Bit: The Observers' Pill Diet
Episode: 807- Terror From the Year 5000
Transcribed by Clay Kronke
(M&TB come out of the theater to see three bowls of pills)
Tom & Crow
(simultaneously): Hey, LOOK! (They look at each other and
shout, simultaneously...) Jinx! Onetwothreefourfivesix--
(Pearl and Bobo fight in background, mediated by Observer 3, Observers 1 & 2 talk to Mike)
1: Ah, having evolved beyond
Tom: Ooh! I know! I know! I know! I know! I know! I
know! I know! I know! I know...foooood!
2: One pill? Perhaps.
Tom: Oh okay, so two or three pills, that's gotta be all you need, given how advanced you guys are, and all.
1: Shhh. With the simple use of
what we call a "spoon"...
Crow (while Mike chops up vegetables): So, a bowl then. A smallish bowl, and you're set for the day, right?
2 (through a mouthful of
pills): No, it'd be
pretty light if you held it to a bowl a day.
Tom: The weight of your body, which of course you've
evolved beyond...(exploding) Well what is the POINT of
having these pills if you have to eat so many of them?! I
mean WHAT IS THE POINT?!!
(ignoring him, mouth crammed full
of pills): If you're
hardgainers, uh, twelve, even fifteen bowls a day.
Mike (working with a skillet, suddenly the Frugal Gourmet): Oh, that's great. Well, what I've done here though is I've made some parmesan-encrusted pillcakes, and I just put some of these through a ricer here, and you just form them into patties--can I get a shot of that, please? And you can see that they're just very lightly done, and that's a light meal you can have any time, and, uh, it's just some shantorels, and some woodears and a little bit of shallots; sautee 'em in a pan for about five minutes, then. We're gonna be back to enjoy this, uh, these things right after this, so, um, we'll see you later and I bid you peace.