Short: (1955) A minister urges railroad workers to stop selfishly getting injured on the job.
Movie: (1959) A mad scientist makes an escaped convict invisible so he can steal radioactive material, but he would rather rob banks instead.
First shown: 3/18/95
Opening: Crow is Tom’s science project
Intro: At Auntie McFrank’s bed and breakfast, Dr. F. demands that M&TB provide some “local color” — and soon regrets it
Host segment 1: Crow learns about “gentle pressure,” but doesn’t practice it
Host segment 2: Frank misses out on “Squanto”
Host segment 3: Mike gets caught playing Rick Wakeman
End: Answering the film’s question, transparent letter, in Deep 13 Frank is still Auntie McFrank
Stinger: Petting the invisible guinea pig
(150 votes, average: 3.97 out of 5)
Loading...
• In terms of the host segments, this episode feels like the opposite of last week, where the segments were kind of blah. These are mostly inspired. The short is a classic, with very good riffing. The riffing feels like it falls off a bit during the main feature, but it definitely has its moments.
• This episode is not yet available on DVD.
• We begin with a hilarious opening, one that feels very season-fivey, then move on to the legendary B&B segment, as Dr. F asks M&tB for help and very quickly wishes he hadn’t. Trace and Frank are hilarious. And watch Mike: He never blinks.
• Dr. F does not mention the short in his introduction. Not sure he’s ever done that before.
• I loved the “Plan 9” reference. The shot is remarkably similar.
• Callback: “Flag on the Moon.”
• Non-spaghetti ball bumpers: Bulletin board, beaker, book, film canister.
• “Gentle pressure” became an immediate catchphrase.
• Interesting commercials on my copy (from the debut): a commercial for their “Little Gold Statue special” and one for “Duckman” on USA.
• Annoying commercial: The “Etiem!” commercial in which the couple, lost in a foreign country, follows a little boy who seems to be saying “etiem!” Turns out he’s taking them to an ATM–they’re saved. Cute the first time, annoying after several viewings. Also: there was one of CC’s “Just say No-J” spots. Good times, good times…
• Segment 3 is random, but very funny.
• Then current reference: the now-largely forgotten movie Squanto, A Warrior’s Tale.
• Although this probably wasn’t his favorite movie, the movie’s director, Edgar G. Ulmer, is well respected in some circles.
• Cast and crew roundup: special effects guy Roger George also worked on “The Human Duplicators.” Special effects guy Howard A. Anderson also worked in “Women of the Prehistoric Planet,” “King Dinosaur,” “12 to the Moon” and “It Lives By Night.” Makeup guy Jack Pierce also worked on “The Brute Man.” Assistant director Leonard Shapiro also worked on “Project Moon Base” and “Bloodlust.” Set designer Louise Caldwell also worked on “Giant Gila Monster” and “Killer Shrews.” Sound guy Earl Snyder also worked on “Giant Gila Monster,” “Killer Shrews” and “The Crawling Hand.”
In front of the camera: James Griffith was also in “Manhunt in Space.” Edward Erwin was also in “Ring of Terror.” Jonathan Ledford was also in “Attack of the the Eye Creatures.”
• Host segments directed by Kevin Murphy. Additional contributing writers: Ben Bakken, Bill Corbett and Drew Jansen.
• Fave riff from the short: “Get out of my head, Reverend!!!” Honorable mention: “Obey the toaster!”
• Fave riff: “Here. These’ll blow your mind.” Honorable mention: “Doc, that’s not his wrist!”
) to help our users cope with "trolls" and other commenters whom they find annoying. Go to our
This is both on and off the subject. I just watched CITY ON FIRE for the first time and it was crazy. This movie has to have the largest body count of any film MST ever did. I do agree that it is a very depressing movie, but a very good KTMA episode. If you have a chance, watch it.
*You have to get up pretty early in the morning if you want to burn up Barry Newman* Joel
When J&TB riffed The Beatniks in Season Four, I’m pretty sure Dr. F neglected to mention that there would be a General Hospital before the feature.
The Bolem is mostly right I think, although I’m not sure if it was Robot Monster. It was a reaction to a Commando Cody short, where they were discussing the scientific implausibility of the jetpack he was wearing. That got on to invisible man being blind because retinas were transparent, and the incredible shrinking man’s voice being ultrasonic because of smaller vocal cords. (It was a great moment in that one when, after the bots blew up thinking about the bumblebee problem, Joel asked Cambot to take a shot at it….)
When I saw Frank in a dress, I thought how could they top that image. Then I saw Mike and the Bots… For a minute I thought they had finally gone insane from watching one too many bad movies.
Just answering my own inquiry….The actor playing Drake was indeed in “Ring of Terror”, and his name was Edward Erwin. (Special thanks to Daddy-O!)
nice short in this one. not as powerful as ‘why don’t they look?’ but still very moving as in it had me moving towards the bathroom.
This is what I like to call “oners”. I remember that I have seen it once but that’s it. I vaguely remember the dude fading away but that’s it. I should dig this out and watch and give it another chance.
I do enjoy this episode. Yet another of those mad-scientist-tries-experiment-which-goes-horribly-wrong movies. Also, wouldn’t a scientist already have access to nuclear materials? The bed and breakfast segment always cracks me up, especially seeing Frank in that costume. The short still makes no sense to me, even though it’s secretly one of my favorites. Was this the days before OSHA? Were people really that unaware of bad things happening when you don’t pay attention? And what the heck does a priest have to do with workman’s safety? Anyway, I remember seeing this movie unriffed on channel 250 (for those who have Comcast) some time ago and I couldn’t believe that I recognized it. It was one of those, “Holy crap! I know this movie!” moments. And I’ve also seen “Squirm” on there too. Really weird to see those movies without the silhouettes.
I think I’ll watch this one again tonight. And I’ll stop blabbering now.
First an important safety tip: Never ever give matches to Mikey.
So as we see Crow on display in Tom’s insect collection the thought occurred to me, when do you suppose Crows legs were created for the first time? It was a long time before we first saw them.
Where on earth did the heart shaped cutout headboard come from in Auntie McFrank’s Bed and Breakfast? There is a lot to like in the sketch. But did you notice at the very end after Clayton takes the pillow from Frank, Frank takes a threatening stance and Clayton for a change is actually cowering in fear.
Gentle pressure: For a sketch that is incredibly transparent and completely predictable, it is still remarkable funny.
Favorite Riffs:
Short:
The highlight is the “average” series of riffs.
Narrator “In those days Joe was about as average a young fellow as you’d be likely to meet.” Mike “He sounds great.”
Narrator “And her face has that glad look I’ll always remember.” Tom “My man is average”
Narrator “And even in her dreams Helen missed Joe when he was gone.” Mike “That was so incredibly average.”
Mike “Hey have a massive coronary on your own time.”
Movie:
Faust: “A man with a gun doesn’t have to bargain.” Crow “He gets stuff wholesale.”
Major Krenner walks into the lab. “Dr. Ulof” who is bent over a microscope: Tom “I’m not looking at my boogers.”
Tom “He’s going to use that guinea pig as a guinea pig.”
The “red shirt” guard gets up to investigate Faust: Tom “I better go fall for this.”
Witnesses are questioned. Tom “He was invisible but I’m positive he was black.”
The Ideal for playing swarthy villains, James Griffith’s tall, dark and gaunt features and shady countenance invaded hundreds of film and TV dramas (and a few comedies) throughout his career on-camera. Highlighted by his arched brows, hooded eyes and prominent proboscis, heavy character work would be his largest source of income for nearly four decades.
He was born James J. Griffith, of Welsh ancestry, on February 13, 1916, in Los Angeles. He and sister Dorothy were raised in the Santa Monica area. An early interest in music led to his learning to play several instruments, including the clarinet and saxophone. He got his first taste of entertaining audiences by performing in local bands while arranging music for them as well. An interest in acting came about participating in school plays and continued when he found parts to play in small theatre houses in such productions as “They Can’t Get You Down” in 1939.
Unable to consistently pay the bills, however, Griffith found steadier work at Douglas Aircraft in Santa Monica. Enlisting in the Marine Corps. in 1941, he served his country until 1947. Eventually married with a newborn, a chance meeting with bandleader Spike Jones while working as a gas station attendant led to a six month traveling gig with Jones’ City Slicker Band playing tenor saxophone.
A gifted raconteur, his later years were spent writing theatre plays and movie scripts, and attending film festivals. Two of his earlier movie scripts that found releases were Lorna (1964) (in which he also appeared), Shalako (1968) and Catlow (1971). Griffith died of cancer on September 17, 1993, at age 77.
Favorite lines (The Days of Our Years):
“There was that perfectly scrumptious model house she’d been wanting all these years.” Squalor Contemporary.
Get off my land you pious son of a …
Hey, have a massive coronary on your own time.
Favorite lines (Amazing Transparent Man):
Well, they have valet parking.
Night of the living Jerry Stiller.
Donald Nixon, ladies and gentlemen, Donald Nixon.
Dear God, it’s Kittie Carlisle, and she’s packing heat.
She’s got Ernest Borgnine arms.
[Laura at the bar] Good morning. Breakfast with Dorothy Parker.
Boy, the worst the guinea pig did was piddle on him.
[old scientist] Oliver Reed is looking better than usual.
[lady in bank] “Oh, my Lord.” It’s Donald Nixon.
So, why is she dressed for Mass? Houdini couldn’t get her out of that dress.
Forget it Jake, it’s Chinatown.
Final Thought: A dull grey short and movie. I give this one 2 out of 5 stars.
I thought it mildly odd that (AFAIK) no one ever raised the point that the movie expected us to sympathize with an ex-Nazi who performed concentration camp experiments (and if he didn’t recognize his own wife just because she was masked, well, what does that imply about their marriage?). Toward the end, when trying to make his point about, uh, something or other, he asks Faust “Did Maria’s mother have to die?” Well, why ask HIM, YOU’RE the one who killed her! When Ulof protested about killing Faust with radiation, the major really should’ve had some line to the effect of “Really, doctor, you’ve already killed so many, what’s one more?”
I think they should’ve had a few more Mister Rogers riffs about the major. Nice bit the filmmakers came up with re the shrapnel, though, that alone was more characterization than a lot of cheap movie villains get.
Although Julian’s backstory came out of nowhere, it at least provided some explanation of why he was so loyal to the major instead of simply leaving his involvement in the project inexplicable. Lots of movies don’t bother to explain why the villain’s henchmen stick with them. I am, as ever, reminded to wonder what the deal was with Graber and Daly working for Retik in “Radar Men from the Moon”; what, the moon guys walked into an underworld hangout and flashed some cash around?
Further off-topic, “The Wild World of Batwoman” also had a nice little cross-section of villainy, didn’t it? An evil mastermind, a mad scientist and his Dwight Fryish assistant (and their monsters), and two commonplace crooks. The expression on Bruno’s face kept showing just how dubious he was about the whole operation (characterization or bad acting? YOU make the call) but, hey, it’s a paycheck, right? And the way Tiger was so casual about how Prof. Neon gets excited about visiting his monsters in their underground city, like “yeah, monsters, how ’bout that, huh? hey, you want some macaroons?” Sometimes the implications of a movie are more entertaining than the movie itself.
“Don’t you give no matches to Mikey!” Still cracks me up all these years later.
I’d say this is one of the better Season 6 episodes. Can’t go wrong with classic sci-fi ‘Invisible Man’ type movie.
And if I could, I would give matches to Mikey.
I would put this one squarely in the “good, not great” camp, even though the short is very good and there’s a couple funny moments during the Segments, the movie itself (and the riffing) is rather ho-hum and pedestrian. Another drab, gray movie experience…
I for one don’t really care for “Auntie McFrank” and their B&B. It’s yet another example (maybe the shining example) of how far the Mads have become removed from their mad scientist days, becoming instead these strange, fey roommates (with benefits?). However, Mike and the bots as the “local color” is pretty funny, especially Mike’s 1000yard dead stare. “You people bring matches for Mikey?”
Host Segment #1 sees yet another burnt-up, on fire Crow. Yawn…
HS#2 is great just for Frank’s epic “SQUAAAAANNNTTTOOOOO!” To repeat the joke in the closing is just the perfect capper!
HS#3 is silly and not really about anything, but Mike as Rick Wakeman (complete with cape and reference to Henry VIII) is pretty funny. *FULL DISCLOSURE: I am a fan of the band YES.
The short is one of those “long” ones, taking up two segments and leading up to the first Host Segment. It’s a pretty good short, very dark and quite the bummer, but M&tB more than make up for it with some solid riffing. Like I said, it’s the highlight of the episode.
The movie is zzzzzzzzzzz, boring. I’ve watched this one maybe 3 times now, and it just fails to ignite me as a viewer, even with the riffing (which is okay, not their best).
RIFFS:
–
short:
Mike: “Get outta town, accident lover!”
Mike: “The doctor’s wife had died, he paused to smell a rose..” ——Plan 9 from Outer Space reference
Servo: “It’s a belt sander! AHHH!”
movie: “Though she was quick and sure and confident in everything she did…”
Crow: “She spit in the eggs.”
Crow: “OBEY THE TOASTER!”
Servo: “Plan 5 from Outer Space!”
Crow: “Charlie was close now, you could smell him.”
Crow: “Now he’s T-Bone Burnett.”
–
movie:
Servo: “MCP: Most Crappiest Productions.”
Mike: “Now they’re gonna record a YES album.” —this must be what led to HS#3.
Crow: “Doc, that’s not his wrist..” —-dirty!
Mike: “This happens every day, whether there’s an invisible man or not.”
–
hmmm,
This one doesn’t quite sink to the bottom of Season 6,
for me it is in the bottom 5 of the season.
Still, I think I’ll give it a 3/5 invisible hamsters.
–
(not pictured, because they’re invisible)
“It all sucked.”
“I regret everything.”
The short was the real winner in this episode. It was bizarre and strange. It was all over the place. A religious aspect mixed in with an industrial training film. They showed us one of those things in metal shop were some guy was blinded. The film part was a bit tedious to me.
I have this one on tape (which is fading fast on me) and it also has the ‘No J.’ commercial. You couldn’t escape that trial.
“Obey the toaster.”
I’m going to give Mikey some matches. :)
So everyone is else all right that the Brains just kind of switched from riffing about invisible guinea pigs over to invisible hamsters at about the 55-minute mark? I wouldn’t object if I saw hamsters as being particularly funnier than guinea pigs, but I don’t see it.
I love this episode so much. I love the short and I love the movie. It’s just a great episode. Though it doesn’t compare to next week’s.
you CAN make a difference!
please send your contributions to:
MATCHES FOR MIKEY
1234 Main St.
Anytown, USA
Won’t you?
Wow, looking at all the comments from last time around- amazing what was topical 4 years ago. I second everything I said last time, though.
I loved this short, but the movie was just okay. I love the depressing shorts because they can bring out the best riffing.
While not a favorite, this episode was much better than I remembered. Really funny host segments, and a very morbid short, make for a pretty darn good episode. The movie itself can be a bit of a slog, but I found myself enjoying this episode a lot more this time around.
So, in conclusion,
SQUANTO!!!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
a warriors tale!
“There. My problem went away.” is still spoken in my house whenever a curtain is drawn.
Do you suppose that the State Trooper of the Apocalypse from Last Clear Chance goes to the Reverend McCreepy’s church of train worship? I think he’d like it there.
And again I wonder, are safety shorts supposed to make you want to kill yourself. Where’s Mr. B when you need him.
this is a much overlooked episode..i like it alot tho..i think its one of the top 10 underrated MST3k episodes..not the best one of a very strong season Six..but still pretty solid laughs in this one..i predicted it for volume 28 or 29 actually :)
I love the short and the host segments, but the movie is okay. It’s still enough for me to give it five stars.
Okay, I think the short is really funny. I admit it. So, what’s with Georgie Porgie, did his wife leave him? He spent a lot of time brooding by himself; even the Reverend didn’t so much as wave to him when he stood awkwardly outside the house. At least the younger men had their wives, and the baby, to hang out with while they were brooding. Excuse me, Reverend, but is there nothing to be said here about having the fortitude to get on with your life after a tragic accident? No? Well, thanks for nothing. :)
I love how there’s a scene in the movie where the woman (name escapes me) and Faust are talking in the car, and from a shot of her, the camera pans to, well, nothing, so we can tell where Faust’s voice is coming from. Also: Susie, Susie, Susie, Susie, Susie, and yay Auntie McFrank.
I love all the attention paid to the organ in the house. (I guess household organs were more commonplace in the 50s.) When I saw the organ, I thought, “How long before they make an E. Power Biggs riff…trying to think of the only contemporary organist I know; and bing! right out of the chute. thanks, MST.
I have a soft spot for this short, maybe because I have been involved in making training videos, and also involved in pastoral and spiritual counseling. I like the backstory they give each character, and how each of their emotional lives are scarred by accidents. They probably had real case files that were very close to these stories. It gives rise to probably my favorite moment in all of MST3K: when the funeral march for his best friend (who he’s killed) goes past his house, George pulls the shade down. “BORRRRRRRING!”
OMG, I am always amazed by the directors of these, er “classics” and what else they are responsible for. Edgar G. Ulmer directed “The man from Planet X,” arguably the first alien movie and staring the perennial favorite, William Schallert.
It always amazes me where these guys turn up.
Also, “Beyond the Time Barrier,” another of Ulmer’s directorial creations, in not a bad little “time travel” movie that they crank out a lot back in the early 1960s. Well worth a Rifftrax look.
First time viewing this one, and it was decent enough, but not amazing. I agree with the other posters who state that the segments outweigh the riffing, especially “local color”. The short was pretty funny but the movie riffing was rather average. Still, at least the movie didn’t drag, which would have made the average riffing seem, well, less than average.
3 out of 5 on this one.
It’s all perfectly safe, now quick! Get in the vault! Quick!
Having finally seen this episode for the first time, I feel quite confident in saying the ‘local color’ sketch is the most bizarre host segment ever. More than Tom “A Star is Born” Servo, more than Joel as a chicken farmer. Doesn’t mean it isn’t hilarious though.
Otherwise, the short definitely overpowers the movie and the movie ends with a nuclear explosion! The short is fascinating in its use of a well-known voiceover performer, Art Gilmore, who is probably better known for his upbeat, jovial narration of comedy movie trailers and Joe McDoakes shorts. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him in anything else this dramatic.
I don’t suppose anyone other than someone like Gilmore could have sold the message Union Pacific was trying to push. Besides baffling dialogue (“Consider that the man at the wheel was in the driver’s seat…” Huh? Where else would he be?), nothing about these ‘accidents’ rings true. I’m a railroad buff, but could someone explain why a brakeman would stand right on the edge of a car that was about to be shunted, even if your friend wasn’t having a heart attack in the cab and had perfect control of the engine?
Fave short riffs
I’m watching you feel good…
Hey, ya dead yet?
All right, let’s get this guy planted!
(shots of cheesy safety posters): See our elaborate safety system?
Picasso’s ‘Woman’… looks like a baboon!
(Train crosses in front of camera): Hey, we’re trying to film here!
Fave movie riffs
The North Dakota film industry never really took off…
Are we done being fired?
I find it completely unsurprising that all of the accidents in the short were the sole responsibility of the workers, not the company. How would the short have looked if it had been made by a union?
IMHO the “Days of Our Years” placard looks less like a lung than Lights Out’s “The Chicken Heart That Ate the World.” No, Bill Cosby didn’t make that up for his act, it was a genuine radio episode in the 1930s.
Sequences where a character’s cherished hopes are dashed and it’s treated as funny really bug me. Like that commercial for something or another where a woman saved up to go see a whale in its natural habitat and then misses it because of her breath mints OSLT. TICKED me OFF.
IMHO inbred people really need some kind of anti-defamation league. Seriously, the level to which they’re stereotyped is ridiculous. It’s not like they had any CONTROL over who their parents were.
Only partially on-topic, it takes a few generations for inbred people to really, well, start showing it. So if you’re expecting a child with your sibling (hey, who am I to judge?), don’t worry overly much about that.
That presumes that he had one to begin with.
(Hm, three sex remarks in a row)
The entire concept of a “sex tour” mildly perplexes me. People spend thousands of dollars and travel hundreds if not thousands of miles just for sex? I don’t even care enough about sex to DATE. Shrug.
According to some sources, sex is supposedly a “basic human need” like food or sleep. Personally, I don’t believe that to be true. And I’ll stop talking about sex now. ;-)
And then you’d go to work drunk and get a safety short of your very own…
There was an episode where Crow said “Ping!” every few riffs or so, when (I think) a character named “Ping” was named. “Code Name Diamond Head”?
It probably came with the house when the Major bought it. Classed up the joint, y’know.
That must be why people stopped wearing hats…
Older films used to do that all the time. Who can say why.
I think they should’ve made more safety shorts (or, really, shorts of any kind) with super-heroes like Guardiana the Safetywoman from “Harm Hides at Home” (“Danger Dodger, I salute you!”). Shorts with super-heroines in very skimpy costumes would at least have the eyes of most of the male employees and a few of the female employs riveted to the screen.
Well, maybe relatively speaking…
IIRC the first film version of “The Bad Seed” in the 1950s had the handyman character running around and screaming comprehensively after the little girl set on fire (the film didn’t show that of course). I’d think that being set on fire would make it very difficult to speak coherently, but what do I know?
Maybe your memories went transparent. ;-)
“DAYS OF OUR YEARS” fav line: (man views neighbor’s funeral…pulls down the window shade)..”BORING!”
Hmmm, some random thoughts: (1) Between this movie and Rifftrax’s “The Amazing Mr. X,” I now distrust any film with “amazing” in the title. They are anything but. (2) The short is a favorite with great riffing, but man! Depressing! (3) The movie’s locale is so gray and boring that I heartily endorse the massive explosion at the end. (4) Favorite character is definitely the guinea pig.
@ #53: There was also the physical impossibility of Isaac Asimov’s sideburns.
@ #69: You forgot the zip code. It won’t get delivered without a zip code.
Cornjob #74: Do you suppose that the State Trooper of the Apocalypse from Last Clear Chance goes to the Reverend McCreepy’s church of train worship?
And is it themed in a manner reminiscent of Father Mapple’s church in Moby Dick?
Although I am a fan of Edgar G. Ulmer’s movies, like Man From Planet X, Bluebeard(with John Carradine) and Beyond the Time Barrier this is one of his worst films. It was even too dull for the MST3K crew to make it interesting.
I really do appreciate the short; without it, I wouldn’t know about gentle pressure, or not intentionally having a heart attack on company time, or staring into a shiny appliance while daydreaming.
Of course, these days I’m more likely to obey the microwave – the toaster can bite me.
Reverend Union Pacific seemed kind of disturbing, what with being up in everyone’s business, but he might have been a very nice man in an ungrateful railroad-centric town.
“Get out of my head, Reverend!”
Well sure. People would head on over to Tex & Edna Boil’s Organ Emporium first thing when they bought a house. Free budgies, doncha know.
“You got matches for Mikey?”
After he tries to rob the bank and starts to become visible, the guy runs out to the car, now totally not transparent, and the woman asks “What’s the matter?” Duh!!! Mike makes a suitable comment.
At work, there’s a daily email that includes a recipient named George Price. I hovered my mouse over his name yesterday, and saw that he’s been offline for 70 days. It appears that George Price, in fact, DID quit on the job.
That’s right, Edna.
I’m from North Dakota, so I appreciate the North Dakota riffs in this episode.
There’s nothing like a safety short to provide you with information that can prolong your life while making you want to commit suicide. It’s an art.
You know, if not for the host sketches this episode I’m sure I would have no memory at all of Squanto: A Warrior’s Tale. Now, I have the memory that, oh yeah, that was a movie and we as a society agreed not to see it. (Anybody see it?)
It’s like warning people about Lovecraftian horrors rising.
Cast & Crew Roundup:
The credits list Skydivers’ helmet-haired Kevin Casey as “girl” though I didn’t spot her. In the bank scene, I guess?
As a former postal employee, I can report that this is in fact not the case. Each piece of mail is scanned and an image sent to the computer screen of a “data conversion operator,” who types the necessary info into the system at which point my role in the process ceased. If there was no zip code, we typed in abbreviations for the town and state. It may have all changed dramatically since I had the job, though.
Postal employees too have to watch the occasional educational short, and I think one of them was on driving safety. It wasn’t at all memorable, though, as demonstrated by the fact that I pretty much don’t remember it.
Well, I’m sure Crenner didn’t outline the entire plan to her. For all she knew, maybe he was SUPPOSED to be visible again by this point.