Bit: The Charlie McCarthy Era Episode: 205- ROCKET ATTACK USA Transcribed by rosebear@rbent.com [SOL] (Joel, Crow, and Tom Servo enter, having watched "The Phantom Creeps.") Crow: Boy, that phantom sure did creep...at a slow pace. (Tom chuckles.) Well, 'Rocket Attack USA' should be exciting, the Overlords said it was a war film. Joel: Uh, actually I think its a cold war film. Tom: Cold war, now what the heck was the cold war anyway Joel? Joel: Well, the cold war was a rich, fertile time of paranoia, virulent conservativism, rampant jingoism. Crow: Oh, the Reagan era! Tom: Yeah! Joel: Well, actually, I think it was the McCarthy era...in the fifties... Crow: Oh, the Charlie McCarthy era! (Tom and Crow chuckle) Joel: Well, yeah, you're right, exactly, it was the McCarthy era, yeah. (Holding up a placard with a drawing of Charlie McCarthy holding a gavel.) These are some uh, artist renderings--you want to bring it in Cambot, just a little bit? (Zoom in on the placard, dramatic music starts.) Uh, you see, I have here these artist renderings...(starts doing a fifties era cop show voice-over voice.) You see, one day Charlie McCarthy looked at Howdy Doody's hair and saw red. After that, (placard changes to Howdy Doody before a microphone) Charlie formed the McCarthy Hearings on Un-American Activities. Howdy turned informant and named names. (Placard changes to show Pokey, Gumby, Ollie and Kukla seated at a hearing table) Gumby, Pokey, Kukla and Ollie were all implicated on Howdy's damning testimony. Turns out Gumby and Pokey were in bed with the Chinese. Crow (whispering): I can't believe it! Joel: Their arrest started up the whole 'Free Art Clokey' movement. Tom (whispering): Incredible! Joel: Kukla, Ollie had worked on a left-leaning Clifford Odetts 'Playhouse 90' script, but they were cleared of all charges. Crow (whispering): Wow! Joel: One of the era's biggest informants...(placard changes to show the 'You Bet Your Life' duck before a microphone) Tom: Oh, no, not the duck from 'You Bet Your Life'! Joel (voice becoming even more clipped): He, was a good friend of arch-conservative Marx Brother writer Morrie Ryskind, and as far as he was concerned the secret word was 'subversive'. (Placard changes to show Jerry Mahoney, Knucklehead Smith, and Farfel at a hearing table) After that duck's devastating testimony, neither Jerry Mahoney, Knucklehead Smith, or Farfel worked for years. Crow (whispering): Wow, Farfel. Joel: Arthur Miller took it upon himself to write an emotionally gut-wrenching commentary on the cold-war era called 'Topo Gigio Goes to the Circus'. Topo, by the way, used his earnings from 'The Ed Sullivan Show' to fund the attempted assassination of Fidel Castro. Tom: Well, Joel, after this, nothing will ever shock me again. Joel: Oh yeah, brace yourself, because the most sinister friendly witness brought up in front of the committee was none other than...(musical crescendo) Lambchop! (placard changes to show Lambchop before a microphone) Crow (sarcastic): Oh, wow, big surprise! Tom: Yeah, I always hated her anyway! Crow: Yeah! Joel: She was the one who put the finger on...Davy and Goliath! (placard changes to show Goliath and Davy) Crow: Not Davy and Goliath! Tom: Say it ain't so Joel, say it ain't so! Joel: Davy, being a God-fearing young American, was more than happy to cooperate. Goliath named names too. (Doing a Goliath-voice) 'Duh, let's see, uh, there was, uh, Dalton Trumbo, Ring Lardner Jr., Albert Maltz, and Bertold Brecht.' (Back to voice-over voice) Unfortunately,all the committee heard was 'Arf, arf. Arf, arf, arf.' Goliath was convicted of contempt of Congress, and sent to the pound. Tom: Boy, at least we know an era like that will never happen again. Joel (regular voice, Cambot pulls back out): That's right my little friends. Crow: Yeah. I'm sure glad I'm not a puppet. Tom: Yeah, me too! Joel: Well, me neither. (To Cambot) Who pulls your strings? (hits commercial sign) (cut) .