MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000
THE UNOFFICIAL EPISODE GUIDE
SEASON SEVEN: 1995-1996
701(TD)- NIGHT OF THE BLOOD BEAST
with short: "ONCE UPON A HONEYMOON"
First shown: 11/23/95
Opening: Happy Thanksgiving! Did you see the game?
Intro: Dr. F.'s party continues with Pearl providing the movie
Host segment 1: "Stuffing vs. Potatoes"
Host segment 2: "Art" and Pearl chat
Host segment 3: Thanksgiving dinner on the SOL and in Deep 13
End: Pearl's "Turkey surprise" is a hit in Deep 13
Stinger: "Wounded animal that large isn't good"
Special note: This episode was only shown twice: once during the 1995 Turkey Day marathon and again a few
weeks later (apparently in error). The episode below had the same theater segments but different host segments.
701- NIGHT OF THE BLOOD BEAST
with short: "ONCE UPON A HONEYMOON"
First shown: 2/3/96
Opening: Crow and Tom are concerned about their personal security
Intro: Dr. F. has a traumatic trombone recital, but Crow shines
Host segment 1: Decorating with phones
Host segment 2: Pearl makes Dr. F. to apologize
Host segment 3: Crow is pregnant with shrimp babies
End: Crow's rant about babies disrupts Mike's attempts to read letters; Pearl wants Dr . F. to act like
a baby
Stinger: "Wounded animal that large isn't good"
702- THE BRUTE MAN
with short: "THE CHICKEN OF TOMORROW"
First shown: 2/10/96
Opening: Tom is getting into real estate
Intro: Pearl is going out and puts Crow in charge!
Host segment 1: Tom is inside an egg
Host segment 2: Mike calls his old girlfriend to ask her to help him escape
Host segment 3: Crow wants Mike and Tom to sing "Hang down your head, Tom Dewey"
End: Letters, Tom is not a good landlord, and Dr. F. turns Pearl's date into a chicken of tomorrow
Stinger: "Creeper, Creeper, Creeper! YOU give me the creeps!"
703- DEATHSTALKER AND THE WARRIORS FROM HELL
First shown: 2/17/96
Opening: Crow has new hair--and calf and hinder implants
Intro: Pearl is sick, and M&TB make things worse as a fast food restaurant
Host segment 1: The bots put on a Ren Fest for Mike
Host segment 2: Mike just can't get enough of the Ren Fest
Host segment 3: Crow reads a trashy romance novel to a medicated Pearl
End: Letter, Servo forges the "One Ring," and Dr. F. goes Hitchcocky
Stinger: "Potatoes are what we eat"
704- THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN
First shown: 2/24/96
Opening: Playing a little hardball.
Intro: Crow's "Earth vs. Soup" screenplay is being made into a movie, with Dr. F. and Pearl in
charge
Host segment 1: A script conference goes nowhere
Host segment 2: Crow shoots his movie
Host segment 3: Dr. F. leads a focus group
End: Crow learns the fate of his movie
Stinger: "Let's get the hell out of here!"
705- ESCAPE 2000
First shown: 3/2/96
Opening: Crow's charity auction
Intro: Crow starts a fire on the SOL, Dr. F. puts his mother in a "home"
Host segment 1: Mike helps Crow try bio-feedback, a fire starts
Host segment 2: Men's night on the SOL
Host segment 3: Dr. F. has a plan to boost ratings: Timmy Bobby Rusty
End: Letter, Servo arrives by helicopter, and Toblerone visits Deep 13
Stinger: "PTOO!" "HA, HA, HA!" sez Toblerone
706- LASERBLAST
First shown: 5/18/96
Opening: With Mike tied up, Crow and Tom present the "Thunderdome" joke
Intro: Dr. F.'s funding has been cut, so he cuts the SOL loose! But Tom gets the thrusters working
Host segment 1: The SOL picks up Monad, an annoying robot
Host segment 2: The SOL hits a field of star babies--and one of them needs changing!
Host segment 3: With the SOL heading toward a black hole, Mike undergoes a terrifying but useful transformation!
End: The SOL reaches the edge of the universe and its inhabitants become beings of pure energy! Meanwhile,
Dr. F. becomes unstuck in time, has a revelation and is reborn
Stinger: "Faaar out!"
MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: THE MOVIE
M01- THIS ISLAND EARTH
First shown: 4/19/96
Intro: Dr. F. explains the premise
Opening: Mike's begins his day, but what's that rythmic pounding?
Host segment 1: After the film breaks, Crow and Tom goad Mike into piloting the SOL--with disastrous results!
Host segment 2: Mike and Crow check out the interociter in Tom's room, but the Metalunan they contact is
no help
End: Dr. F. is sure Mike's will has been broken, but on the SOL its party time--with a "THIS ISLAND
EARTH" theme. Dr. F.'s attempt to poop the party backfires. Aaaahhhh!
Stinger: No stinger, but Mike, Crow and Tom return to riff their own credits!
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