Bit: Leonard Maltin's 2-and-a-half stars Episode: 706- Laserblast Transcript by Brett Davinger Mike: OK, let's look in Maltin's book. He gives this 2 1/2 stars. Ooo, "My Favorite Year" barely edges it out with 3 stars. Tom: Look here, "Hannah and Her Sisters" is only superior by one star. Mike: Hey, hey Leonard Maltin gave the same 2 1/2 stars to "My Dinner With Andre." Tom: "Name Of The Rose," wait, this is a better film than "Name of the Rose," it only got 2 stars. Crow: "Being There," 2 stars. Mike: "Lucas Tanner," the movie was directed by Richard Donner?! Tom: Look Mike, "Birdman of Alcatraz," 3 stars, marginally better than "Laserblast." Mike: Oh here we go, "Full Metal Jacket" 3 stars. Mike: Oh, hey "Seven Samurai" 2 stars Crow: What! Mike: Just kidding Mike: According to this "A Fish Called Wanda" was as good a film as "Laserblast." Tom: "Broadcast News," "Witness," 3 stars, barely superior to "Laserblast" Crow: Same for "Diner" Mike: Here we go, hey, this was a better film than "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom." Crow: That's possible. Tom: And the same caliber as "Last Crusade," 2 1/2 stars. Mike: And yet "Blame It on the Bellboy," 4 stars. Tom: Where?! Crow: What?! Mike: Just kidding. Calm down, calm down. So Kim Milford's cock-eyed performance was every bit as good as F. Murray Abraham's portrait performance of Salieri in "Amadeus." Crow: According to Leonard Maltin, yes. Tom: "Baghdad Cafe"; brilliant, subtle comedy, no better than "Laserblast" Mike: Here's where it gets hard; "Harry and the Hendersons" is every bit as good as "Laserblast." Crow: Carson McCuller's classic "The Heart of the Lonely Hunter," no better than "Laserblast." Tom: John Schlesinger's Oscar-winning thriller "Marathon Man" on par with "Laserblast" 2 1/2 stars. Mike: Right, so, Laurence Olivier's chilling performance as Szell, the White Angel, no better than the butt-faced sheriff in "Laserblast." Crow: Again, according to Leonard Maltin, yes. Tom: Look here. "Unforgiven"; Oscar-winner, quintessential Western, Eastwood at his finest; however, I think you know where we're headed with this Mike. Mike: No, I don't Tom: Same as "Laserblast." Crow: Same as "Laserblast." Mike: Ah, here we go, here's a couple more, "Sophie's Choice." Tom and Crow: Uh-uh. Mike: Here's one, "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." Crow: No! Mike: "The Great Santini." Tom: I can't believe that. Mike: All 2 1/2 stars. .