Bit: What's Your Dream?
Episode: 201- Rocketship X-M
Transcribed by Lorrie Matheson
(J&TB are sitting around staring out into space, quoting dreamy verses and stuff.)
Joel: What do you guys wanna do with your life? What are your dreams? I mean, where do you wanna be in two years?
Crow: Beauty walks the razor's edge. Someday I'II make it mine.
Tom: Bless the beasts and the children.
Joel: Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you walk near?
Crow: All I want is a tall ship and a star to sail her by.
Tom: Oz never did give nothin' to the Tin Man.
Joel: One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do.
Crow: I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night.
Tom: Half-breed. That's all I ever heard.
Joel: We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
Crow But the stars that we reached were just starfish on the beach.
Tom: Dames like this always got beer around.
Tom: Oh, oh, oh. I mean...Filled with mingled cream and amber I will drain that glass again. Such hilarious visions clamber. (Joel and Crow stare blankly) Poe!
Crow and Joel: Ohhhhhh....
Crow: Hey, there's a ship out there!
Joel: Who said that?
Crow: I did.
Tom: That's beautiful.
Crow: No, no, no. There's, really, there's a ship outside.
Joel: Oh, it just goes on like that?
Crow: No, outside, there's a ship outside.
Tom: Oh, you mean outside the bounds of earthly restraint?
Crow: No, no, out there. See, look!
Joel: Yikes, he's right. Hey, Cambot, give me Rocket Number Nine, I need an exterior of the ship. Let's go, you guys. There's somebody outside the ship...and they're trying to hail us. Check it out on the Hexfield Viewscreen.
[Valeria appears on viewscreen]
Valeria: Hello, puny earthling.
Tom: Oh, hi! Oh, I think she's talking to Joel.
Valeria: I have come these many light years to find you, and now...you and your daughter are doomed.
Crow: Maybe she's talking about Gypsy, Joel.
Valeria: You and your daughter will never escape the power of the Dogwa.
Joel: Dogwa? Doug...Doug Warren? I haven't seen him since high school. Dark One? I don't know any Dark One.
Valeria: You dare to mock me? See if you can mock me in the Room of Questions.
Tom: Uh, Joel, who is she, and what the heck does she mean?
Joel: Just let me handle this. I know how to talk to these space vixens. [uses Binaca] Uh, I could never give in to your demands...you'll...never getÉany satisfaction...out of me.
Valeria: Not even a little?
Joel: No. God, she's ugly.
Valeria: Okay, well. Then gotta go. Bye, bye!
Valeria: Kick it down, Tork.
Crow: Wait, wait, wait, Joel! Maybe she can help us get back down to Earth.
Joel: Yeah. Can you rescue us or help us?
Valeria: To Earth? I don't know. What does it look like?
Joel: We have to get down to Earth!
Valeria: How nice for you. Well, gotta go, ciao! Bye, bye! Tork, kick it down. [in deep voice] I live to serve you. [in "normal" voice] Bye, bye!
Joel and the bots: (variously) Wait, hey!
Joel: Oh, man.
Tom: What a strange woman. Kinda makes you think, though, doesn't it?
Crow: Yeah. Guess you don't have to be a rocket scientist to uh, pilot a rocketship.
Joel: Well, at least we still got each other, you guys.
Crow: Yeah...no matter where I serve my guests, it seems they like the kitchen best.
Tom: Yeah, and if you don't believe the dead come back to life, huh, you should see this place around quitting time.
Joel: Yeah, it's a nice day for a white wedding. We got commercial sign.
Crow: Hey, I'm moved. Who said that?
Tom: Uh, was that Blake? Or Yeats, perhaps? Or Rod McKuen? Hmmm...