOOOOOORM!
One of the most tedious sections of a film I’ve ever seen.
Second only to “Hiypno-Helio Static Status” by Dr. Felix Frankenheimer.
The Wish Squisher. “Then it starts to get weird… the rules change… you start to feel kind of bad.”
What was the movie and the figurines like the precious moments? I cant remember when or where I saw that but it killed me when I saw it. Doe anyone know what I’m talking about?
“We will cleave this puny planet in two”
#9 Great I was trying to think of the movie, then I was scrolling up and you had it. ” Here Frank you big baby you want your blood back ? ” Take it, go ahead take it!
It wasn’t an invention so much as another play on a then-current trend, but Tickle Me Dr. Carlo Lombardi sticks out for me as something awfully pure evil. The way he actually sticks to you as soon as you touch him, forever, and that never-ending laugh from every nightmare you’ve ever had, and oh God, and he needs changing! it’s Tickle-Me-Carlo Lombardi!
My #29 was answered by #3 The Tragic Moments dolls, great stuff and a good lesson for me to read before I ask.
For me it’s a tie between the Tragic Moments Figurines from ‘Being from Another Planet’ (especially the unseen “He raises a fist in anger” and “World’s deadest Grandma”) and the Hard Pill to Swallow.
I suppose if I had to chose one of them, it would be the Hard Pills. Even the usually complicit TV’s Frank had a hard time going along with that one.
I don’t recall the movie episode but the nasty giveway things to kids at baseball games thing was pretty evil, but especially Frank suggesting they give away poop. Even Dr.F reprimanded Frank for that one.
Following up my most evil pick, I am reminded of the Joel riff from the great short ‘X marks the Spot’.
Ghost guy: “but Joe’s specialty was sneaking up behind people and blowing his horn and scaring the wits out of people…”
Joel: “Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed that”.
That’s how I feel about my ‘most evil’ invention. It may be evil, but it makes me laugh everytime I even think about it.
I am lactose intolerant so I would have to say the cheese phone. But the mads stole it from Joel so I guess I should blame him and only watch episodes with Mike now… (just kidding) :evilgrin:
The Ant Etch-A-Sketch and the flaming Whoopee Cushion/ Lapel Flower are about all that hasn’t been mentioned and commented on.
And I liked how Dr. F’s objection to poop night was practical, “What would we do? Give them poop?” The preparations for this this makes one shudder. How much would one have to collect for Poop Night, and from where? No, don’t answer that.
The cake with the built-in male exotic dancer was a particularly dark moment for me.
The Public Domain Karoke Machine. As if regular karoke wasn’t evil enough.
Most funny and still really evil – Tragic Moments
Most evil – Hard Pill to Swallow
If you were to take any of the inventions and put it to use in “real” life, I’d think that the pin-point marketing Nelson brand cigarettes from the Dead Talk Back may be the most insidious. Big Brother’s watching, and he’s targeting YOU. Creepy.
I’m going to go along with those voting it a tie between the Tragic Moments collection (Joel: THAT IS THE SICKEST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE!) and the Hard Pills to Swallow (Dr. F: The children! Yes, the children!).
The bots machine that tired to turn Joel into Arch Hall Jr.. Anything that could even possibly make you even a little like the Cabbagepatch Elvis is a thing straight out of the drooling maw of hell itself or Ohio. Probably Ohio now that I think about it.
#44
I don’t know, Roxy would kind of like that machine.
Oh, and watch out for snakes!
Unfortunately, I would go with the one that really does exist . . .
“Johnny Long-Torso. Johnny Long-Torso. The man who comes in pieces.”
As all the parents on here know, especially this season, this is a real toy that every child wants,
In one for or another.
Hey hey hey! Watch it Aldo. That machine is a gift to us all!
Frank’s man baby formula. A large, cherubic manbaby in diapers is truly disturbing.
My sister and I both say the Tragic Moments is the sickest thing they ever did.
Rock Climbing definitely left some scars. The Lawn Baby and Alien Teething Nook were a little disturbing for me, but I had a small child at the time they aired. Also Kathy is correct, everything about Karaoke is evil.