Bit: Tough Guy Names
Episode: 410- Hercules Against the Moon Men
(Tom and Crow have new oversized muscular
arms. Joel takes off a welding mask and blows out his
you're all done. Now, listen, don't take any food or water
for the next three hours, all right?
(admiring Crow): Wow!
Rico-ee suav-ee over there!
Crow: Why, thank
you, my good fellow. Say, you're looking rather Jean-Claude
Van Damme yourself!
Tom: Yeah? Really
think so? You know, inside every Tom Servo is an Alan Steel
waiting to get out. Okay, okay, Joel, ask me "Which way to
Joel: Oh! Just
hold it a second, my beefy bots. You need one more accessory
to really augment your ensemble.
Tom: Huh? What?
Joel: Yeah, you
need a new name that's as big and brawny as your new
Tom: Oh, right!
Well, what good is a tough guy without a tough-guy name?
exactly. You know, the general rule of thumb is that you
take a--have a real virile first name, like "Alan," and then
a second name that sounds like some kind of hard surface,
like "Steel." Alan Steel, get it?
Crow: Oh, I get
it! Okay, my new name is "Drake Tungsten."
Crow: And you
have to call me that, too.
Tom: Okay, okay,
I dub me "Russ Tile Floor." (chuckles and growls proudly;
Joel and Crow grumble and mutter.)
Joel: Well, uh, I
don't know if that really works, 'cause that makes your
middle name "Tile," and you'd have to put it in quotation
marks or parentheses or something.
Joel: And then
that would make your last name "Floor," which really isn't
all that great.
Tom: Okay, okay,
how about this? "Ric," R-I-C, "Drywall!" Ric Drywall!
Well...drywall really isn't that...I mean, it's not like,
you know, concrete or...something hard.
Tom: Okay, fine!
Crow: Hey Tom!
How about "Adam Plexiglass?"
Joel: Yeah, or,
uh, "Vic Kevlar?"
Tom: Look, just
forget it, okay?
Crow: "Jm J.
Tom: Now that's
not funny! Just drop the whole thing! Just drop it now,
listen, maybe you could be one of those tough guys without a
tough-guy name, like Sylvester Stallone or something.
Tom: Oh, don't
patronize me, Joel. (Tom's new arms fall off.)
Joel: Oh, uh,
Tom, I hate to tell you, but your--you just rejected your
Tom: I KNOW THAT!
Don't you think I know that?! I'm living it! I know it! I'm
here living it! (starts sobbing)
Crow: Hey, Servo,
I just thought of a good name for you.
Tom: LEMME AT
'IM! (starts ranting unintelligibly) [Movie sign]
Joel: Oh, we got